What means more to you?

[Tiffany8]

After reading the replies to my last post about saying good bye, I was astonished by the number of people that were more worried about the material items and the money that was spent on them and such.

I am wondering :thinking: what means more to you. The material "stuff" or the emotional part of being a crossdresser?

[Diana Bain]

Tiffany,

I think it's two-fold...we need the material "stuff" to feel the emotional "stuff".

[Kendappa]

The material stuff is a connection to the emotional and for some of us a strong connection. :)

[ReineD]

Tiffany, I guess this depends on how much stuff there is to purge. If it is only a few things that can easily be replaced, that's fine. But many people here have thousands of $$ invested, and to throw all this away especially in this economy can mean doing without other things in the relationship, later on if you decide to start expressing yourself again. I don't think it's a matter of valuing the material things over a relationship. It's more a question of being practical.

But, if money is no object, then by all means get rid of your stuff! :)

[Kerigirl2009]

I would much rather have the Emotional connection to the people that I surround myself with. But I need the clothing too and my wig. LOL
Without the material stuff I would lose my mind and then probably lash out more easily becasue I would be denying myself what it is that makes me happy.

[Stephanie47]

When I was young, insecure and self loathing about being a cross dresser, I purged one dress and one bra and panty set. If I were to purge now it would be seventy seven dresses, 400+ slips, scores of panties and bras, 3 wigs, ten pairs of heels and goddess know what else. I think the tab rings to over $10,000. My slip collection is irreplaceable. That being said, if you need to purge, then purge. The emotional aspect of cross dressing totally overrides the financial costs. I think many of us older CDers are trying to convey our experience that the psychological need to cross dress will not disappear. It may be in the back of the closet for awhile, but, it will reappear. It may take a week, a month, a year, several years, but, it will come back.

[kimdl93]

I'd guess that for most of the respondents, the clothes are simply an expression of inner self. I'd also venture to guess that many of those responding were concerned that you'd purge only to regret it later - and have a major expense rebuilding your wardrobe.

[docrobbysherry]

Tiffany, if u CARE about your fem looks like I do, u want all the help u can get! And, honey I NEED IT! That means buying ANYTHING I think may improve Sherry's looks!

The dollars I've spent on dressing? Countless!

The friends I've made here? Priceless!

[Danielle_cder]

I would much rather have the Emotional connection to the people that I surround myself with. But I need the clothing too and my wig. LOL
Without the material stuff I would lose my mind and then probably lash out more easily becasue I would be denying myself what it is that makes me happy.

Keri hit the nail on the head 4 me! except a wig would have to be my forms:D

[Karren H]

There's a difference? They are intertwined! Without the material things, crossdressing is like the "kings new clothes"... Setting around naked pretending to be a woman just doesn't do anything for me..

[jennCD]

You can't purge the emotional stuff. It simply doesn't go away that easily so there's no reason to prematurely mourn it. A full wardrobe however, can be quite expensive to replace.

:)
jenn

[Vickie_CDTV]

In this new era of economic hardship I don't think one can really ignore the cost. I would at least try and sell your stuff (at least the nicer stuff) to recoup some of your investment; if that is not possible, at least pass it onto someone you know who can really use it (especially if they are needy.)

[LeaP]

There's a difference? They are intertwined! Without the material things, crossdressing is like the "kings new clothes"... Setting around naked pretending to be a woman just doesn't do anything for me..

Exactly right. (Oh, and in my case it wouldn't do anything for anyone else, either!)

Lea

[Lynn Marie]

What does it matter Tiffany? I thought you were not saying "good bye" but going to be "seeing us later". Why did you come back? This is beginning to sound a little like a drama to me.

[sterling12]

I think a lot of people responded about the clothes, because they are coming at this from a different angle. Over the last half a dozen years, most of us have seen literally dozens and dozens of this types of threads. "I'm going to chuck it all, and get rid of my clothes."

A lot of people KNOW, from the usual outcome, (like 100%) that you will eventually be coming back, and then we will have to hear some lament that goes: "Oh, I'm so sad! "I got rid of my clothes, and now my life is filled with angst."

I think they were concerned about you as a person....they know what's probably going to happen.....and, they were thinking about your feelings. Yeah, they wanted to avoid hearing about all the torment when you return, about the (discarded/burned/ buried clothes, but I think they also wanted to spare YOU all that bereavement!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kendra_gurl]

Tiffany had you said in your other thread that you were making a serious attempt to give up your crossdressing completely and saying good bye to everyone here the responces you received may have been different. What concerned me was your saying you would be checking in and adding your 2cents worth every now and then.

To completely give up crossdressing is at best a very very difficult thing to do and I really don't see you being successful if you continue using this site or any CD web site as it will be a constant trigger for your desire.

I think that is why so many suggested for you not to purge everything at this time but to box it all up and store it away.

If you really want to give it up and be what you consider a "normal" guy for your ex wife I wish you all the best.

Most of us will still be here if and when you return

[NicoleScott]

Which would you rather do? Eat or breathe?

[LeaP]

Which would you rather do? Eat or breathe?

Well, historically, women actually didn't do much of either in certain eras! Think laced corsets!

Lately, I've decided to breathe more and eat less. Best way to drop a dress size or two.

Lea