my first counselling Session

[Sophora]

I scheduled my first counselling today. It will be at 1 pm on the 1st of November. She does deal with Gender Identification issues. I am now scared. How should I dress? What do I say? Do I mention how much I have done and that I am living in gender role now?

Gah! Why did I do this to myself?

[fungril]

Hi sophora
Just be you. Go dress as HOW YOU ARE ON THE IN side and want to be on the outside

good luck
sally

[Melody Moore]

Sophora, just go as however you feel most comfortable, and there is no problem if you want to
express your true gender identity now and tell them about anything you have done up to this point.
It will also allow them to see how open and serious you are with it. The most important thing is you
be open and honest about all your feelings, how things have affected you throughout your life, tell
them about any fears and problems you have had or still experiencing. Anything you want really that
will let them get to know the real you.
Goodluck :hugs:

[Jorja]

I agree, go dressed the way you feel most comfortable. Relax! It is like getting on a roller coaster ride at an amusement park. You stand in line and watch as each before you takes their turn. When it is finally your turn, your emotions and fears rise to the surface. When the ride is complete, you say that wasn't so bad. It was fun actually.

Do be open and honest with them because the more they know and can understand about you, the more they can help you.

[StaceyJane]

Congrats on the big step!
As the others have said dress howw you feel most comfortable. I went to my first session in male mode, underdressed in my second session since then I have always gone en femme. I feel very comfortable doing that.
Often we talk about issues in my life life other than being TS but I still feel comfortable talking about them as Stacey

[Leanne2]

The psychologist asked me to come to the first session dressed as a man. At the end of that session she told me that I could dress as a man or a women for future sessions. I dressed fem for all of the rest and everyone called me Leanne.

[StephanieC]

I just went through this process in August. The first session was drab. After that, I was en femme and en femme in the support group and the LGBT choir that followed. They'll probably ask which name you prefer.

You'll be fine. If you want to feel more at ease, you might want to scout out the place...where do you part in relation to the door...is there a private or common waiting room, etc.

Good luck!

[Starling]

Good luck, Soph. I actually have my meet-and-greet session this Sunday. The therapist welcomed my going dressed; she said it would give her "additional data" to work with. I did scout out the location, which gave me added confidence that I would not have to run a gauntlet of tranny-bashers on my way to her office.

I'm tremendously excited, as I know you are!

:) Lallie

PS: I got a mani-pedi (my first!) to mark the occasion.

PPS: Whee!

[Sophora]

Congrats on the big step!
As the others have said dress howw you feel most comfortable. I went to my first session in male mode, underdressed in my second session since then I have always gone en femme. I feel very comfortable doing that.
Often we talk about issues in my life life other than being TS but I still feel comfortable talking about them as Stacey

I hardly have any "male clothes" anymore. I have a few shirts that are male otherwise they are all female or gender neutral clothing. I guess I could dress like I do around when I am around my mom. jeans(female) and a shirt. I have been using "April" whenever I am out and they ask for a name so I will be glad when I can use that whenever I can.

Do I mention the support that I get from my friends and the non-support I get from my family? Gah! I have been living as a woman for the last 4-5 months and yet I am scared(and beyond excited) for this. This is the most important step in my life and I want to go really good.

[*Vanessa*]

I read through this thread and hopes of living vicariously through the threads in these posts helps my need for belonging. Be nervous, sure but more then that be proud of yourself for standing up to be counted. Good luck and good life.

[CharleneT]

The most important thing you can do is relax. Go as you, as others have said, dress in a manner that you find comfortable. As for what to bring up, I do not think you have to prepare for this. It is not a test. The therapist will have questions for you, and want to talk about why you are there. Be open, be honest and see how it works with this person ( a very important aspect of therapy is that you are comfortable with a therapist, it doesn't always work out and that is fine).

