A first - shopping with my daughter

[Kathi Lake]

I have alluded to it in the past; My daughter knows and seems pretty happy that her dad is a little different. It started small - I would do her makeup and hair for a ballet recital (and watch the other moms mouths gape :)), I taught her to walk in heels at age 9 by taking her to DSW where we found pairs that fit us both and had a ball, I would take her shopping and find the cutest stuff. You know, just girly stuff. Finally one day, I was wearing my guy's skinny jeans and a guy's sweater, heading off to work one day and she kinda squealed, hugged me, and said, "You look so cute and girly!" That was followed by some probing questions, some explanations, and reinforcement from her that she had no problems with it.

Fast-forward a year or so. We have had a few girly days at home, and I did take her dressed to DSW once, but today was our first girly shopping trip. I let her help pick out my outfit. She must have picked up a bit of my taste in clothing, because she chose one of my favorite tops, dark skinny jeans, and a black shrug. I added the pearls and some flats and the outfit was complete.

We slept in a bit as she had the day off from school. I did my makeup as she was getting dressed and having breakfast. I went with my usual understated (OK, call a spade a spade - boring) makeup, brushed out my wig, spritzed a bit of my current favorite perfume (Pure by DKNY) and we were off.

Our first stop was the new Ulta where many of my old friends (and some great new ones!) now work. I chatted with a woman that is so familiar to me that I just know that I have seen somewhere else. She had a huge smile, so I'm sure she knows exactly where she knows me from, she was just making me squirm. It'll come to me. Anyway, my friend came in and almost passed me by, asking if I needed help. I turned towards her and her eyes brightened. She said, "I wondered if that were you. There's not that many tall, skinny, gorgeous brunettes in Utah - especially with a butt that makes me wish I had skipped the last few breakfasts." I gave her a hug and introduced my daughter to her. We chatted for awhile about some pictures she had just taken. She said, "I just had some bourgeois pictures done." I asked her what she meant, and she said that she was wearing nothing but her last triathlon medal. I smiled inside, told myself not to correct her (it's boudoir pictures :)), and asked her if she was nervous. She agreed that it was hard, but she wanted to do something nice for her husband.

She then took us over to introduce us to a charming red-haired British woman. And when I say red, I don't mean a color found in nature. I mean Coca-Cola red. On her, it looked incredible! My friend asked us what we were doing. I said, "Oh, you know; Scientists have said that it is important for fathers and daughters to have proper bonding times, and during those times to do the things that daughters enjoy. Well, she likes to get dressed up and go shopping. Who am I to argue with science?" They laughed, and we talked some more. The red-head asked me how I got my fantastic shape. Before I could answer with my usual self-deprecating comment, my friend broke in with, "You'd think he starved himself, but he has a freaky metabolism or something. Yeah. Eats anything and she doesn't gain a pound." Red said that that just wasn't right, and that her boyfriend was 6' 1" and was about as skinny as me. She said he sometimes stole her skinny jeans, but since her butt was so big, they were kinda baggy. She asked what kind of jeans I had since they fit me so well. I told her they were Silvers. We then talked about our favorite jeans, and where to get them, and more girl-chat for a bit since the store was very slow.

Seeing that my daughter was bored, the girls took her over and made her feel like she was center-stage, showing her some cute makeup, letting her try perfumes, etc. It was nice for her to feel special, and I thanked them for having fun with us. They said makeup was fun or they wouldn't be doing this. I agreed that makeup was indeed a blast, and I was sure that my daughter was going to have fun with it in the future. They both turned to her and said, "You are so lucky to have a dad that understands all of this stuff and has so much fun. That's rare." She shyly agreed.

They then asked us what we were shopping for. I told them of some cute tan cords I saw at WH|BM. Red said, "You are so cool! Do you and your wife share clothes? I told her that we could share tops - usually women's small or medium. "I'm sure" she said, "You're a tiny little thing!" but we were different sizes for pants and skirts. She asked, "What are you, like a 2?" My friend broke in, "Heck no! He's a 0 or a 00!" Red looked amazed. "Yeah. Annoying, isn't it?" my friend added. Red said, "You know, I don't usually hate people when I first meet them, but in your case, I'll make an exception." We laughed and I explained that no hips equalled a zero, and no butt equalled another zero, so the size made perfect sense.

Well, I had had a wonderful time introducing my daughter to friends, but it was time to get shopping. There was clothes to be tried on, and shoes to be worn. We left with a promise to return later to show them what we found. I'll go forward with that in my next post.

Kathi

[JenniferLynn0370]

Oh my gosh Kathi; what a fantastic day; congratulations!!! What a great, great day!

[Kathi Lake]

We went from Ulta to White House | Black Market. I walked in, hand-in-hand with my daughter, and the manager met me at the front of the store. "Well, who do we have here today?" I introduced her to my daughter, and said that I thought she should meet a future good customer at her store. She welcomed her and said, "You're tall, aren't you? You look like you'll be borrowing your daddy's stuff pretty soon, and trust me - he has some really cute stuff. Trust me, I know!" She then asked me what I was looking for. I told them of a plaid skirt in a khaki/black/red mix, but they were out. I also said I was looking for the tan cords. She smiled and said "We just got some more in today, also in plum and black." We found the pants, and she pulled a 00 and a 0 saying that these should fit nicely. We then went looking for more cute stuff. She showed me a gorgeous longer windowpane pencil skirt, and a new stretchy black pencil skirt. She said this new hemline in all the skirts came courtesy of Mad Men, and their influence on today's fashions. I said I didn't mind as the clothes were cute and classy, with just a hint of sexy, rather then more obvious attempts at sexy/trashy. As she is older than me (a rarity!), she agreed. We found a few more cute things - tops, pants, dresses, boots, etc. and she started a room - my usual, the big one in the corner. She brought a chair around for my daughter, and got her a bottle of water, saying with a smile, "This may take awhile. Your dad really, really likes to try on and wear pretty clothes. He always looks fantastic, and we love to watch, so have fun!" She then took me to the room and said, I have all the 00's on the left peg and all the 0's on the right.

