The good and bad

[steffie39]

Hi girls,

Today was truly a Jeckel-Hyde day!

I went out on Saturday twice but it began much worse than it ended. I took a ride to Bridgewater Commons mall. I wore a long greenish tweed skirt with beige top and heels. I walked through Lane Bryant and then Bloomingdales. At LB I caught 2 sales ladies snickering after I walked past them (I turned around) (the first time I ever encountered anything like that at LB). Then at Bloomingdales I caught a floor walker laughing with others (they were definitely talking about me as I have excellent hearing even for far away). Needless to say, these 2 experiences were humiliating and I was a little down and decided to go home. I never ran across this before (so overt).

I know there are many jerks in this world (more than we can tolerate sometimes) and being human (as well as extra sensitive), I know it bothers me more than it should sometimes even after 2 months or so of going out. You would think I would have everything figured out by now but I guess I still have a ways to go.

After going home (after changing back) I subsequently became determined to try again! I want to continue to try and end my days of CDing with positive experiences. For someone like me that is important. You would think that by this time (2 months) the fear would be gone but it is still lurking in me sometimes (especially after bad experiences) but I will not yield to it!

This time I changed into black ladies jeans, a light green top and some black shoes (lower heel than before). and snuck back out of the house in my usual way. It was close to evening now. I went to Avenue, Payless and Wal-Mart. I found one pair of nice half-boots at Avenue. At Payless I found some nice shoes and boots. There were a 12 but fit pretty well. The boots were black and brown. I also found a gorgeous pair of pumps that had black and lavender/blue in them and had some sparkling small studs on them. I also found a purse to match the shoes! The cashier lady was very nice and helpful; she asked me if I needed any pantyhose or stockings and was the one who told me about the purses. She found me the one that matched those shoes! The shoes, like the purses, had a buy 1 get one-half off the second one so I also got a brown purse. I thus got 2 pairs of boots, 1 pair of pumps and 2 purses as well as a pair of boots for my wife all for $99. Not too bad! I then hit Wal-Mart and got a pair of blue jeans (12 tall) as well as a green sweater and 2 beige tops and a pair of panties. I tried on the jeans, sweater and tops in the ladies dressing room. Lastly I went to Shop-Rite as my wife wanted me to pick up a coke and candy bar for her. Some may have stared in Shop-Rite but it didn't bother me as much as earlier in the day. At least this time I was dressed more appropriately and I don't think as many people stared. I guess the important thing was I didn't let the people at Bloomingdales and LB ruin the rest of my day in the long run. Sorry to ramble on but I just wanted to tell you about my two-part day. I don't want others to get down like I did at first so I figure that ending with a happy ending will give other girls encouragement. Better to fall than never to have tried at all. Take care and good luck for those girls that are thinking of going out.

Steffie

[Franki Kate]

Way to go, Steffie, you made lemonade from your lemon.:)

[Emily Ann Brown]

Awesome finish dear !!!! WTG.



Emily Ann

[Richelle]

Steffie,

Good for you. Do not let others get you down, go out at SHOP UNTIL YOU DROP:D

Richelle

[Laurie Ann]

I'm glad the day had a happy ending for you, snickering and laughing can be so hurtful. I'm happy you did not let it get you down. Way to go girl.

[Holly]

Steffie, way to go! Moral of your story... never allow ANYONE to steal away your personal satisfaction of being yourself! The sad truth is that people such as the sales girls at LB and the security personnel at Bloomingdales have never grown up and discovered there is more to life than their own small subset of biases that define their existence. I'm so proud of you Steffie, for having the courage and the conviction to be true to yourself. You are secure in yourself and THAT is a huge step in anyone's life. Congratulations!

[Shannon]

You go girl! It is important turn around, minimize, or erase those negative experiences as soon as you can.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Steffie, I'm glad to hear you toughed it out and got back on the horse, as it were.

It sounds like you already did a bit of it, but you might take the opportunity to take a look at yourself and see if there was something that might have caused you to be read more than you had on previous occasions. (You mentioned changing in a more appropriate outfit.) It's a hard thing to do, and I don't mean to be negative -- it's just a good opportunity to see if there's any lessons for next time.

Of course you could've just had a couple of jerks at LB and if that caused you to be upset, that raised the likelihood of attracting a bit of extra scruntiny from the staff at Bloomies, who unfortunately were equally immature.

But anyway, your attitude was exactly the sort of thing I was pointing out in the thread about who's really passing. You got made fun of, and while it wasn't pleasant, it wasn't the end of the world. And by refusing to let others have power over your self-esteem, you went back out and had the best revenge: a good time.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Steffi, that is an amazing story..

so far i have not been able to get up the guts to actually try to interact with people dressed as michele.

..got stuck a couple times...but that's another story.. anyway, i think the fact that MOST people treat u nice(and all of us nice) is MUCH more important than the snickers..

i'm all talk because i really don't see myself doing any real shopping dressed but you go out and do it!! very cool and i hope in the end you had fun

[andreaboots]

Wow girlfriend! You've guts...or...spunk! Heck of a rebound! You have the courage to go out enfemme and be yourself, that's someting I will not do(yet). You give me hope! Lots of hugs to ya!!! XXX

[michelle19845]

steff,
you should be proud!you are a strong woman and don't give up.that makes you such a good person.just think of anything that can prevent those things from happening again,by trial and error we all learn something! good job!


michelle19845