Partner, wife, or girlfriend

[gretchen2]

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Amber99]

The word partner always has seemed cold and distant to me, as if the relationship were just a business.

[Kaz]

In my world in the UK, the terms partner and SO are just part of the increasingly politically correct culture that protects everyone's anonymity and the rights of the GBLT community... more women than men have accepted the language/terms, but this may for many reasons. One of my daughters has a 'partner'... they are not married; they have been engaged, but then why not fiancee? It confuses me as to what their relationship really is. I am proud to have a wife... she has been my partner through life is most definitely my significant 'other'... we are married... why should I be bullied by society into not accepting this simple but basic fact? Somewhere along the line we are losing the plot!

[Linda Z]

i really like calling my partner my wife. she seems to like it to. feels warmer, more human.

[Aprilrain]

sometimes I lie and call my partner my husband, just trying it on for size! : P

[Traci Elizabeth]

I am married and when my wife and I have told a "few" people (after my transition) that were are married (since we live in a NO same-sex marriage state) the get the most bewildered look on their face.

My wife and I both know we are married, deeply in love, and committed to each other so we don't need to let others know as a form of security blanket. But I do agree that it does seem somewhat impersonal to tell others that we are "Partners" or "This is my Significant Other" but both of us after trying everything else have come to the same conclusion. It is far simpler to just say she is my "life's partner" or she is my "significant other" and that immediately without further explanation defines us to those folks.

I did ONCE when introducing my wife say, "and this is my husband ********. Well that went over like a lead balloon. We even once introduced ourselves as each others' wife and that went almost as bad as the husband reaction.

So we have found comfort in that it is the easiest thing to do to introduce ourselves as "partners" or "SO." But a lot of times we have just introduced each other with our first names and let them draw their own conclusions.

This situation is just another of many that we have to address. My recommendation is that you and your wife, partner, or girlfriend come up with what you two feel comfortable with and stick to that response.

But there is NO law that requires you to give ANY definition or explanation of your relationship to anyone. If, however, you want to be social and interact with other people or couples, it helps them to understand your relationship.

Just my 2 cents and that will not by anything for you.

[Kathryn Martin]

I have, even before transition always found that introducing Elizabeth as "my wife" as in "this is my wife" terribly disrespectful. It essentially identifies this wonderful person by the relationship to me rather than what she really is, a person in her own right. We introduce each other usually by our first names with the occasional addition "..., my spouse". And, yes we are married and will stay like that.

[Starling]

"This is my baby girl, she is my love for life."

I'm hoping the woman I'm married to will be happy to be identified this way. I will, of course, say her name, too.

:) Lallie

PS: It goes for me, too.

[Hope]

I refer to my wife alternatively as my "partner" or as my "wife." We are legally married, so either will fly, but I out myself less when I say partner... and "partner" is the generally accepted nomenclature for a lesbian couple in my area... Generally I find myself referring to my "wife" in groups of people who knew me pre-transition, and my "partner" with acquaintances and people who we met more recently. I also just use her name... I do sometimes fumble and refer to my "wife" after referring to my "partner" and that usually does get weird looks. So much to remember.

We have talked about it and rather than finding "partner" to be cold and businesslike - we both find it to be a more accurate description of who we are - we are each other's partners in this life.