I first tried on the 00 cords. Too small. I tried the 0's on, and they fit well, but they were kind of form-fitting. I walked outside, and asked my daughter what she thought. She smiled and said they were really cute. The manager and another woman came over to see how they worked. They said they were perfect. I said they were a little tight, and asked for a 2 - just to see. The manager gave me a knowing smile, and went to get them. The new lady, Jill, said that the cords did stretch a bit, and that these fit me wonderfully. I thanked her and went in to try on the 2's. As usual, they were right. The 2's were bunchy and just didn't feel right. You think I'd learn that these women do this every day, and not only know their clothes, but their customers as well.

I went back into the dressing room, and emerged wearing the windowpane skirt. It had hints of deep blue in it, with a high waist and cute buttons on the top. I tried it on with the knee-length boots that were supposed to be stretchy and calf-hugging. Well, maybe on a normal person. On my pencil-legs, there was about a one-inch gap between the boot and my calf. Well, I walked out onto the tile, and the women came on back. My daughter said she liked it, but I could tell that she may have liked it, but she didn't like it. I felt the same. The manager said she had already bought that skirt, and it had just come in today. She said it fit me beautifully, and knew of a few tops she had already sold me that would look great with it. I then went into try the next skirt. It was a gray flannel tweed, had ruffles on the back, and was actually pretty cute, but was similar to two I already had. The black one was next. My daughter really liked this one, and I did as well. It would look incredible with tights and cute boots. When I came out this time, my daughter wasn't there. I called out for her, and she clicked over in a pair of heels from the display table. She said, "Look, I'm tall!" and came over to the mirror and gave me a side hug. I loved looking in the mirror and seeing my beautiful daughter, thinking of the gorgeous woman she will become - one day much, much too soon.

I next tried on a color block dress in black, tan, and white. It did look cute on we all agreed, but I don't wear dresses that often. I handed it and a few other things to my daughter and said, "Put these on the 'No' rack." She looked confused, so I told her, It's the rack behind the shoes" and changed into a pair of stretch pants and a cute gray and white tunic. I've always loved the long over lean look as I am both lean (OK, emaciated), and long. I slipped back into the boots. I really wanted to like them more, but they were just kind of basic boots. Still, when I clicked out the door, everyone gave me an "oohhhh." My daughter said, "I would totally wear that!" The manager said that it was a perfect combo. A lady came over (trying the color block dress that I just had on) saying that I looked amazing, and that I reminded her of her sister, saying, "I got the brains, but she got the hot body." I told her the dress looked cute on her, but was a bit bunchy. She asked if she should really go a size smaller and I said definitely. The manager agreed, saying, "He's right, and he does know his stuff."

The manager asked me what I thought of the top. I kind of frowned. She said, "You don't love it. I can tell. What's wrong?" I said that I really loved the sleeves. They were a kind of a half-dolman - the sleeves were generously-cut near the shoulder, but tapered so that from the elbows down, they were snug. The problem? It had one of those bunchy cowl necks. I just can never get them looking the way I think they should look. She agreed that it was a challenge. I returned to the dressing room and took the stretch pants and top off and changed back into the cords and my top and shrug. I came outside and the lady was there at the mirror. The smaller dress looked fabulous on her, and I told her as much. She thanked me and we discussed shoes that she could wear with it, how she could dress it up or down, etc. - the manager looking on with a smile. She asked me if I was done trying on stuff so soon (it was only 45 minutes or so, so a bit under my normal time :)). I told her that I was getting the cords right now, and in fact was going to wear them out of the store. On the way back to the dressing room to collect my stuff, I saw a cute little pair of booties on the display table. The manager saw them catch my eye and said, "I saw that look. I'll be right back!" She came back with them in a size 10. I sat down, and my daughter sat in my lap. I said, "Ummm, it's gonna be hard to try on shoes with you sitting here." She said, "Oh, I know you can do it." I told the twerp to move and sit next to me as the chair was empty. She sighed dramatically (I'm sure I'd better get used to that!) and moved over. I took off the knee-length boots and tried on the booties. Cute, but a little plain. Ah well.

We went to the register where the new lady said, "Oh, those pants look so cute on you. Great choice! I love when people wear things out of the store." I agreed that they were cute, and they were so comfy that they should hold up for some serious shopping. I paid for my pants, asking about Michelle - one of my all-time favorite SA's. She was at a wedding in Boston. I asked about her baby, as he would be about 9 months, and the manager agreed he was cute and growing fast. I then helped my daughter put away the shoe mess at the display table. Hey, as long as she was having fun. At least she had something to do. Last time I took Sue, all she had to do was walk around the store. :)

Well, it is approaching midnight here. Time for me to get some sleep. It was a long, fun day. More tomorrow!

Kathi

p.s. - forgot a picture. Here is a picture of my new pants. Sorry for the bad quality (and the bad subject), it was taken by my daughter with my cell phone.


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[shayleetv]

What a neat story, I'm so glad you shared it with us. Your adventures are filled with fun and excitement and I always look forward to the next installment. Your daughter is something special to want to share this part of your life. Keep it up, Shaylee!

[Cynthia Anne]

WOW!!! Another great and beautiful story by the beautiful Kathi Lake! Thank you for brightening my day! Hugs!:)

[StaceyJane]

Such a wonderful story.

[insearchofme]

What a cool story! Glad you and your daughter had such a neat time.

[Edwina]

Lovely x 3, you, your daughter and your story.
I often wonder what my daughter and now mother of three teenage daughters, would think about me if she knew. It is probably for the best that she and her family emigrated before I became seriously involved in my own dressing.:D

[rachaelsloane]

Kathi,
What a great memorable day you had. BTW, you look sooo happy in the picture.
Rachael

[Tina B.]

Very cool, very Kathi!
Tina B.

[kimdl93]

what a great way to spend the day with your daughter! She's going to grow up into such an open-minded and tolerant person, with incredible fashion sense!

[Sara Jessica]

What a sweet story Kathi!!! :)

You know I love reading about interactions such as this because it makes me dream. The "what-if" my little girls someday were to know this part of me. But going out takes things to another level which brings to mind one of my concerns (or perhaps better said, one of my personal "issues").

