Help!!

[beccacd24]

What does it mean when i find crossdressers attractive but not men. Does this make me gay, bicurious or what. I have a gg gf/mistress who I play with sexually. I have never been with a cd or male and love my gf. I just want to know what kind of slippery slope im going down? BTW I have full disclosure with my gf and we talk about this stuff all the time. Just wanted some insight from you lovely ladies.

[Kate T]

OK. Going to sound like I'm on a soap box but well, you asked.

NB: all references to you are not directed personally but more generally.

I really don't care what your sexuality is. I don't care what you think about MY sexuality. And I am certainly not going to ask anyone else what they think my sexuality is or how it is or isn't supposed to develop / change / progress. As far as I am concerned your sexuality is between you and your sexual partner.

Back to you specifically becca. I think there is a difference between finding someone attractive and wanting to have sexual relations with them. I find many people attractive (Many of the ladies on this forum are very attractive). I don't however want to have sex with them. It's not all about SEX!!

Hopping off soap box now.

[Danielle Gee]

Becca:

It makes you a girl who put too much stock into "labels" I've always followed that old 60's hippie saying "IF IT FEELS GOOD ...DO IT" You'll soon discover if you're straight,or gay , or bi or whatever.

Danielle

[CallieH]

Becca - to directly answer your first question, it means nothing. I think the best part of human sexuality, and what makes each one of us unique human beings is the differences in what we find turns us on.

Its a very good thing that you and your SO can talk openly about things, keep exploring what each of you like and make sure you have talked about your personal boundaries, and enjoy!

[Jeanna]

What does it mean when i find crossdressers attractive but not men.

It could be that with a Crossdresser, you can have your cake and eat it too.

[BRANDYJ]

I think this feeling is more common then you think. You are attracted to the feminine. Makes no difference what might be under the clothes of the attractive CD or TS. As to act upon your thoughts or not is another thing. I have those same feelings when Isee a very attractive TG. Does not mean I am going to act upon them and cheat on my SO.
I am ot attracted to men at all. I am only attracted to females...period. Now that does not mean I don't have fantasies from time to time. I think we all do. If you are not attracted to men, then you are not gay or bi in my opinion. Even if you acted on those feelings with a crossdresser, does not make you bi. You acted on your attraction to the feminine. Yes you would be commitkting an act that is considered bi or gay, but that still does not make you bi or gay. I think that you are bi or gay only when you are attracted to the same sex (non CD) I hope this helps. Of course it's just the wa I think and feel. But you are far from alone with those thoughts and feelings.

[cassandra54]

it's actually more common than you think. i've been on adult sites and looked at CL ads and there's lots of CDs who want to get it on with another CD. i don't think there's a label that applies to this, it's just a matter of preference. talk it over with your girl, be careful and establish your boundaries and most of all have fun.

[Cynthia Anne]

I find all CDers Atractive! I don't care what they look like! They are still my sisters! Hugs!

[Maria in heels]

Becca....nothing to worry about...its all up to you and what you choose, not what anyone else says. If it is just one of your thoughts and fantasies, so be it, and just remember to do whatever makes you comfortable

[Kate Simmons]

That's a question only you, yourself can answer Hon.:)

[eluuzion]

I believe that you are the only one that can assign the correct meaning to your feelings.

The only thing I can say for sure is that you are not alone. :battingeyelashes:

:love:

[Karren H]

You like what you like... Labels are user definable!

[CheyenneNicky]

First off i think CalvinH is sexy. lol and i would totally kiss her, now as for sex.. not so much. i am attracted to her woman looks. but penis is a big turn off... I am not bi. or gay, i am completely into women and them alone. but can you really deny that a femboi is hot as well. as another CD'er. plus even people who are not cd'ers that look at these beautiful women are like damn... and then they find out they are guys down below, and are like DAMN! and you are hott. lol ... so like i said its ok. but its up to you in the end. I found who i am. and that is ME! yeah ill kiss a guy. but i could never have a real relationship with one or have sex of any type

[jillleanne]

Are you sure it's the cd that you are attracted to or could it be you are attracted to the way the cd dresses? The trigger may be the clothing, not the cd.

[CallieH]

LOL Nicky, I'm very flattered thank you! But like Jillleanne mentioned, maybe the trigger sometimes is the clothing or attitude than the person underneath

[Tina B.]

I would think maybe BI-curious, but only you can be sure. Or since you have never acted on it, it just might be a fantasy, But if it's working for you, does the label really matter, those are for others, to put you in a box they understand, no need to use them on yourself, to you, you are just you.
Tina B.

[ElusiveGirl]

What does it mean when i find crossdressers attractive but not men. Does this make me gay, bicurious or what.

