Seeing a counsellor at my university, but i am unsure of myself

[Justwanttobeloved]

Hi, I have recently taken action to try and figure out my gender identity like two days ago I just walked in and saw a counselor at my university. I must say this is the first time I have ever told anyone I have issues with my gender identity and booked an appointment with their specialist in this area for next week. Since then I have been going through lots of emotions, happiness, fear, sadness, worry and shame. The emotions just keep coming, one moment I just want to talk about it right now and other moment I just want to keep to myself. Has anyone else had these emotional conflicts? Am i making since? I am the closest i have ever been to figuring or understanding what my gender identity is, i am scared and excited and scared again. This is normal right? am i over reacting?

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Try 43 years of it! Trisha would try to come out more and more until I finally the battle was so intense this last spring. Coming out and to terms with who I am gender wise was such a relief physically, mentally, and spiritually. My mood swings dissipated to once in a while and I have been much happier with myself. Be honest with your doctor and your self.

Hugs:hugs:

[pinto]

I think this normal for at least many of us. I am also scared, happy, sad etc. etc. Sometimes there is a feeling of guilt, shame the other day it is joy. I can understand your feelings quite well nevertheless their are other here that have found good ways to get along with their emotions. I will be expecting their explanations. Maybe there are ways to walk for us in order to get our feelings and emotions on a normal level again.

[Justwanttobeloved]

Thanks for the quick response i am just so new to this idea, two weeks ago i would not even think telling someone in person about this, and now a world of possibility has open up, it scares me. My parents are urber religious and very unkind towards the gay community and this causes me to be even more afraid. Along with losing a very kind friend over me wanting to figure out who i am. It is nice to know there is a community of support here. Thanks Trisha i will be honest with my doc.

[Justwanttobeloved]

thank you pinto for the response, it is nice to know this is normal-ish, and sorry about my first response it is off topic and i hope that can be forgiven, i just have not got to talk about this part of me before.

[pinto]

No problem. My experience is that it really is best to as open as you can be. There are many helpful sisters on this site and they can only give you good advices if you are honest and upright. The same with your doctor.

[Tina B.]

Of course you are thrilled at the thought of talking to someone, but scared of the unknown that you may discover, but there will never be a better time in your life to find all of this out. Just because you are out to the doctor, does not mean you have to tell your parents, not until you know what it is you need to know first. And of course around here, there is always people to talk with.
Tina B.

[Jorja]

I agree with Tina. Now is the time. So many of us keep our little secret buried for years and years. It affects everything from our work to our personal relationships. The purpose of therapy is to help you understand and come to terms with your problems. Don't worry your doctor will keep it all confidential. Be open and honest with them. You have no reason to tell anyone else yet. If and when that becomes necessary, you will know when the time comes. We are all here to listen and give our own experiences when you need us. I hope you can get it all worked out so you can enjoy life cause it is way to short to squander away feeling trapped.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Be honest and open. Yes you might discover some things about yourself that you have always suspected and may not have wanted to accept, but will eventually realize that's true. At least in my case I know I have.

[Barbra P]

I told my Dr. that I had a gender issue and she referred me to a Counselor. I spent two-hours with her and I held nothing back and toward the end she told me that she had never had a man come in and be so open and forthcoming and she felt like she was talking to another woman and it was a little disconcerting because what she saw sitting in front of her was a man. At the end of the two hours she said I needed to see a Therapist and made the referral. I have been the same with my Therapist, completely open and forthcoming. Your Counselor or Therapist can’t help you if you lie or hold back information and always remember that you are seeing them so they can help YOU.

The emotions you are feeling are quite normal and we all have those feelings even people who don’t have gender issues. Some of your emotions however are misplaced, like shame; you should not be feeling shame. Your therapy sessions will help you to deal with your emotions and hopefully you will soon stop feeling shame. As for some of your other emotions, the ones everyone experiences, therapy won’t make them go away but it should help you to accept that they are normal and help you to deal with them.

I was nervous going to my first therapy session but now I look forward to them and wish I could go more often. Don’t be too surprised if you are asked to talk about other things than your gender identity issue. Your Therapist is simply trying to see how your other emotions interact and effect or are affected by your gender identity issue.