Gemma's debut - A bit of a letdown!

[Gemma Rhodes]

Hi Girls,

Well I have finally done it but it was not as good as I thought it would be. The club really was not my scene and I would have been a lot happier just staying in the hotel bar, chatting and drinking en fem with friends.

I just want to be able to do what a normal woman of my age would do and I am still a million miles away from that. This has not affected my desire to dress at all in fact it has mae it stronger but until I can summon up the courage to tell family/friends about me and what I want to do with the rest of my life then I wonder what the future will hold for me.

I have attached a couple of pics. The first one is of me and my good friend Connie at the hotel and the 2nd is just me in the club.

Gemma xx

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Sorry to hear it was anti-climatic. But sometimes when we really are anticipating something that happens. :hugs:

But look on the bright side. You took a major step. You learned something about what you do and don't like to do, and you can plan accordingly next time.

I don't think nearly you're as far as think from doing the sorts of things you want to do. It's all a matter of keeping things in perspective. If you want to be mistaken for a GG, that's something very few of us -- including pre-op TSs -- achieve 100% of the time. But from your photos you look quite presentable. So if you want to go out and do the sorts of things a normal woman of your age might do, that's entirely doable. I've gone out and done that sort thing, I just realize that people I interact with may well realize that I'm a guy in a dress. And they have, but still treated me a like a lady. Obviously it may be easier, given where I live, but the key thing is if act like you deserve respect, you usually get it.

Anyway, just remember, it's one step after another that leads you out of the closet. Each step might not be exactly on the right path, but they're all in the right general direction.

[urban gypsy]

Don't be put off by this little set back just cos' the clubing thing isn't your seen, but you took the major step forward so don't step backwards.
Maybe next time try a concert or a club that caters more for age group.
The couple of clubs that I go to cater for my age group a couple of times a month playing older era music and only allowing in Over 25's only so its a much better atmosphere.
Also one has a LGB night once a fortnight, the people there no that i am a cd but that I am also married as Anne Marie usually comes with me. so its a very relaxed and such a scream as the people are just so genuine.

Keep going forward never back.

[Shannon]

Hi Gemma,
It is unfortunate that your evening didn't meet your expectations. You did accomplish quite a lot though -- you did something you wanted to do, you learned more about yourself and what works and doesn't work for you, and as you said, it has made you stronger.

[Gemma Rhodes]

Thanks girls, I think its something along the lines of "building yourself up for a fall". Its not put me off about getting out I would just like to find a more suitable venue where you don't have to shout over a thudding bassline to make yourself heard.

I prefer a quiet drink with good friends and a good conversation. Just need to find somewhere thats possible thats all.

Gemma xx

[Holly]

Gemma you did it! That's the most important thing. Look forward ot the future. Decide what it is that you REALLY want to do and set your sights on acieving those goals. If you want to do what a "normal" woman your age would do, then plan that outing and do it... shopping, dining, a movie, a walk on the beach or in a park, a visit to an art gallery... we live because we have dreams. Live your dream. Best wishes.

[Lauren_T]

Then this isn't any sort of failure, but simply a trial run! Now you can do it all proper, knowing what works and what doesn't, right? :thumbsup: :D

[ChrissyCrossedLegs]

Sorry to hear it didn't work as planned Gemma, I have been there myself so I know how it feels.
However, as many here have already said. at least you got out.. and next time WILL BE BETTER.. wont it?
Hugz
SammyJo

[Tamara Croft]

You know, I used to love going clubbing, but now, I feel too old.. yes even at 35 I feel like I'm too old and it's not my thing anymore :( Is this how it felt for you? was it full of teenagers? I mean, damn it sucks don't it :angry:

[KatieZ]

"The best laid plans of mice and ...crossdressers, often go awry"

But that's OK because it was a learning experience. You are very presentable and would have no problem going out, as Holly said, "shopping, dining, a movie, a walk on the beach or in a park, a visit to an art gallery". The only thing you might have to do is work on your voice to complete the illusion.

Stick with it g/f, you'll find your niche.