At the very least it makes you bi-curious, especially if part of the attraction is knowing that the CD is male underneath. Have you ever created a "desire map" for yourself? Like a list of all the things you find attractive about men and women's bodies and attitudes and things they might say or do? Try it and see what you come up with.

I am a bisexual CD and there is no easy way to answer your question. When we play with gender, we bend the natural forces of attraction and desire. When I present as male, I send different signals than when I appear to be female. For some, that is enough. For others, they can't get past the biology underneath the dress. Really, no website will answer this question... so play safe, be honest about what you like, and have fun doing it. ;)

[CheyenneNicky]

yeah like they said... try it if you want to ... dont if you dont want too.... Me i attempted to try it... and like i said.. nope cant do it... i was grossed out by it.. but again i would totally kiss calvinH... lol ;)

[bridgetta]

were all secretly gay.. dont tell.. by all.. I MEAN EVERYONE ON THE PLANET.

[JainaCarpaccio]

It really doesn't mean anything. I'm straight, and I went through the same thing. I've messed around with another guy once, to see whether i was bi, and found out very quickly i wasn't. I still find CDers attractive, and to an extent sexy. It's like Brandy said you could just be attracted to the feminine. I know that what it is for me at least.

[bridgetta]

there is no safe mountaintop.. life is ever changing.. . we are only here for a short time.. safety is an illusion.. want and desire are temporary... be proud.. crossdressing explores this illusion.. .. and it is sensory oriented.. a breadth of experience not available to those who are afraid.. militantly strait people are sort of annoying...just saying.. ... trying to fit in a category is a trap.. .. but its hard.. commitment to a person is valuable.. life is fragile and we just dont want to hurt anyone we love by being unfaithful or making them uncomfortable.

[NicolaF]

I have experienced the same feelings too but i don't think it really means anything. I am not insecure about my sexuality, i know i am not gay but i have been aroused by images of cross dressers who pass extremely well, and been more attracted to the pics because i knew they were cross dressers.
But for me i felt that way because personally i get huge sexually arousal out of cross dressing and so i'm attracted more to the cross dressing itself then the person behind it all.

[Maria 60]

I believe if you were gay you would be attracted to men and not men dressed in woman's clothing. I seem to find the attraction to cders because i believe it because i know what there feeling, i know how those pantyhose feel on there legs. We have something in common and find cders on this site attractive but iam not attracted to men. I have never seen a man anywhere and said to myself that guy looks good. But when iam on this site and go to the pics i am attracted to them. I believe i am a regular crossdresser and think you are to.

[CallieH]

yeah like they said... try it if you want to ... dont if you dont want too.... Me i attempted to try it... and like i said.. nope cant do it... i was grossed out by it.. but again i would totally kiss calvinH... lol ;)
LOL.. down girl!! :battingeyelashes:

[NathalieX66]

I kind of think there's a sexuality issue here.

If you are attracted to feminine people, maybe it doesn't matter what's in their pants.

I've been out to some TG events, and it's not uncommon for CD'ers to get together.
It's not my thing but good for them.

I've also been at LGBT clubs, and the gay guys don't bother with us TG folk much. Same with lez girls.
though occasionally, a few from either camp will stray towards us.....There's a mathematical number here, I swear.

In the LGBT world, there is the B. However, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that B doesn't necessarily fit. So i'm thinking the word that i think might work, and that word is (drumroll)......................panssexual.

[docrobbysherry]

What does it mean when i find crossdressers attractive but not men. Does this make me gay, bicurious or what. I have a gg gf/mistress who I play with sexually. I have never been with a cd or male and love my gf. I just want to know what kind of slippery slope im going down? BTW I have full disclosure with my gf and we talk about this stuff all the time. Just wanted some insight from you lovely ladies.

Yes, U R, Becca! I agree with EVERYTHING you've said! I'd be VERY SURPRISED to find u with the same SO in 5 or 10 years!

[CheyenneNicky]

LOL.. down girl!! :battingeyelashes:

pony not dog.. the word is woah.. not down woah... lol.. and sorry ...-_-

still think you shouldnt worry about it... the men look like girls your obviously attracted to the girl... that my opinion..... and you know what... are you attracted to you gf... just like married people its ok to window shop but you cant go in and play ya know

[Aprilrain]

as long as your being safe and not cheating GO FOR IT! So what if it does make you gay, anyway if you like girls too it would make you bi

[Momarie]

Nothing wrong with wanting a man/penis...just be honest about it.

[ReineD]

My opinion: you are gender-flexible, which allows you to be more elastic in terms of who you find sexually appealing. You know a CD is male, but he doesn't look like a male when dressed, and that's good enough for you!

