Do you avoid guys when out?

[Cristi]

I never consciously thought about it before, but I was out dressed Monday (first time in a long time, woohoo!) and noticed that I'm perfectly comfortable among women, but tend to avoid guys (and places that would be mostly guys).

Thinking about it, I think it comes down to the fact that I have a feeling that guys would be more likely to be confrontational or judgmental. If I AM someplace like a supermarket with guys around, I keep a close eye on them to see how they react. I think a small part of me is on constant alert for the cry of "Hey, that's a guy in a dress!"

This all came to me when I was out because for the first time all three of the sales clerks I dealt with while shopping were men. I realized that I was more nervous at the checkout then usual and finally pinned the reason down.

The first one was at the MAC cosmetic counter in a Macy's store. He was a young guy who actually chatted with me for a moment and was very pleasant. The second was a checkout clerk at a pharmacy. He didn't treat me any differently than I would expect him to have if I hadn't been dressed, and even wished me a nice day as I left.

Finally, the cashier in the express lane of a supermarket. Same deal. No reaction different than any I'd seen by a woman. So maybe now I'll 'get over' my feeling of unease around guys a bit? I still don't think I'll be walking through any construction sites soon, but maybe it is one more concern that I can put to rest.

BTW: Had a great day out. All day shopping and driving in a crowded city, wearing a short skirt, V-neck blouse (with cleavage, I finally got it to work right!) pantyhose and a bit of jewelry. Not a single negative reaction all day. Just what I needed to regain some confidence after not being out for a few months!

[Eryn]

In a retail or restaurant situation I don't think that there is anything to worry about. The men in that situation wouldn't risk their job by offending you. Now if it is a masculine-oriented business I may be wrong, but I don't often have the urge to buy auto parts or get my machine work done en femme.

With other men, the possibility that you are actually a masculine-looking GG will likely keep them in line. The exception is when inhibitions have been lowered by drink or by being teen-aged.

I've always kept the fully outraged "Do you think it's the first time I've heard that, SIR?" at the ready, but I've never had to use it! :)

[Cynthia Anne]

Cristi! It sounds like you had a great day! I guess I'm a little like you! I still get a little nervous around guys and I've been out more times then I can count! I just feel more comfortable around women! Hugs!

[NathalieX66]

I overcame my fear of guys in public when I realized they really don't pay much attention.
i've discovered that quite a few, if not most, are very picky in what they want to see in their ideal image of p**sy.
If you don't qualify, the scrutiny is automatically turned off. Their eyes focus on something else. You're just another ugly girl. .....next?

And in my eyes, I'd rather be an ugly girl than just another dude. The magic word here is girl. :doll:

[susangirl]

It seems I try to avoid men also because they might think am a sissy. Hey, look at the sissy in that dress, stockings, heels and so on. Well I think they are correct, at least when I'm Susan. When I'm not Susan I wouldn't stand for being called a sissy. It's a little hard to get the two of us on the same page. Tonight I was coming out of the Kroger food store and the security guards had a little fun with me. Didn't bother me at all, sort of fun. You know I'm more uncomfortable around other men which are around the same economic status. This seems to give me the hardest time. I don't understand why I feel this way. Susan is Susan

[DanaR]

There's an excellent book called "The Gift of Fear", survival signals that protect us from violence, by Gavin DeBecker. Be aware of your surroundings and don't put yourself in compromising situations.

I've always been amazed at how many girls from our community walk around at night, where most women wouldn't be by themselves.

Even during the day, be careful.

[Vanessa Winters]

To be truthful I try to avoid everybody when I'm out dressed, the only time I interact with someone is when I'm checking out at a store.

[prene]

To be truthful I try to avoid everybody when I'm out dressed, the only time I interact with someone is when I'm checking out at a store.

I am just like Vanessa.

Only when I am getting a drink with other gg's or I am checking out at a store.
I have gone to a fast food place ..; at check out.

