Lipstick and stuffed lions

[tanyalynn51]

Yeah I know, it sounds strange, but it just sounds funny. And when something goes well for a change, I love funny. Anyway, I went to my therapist last week, and she tells me that I need to be more feminine on the outside, including experimenting with makeup. I know this may sound a little strange, except that I just started transitioning a year or so ago, although I am about to turn 53. I have never really played around even with makeup. I guess that being so deep in the closet as I was, it was the quickest way to get caught. Anyway, I had a couple of extra days off this week, and told her I would do it. Monday morning, I went to Walmart real early (Best place in the world to shop where there is almost no one there). I kind of snuck up on the makeup section, which was empty. I looked at the lipstick, and saw some stuff by Revlon, and picked out a color called Gothic. Except for a life- long fascination with vampires (Buffy rules!), I wouldnt have thought of that first. In fact, my therapist thought I might want to try something more subtle. As for me, if Im not going out anyway, I wonder what it would be like to carry the Goth theme a little. I think it goes back to the part of me that wishes I could have done this as a teenager. I do have a couple of Junior style outfits, and even something in black. I guess Ill see. Oh yeah the stuffed lion part- Ive always wanted a stuffed animal, but for some reason never let myself get one. While I was on a roll anyway, I went to that part of the store and saw a display of characters from the Lion King. I immediately had to grab one of Nala, Simba's mate. I named my cat after her, so it was great. I dont think my cat was very impressed when I showed it to her, though. She just rolled over and went back to sleep.

[Stephenie S]

You don't really need to wear makeup to be female. I wear no makeup at all. If you are uncomfortable with makeup application, you don't have to do it. There's no rule. Many, many, natal women share this feeling. Makeup? Who needs it? Do you HAVE to try and look like a model in a magazine? No. You don't have to.

You may find, however that you LIKE makeup. It's worth a try.

If you are unsure about this, call your local Mary Kay rep. She will come to your home or invite you into her's for a PRIVATE confidential session. Don't forget to buy SOMETHING, however. She works for her living.

S

[Melody Moore]

Hi Tanya, I am going to disagree with Stephanie slightly here and say that make up is a matter of personal choice.

I personally like wearing make up if I am going out,but the key is not over doing it and to make it look
like you are not wearing any make up. I don't like to end up looking like a drag queen for example.

As for style, I would go for a style that is more age appropriate that suits different types of occasions
but still gives you a fresh and young look. I was born in the 1960s and my teenage to adult era was in
1970s, so I seem to do well and get lots of compliments from other women about my flower-child style.
I also feel that this is the era I best connect with so I feel my dress style seems really natural for me.

[Stephenie S]

Gee, Melody. What was there in my post for you to disagree with?

You don't HAVE to wear makeup.

If you like to wear makeup then go ahead. I just said you don't HAVE to, right? Now I do wear lipstick, so does that count? And when I go out, like on a date (yeah, like I have a dating life), I might wear eye makeup also. What I meant was smearing that stuff all over your face. That I don't do. And MANY, MANY, other women don't do that either. Like I said, there's no rule.

S

[Katesback]

LOL I was thinking the same thing. What was there to disagree with. Melody are ya just wanting to disagree with anything whatsoever?

[Zenith]

Have your girlhood if you missed it. Completely normal.

Makeup makes anyone look great and it is our candy. But it can get $$$ and it's a pain in the ass every day. Plus if you wear a lot of it in the daytime you will not blend as a GG. I put on a bit of moisturizer, some clear powder, clear mascara, and a bit of Burt's Bees tinted lip balm. Takes me less that 5 min and looks very day to day. But have fun at night... :hugs:

Edit: Oh yah a little blush or bronzer can help with color some days...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

loved your story tanya, especially getting Nala...makes me want to get a stuffed animal..

when I was younger i slept with a football as my stuffed animal...:straightface:

[Frances]

I love make-up. I have been messing around with it since I was a little girl (ok... boy). My daily routine takes me about twenty minutes, and the funny thing is that people think I don't wear much make-up. I don't wear any one day a week or so.

I watch shows like What not to wear and have bought a bunch of books on the subject (Robert Jones' book was very useful). The cosmetics guy at the drugstore next to my work is full of great advice. Though my make-up is pretty intricate (I use three shades of foundation and three eye shadows), I do it in a very subtle way. That said, most women I work with do not wear any at all... ever. It is a personal thing.

[Melody Moore]

Damn talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, is all I said was... I am going to
disagree with Stephanie slightly here and say that make up is a matter of personal choice.
And this was in reply to the statement.. You don't really need to wear makeup to be female.

Of course you don't have to wear make up to be a female, but like others have said it is candy to a girl.

I wasn't in total disagreement, I simply had a slightly differing opinion got it?

[Katesback]

Melody the problem is that what Stephaine said corelates with what you feel. She said it is a choice and you somehow found that you disagree with that.




Damn talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, is all I said was... I am going to
disagree with Stephanie slightly here and say that make up is a matter of personal choice.
And this was in reply to the statement.. You don't really need to wear makeup to be female.