When going out, I can really give a hoot if I'm read as being TG. My only goal is that when others do so, they might say "well she's pulling it off pretty well". And when out with TG friends, the same thing. No pressure, just "being". But a strange thing happens when I'm out with a natal female, my buddy Diana for instance. I find myself feeling a little bit more pressure and when I'm read, I feel less of a woman for it. Seriously, it's like I'm somehow letting her down. I confessed this feeling to her one time and of course she replied that I'm being silly. But this is likely one reason that if my wife came to me tomorrow and said "let's go out together", I'd have some serious pause. I think it'd be very similar with my daughters. Clearly something I need to get over but like I said, tales like yours both inspire and make me think...even if it's a little too much.

[S. Lisa Smith]

What a great adventure! I'm glad you and your daughter had a wonderful time and that you shared it with us!!

[feeps]

Sounds like you had a great day with her :) Amazing story, thank you for sharing!

[MissMarcie]

Wow, I’m not sure how I should respond to this post, so I’ll just be honest, even though I know I’ll definitely take heat for my response. There’s a part of me that thinks - This is such a darling and cute experience to share with your daughter. And it’s so sweet and wonderful that she’s so accepting, and you can venture out together in public as Mother & Daughter.
Then there’s the more logical common sense side of me that thinks - WTF are you thinking taking your daughter shopping while dressed and involving her in your CD-ing? This experience sounds very kinky and wrong on several different levels, and at the very least will leave a lasting psychological impact on your daughter. I guess that could be good or bad, depending on how you want to be viewed in your daughter’s eyes.
At the end of the day, I think I’ll file this under - different strokes for different folks and leave it at that.

(just so there's no confusion)
This is my intended use of the work "kinky"
kinky - strikingly unconventional
far-out, offbeat, quirky, way-out
unconventional - not conventional or conformist

[Sara Jessica]

This experience sounds very kinky and wrong on several different levels....

Perhaps a good question for Kathi to answer ruined by suggesting this is kinky in any way, shape or form. Maybe your take on the TG experience is a kink to you but it's actually kind of offending to project such kink onto others where you clearly don't know their POV.

[MissMarcie]

Perhaps a good question for Kathi to answer ruined by suggesting this is kinky in any way, shape or form. Maybe your take on the TG experience is a kink to you but it's actually kind of offending to project such kink onto others where you clearly don't know their POV.

By "kinky" I certainly don't mean to implicate anything sexual at all. So, no offense intended in that area. This is strictly "my" opinion and perhaps the opinion of what the non-cd-ing public might think. I don't ask for nor do I expect agreement with my opinion (as I've already said). I know the overwhelming majority here, will have the "you go, girl" opinion. But there are different viewpoints. enough said.

[Sara Jessica]

By "kinky" I certainly don't mean to implicate anything sexual at all. So, no offense intended in that area. This is strictly "my" opinion and perhaps the opinion of what the non-cd-ing public might think. I don't ask for nor do I expect agreement with my opinion (as I've already said). I know the overwhelming majority here, will have the "you go, girl" opinion. But there are different viewpoints. enough said.

Like I said, I think you had a valid point hidden under the "kinky" remark. Although you might not have meant to implicate anything sexual, I take the word for what it means to me and offer this definition (source, dictionary.com)...

marked by unconventional sexual preferences or behavior, as fetishism, sadomasochism, or the like

...which is why I pointed it out.

I don't think the Muggles would necessarily read anything "kinky" into Kathi's presentation, whether with or without her daughter present, just as I don't think many of us in these pages would be perceived that way when out and about. If I'm wrong, call me naive. Now if Kathi was out there in her micro mini, fishnets and 7" platform heels, with her daughter in tow, then yeah, one could surmise something potentially inappropriatesville going on.

I guess I jumped on this because I can easily project this scenario onto my own situation where like Kathi's, my girls would relate to me as their parent and as a human being. This isn't about "you go girl". Rather, it's about relationships and honesty.

[Kathi Lake]

To me, the word 'kinky' has sexual connotations. My dressing, however certainly does not. Sure, it did in my teenage years. Now, however, the only feeling I get from dressing is one of relaxation, satisfaction, and normality. So, if you view dressing as impure and kinky, I could certainly see it your way. If I saw dressing that way, I never would have taken her out with me - much less even let her know of this life.

Kathi

p.s. I will get back to posting in a bit. I had a third section all ready to go. I was, of course, already logged out. I logged back in to post it, and I was met with a blank screen. Words gone. Sigh. It used to work. :)

[MissMarcie]

Like I said, I think you had a valid point hidden under the "kinky" remark. Although you might not have meant to implicate anything sexual, I take the word for what it means to me and offer this definition (source, dictionary.com)...

marked by unconventional sexual preferences or behavior, as fetishism, sadomasochism, or the like

...which is why I pointed it out.

I don't think the Muggles would necessarily read anything "kinky" into Kathi's presentation, whether with or without her daughter present, just as I don't think many of us in these pages would be perceived that way when out and about. If I'm wrong, call me naive. Now if Kathi was out there in her micro mini, fishnets and 7" platform heels, with her daughter in tow, then yeah, one could surmise something potentially inappropriatesville going on.

I guess I jumped on this because I can easily project this scenario onto my own situation where like Kathi's, my girls would relate to me as their parent and as a human being. This isn't about "you go girl". Rather, it's about relationships and honesty.

Yours is one interpretation of the word, so is mine. I probably should have used the word "bizarre" or "weird".
Whatever, the point is still valid.

[Kathi Lake]

I noticed that you have been lurking in this post, just waiting for a reply. Well, you can stop salivating for attention, because here it is:


Yours is one interpretation of the word, so is mine. I probably should have used the word "bizarre" or "weird".
Whatever, the point is still valid.You said exactly what you meant. You knew the normal uses of the word 'kinky' and knew what effect it would have. You showed in a previous post, by listing alternatives, that you certainly knew other words that weren't nearly as hurtful or as attention-grabbing, yet you chose to use that word. Thanks very much for showing your true colors as the hurtful person that you are.

That you find what I did weird or bizarre I can handle (I mean, I find forced feminization pretty weird, bizarre, and kinky, but did I say it in your post? No. I didn't). I can understand and handle disagreements, but I do draw the line at name-calling. Please refrain from posting again in here (and in personal messages). Your opinion in this matter has been noted, and is not wanted.

Thanks.