There's a difference between who you find attractive, and who you would find arousing in the bedroom.

The best way to find out is to experiment, as long as you're unattached of course, and then you'll have answers for yourself. :)

[litlejohn]

Same here, i also am attracted to the cd'ers, but for thier strength and resolve in being who they want to be. So long as you have a SO, and you agree to what you are doing then I see nothing wrong in pursueing it together, where ever it leads you.

[CheyenneNicky]

Same here, i also am attracted to the cd'ers, but for thier strength and resolve in being who they want to be. So long as you have a SO, and you agree to what you are doing then I see nothing wrong in pursueing it together, where ever it leads you.

i agree definitely talk to your loved one about it if you feel like you really want to try it...

[HayleyGG]

yeah like they said... try it if you want to ... dont if you dont want too.... Me i attempted to try it... and like i said.. nope cant do it... i was grossed out by it.. but again i would totally kiss calvinH... lol ;)


LOL.. down girl!! :battingeyelashes:

EASY. He's taken. :-p

[CheyenneNicky]

EASY. He's taken. :-p LOL its alright im not after him ^_^ just having fun and letting becca understand that even a straight guy can look at a CD knowing its a guy.. and say damn she is hawt!... its not that im atracted to him... but i am attracted to her.... O.o make sense? as in I am not looking at him as who he is but what she looks like.. meaning am i sexually attracted to her... kinda... but there is that part in the back of my mind that says she is a he underneath... and that aint for me. just like im not for him...

plus these are just easier ways to give oppinions. cause even though yeah she is cute... one im in italy... for the next 3 years.. next stop.. who knows... and i like a girl and am trying to figure out where we are going with our convo's and if i can tell my sister or her that i want to crossdress

[JainaCarpaccio]

LOL its alright im not after him ^_^ just having fun and letting becca understand that even a straight guy can look at a CD knowing its a guy.. and say damn she is hawt!... its not that im atracted to him... but i am attracted to her.... O.o make sense? as in I am not looking at him as who he is but what she looks like.. meaning am i sexually attracted to her... kinda... but there is that part in the back of my mind that says she is a he underneath... and that aint for me. just like im not for him...

Exactly. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to the physical appearence, even if you know that the carpets don't match the drapes.

[kellycan27]

My stock answer is: If you're curious give it a go.. it's just sex and it washes off. Just make sure to play safe!

[HayleyGG]

LOL its alright im not after him ^_^ just having fun and letting becca understand that even a straight guy can look at a CD knowing its a guy.. and say damn she is hawt!... its not that im atracted to him... but i am attracted to her.... O.o make sense? as in I am not looking at him as who he is but what she looks like.. meaning am i sexually attracted to her... kinda... but there is that part in the back of my mind that says she is a he underneath... and that aint for me. just like im not for him...

plus these are just easier ways to give oppinions. cause even though yeah she is cute... one im in italy... for the next 3 years.. next stop.. who knows... and i like a girl and am trying to figure out where we are going with our convo's and if i can tell my sister or her that i want to crossdress

I totally understand, no worries. I was just messing with you. Though as much as I understand that you all are attracted to him as a her, it's still really hard for an SO to see her boyfriend getting hit on and flirted with. I understand that it's completely harmless, but it still signals a girl's defense mechanism as if another true female started hitting on him as a male in a club or on the street. Ya know? To be honest, when I accidentally found out he was a CD and stumbled across a website he was on, I thought he was cheating on me because other "girls" were flirting with him, until I realized they were crossdressers. So, it's really hard to see, but I understand it's harmless.

Good luck with the girl you're interested in...and I hope you can find the strength to be honest with your sister and her. In my brief experience, honesty is absolutely the best option. I can't imagine finding this out about my man after 5 years or whatnot...it would really mess with my head. In my opinion, if this girl has a problem with it, she's not good enough for you anyway. If she embraces it, then you could be at the base of a truly amazing relationship. I accidentally found out after we'd been together 3.5 months, and I'm glad I did. It affected my trust at first, but I soon understood why he couldn't tell me yet. Little did he know, I love him and I accept him for who he is. Now we have complete trust and honesty with each other, and I can honestly say that we're closer now.

[CheyenneNicky]

That is wonderful. i hope she does.... i am just not sure how to bring it up ... ya know

[SmileS12]

Can't Touch This!

Eve

[GG Kathy]

It may be the beauty showing from within that attracts you.

[beccacd24]

thank you ladies so much help and i think that anything feminine turns me on,from clothes to make-up to personality. i will just have to live life to see where my sexuallity takes me. love you gurls!!!!:daydreaming: