well... i think i successfully pass. opinions?

[brandi.tgurl]

The other night, i went out wearing a blue, green, and black dress. it has straps lays just above my knees. it was a little chilly, so i wore a little black cardigan. anyway, i went to a local downtown area, just to walk around and try to blend in. overall, i felt pretty successful - no one really said anything, pointed, glared, laughed, or reacted in any way that made me feel like a stood out.
however, i did receive some cat calls from a car that was in a parking lot, and by one that drove past me on the street. in the back of my mind, i couldn't help wonder if its because i was totally a guy in a dress, or if its because these boys thought i was actually an attractive lady. I want to believe it is the latter... especially because i felt completely at ease en femme. The 2nd incident that made me wonder was that i was approached by 2 different men. Yes, it was a a little frightening, but the 1st was in a parking lot, and man drove up to me and rolled down his window and asked if i needed a ride... i replied no (obviously i didn't) - my car was parked nearby. so do i pass as a hooker? (lol) and if a hooker - was it a because i resembled a tray hooker, or was this somebody truly concerned for a lone lady after dark? I didn't feel that my outfit presented "prostitute" but was something that could have been worn out to a nice dinner, or maybe even a club. The 2nd man who approached me, was a little more tense because this person followed me almost all the way to my car before asking me if i was ok and needed help. Again, the thought that came to my mind was that i must look like a hooker. but, i still didn't feel that i made any indication as such - i mean, i wasn't standing around anywhere. so, what i present for some feedback is this: do GG often have this happen - being approached by random guys like this. Or, getting cat calls (although, i can see this happening more often than i would experience). 2nd, does my presentation, indicate that i am a male seeking relations of a sexual nature? I understand this 2nd one can be rather difficult to respond to. But, i guess, I'm appealing for incidents where girls have been approached by unsolicited people.
Thank you.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Depends some times as to how you are dressed or i have had a few guys say hi & cat whisle & one asked am i interested in you know what...

Im a woman, tho masculine looking, facial ,yet my friends are saying different. so maybe im not i dress nicely long skirts & no not in any way a hooker. tho i do know a few, or the night people through a group i know, a few of our youth have as said wound the window down & commented in there hyped up way,
Tho in the main not a lot .

I did meet a dresser & we walked to a tucker outlet ( food ) & when we left my friend had from a young girl mouthed off at her. & i was totaly ignored .
so i was just another woman as far as she was concerned & had seen me in full view & close up. & my friend well i think it was how she was dressed,
Any way was interesting .

What im learning is , is in how people percive you. so for you posible your looks may have suggested ( hooker ) with out a pic im not sure,

...noeleena...

[J'lyn GG]

do GG often have this happen - being approached by random guys like this. Or, getting cat calls (although, i can see this happening more often than i would experience). Thank you.

I don't know if you really wanted GG feedback. But here it is. Downtown...at night...dressed to kill...walking...alone. That MAY be perceived as a escort/prostitute. Not a hooker, but... (and I have no idea what your actual look was. how heavy was the makeup, the shoes, etc) When I was a teenager, I used to get cat calls and approached ALL THE TIME. I was perceived as vulnerable and easy pickin's, IMO. (i didn't think so then) I don't, often, get approached now, but I am rarely alone. Hubs is with me, usually, when I'm all dressed up. Am I a dog? No. I'm not beautiful, (although hubs would disagree) I'm pretty and I clean up pretty good. Once in awhile, I will get approached and I've been told I was pretty, get polite inquiries as to how I'm doing, but...I haven't gotten asked if I need a ride since I was 16.

That said, nobody knows what those men thought, except for them. As long as you felt good, that's all that really matters.

[Sara Jessica]

How does one truly know if they ever "pass"??? You don't because you have no way of knowing what is happening in your wake. Nor do you know what is going through the minds of those who might read you as what you are but are polite not to let it on, whether verbally or through body language.

However, in your tale, I dare to say the type of attention you attracted is not positive no matter how you were perceived. It all depends on what YOU are looking for in life but speaking for myself, I have little concern whether I'm perceived as TG or not. But I would have issues if I were perceived as being an escort of any type.

[Maria 60]

That's great you went out and blended in and you had no negative reaction from anyone, that really takes courage. My daughter is always telling us that guys will just come out of nowhere and start talking to her or make comments from there cars. She gets that more when she is downtown where there is more action. I guess that's something us woman are just going to have to get used to. I hope this wont stop you from going out again.

[Cynthia Anne]

I don't know if you really wanted GG feedback. But here it is. Downtown...at night...dressed to kill...walking...alone. That MAY be perceived as a escort/prostitute. Not a hooker, but... (and I have no idea what your actual look was. how heavy was the makeup, the shoes, etc) When I was a teenager, I used to get cat calls and approached ALL THE TIME. I was perceived as vulnerable and easy pickin's, IMO. (i didn't think so then) I don't, often, get approached now, but I am rarely alone. Hubs is with me, usually, when I'm all dressed up. Am I a dog? No. I'm not beautiful, (although hubs would disagree) I'm pretty and I clean up pretty good. Once in awhile, I will get approached and I've been told I was pretty, get polite inquiries as to how I'm doing, but...I haven't gotten asked if I need a ride since I was 16.

That said, nobody knows what those men thought, except for them. As long as you felt good, that's all that really matters.

Take it from Grace Anne! Who knows what they were thinking! Just don't worry your pretty li' self about it! All that matters is you! Have fun! Hugs!

[Julogden]

Cat calls tend to mean that you're not fooling anyone, but they're essentially harmless. Females don't usually get cat calls, but CD's do.