[MissMarcie]

I noticed that you have been lurking in this post, just waiting for a reply. Well, you can stop salivating for attention, because here it is:
You said exactly what you meant. You knew the normal uses of the word 'kinky' and knew what affect it would have. You showed in a previous post, by listing alternatives, that you certainly knew other words that weren't nearly as hurtful or as attention-grabbing, yet you chose to use that word. Thanks very much for showing your true colors as the hurtful person that you are.
I explained what I meant. If you choose not to accept my explanation, that's fine, I can handle that.
Like I said, I knew I'd catch heat for my post.

That you find what I did weird or bizarre I can handle (I mean, I find forced feminization pretty weird, bizarre, and kinky, but did I say it in your post? No. I didn't). I can understand and handle disagreements, but I do draw the line at name-calling. Please refrain from posting again in here (and in personal messages). Your opinion in this matter has been noted, and is not wanted.
Thanks.
There are many facets to crossdressing. We don't all have to approve of or accept them. But we are entitled to do whatever we wish, as long as it's not illegal.
My own personal line is drawn at involving my children or any other children in any way, shape, or form in my activities. But, hey, that's just me.
Again, my opinion is my opinion - nothing more or less.



Please refrain from posting again in here (and in personal messages). Your opinion in this matter has been noted, and is not wanted.

We may disagree, but my opinion is as valid as any other member of this forum. And, I fail to see a sign up sheet to be allowed to post in a specific threads.

[PretzelGirl]

I was going to hit the hay 15 minutes ago and then I saw a Kathi post! :battingeyelashes:

I have to say, I am a little surprised and happy for you that you have reached the level of this interaction with your daughter (out and dressed). I knew about nails, hair, and make-up; but this is very nice. And still a part 3 to go! So is she going to learn the famous "Kathi spin" at the mirrors? She'll have a room setup in no time.

And there certainly is nothing wrong with having loads of time to walk around a WH/BM.:daydreaming:

[Phylis Nicole Schuyler]

Great story and Your picture is great. Wish I could look that good.

[Kathi Lake]

Okay! We now return you to the regularly-scheduled programming:



So is she going to learn the famous "Kathi spin" at the mirrors?She sure saw me at the mirrors enough. Do I really spin? :)

She did love the mirrors there (who wouldn't?), and wanted the tall one in her room. I told her that that mirror was about five feet too tall for her room, but we would work on maybe a mirror for her closet door or something.

Earlier, I had an entire post ready to go. I had copied it all near the end, just in case. I hit Reply, and was confronted with a blank screen. For some reason, after I logged in and hit paste, instead of the metric oodles of narcissism and self-importance that the post was, it ended up being all of the "browse crossdressers by state" text at the bottom of the window. As a result, this post will be shorter than the one it replaced. You're welcome. :)

So, we left White House | Black Market with a bag containing the jeans I had worn in. The cords felt so buttery-smooth and comfy that they might just be my new favorite pants. We drove on down to DSW to have some fun there. My daughter loves to try on shoes! (like father, like daughter. Right? :)). We walked in and the place was packed as it was lunchtime, and it seemed that every well-dressed office worker in the area decided to score some heels rather then food that day. My daughter and I went immediately back to the sale area. I decided to let her 'play' first, so we went to the size 5 area. It was mostly-deserted. I say mostly because size 5 is as small as they go in women's sizes. Right next to that, of course, is the men's section. There were two twentysomething men browsing for Chucks, it seemed. They excused themselves and let us pass. My daughter immediately found a pair of sparkly flats that she couldn't live without. They were cute, and only $9.00, so I quickly gave in. She then found one of the most hideous pair of shoes that I have seen - kind of a "Mary Ann meets Ginger" kind of shoe. It was a cork open-toed high wedge with fabric that could only be described as an ugly gingham plaid. Ick! I think she liked it only for the shock value. :)

After playing a bit more, and finding nothing else, we went to the size 10 area. There were two tall women there perusing the racks. They smiled at me and let us pass. I didn't find much there as things had been pretty much picked over. I was looking at a pair of flats when my daughter laughed and said, "Dad! You have to try these on!" At that, one of the women looked at me a bit closer, rolled her eyes, and went back to browsing. The other woman asked me if we were having some father/daughter time. I agreed, and she said, "I wish my husband would have fun and spend time with our daughter. I think you're precious!" I thanked her, but thought, "Did she really call me 'precious?! Anyway, I looked at the shoes my daughter was holding up. They were a beige patent pump that was literally about a seven-inch heel with a one-inch platform. What could I do? I tried them on. It was hilarious. I could actually see over the rack to the aisle next door. The lady who called me precious said, "Wow, you were tall already. With those shoes, you could date a basketball player!" :)

I put my flats back on, and we went toward the boots. The trend this year seems to be moving towards flatter riding-style boots. Cute, but not quite what I was looking for. I found a pair of Ralph Lauren knee-length boots that had about a 2.5 inch heel and two small buckles near the top. I tried them on and walked over to the full-length mirror, handing my purse off to my daughter. Not! Bad! I kinda liked them, but like the boots at WH|BM, instead of hugging my calves, there was about a 1-2 inch gap near the top. What's a freakishly-skinny girl have to do to find boots that fit around here? :)

As I was walking to the mirror, I had to wait for a lady wearing and looking at two different boots in the mirror. She saw me, smiled, and told me to go ahead as it was going to take her forever to decide. Midway through, I saw her eyes get a little bigger. As I stepped to the mirror, I saw her behind me looking me up and down. She then walked away shaking her head - but not in a bad way. It seemed more of a "Dang!" kind of way - at least, that's how I saw it. The boots were cute, and I tried them with my pants tucked and out. Out, they looked OK, but tucked they were a bit plain. I went back and told my daughter to look for some boots with a little detailing around the ankle. She called me over to a few different ones. One was near two women and a teenager. I overheard them trying to talk the teen into a certain (less sexy) pair. I told the girl that the lower one was totally cute and more versatile than the sexier one. It was funny, coming from me (and not her mom and friend) it seemed she listened to me more (sigh. Teenagers. What are you gonna do?) I caught the mother's eye after the teen turned away from me, and she mouthed a silent "Thank you!" I winked and went back to looking for that perfect pair of boots.

