Life's passing me by

[Jess Marie]

I was attending the wake of a friend, I can't say "old friend" as I am only 19, but it would be fitting for that description. He passed when in an accident on his motorcycle, he would turn 20 in December. It had been about a year since we had last talked, not that we were fighting or disagreeing, just that we graduated high school and life was taking its course.

It seems people always have an epiphany after someone close to them passes, and its no exception with me. I realized that I am not invisible and that I could pass at anytime without warning, whether it be in the car or sleeping.

I brought Jess's clothes to college, not because I really wanted to, but in fear they would be found here at home. With that being said, my mom knows I wear panties, as I've accidentally sent some through the wash multiple times.I was just worried about the dresses, bras, forms, etc. So they are packed up under my bed at college. I haven't had the desire to dress since I got to college, I have no clue why as it is what got me through college and I loved the one time that I went out in public.

I think my change in attitude towards dressing comes from living with a floor of guys and just being busy in college. I still talk to a friend about dressing and I enjoy talking about it with her, and I still want to go out with her, but I have no desire to even put on a pair of panties and go to class. It's sorta creeping me out.

So, I have concluded, that since I have not been active on here in 2+ months, that I would have 1 final post to say my goodbyes. I'm sure I'll be back as this is most likely only a stage or something temporary, but it just seems like the right thing to do at this point in my life.

I love all of you that I've met on here and I wish you the best of luck in life.

I'll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite authors, Ralph Waldo Emerson, "A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise shall give him no peace."

[Katrina Black]

Sometimes we have to put fantasy aside for a while ...and sometime we can fantasize, you will be able to play agian someday.your young and have a long fun future ahead.enjoy life

[ReineD]

Jess, I'm sorry about your friend. :sad:

And if it means anything, my SO's priorities were similar to yours when he was in college. It wasn't until much later, when he was settled into a career, that he took up the CDing again. He never beat himself up over this, he just went with the flow of his life.

So enjoy your life and your student days and I wish you all the best in your future. :)

But, I hope this is just a goodbye to Jess, and not a goodbye to you? (Because goodbye threads are not allowed).

[docrobbysherry]

U sound VERY mature for your age, Jess. I can only hope my daughter, who is a few years behind u, will have your wisdom at your age!

I refuse to say, "Goodbye"! Only, "See u later"!

[Diane Smith]

I had no particular urge to dress during my busy college years, either. I never purged, but then again, I didn't own much stuff at that time anyway.

The desire came roaring back with a full head of steam during the Christmas break in the middle of my senior year. I spent most of that last semester going to class with earrings, lipgloss and eyeshadow on.

I think it's natural that intense responsibilities in other areas of our lives can displace crossdressing as a primary focus for a limited time, although like most here, I believe that the underlying need never extinguishes completely, and can return as soon as there is more opportunity to indulge it.

- Diane