Broaching the subject

[Skirtboy]

I am, for the most part, still very secretive. I don't want to enter into a relationship with a girl without her knowing about me, but how do I begin the discussion delicately?

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

It's good that you're planning to be upfront about it. If you look at some of the past threads, there's a been several discussions about this and you'll get different viewpoints.

However, it's not something you necessarily need to disclose on a first date. CDing can be a bit unexpected for a GG, so it's generally a good idea to have her have a chance to know you first. One rule of thumb I've heard is the point in the relationship where she starts sharing some of her secrets is a good time to disclose your interests.

In a sense, it's not unlike a lot other of things people don't disclose on the first date, from their snoring to their insistence on the right way to hang the toilet paper.

[Skirtboy]

Thanks, but I don't think its proper to neglect to mention this up front. For one thing, if she don't know, what will she think if she sees my skirt on the floor or something? For another, when she finds out (and she will) how can I expect her to trust me?

[Helen MC]

I told my ex-wife up front and she was ok about it. Some previous G/Fs weren't and our relationships ended. The worst thing to do is keep it quiet then she finds out by accident and is against, heartache all round.

The only possible drawback with telling a new G/F is that is she is anti CD she may well tell her friends etc about your personal secrets and this would be even worse if you work with her, are at the same College or University, or live close to each other in a small community , so be careful in that regard.

[Billijo49504]

Remember the truth shall prevail. Try some thing like, " I have something important to talk to you about. You're a very special person in my life, and I want to tell you something about me." Good luck, it worked for me, as we all hope it works for you....BJ

[Alison Michelle]

In the end it's best to be true to your feelings. I feel as Darla mentioned, there are things I think should wait until later. Very personal aspects of my life are saved for people I have developed a special bond and trust with.

[jessi girl]

it's like throwing eggs and expecting them not to break. as we all know this is a touchy one. i sometimes have good luck with gf's up front. sometimes i domt/ sorry but the only thing i can offer is a prayer.