Sadly, none were to be found - at least not this day. Pity, but it was just as well as the siren song of the nearby Chick-fil-A was working its magic on my daughter. So we left the wonderful acre of pretty shoes and made our way to the car, hand in hand. We even skipped a little. Isn't it amazing what happiness shoes can provide? :)

My next post should wrap this puppy up, and I'll try to get that in tomorrow. Nite!

Kathi

[insearchofme]

What a wonderful father daughter adventure! You are so lucky and so is she!

[Kathi Lake]

Time for two quick pictures before I head off to work. Wow, it looks like I really need to get some Windex before I take any more shots in my bathroom. :)

Kathi



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[kimdl93]

Kathi, are you able to work en femm? I wasn't aware of that. You look great, by the way!

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi, are you able to work en femme?Ah. Perhaps I wasn't clear. I meant that I had time before going to work this morning to post some pictures of my previous day, not go to work dressed like that (Sigh. If only!).

:)

Kathi

[kimdl93]

I didn't think you'd wear the same outfit two days in a row!

[Kathi Lake]

Sorry, busy night last night. My one-hour conference call with our supplier lasted over three!

Let's pick up where we left off:

Chick-fil-A was yummy (as expected), and we made our way to The Gateway, an upscale outdoor mall in downtown Salt Lake. Our first stop was Justice, a preteen girl's favorite place. We walked in and were surrounded by moms and daughters. I did get a few odd looks, but for the most part, everyone treated us nicely - mostly because my daughter is a cute little twerp, and who could resist her?

Usually when we go in, we find something that is so cute we have to get it. Not this time, though. We wandered around the accessory area, looked around the store, and then left to go across the street to Ann Taylor. It was the last day of their 40% off sale, and I wanted to se if a skirt they had was still there. Right inside the doorway, my daughter found this horrible-looking vest. it looked like it was made of camel hair. She giggled, tried it on, and went looking for a mirror. I told her, "I'll save you the trouble. You look like you're wearing road kill. In fact, I think I just heard a vulture flapping." :)

A cute SA came by to see if we needed help. She was a heart-stoppingly beautiful tall woman in a heart-stoppingly beautiful outfit. Black stretch pants, cute tall pumps, a long-sleeved top and sweater. Sigh. Why can't I look like that?! Anyway, after my little jealousy moment, she asked me what we were looking for. I described the skirt (a beautiful watercolor knee-length in blues and browns). She said, "Ohhh! I bought that last week when it went on sale! Let's see if there are any left." We walked to the rear of the store, and there were about 6 ladies furiously looking through the clothes. They looked up at me and my daughter and went right back to flipping through the hangars. The SA went to the skirt rack and said, "Hey! Looks like we have two left! Oh, one is a 14, and the other one is a 10." She looked at me and said, "Shoot. I be you're a 0 or 2, right?" I agreed, and she said, "I'm so sorry. I took the last size 0." I told her that it was OK, and that I'm sure she looked incredible in it. She said, "I should give you my number. You could borrow it any time!" I laughed and thanked her and thought of the myriad ways I used to try to ask for girls' numbers. This method was not one of them, but I wonder if it should have been? :)

She asked us if we were looking for anything else. I mentioned how cute her shoes were. She asked my size, and told me to sit down. She came out with a 10 and a 10 1/2 (she said they ran a little small). I tried on the 10 1/2 first. She looked at the gap and said, "Nope. Let's go with the 10's. I tried on the 10's and they felt great. "Wow!" she said, "We wear the same size clothes and the same size shoes. We totally need to be girlfriends and share stuff!" I walked around a bit and she said, "Girl, you work those shoes like a pro! I wish my boyfriend could figure it out." I cocked my head to the side with a puzzled look and she said, "I'm going to dress him up as a girl for Halloween. He fits in my shoes, so we've been practicing for a week or two. We started with a low heel, and he did OK, but the shoes I want him to wear are 3 1/2 inch stilettos. He's going to be hot! Not as hot as you, of course. I did his makeup and hair the other night - he has the most gorgeous long hair, much prettier than mine - and he was freaking stunning. If I didn't already know he was a boy, I would never have guessed. It's no fair when your boyfriend is prettier than you!" I told her that she was gorgeous, and to make sure that her boyfriend practiced - a lot. I told her to go to the mall with him, and do a lot of walking. She laughed and told me that she would make sure he did.

Well, The shoes were a little painful. I asked her how hers felt. She paused and said that they were OK, but that her huge horse-feet were never really comfortable in anything but Nikes anyway. I told her that I loved the look, but I have had much more comfortable pumps. I guess it must've been the last they used, because Ann Taylor shoes never really fit me. She apologized, and said to make sure to let her know if she could help me find anything else. I told her to have fun at Halloween, and asked what she was going as. She said she was going as a sexy Elmo. I told her that that sounded interesting, and she said to come on back afterwards and she would have pictures. I told her that I definitely wanted to see how her boyfriend turned out. She smiled and said that she was planning on taking plenty of pictures, and maybe even some glamour shots of him. She said with a laugh, "You never know when you'll need some blackmail pictures, right?" She said goodbye to my daughter and to me, and we went next door to the Apple Store.

The Apple Store was busy, as it seems to be at all hours of the day. My daughter and I played with the photo app on the iPads (someone is going to see some very interesting pictures! :)), looked around the store, and then went near the front again. There was a young woman there buying a Mac when this toddler in a stroller started throwing a tantrum. We all looked over as he threw his juice on the floor. Mr. America was oblivious, checking ESPN on one of the computers. After about three minutes of this, he finally left. Ewwwww! His t-shirt ended about 8 inches above the waistline of his shorts. Unfortunately, the waistline of his shorts ended up about 8 inches below his crack. Eww, ick, and ewwww again! Then, we heard this huffing sound. A man was coming from the back of the store trying to hold back this huge dog on a leash. The dog sounded like he was about to cough up something. I turned to the woman buying the computer and all the people gathered around and said loudly, "My gosh, They'll let anyone into this store!" They looked at me and laughed. I'm glad the irony wasn't lost on them. :)

