Does CD'ing dictate your sexualtiy?

[BridalBoy]

Hey there. Question. I'm stuck in a revolving thaught going through my head. Now that Im divorced, i thaught it would be a great time to go out and take care of my fantasy of me playing "bride" on her wedding night. I won't go into details here, but you can probably imagine.

I have read stuff online and I agree with it that most CD's are straight males. Im not sure how to classify myself though. Im trying to convice myself that I am BI. The urge is strongest while dressed.

Is it ok to say that I would only call myself BI when I was dressed in something FEM? I know it sounds confusing. When Im not dressed, I can't help but think about girls and I have no interest in abything else. But when I AM dressed, I really want to fufill my fantasy. And, most likely, the only way Id ever hook up with a guy would be in a dressed situation.

Thanks for reading my rant. Anyone have any insight?

:daydreaming:

[Lynn Marie]

Sounds perfectly normal to me. Even dressed, I'm pretty partial to the fairer sex, but it's also quite exciting to have the boys interested too.

[Karren H]

Ahhhh. The short answer is no... Crossdressing dictates nothing other than you like to wear clothing of the opposite sex... Sexuality I'd totally independent and apparently flexible... Since you can change teams when ever you want... Or when ever you change clothes? Lol.

[kimdl93]

Have to go with no. Sometimes CDrs, and other hetero males, entertain fantasies of encounters with males, but there's a big difference between fantasies and reality. Having some bi expereinces in the past, I can confirm Karren's observation, that they occurred independent of of fem attire.

[TGMarla]

I'll agree with Karren here. You may have some fantasy about being "taken" as a new bride on her wedding night, but uh...you don't have new bride plumbing, and I'd imagine the actual experience would not be the same that a bride would experience on her wedding night.

[ArleneRaquel]

Dressed drab I'm heterosexual, enfemme I'm not. Just weird I guess.

[BridalBoy]

I'll agree with Karren here. You may have some fantasy about being "taken" as a new bride on her wedding night, but uh...you don't have new bride plumbing, and I'd imagine the actual experience would not be the same that a bride would experience on her wedding night.

True. But for me, that WOULD be my first BI experince, and playing bride would really make it feel the way a bride feels so special I dunno, jsut my thing I guess. I asked once of the woman who did my makeover how many guys that came to here were actually gay. She said not many. The majority were completly str8, a few were openly BI, but what got me thinking of this whole thing was that she said "ALOT are only with the opposite sex while dressed".I guess thats good enough for me. I look at it as I can have TWO dates on a Saturday night :-)

[AllieSF]

I also agree with Karren. You are straight, gay, Bi or Bi-curious, no matter how you dress. Now, you may decide to act on your Bi side when you dress and not when in guy mode.

[BridalBoy]

I also agree with Karren. You are straight, gay, Bi or Bi-curious, no matter how you dress. Now, you may decide to act on your Bi side when you dress and not when in guy mode.

Yeah, I don't think I could do without the influence from being dressed

[kimdl93]

Yeah, I don't think I could do without the influence from being dressed

well, if the only way you can entertain the idea of sex with a man, then honeslty, I would say that its simply a fantasy and should remain as such. Fantasies are fine, but evidently you're not sexually attracted to the male body. Ultimately, that would lead to a very unsatisfactory experience for you and a male partner.

[Karren H]

True. But for me, that WOULD be my first BI experince,

Ya now.... once the cat is out of the bag..... You can't put it back in... Or was that once you stuff the cat in the bag? Lol. Idk..... :)

[lmildcd]

In my case, I have no desire to be with a man when I put on women's clothes. I just do it sometimes to put me in a better mood.

[BridalBoy]

well, if the only way you can entertain the idea of sex with a man, then honeslty, I would say that its simply a fantasy and should remain as such. Fantasies are fine, but evidently you're not sexually attracted to the male body. Ultimately, that would lead to a very unsatisfactory experience for you and a male partner.

I guess what I would really need is an open minded DOM chick :-) HA! just kidding. It is a fantasy, yes. And, Ill say that I AM attracted enough to the male body to be willing to try it. I kinda want to go for it. I mean, I might like it! Never been with guy to that level before. Before I was married I petted and stuff for a little ( I played in the minors, but never went pro! )....If the partner is into me as a bride and wants to do it, I think I should at least try it.

[xristy]

The thing that people often misunderstand is gender identity and sexual orientation.

Gender identity is more or less how you see yourself and want to display yourself to others.

Sexual orientation is more or less what you are attracted too and want to have sex with.

So by CDing, you are playing around with gender identity. So if you are a straight male that is very attracted to women, putting on clothes really shouldn't change your sexual orientation. It is really only playing with your gender idendity. However, if you have certain feelings that you are surpressing, when you get dressed, you might be letting those feelings come to the surface.