[kimdl93]

I generally don't avoid guys - they avoid me. Really, I suppose a tall guy dressed like a woman can be fairly intimidating to other guys.

[ArleneRaquel]

I avoid teenage males in a group. They can be so rude.

[Daphne Renee]

I work in a restaurant .. I can tell you I would not risk my job being rude to anyone.. (although the customers have been rude to me more than a time or 2) I would expect the same in retail.
I rarely ever go out but I understand how you feel though.

[Sophie86]

I was at a bar this past Friday by myself waiting for friends to show up, and found myself not wanting to make eye contact with guys. The bar is a welcoming place--there was a guy at the door handing out fliers for a Coming Out event. I just didn't want the embarrassment of having to field a pass. :o

[Karren H]

I don't avoid men.... There just aren't many (or any) hanging around the makeup stores or the women's departments....

[Cristi]

I don't avoid men.... There just aren't many (or any) hanging around the makeup stores or the women's departments....

Funny you should mention that. the first place I ran into a guy today was... at the makeup counter (MAC) in the Macy's at the mall.

It was a good encounter though. He was working the counter, putting some new inventory on the shelves, with a female employee when I asked for a new container of powder. The woman overheard and asked him if he had that one I wanted or if he wanted one of hers. As he was getting it out, I asked his advice on the color, telling him I was open to suggestions if he thought there was a better one for my skin color (I'd gotten that one at a min-makeover previously, but there isn't any harm getting confirmation that it is the right color for me).

He agreed that that color was the best for my skin, bagged the purchase, rang me up and thanked me. Perfectly polite the entire time.

If every interaction I ever had with the public could be like that, I'd dress every day!

Of course, you'd be inclined to think that a guy working at a cosmetic company would probably be more inclined to be accepting in the first place... but I've also heard many stories about MAC in particular being very welcoming to the CD community. This convinced me that it was true and I almost can't wait to run out of something else so I can go visit again (of course, with a side-trip to the Macy's women's department on the way through the store...)

[AllieSF]

I don't avoid anyone. Maybe after they meet me they will try to avoid me, because I always seem to have more questions than they do answers. I am always aware of my surroundings and have never had a problem and always had a great time.

[rebecca.cross2]

For the most part, yes, I do avoid guys. I try to stay private when I go out dressed.

[CarlaWestin]

I would prefer to only encounter women when out dressed. They just have that soft, compassionate and understanding elegance. I just adore women. Men can be pretty ignorant.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I try to avoid men generally, but it is mostly young men (teenage-mid 20s) that concern me.

[Sheila11]

I try to avoid men. They scare me. But I have had at least two wonderful experiences.

Young man at Payless shoes. I was looking at some cool high heeled boots and he told me he had bought one of the first pair that had showed up in the store.
Now he was going to build a holloween outfit around it.

Met a sweet guy at a Maurices. Mitch loves to help pick out clothes for me, tell me how good I look, and even let me stay after hours while he and another associate finished up. Stopped by there the other day and they were having a big sale and were totally mobbed. Mitch broke loose long enough to say HI and give me a big hug.
He took this pic of me and wanted to make suremy name showed on the door.

Men still scare me.

[Niya W]

I don't avoid anyone. Maybe after they meet me they will try to avoid me, because I always seem to have more questions than they do answers. I am always aware of my surroundings and have never had a problem and always had a great time.
Fills out an affidavit attesting to the fact that Allie does not avoid any one and will talk to any one. Even to the homeless guy in the dumpster. I use to avoid men not any more . Like Allie said be aware of your environment .

[Tasha McIntyre]

I try to avoid men generally, but it is mostly young men (teenage-mid 20s) that concern me.

I suppose that's me too, to a certain extent. Males on their own aren't a problem, it's only when in a pack they can try and impress their mates with a bit of neaderthal behaviour. I must add that I have never had a problem whilst out and about.

Tash :)

[Kate T]

Hell, I avoid guys when I'm out in male mode, let alone en femme!

[SheriM]

I try to avoid men when out in female mode. Would much rather deal with women.