Well, we left the Apple store and wandered around Coldwater Creek and banana Republic, but other than a cute floral dress (size 10. Sigh), nothing was found. As I had promised to show the ladies at Ulta what I bought, we headed back there. We pulled in, and the store was much busier than the morning. I found my friend and Red. Red said, "Yay! You bought the cords! Let me see them." I walked over and she told me to turn around. She pantomimed a stabbing motion towards me and said, "Woman, you are going to put us girls out of business looking that good. Seriously, you said you had no butt this morning? All I can say is Damn, girl! Baby does so have back!" I laughed, thanked her, and said these pants felt and fit so good. She asked me again where I got them, and said she would definitely check them out. She asked my daughter is she had fun, and my daughter told her of all the shoes she had tried on and what we had done. Red asked my daughter what her favorite color was, and led her towards the eyeshadows. My friend said it looked like I had a good day with my daughter. I agreed, and said it had been wonderful. We chatted for awhile, and she noticed that my skin looked great, and that I had no shadow. I told her that the laser was going amazing. Red and my daughter had come back, and she was doing my daughter's eyes in pretty pinks and browns. She heard that and said, "You're getting laser? That's wonderful! I was going to say that your skin was gorgeous, and ask you your secret." I told her plenty of water and moisturizer. I then said to my friend, "I forgot to ask this morning, how did I do on my makeup?" She laughed, did a dramatic hair flip and said, "So, tell me how perfect and beautiful I am!" She said she was just kidding, and said, "I was going to say this morning that you looked flawless. Let's see, your eyes are excellent, Your foundation looks great, pretty lips. You can do my makeup anytime." Red agreed, and said "If it wasn't for the shape of your face and your hands, you'd look totally like a woman. Heck, you look like a woman, just kind of a masculine one. I have a friend that has almost your face, but she is gorgeous. Not that you're not! (backpedal much? :))

My friend said, "Kathi, . . . do you like Kathi when you're a girl?" I told her that it didn't really matter - use what was comfortable to her. "Every time you come in dressed, you look amazing. You really have no idea how jealous you make us feel, do you?" she said. I scoffed and told her that every woman in the store made me jealous, and that they looked incredible. She said, "Well guess what, you are a woman in this store, and you look just as incredible as any one of us. We love when you come in here - no matter how you're dressed. You are always too stinkin' nice, you care about us, you love makeup, you're a great friend, and you're the most real woman I know. Get it through your head, girl!" I smiled and said I'd try.

A chime dinged, and my friend said she needed to go up to the front register. I said I needed to get home and turn back into a pumpkin. She offered to let me change here, but I said my kids were not at home, and that I could change there, but thanks. She hugged my daughter and me, and went up to the front. Red said her goodbyes as well, saying she hoped she would see me a lot in the future. I told her that was a guarantee, and we left.

Driving home, I reflected on our day. My daughter and I sang along to the radio - badly off key, but with happiness. As we were nearing home, I asked her about our day, and if she had fun. She said it was great, and that she loved her flats. I told her that our trip wasn't about buying stuff, but the fun of being together. She agreed. I asked her what she thought of our trip. She said it was fun. I asked her what she thought about me being dressed. She said with a laugh it would have been weird to try on girl's clothes dressed as a boy. I agreed. I then asked her the same question I had the few times she had seen me dressed before, "What do you think when you see me dressed as a woman?" She paused for a moment and said "Nothing." "What do you mean?" I asked. She said, "I see you as a person. Just . . . a normal person." My only thought, other than wondering if my mascara was waterproof, was love for this incredible person. Ya know, I think I'll keep her!

:)

To close, I will add a picture of us at the end of the day before I put Kathi away (well, the clothing part, anyway). In deference to my daughter's age, I will block out her face. I am so glad that I have been blessed with a wonderful daughter!

Kathi


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[kimdl93]

That's such a great story. What I really admire is how honest and direct you are with your daughter and how maturely she's responded. So many positive experiences - seeing your interact with your friends, moving confidently among people, and being totally forthright about who you are. I think its absolutely wonderful!

[Kathi Lake]

. . . how honest and direct you are with your daughter and how maturely she's respondedmy kids constantly surprise me. As she is my youngest, and I've already been through this with my son, I guess I'm surprised that I'm surprised. :)

I guess she knows that I love her - no matter how I'm dressed.

Kathi

[Debglam]

What an absolutely lovely and uplifting story! This is how we are going to eventually have a society where people can simply be who they are!

I'm not out to my daughters yet but I can't wait!!! You should be very proud of her, and of yourself for being such a positive example to her!

Debby

[MissMarcie]

This is how we are going to eventually have a society where people can simply be who they are!

And when do you expect this sort of utopian society will exist ?

[Debglam]

And when do you expect this sort of utopian society will exist ?

I'm not clairvoyant but when harmless things like crossdressing or gender variance become demystified and de-stigmatized. When parents like Kathi and others simply live their lives as who they are and set an example for their children we are well on our way to doing this.

[AnitaH]

What a wonderful time for the both of you. We could use more parent-child bonding these days no matter how they are dressed. I'm so glad for the both of you.

I told my daughter about my dressing years ago. We have talked about it a few times but she has never actually seen me dressed. Maybe someday

AnitaH

[Kathi Lake]

I'm not out to my daughters yet but I can't wait!!!Debby, this process took the better part of a year - constantly feeling her out, and gauging her readiness at each step. I would never want to push this upon anyone, especially my children. However, she always seemed open and receptive, so I pressed forwards. You can do this as well, but always keep an attentive ear to both what they're saying and what they're not saying. Only you know your children, and will know if and when to let them into this part of your life.


We could use more parent-child bonding these days no matter how we are dressed.Definitely! I love spending time with my kids. It always has been, and always will be more precious to me than anything. As my wife is gone more than she is at home, it seems, my kids and I have spent a lot of time together (the poor things!). As a result, they have absorbed a bit of my sense of humor (again, the poor things!), and hopefully my love for life. My daughter and I do spend a lot of time together, as her brothers are 20 and 16, and already have their own lives and social circles. Who knows? Maybe if I spend enough time with her, she'll stop growing up so darn fast.

:)

Kathi

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Yay, a kathi thread! And we get to read the story of the daughter-telling! Yay!