Take a big deep breath and worry not. You are on your way ;)

[steph963]

I scheduled my first counselling today. It will be at 1 pm on the 1st of November. She does deal with Gender Identification issues. I am now scared. How should I dress? What do I say? Do I mention how much I have done and that I am living in gender role now?

If you're going to see a counsellor who has dealt with this in the past you should find that they will lead the conversation in the way that best helps you feel comfortable as well as getting the information to help you.

If you are uncertain of what the counsellor expects from you, you can always call and ask them for some advice but I think the most important part is to do what is most comfortable for you.

I'm in the same boat as you, I've got my first appointment in early November too, let us know how you go though i'm sure we're all excited for you :)

[Melody Moore]

Sophora, I have no doubts at all that your meeting will go really well for you.

Out of a the girls coming out here, you have shown so much strength even I
am amazed by how strong and committed you really are. Just be yourself and
most importantly - RELAX! that cannot be emphasised enough. Your therapist
is your best friend, they are not there to judge you & make any decisions for you.

They will help you explore yourself, your options and support you in whatever you
decide is most appropriate for you. So just keep smiling and you go girlfriend! ;)

[beccacd24]

Good luck Sophora, i wish you the best. be happy with who you are we are all here for you.

[BreenaDion]

Like others said Sophora, be comfortable with your appearence. Doesn't matter how you dress as long as you be yourself. Don't hide, don't lie, just say it like it is. I have been seeing my Psychotherapist aka Gender Specialist for 2 years now and what I have heard she is the best in Massachusetts btw. In these sessions I have only dressed in skirts an dresses 4 times in 2 years. I did for the most part dress male mode for months. Though I am somewhat different I am a true Transsexual and walk a slightly different path. Mostly I would dress androgynously for almost a year because of the heavy burden I had to carry. Two years later its ladies slacks, blouse and accessories but clearly a woman. I am also not much into makeup, maybe because of my age being 57.

I know its a big rush to get started and they also put up big SLOW DOWN SIGNS for you to just calm down, because its years in the making. Relax and go with the flow, they can handle every thing just find.
Good Luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Breena.

[jeri1973]

As others have said just be yourself. I started seeing a therapist back in late June. I went in full drab but every appointment since I haves moved more enfemme. At my next appointment I am considering going fully dressed as Jeri because that is who she knows me as now. Just be youself and as others have said as well -BE OPEN AND HONEST! I have found that I am now more honest with my therapist than a few months ago I was to myself. Enjoy your time with them because you will look back and cherish this time in your journey.

[Rianna Humble]

I am somewhat different I am a true Transsexual

I cannot tell you how much I hate that expression and all the judgement of others that it contains.

Just in this context it gives the appearance that the writer believes that the person to whom they are responding is not really transsexual - this despite the fact that she points out that she is already living in her true gender role.

I know that some immature people look down on those like me who have not yet got to the point where we can lift the holy grail simply because they have, but I am no more and no less a "true transsexual" than any other TS on this forum.

[Starling]

Amen, sister!

:) Lallie

[Melody Moore]

I also agree with Rianna that Breeanna is no more a 'true transsexual' than anyone else here who has been properly
diagnosed as having Gender Identity Disorder. I believe that Sophora is just as much a transsexual as anyone else here.

So please Breeanna get over yourself and PLEASE have a bit more respect & consideration for others here.

[Kathryn Martin]

A couple of things.

Sophora, it is probably most appropriate to wear what you feel most comfortable with. If you appear in either mode but really uncomfortable then it would not help anyone in this first meeting. I went to my appointments in male mode until I began living full time. My clinical psychologist could not believe how passable I was. I also had sessions with a gender specialist specializing in the "what does it mean to be a woman" category. With him I was always dressed in female mode, and he sent me home after three sessions because he did not think I and my spouse needed him. It is a comfort issue and it's about you NOT what your specialist expects at this stage.