[BridalBoy]

The thing that people often misunderstand is gender identity and sexual orientation.

Gender identity is more or less how you see yourself and want to display yourself to others.

Sexual orientation is more or less what you are attracted too and want to have sex with.

So by CDing, you are playing around with gender identity. So if you are a straight male that is very attracted to women, putting on clothes really shouldn't change your sexual orientation. It is really only playing with your gender idendity. However, if you have certain feelings that you are surpressing, when you get dressed, you might be letting those feelings come to the surface.

Yeah. I do not think (especially now) that I would have a problem saying that I condider myself Bi-Curious. There, I said it! Im Bi-Curious, with a side order of CD. HA! Ahhh, thats better.

Hmm, now that I have read some of these threads, I realize I knew the answer before hand, Im Bi-Curious...and that I totally worded the question wrong. I Should not have asked "am I BI because I like to dress?" I should have asked would playing BRIDE be fun for my first time :-) Thank you all. I really do feel good about this now (went and put on my gown too!)

[AllieSF]

You are an adult, you know the consequences of most of your actions and decisions that you make on a daily basis, whether big or small actions and decisions. If you are Bi-curious, I see no reason not to experiment with that, unless you are in a committed relationship. Then the other party needs to know and you should refrain from "straying" and experimenting until you are free again. There is nothing at all wrong with experimenting. Think of it as taking a new expensive sports car for a ride before making the big investment. You may like it, may dislike it, or maybe need a few more test drives before finally deciding.

[VioletJourney]

Being a CD has opened me up to the idea of being bi, but I've decided that I'm pretty much straight and thoughts I have about men are mostly just like a fetish. I could never go out with a guy or love one like I would a girl.

[BridalBoy]

You are an adult, you know the consequences of most of your actions and decisions that you make on a daily basis, whether big or small actions and decisions. If you are Bi-curious, I see no reason not to experiment with that, unless you are in a committed relationship. Then the other party needs to know and you should refrain from "straying" and experimenting until you are free again. There is nothing at all wrong with experimenting. Think of it as taking a new expensive sports car for a ride before making the big investment. You may like it, may dislike it, or maybe need a few more test drives before finally deciding.

Excellent post! And yes, I am free to experiment now. I am recently divorced. The CD-ing was only a small peice of what was wrong in that relationship. With your words, Im going to go for it.

[AllieSF]

Now please do not come back here in another thread and blame it all on me! Good luck and enjoy. You may just be surprised what you find out about the physical part and about you.

[BridalBoy]

Now please do not come back here in another thread and blame it all on me! Good luck and enjoy. You may just be surprised what you find out about the physical part and about you.

No no! never. There's only two things (well, three) that can happen...1: I HATE it, 2: I LIKED it 3: I even liked it NOT dressed. I am hoping for 2 and 3 :-)

[xristy]

Sounds like you may already know the answer....

[AllieSF]

Just don't catch any unwanted thing that then becomes "thing" number 4!

[Marlana]

Excellent thread Bridalboy. I've often wondered the same thing. I would probably like it better dressed femm though. But it's just a fantasy for now. Maybe someday, I find out for sure.

[kellycan27]

Give it a shot.. It's only sex and it washes off. Do it safely.

[xristy]

If you want to try it and don't, you will only regret it later...

[BridalBoy]

If you want to try it and don't, you will only regret it later...

Ding...Ding...Ding!!!!!!

[Aprilrain]

In my case, I have no desire to be with a man when I put on women's clothes. I just do it sometimes to put me in a better mood.

you have no desire to be with a man dressed but you "just do it" (MEN) to put you in a better mood??? HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Bridalboy I think you know your sexuality but years of male conditioning and institutionalized homophobia are very difficult to get over. when I started my transition I also admitted to myself that I liked men. Of course I'd know this for years but denial is intensely powerful stuff! I searched and online dated for months and the most unlikely guy came in to my life. He's a sweetie! On a practical note if you have never had sex with a man before you might want to Uhhhhhh....... "practice" before hand just sayin!

[DeniseNJ]

I agree with the OP but to a point, I feel the same, I am only attracted to the feminine image,i n guy mode. Seeing a guy does nothing for me, no arousal at all. Now when I dress and feel feminine I still am not attracted to the guy image but find it erotic to be with another Cd and want to be the female as far as sex goes wanting to try and please as only a woman can. I never experienced that but I think the day will come for me. hey!! I might not like it , but then I might love it. Yes I think dressing can alter the way we look at life

[DonniDarkness]

Give it a shot.. It's only sex and it washes off. Do it safely. Just awesome! Great advice Mrs Kelly

Bridal Boy: Like what you like. <---- (Thats a period.)

There are many fantasies out there, and many people find them fulfilling. Just be smart and safe, and you'll have fun

-Donni-