Girl you look fantastic in those cords and you should listen to her when she said:


She said, "Well guess what, you are a woman in this store, and you look just as incredible as any one of us. We love when you come in here - no matter how you're dressed. You are always too stinkin' nice, you care about us, you love makeup, you're a great friend, and you're the most real woman I know. Get it through your head, girl!" I smiled and said I'd try.

Get it through your head, girl!

There are designers that make boots for skinny @#$@#$ that make the rest of us jealous, like you. Though mine are a touch narrower than average so I usually do have a small gap,,, but I am short, so it's not as bad.

http://www.duoboots.com/products/boots/detail/calf_fitted_boots/marta/1102/colour/1-black_leather/

And I'm happy Kathi-daughter found some cute shoes, though I am surprised she didn't start her own dressing room in WHBM. "Hey dad here's what I'll look like in a few years"

And finally in that last picture I thought, "there's a furry monster attacking Kathi-daughter" and then.."Oh, that's just a FREAKING HUGE CAT".

Veronica

[Kathi Lake]

Get it through your head, girl!But it's hard! I mean, the feelings I have had in life have been ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, accepted. Huh? Accepted? Talk about mental whiplash!


There are designers that make boots for . . .Oh my gosh! I just went to that website. They have 30cm calf widths! I could actually find boots that fit! Thanks, Veronica!!


"there's a furry monster attacking Kathi-daughter"Yes, that was my wife's graduation present. She has always wanted a Siamese. We got the little thing from a shelter nearby, and found out later it was actually a Himalayan. The cat is gorgeous, but dumb as a post. He'll let Kate carry him everywhere, nuzzling behind her ear. He was an adorable kitten. See:


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Kathi

[*Vanessa*]

Beautiful. Thank-you for sharing your experience Kathi was nice to take flight for a few minutes.

[Kathi Lake]

. . . was nice to take flight for a few minutes.A few? What are you, a speed-reader?!

:)

Kathi

[AnitaH]

Definitely! I love spending time with my kids. It always has been, and always will be more precious to me than anything. As my wife is gone more than she is at home, it seems, my kids and I have spent a lot of time together (the poor things!). As a result, they have absorbed a bit of my sense of humor (again, the poor things!), and hopefully my love for life. My daughter and I do spend a lot of time together, as her brothers are 20 and 16, and already have their own lives and social circles. Who knows? Maybe if I spend enough time with her, she'll stop growing up so darn fast.

:)

Kathi[/QUOTE]

Growing fast is what they seem to do best. Wish I knew how to slow mine down. I was a single parent for 15 years because of my daughter. Changed jobs even taking much lower pay and benifits to be able to spend time with her. Never regretted a minute of it. At 31 she recently got married and moved out. Still much too soon for me. I'm attempting to deal with another man being a part of her life. Enjoy your kids now while you can.

AnitaH

[Kathi Lake]

I was a single parent for 15 years because of my daughter. Changed jobs even taking much lower pay and benifits to be able to spend time with her. Never regretted a minute of it.Anita, what a wonderful thing to do. I'm sure that you felt that you weren't 'giving up' anything to be with your daughter. Instead, you and she were both richer for it, I'll bet.

I hope she was able to find a wonderful man and that she will be happy. I know that day is coming for me as well. Although not a gun owner presently, I'm open to purchasing one when my daughter gets closer to dating age.

:)

Kathi

[SherriePall]

Kathi -- What a wonderful story. It's great that your daughter is fine with your dressing.

[Shelby]

That was a wonderful story. While reading about your shopping trip, I kept wondering what your daughter was thinking. I'm glad you summed it up at the end. You have an awesome girl there. It is very brave of you to share this part of your life with her and it also shows how open-minded she is. Not that I wish to continue that old debate early on but I don't think this will cause any problems for your daughter but rather allow her to see the world in a much different way. There may be days ahead when she might feel strange about this (teen years have a way of shaping a mind) but I also think about what an amazing day the two of you had together. True it is a little unconventional but it showed how mature she is to be willing to be seen in public with you (not that there is any doubt that you pass) and god you are so skinney. I am curious as to how this could effect the relationship between her and her mother. Do they go shopping and if they do, does the same attention dished out to your wife as it is to you? Your daughter is getting quite the socialogy lesson.

Shelby

[Rogina B]

Great story! My daughter goes to the grocery store with me and will be ready for clothes shopping any time I ask...However,being married to a Spanish woman....Mom Knows Best !! LOl! I think our daughters will be far more accepting than most and I am not afraid of doing damage.

[Genifer Teal]

. . . my daughter laughed and said, "Dad! You have to try these on!" At that, one of the women looked at me a bit closer, rolled her eyes, and went back to browsing. . . .
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ROFL!!! Loved this part. I can only imagine how you felt. Doing your best to blend into the situation and probably feeling pretty good about it, then your own daughter blows your cover. :-) How cute. Seems like you had a great recovery with your further interactions there.

I loved all of your story. Especially that you did not apologize for a long post. Why bother, I'd just stop reading (if it is too long and I loose interest). Always wonder why people post that.

Gen

[DaphneGrey]

Hi Kathi, It has been a while, since I have read one of your posts. Its been a while since I read any actually. I just wanted to tell you that hearing about your time as Kathi with your daughter just made my heart melt! And thats a hard thing to do or so it seems these days. She sounds really special, and I am sure that has a lot to do with you being a terrific Dad and fantastic lady! Ok if I remember correctly your next post is going to be self deprecating and humble. This time just take a bow will you. You deserve it! It takes really special parents to raise a young girl in todays world to be so open, and accepting. Only by knowing who you are and owning who you are, using the parts of you that so many hide, connecting with your daughter in such a way. It was just beautiful to read. Thanks so much for sharing it.

I guess what some people just do not realize that when you are just being you its not an act. And when its not an act people see it and respond positively. Even children who are usually the first to know when their parents are not being real.