Hugs

[uknowhoo]

Gemma, I am so glad you finally did get out, and I'm confident next time will be more rewarding. Hugs, Tammi

[Julie York]

Shame it didn't work out, but credit to you for pursuing what you want. :thumbsup:

[Kimberly]

So clubs aren't for you... fine!! You'll work something out ;)

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi Gemma!

Congratulations! It's a start. You still did it. Yay!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry it didn't go as well as you would have liked. I look at this though and see that you were able to go out. That's a big step. It takes much courage. Don't discount that. Look back on it for everything that was good, and appreciate it for what it is. For those things you'd have liked to be different, well, those are for learning.

Congratulations Lady! Ya done good. :cheer:

[Rachel Morley]

Well done for getting out there and doing it. Oh well, this time it didn't quite work out as you imagined, but next time things will be different because you'll know what NOT to do.

I agree with others, you look pretty good and I see no reason why you can't just start doing stuff as a woman your age would. Keep it up, going out suits you!

[Gemma Rhodes]

I agree with others, you look pretty good and I see no reason why you can't just start doing stuff as a woman your age would. Keep it up, going out suits you!

Thanks Angel but Im not quite at that stage yet though considering I have lost a hell of a lot of weight in the last 6 months, I will continue until I am comfortable with my weight. This experience has not put me off going out at all, in fact it has made me even more determined to get out and about. I am patient and will wait for as long as it takes until I feel confident enough. After spending 10 years in denial I have a lot of wasted time to make up for.

Gemma xx

[BeckyCath]

Gemma, In a way I'm glad you didn't let the euphoria of the event cloud your judgement!

Pink Punters is a loud smokey hole, and the debs ball is probably the biggest tranny night of the year there... Problem with tranny nights are they're full of trannies trying to impress, and you'd find the same thing at transmission or the WOC or any of the other tranny events in the UK!

The easiest thing to do is just get out there and "do woman" I felt so much more at ease when i went to my local with one of my RG's friends and had a quiet drink and loads of chat, i also feel alot more at ease when i'm out having a meal with a handful, rather than being on show at some club, where everyone is checking you out and rating you there and then...

Don't get me wrong, clubbing has it's place, and i enjoy a good boogie like many girls my age (I'm 33, and not too old!) but i'm not going to do it all the time...

Don't let the downer put you off!

Huggles

Rebecca

[Gemma Rhodes]

Gemma, In a way I'm glad you didn't let the euphoria of the event cloud your judgement!

Pink Punters is a loud smokey hole, and the debs ball is probably the biggest tranny night of the year there... Problem with tranny nights are they're full of trannies trying to impress, and you'd find the same thing at transmission or the WOC or any of the other tranny events in the UK!

The easiest thing to do is just get out there and "do woman" I felt so much more at ease when i went to my local with one of my RG's friends and had a quiet drink and loads of chat, i also feel alot more at ease when i'm out having a meal with a handful, rather than being on show at some club, where everyone is checking you out and rating you there and then...

Don't get me wrong, clubbing has it's place, and i enjoy a good boogie like many girls my age (I'm 33, and not too old!) but i'm not going to do it all the time...

Don't let the downer put you off!

Huggles

Rebecca

Its definately not going to put me off Rebecca. The hotel experience before the club was a real buzz and in hindsight I wish that I could have stayed in the hotel bar till closing time just drinking and chatting with friends. As I said im 41 now and the club really was not my scene but i am now even more determined to, as you say, "do woman" now.

Im not a TV who dresses for a sexual kick. I just want to be able to dress and do things that a woman of my age would do and I don't think may 41 year old women would be going to a club like PP.

Gemma xx

[Wendy me]

yar that club sean was ok a while ago but sometimes i rather a more quiet time out .... tons of things to do dressed like shopping??????

[BeckyCath]

... I just want to be able to dress and do things that a woman of my age would do and I don't think may 41 year old women would be going to a club like PP.

I've been to PP during the week, and there are all age ranges in there, what you probably meant to say is "Not many 40 something women would be going to tranny night"

I have stopped doing scene, it's what you feel comfy with i guess! Wait 'til you get an invite to an Anne Summers party!

Rebecca