IMO, you're asking for trouble by doing what you're describing. You will end up in trouble eventually if you continue doing that.

You need to go out with a friend or two and avoid areas where you'll be perceived as a hooker.

Be careful!

Carol

[AKADonna]

I think the situation that you found yourself in - alone, dressed up, on a city street at night - was the cause of the attention more than how you looked. I would stay away from those situations and places in the futue - just to avoid problems. Otherwise, "Go Girl!"

[Kaz]

The more we do pass, the more we will experience the reality of being a woman out there... and then we may realise what predators many men are?

[Barbra P]

Hi Brandi

I pretty much agree with Sara, Carol, and Donna; you are asking for trouble alone, dressed up, and on a city street. I think the attention you received was negative and you should try and avoid it in the future. Do you look like a hooker? I don’t know but you’ll know the answer is yes when a Riverside County Sheriff’s Deputy stops you, and as an ex-LEO I can attest to the fact that it can be difficult for you to convince him you are not working the street. But even worse would be being followed into a parking lot by a man who then discovers you are not what he thought you were and proceeds to take his embarrassment and rage out on you.

My support group emphasizes, as do many on this forum, that when you go out keep is safe. Don’t park in dark lots, park as close to the building you are going to as possible, try and walk through the lot when other groups are also doing so, and try and avoid being alone. Most women know to do these things for their own safety and when you present as a woman you need to do them too. The fact that you aren’t a GG means that you are even more vulnerable, because there are people out there who will take their rage out on you when they discover they have been misled. While a group of teenage girls may read you at the local mall and take delight in teasing you, no one is likely to accost you and the vast majority of the other shoppers will totally ignore you.

[mendy]

I often wonder the same . Am Ithat hot lady or a Guy in drag. I guess its whos looking

[kimdl93]

I'm not sure what to make of those two encounters...but my instinct is that both of them were at least potentially dangerous. As for whether you pass, as has been said before, most of us don't really, at least on closer scrutiny some traits are a give away. (in my case, it doesn't require even close scrutiny) Still, if the goal is to be comfortable en femme in public, then passing isn't so much an issue. Most people are too caught up in their own lives to notice and the majority of those who do notice will mind their own business, and even among the minority who don't, I've found most (almost w/o exception) to be very warm and friendly.

[brandi.tgurl]

thanks for the feed back. I have pics in that forum.. not of the particular ensemble, but similar to what i always wear. I don't do makeup too heavy, and don't have the body to wear anything revealing. I know i was much less "hot" than the other girls (whom i assume to be GGs) out that night, and wearing quite more clothing.

[maddygurlco]

be careful gurl! I second the cautious comments.

[Stephenie S]

A woman out by herself at night is assumed to be "working" no matter WHAT she is wearing.

DON'T go out alone at night. It just ain't done and you will stick out like a sore thumb. You are far safer in a crowd. If you are in a mall, you can ask security to walk you to your car.

S

[Chickhe]

My wife says it is common to get a comment or horn in the street and depending where you live I would say going out at night alone may be risky or not. Passing or not...best to make the assumption you are not, but the few experiences I have is that you can look pretty bad and still pass or you can look too good and not...its not much about the way you look. Its more about how you walk, your attitude and the random chance someone figures it all out. Going out alone, people look at you wondering why you are alone, so walk with a purpose...like you are supposed to be going to meet someone just down the block.

[Kittyagain]

I think one should always ask themselves "Why?" are they going out, alone, at night. Really think about this. Is it for sexual stimulation? If it is then remember the little head may be tucked away but it still can make very bad decision and I think it did by your description.

If you want to enhance your dressing experience then shopping would be so much better and safer.

Kitty

[SarahLynn]

.... so do i pass as a hooker? (lol) and if a hooker - was it a because i resembled a tray hooker, or was this somebody truly concerned for a lone lady after dark? ....Thank you.

Without an attached picture we will never know. That said; a lady, alone in the city at night, (and we don't know what city but i'm guessing it's Riverside) just walking about is sure to draw attention to herself. If it's unwanted attention then by all means reexamine you style to ensure you do not get the undesireable element of the population hitting on you.

SarahLynn

[Rachel Morley]

My opinion is if you are even reasonably passable, and are downtown at night and dressed femininely (cute dress, cardigan and heels) and you're alone, you're going to attract attention, even more so the younger you are. Guys are looking to hit on women all the time! It's predatory. That's just the way it is. Now you are getting some empathy for women who don't want that attention. The cat calls ... not sure about. Could be that they read you (body movements etc) but maybe not. IMHO a single woman out late at night on her own is perceived as "fair game" for a pick up by most men.

[Eryn]

...i did receive some cat calls from a car that was in a parking lot, and by one that drove past me on the street. in the back of my mind, i couldn't help wonder if its because i was totally a guy in a dress, or if its because these boys thought i was actually an attractive lady.

Put a bunch of teen or slightly post-teen boys in a car and you've got the perfect recipe for stupid. If they're showing off their bravado they're likely to cat-call anything with breasts that moves.

It's probably not such a good idea to be out alone at night in an area like that. Stay safe.

[skirtsuit]

I stopped going out at night completely. Some people think it's easier to blend/pass-less-noticed at night, but I think the opposite is true. I feel much more comfortable en femme on a crowded sidewalk in the middle of a weekday than on a nearly empty road at night.

One of the last times I went out dressed at night I took a city bus south from center city around midnight and had to walk all the way to the back to find a seat on a crowded but very,very quiet bus. I thought to myself at that point - "not anymore. Daytime & bikes for me!"

Best,
SS