Oh and by the way You rock the 00n skinny cords! Get over it you have a figure to die for!

best
Daphne

[ReineD]

Kathi, I'm glad you had a nice day with your daughter. She's a cutie! :)

At first, not knowing her age and thinking she was adolescent, I couldn't figure out why she'd be so patient while you visited with your friends and tried on all the clothes. My niece, when she was 13-14, would have been bored unless the day was all about her! But, I see from the pic that she's young enough to enjoy tagging along for some one-on-one time together. But ... be prepared to have a much bigger cash outlay in a few years, and spend a lot more time in the young teen stores, with fashions that will cause you to shake your head in dismay! :heehee:

She is very fortunate to have a dad who will enjoy doing all these things with her. :hugs:

True to form though, I have a rather pragmatic question. Is your wife improving with her attitude? I thought she didn't want to know too much about the CDing. She's OK that you're doing things with your daughter dressed? Are things looking up?

[VeronicaMoonlit]

True to form though, I have a rather pragmatic question. Is your wife improving with her attitude? I thought she didn't want to know too much about the CDing. She's OK that you're doing things with your daughter dressed? Are things looking up?

Good questions, Reine, I forgot to ask them myself.

Veronica

[Kathi Lake]

Especially that you did not apologize for a long post.Gen, I guess I realized after seeing the comments on my posts or Freddy's posts that those that wanted to read such a lengthy post would, and those that did not wouldn't. So, enough apologizing. I write for my amusement, anyway. If they happen to get anything out of it, everybody wins.


. . . just made my heart melt! And thats a hard thing to do or so it seems these days.Daphne, I'm sorry to hear that! I hope you get back to a place of joy soon.

. . . if I remember correctly your next post is going to be self deprecating and humble.Shucks! Little ol' me? :)


... be prepared to have a much bigger cash outlay in a few years, and spend a lot more time in the young teen stores, with fashions that will cause you to shake your head in dismay!OH, I know. She is 11 right now, but her favorite store (Justice) still has some clothes that make me shake my head - in both a "I can't believe parents will let their daughters wear some of this stuff" way, and a "No, you certainly can not try that on!" way. :)


Is your wife improving with her attitude?Reine, I'll take your 'pragmatism' any day, as long as it is tempered by your usual thoughtfulness, concern and kindness! :)

Yes, it is looking up. I'm not sure if it is my son's impending date with Army boot camp (and her desire to get along as a family while we still can), or just her realization that the world has not ended due to the fact that I like to wear something different now and then. Her attitude has been improving as of late. Last night, for instance, I was on the couch reading with my legs stretched out and my socks off. She sat next to me, noticed that my feet were hairless, and stroked them for awhile, smiling and shaking her head. Maybe she's finally realizing that I am still the man she married?

Kathi

[Phylis Nicole Schuyler]

Anita, what a wonderful thing to do. I'm sure that you felt that you weren't 'giving up' anything to be with your daughter. Instead, you and she were both richer for it, I'll bet.

I hope she was able to find a wonderful man and that she will be happy. I know that day is coming for me as well. Although not a gun owner presently, I'm open to purchasing one when my daughter gets closer to dating age.

:)

Kathi

Kathi, you should join D.A.D.D. (Dads against daughters dating).

[SamanthaS]

Wow, what a cool story. I'd be afraid to dress in Utah.

[Kathi Lake]

I'd be afraid to dress in Utah.Yes, Vegas does have a bit more of an 'anything goes' vibe to it, but Utah isn't exactly the repository of unacceptance that I thought it was. Almost universally - every experience and every person - has treated me with at worst snide dismissal, but at best rock star treatment. Most people treat me as they would any other person. I have never felt unsafe. I have never felt unwelcome. It really does wonders for the confidence level.

So, make your way up to Utah! We're not that far.

:)

Kathi

[cassandra54]

that's amazing about you and your daughter. i think it makes the whole experience more honest and surely helps with your confidence. it is especially nice to see families that stay together. you certainly are a model for the rest of the world to show that we are all pretty much normal. your daughter is adorable, that cat is almost as big as her. lol
keep on keeping on girl

[Kathi Lake]

. . . it is especially nice to see families that stay together.
your daughter is adorable, that cat is almost as big as her.Well, the only source of friction in our marriage is me (sadly). As she seems to be doing better with it (for the time being, at least), I see smooth sailing for at least another 22 years. :)

Yes, my daughter does have the power to be adorable - when she chooses to be. Other times, she's a stubborn mule. As for the cat, yeah, we seem to do that to our animals. We have two gigantic cats, and a salamander that is so fat that you can't see his legs. Hmmmm, maybe we should cut down on the food a bit?

:)

Kathi

[Debglam]

OH, I know. She is 11 right now, but her favorite store (Justice) still has some clothes that make me shake my head - in both a "I can't believe parents will let their daughters wear some of this stuff" way, and a "No, you certainly can not try that on!" way. :)

Wait until she discovers Messr's Abercrombie & Fitch $$$! :Angry3:

I miss shopping with my much more grounded older daughter. Her and her girlfriends love vintage clothes and it was a lot more fun going to those stores than the teenybopper stores where the music is deafening and the clothes are way too revealing!

Debby

[Jessica86]

- WTF are you thinking taking your daughter shopping while dressed and involving her in your CD-ing?

She's thinking of being a good parent. Being honest in the first place to set up spending time together doing something they both love. If you are not honest with your kids, how can you even begin to expect they will be honest with you? Trying to keep my composure, but that tics me off that was said. I applaud people like Kathi for sharing their stories, inspiring people like me, who were struggling to see a future with what we struggle with every day. Thanks for the story Kathi, and I think it is a beautiful thing you have with your daughter.

[Kathi Lake]

Wait until she discovers Messr's Abercrombie & Fitch $$$!My son worked there for a bit. He's always been a snappy dresser. People always compliment him on his clothes. The funny thing? They're my old clothes from the 80's! Skinny knit ties, my favorite silk, wool, and angora sweaters, my blazer, my shoes. Heck, it's a wonder that he doesn't steal my underwear! :) Still, even with the employee discount, their prices are a bit extreme. When we want cute clothes at a bargain price, we go to a local consignment shop and can find great bargains there.


She's thinking of being a good parent. Being honest in the first place to set up spending time together doing something they both love.Thanks, Jessica. That's pretty much where I was going with it. Since my oldest found out by mistake, I wanted to make sure that my daughter knew pretty much from the outset. She knows that her dad is an odd doofus that loves her very, very much.

:)

Kathi

[brmacea]

Always love your stories, Kathi. This one is particularly great. Thanks for sharing.