BreenaDion, I am not sure why you thought it important to point out that you are on a different direction because you say you are a true transsexual, Could you explain please? I suspect all transsexuals are true. At least I have never thought I was not true and I am living full time for almost 7 moths now as a practicing lawyer, I am 57, I pass completely. So I am not entirely sure what you mean by "true" transsexual? Secondly, can you please define different from what? when you speak about a slightly different path. I do believe there is a distinction between gender dysphoria as a primary condition and transsexualism as a primary condition. Please explain?

Thanks

Kathryn

[Melody Moore]

Kathryn, you are very right that there is a clear distinction between Gender Dysphoria (GD) as a primary condition
and transsexualism or Gender Identity Disorder (GID) as a primary condition and there are many different paths we
can take in gender transition. Some paths will vary greatly from others depending on how much Gender Dysphoria
plays a part and impacts that person's life. Usually most transsexuals experience GD at some point in their lives, but
I also remember Breena saying that GD is something she never experienced. But having said that I know that in some
cases transsexuals overcome their issues with their GD and show very positive signs of commitment before they do
start to transition such as coming out and presenting as their true self even prior to hormone therapy, I know I did. :)

However none of this actually defines a "True Transsexual". I believe that Sophora has been very true to herself
and has shown a lot of commitment about what she really wants. So as far as I am concerned she is already a sister.

:hugs: Sophora

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Sophora..

this is important...the end game is that you are who you are... things will happen naturally for you..you are already moving forward, and its simply not possible to "make a mistake"...in the context of therapy, just tell the therapist you are nervous..
tell the therapist WHATEVER YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH....

i recall my first therapy session, i was so overdressed, and i was driving in such an anxious state, i missed the exit, had to go 20 miles out of my way, and i cried my eyes out , furious at myself !!....it couldn't have gone worse!!!
but so what...i met trans people for the first time, and i did it...thats whats important..

[Starling]

I'm pretty nervous about my first session tomorrow, but I'm much more jazzed by the fact that I'm actually starting on the path. I'm going dressed, but that's probably because I've had three adult lifetimes to think about it. I can't wait!

:) Lallie

[Rianna Humble]

Lallie and Sophora, it is quite alright to be nervous ahead of such a big step, but I'm so glad that you are getting started on this path. Please do let us know how it goes.

[Starling]

Well, I had the session, and loved everything about it. I loved getting the process started for real, I loved driving over the hill, and parking in the lot, and walking through the arcade of shops and cafes, in clear sight of several tables full of people who saw nothing jarring in my presence, and climbing the stairs in my heels (which, believe it or not, I have never done, although I've been wearing heels for years--just always in one-story buildings), and most of all I loved being myself and talking about myself with someone who really understands and can really help me. Finally, after the session I loved being out again in plein air for all the world to see and to not particularly notice.

It was series of small victories, and I was so emboldened that I almost went out to lunch! I would have, if I'd had a companion, I swear. Then I could have used the bathroom.

:) Lallie

[Rianna Humble]

I'm glad everything went well for you and that you even had a good time before and after. Just one thought:


climbing the stairs in my heels

You must have very high heels if they have stairs in them :eek:

[Melody Moore]

Sounds to me like Lallie just had her taste of real freedom - it sure feels nice to know
you don't have to hide anymore. It was really easy for me to say goodbye to my former
male self and haven't looked back and regretted a single moment ever since then.

[Starling]

...You must have very high heels if they have stairs in them :eek:

:brolleyes: With apologies to their cherished memory:

Eccles: Nope, there's no stairs in 'em, Ned.
Seagoon: No stairs? Why's that?
Bluebottle: Because they're elevator shoes!
(SOUND FX: Gunshot)
Ow, ow, ow! Do not hurt little Bluebottle!


Sounds to me like Lallie just had her taste of real freedom...

Yep. Taking more and more occasions to be myself will be very fulfilling. And I will sleep well tonight.

:) Lallie

[steph963]

Well, I had the session, and loved everything about it.

Congrats :) I hope the following sessions are as exciting for you.

[Starling]

Thank you, Steph.

:) Lallie