Of course you don't have to wear make up to be a female, but like others have said it is candy to a girl.

I wasn't in total disagreement, I simply had a slightly differing opinion got it?

[tanyalynn51]

Thanks for all of the replies, ladies. I have been thinking about it, and I think my therapist saw something that was already there. It isnt the first time that she has suggested I do something to make myself feel more feminine outwardly, and I have liked it. As to any controversy, anyone who has seen some of my occasional posts, Im not unknown to start some. I just appreciate the various viewpoints it showed here.

[chloe23]

I rarely wear any make up when i am at home or i have work to do around the house or yard. I see no need for it and i don't think it makes me feel less of a woman. If i am planning on going out and wearing a nice dress or skirt, i will wear some make up. I always want to look my best when going out.

[Melody Moore]

My main point was that make up is sometimes just part of being a woman, it's candy
to a girl like others have said, but in the case of a trans-woman, it can also be very
useful to breakdown masculine looking jaw-lines and also redefine the shape of your
face using make-up like bronzers, blush and lighteners. I have got my light day make
up to a stage now that it doesn't look like I am wearing any make up at all and the
smiles and compliments I get are always very positive and reaffirming. There are natal
girls I know who want me to show them how to do their make up. I am not sure if I can
do that, I have worked out what works for me, but will mostly likely not work for them.

Learning about make-up is by trial and error, but there are videos on you-tube that show
make up applications for day time and night-time wear giving different results and looks.
Find out what looks work best for you and don't be afraid to vary the colours to work in
with the colour of the clothing and jewellery you are planning to wear, or experiment with
new ideas because it really is lots of fun and worth the effort. It can do a lot for your
self confidence when others really take notice of you and pay you nice compliments. So
maybe this is why your therapist was encouraging you to start experimenting with make up.

[Kathryn Martin]

I love make-up. I have been messing around with it since I was a little girl (ok... boy). My daily routine takes me about twenty minutes, and the funny thing is that people think I don't wear much make-up. I don't wear any one day a week or so.

I wear make-up every day. It is part of my work "uniform" and it is understated and mainly consists of matte or light sparkle white eyeshadow, a very subtle liner underneath in the waterline, mascara, blush lipstick and under neath Vitamin C serum, moisturizer and clear powder. I am done in 7 minutes now. Morning routine in all takes 30 bed to ready to leave the house, unless I feel really iffy on what to wear.

[Kathryn Martin]

My main point was that make up is sometimes just part of being a woman, it's candy
to a girl like others have said, but in the case of a trans-woman, it can also be very
useful to breakdown masculine looking jaw-lines and also redefine the shape of your
face using make-up like bronzers, blush and lighteners. I have got my light day make
up to a stage now that it doesn't look like I am wearing any make up at all and the
smiles and compliments I get are always very positive and reaffirming. There are natal
girls I know who want me to show them how to do their make up. I am not sure if I can
do that, I have worked out what works for me, but will mostly likely not work for them.

Learning about make-up is by trial and error, but there are videos on you-tube that show
make up applications for day time and night-time wear giving different results and looks.
Find out what looks work best for you and don't be afraid to vary the colours to work in
with the colour of the clothing and jewellery you are planning to wear, or experiment with
new ideas because it really is lots of fun and worth the effort. It can do a lot for your
self confidence when others really take notice of you and pay you nice compliments. So
maybe this is why your therapist was encouraging you to start experimenting with make up.

shh...it's ok.. really....

[Melody Moore]

Kathryn, it is just the rest of what I wanted to say after I posted my earlier comments after I woke
up and checked these boards around 3.30am in the morning, so is that ok with you mother dear? :daydreaming:

[Kathryn Martin]

Kathryn, it is just the rest of what I wanted to say after I posted my earlier comments after I woke
up and checked these boards around 3.30am in the morning, so is that ok with you mother dear? :daydreaming:

Yes dear, father loves you too:hugs::D:devil:

[tanyalynn51]

I know that makeup is trial and error, but I think Ive gotten lucky with my first shot. At least this kind of lipstick that I got is really easy to put on...

[Sejd]

I like make up. Sometimes when I go to a club I wear it and love it. I also like stuffed animals and all things fluffy. That's why I have a Shitzu dog :) I guess the bottom line is that it is good to experiment a little with new things. Sounds like that's what your therapist probably meant when she suggested you try it out. About the Goth look, I have a "Goth" lipstick, and sometimes use it just to feel playful. Why not let yourself have a bit fun?

[Hope]

Make up is a pretty personal thing, as you have witnessed with some of the responses. But if you learn to do it well, it will DEFINITELY help you with your presentation.

And by "well" I don't mean "more." Sometimes more make-up is appropriate, other times, not so much. One of the tricks of being a woman is learning to dress appropriately not only for your age, but for the location you are going to be in, who you are going to be with, the time of day, the season of the year, how you want to present yourself in that location, your self identity, mood, self perception, and probably 1000 other variables.

Make-up is a part of your wardrobe. And it varies according to the other variables, just like the rest of your wardrobe will... for almost all women. Frankly, I have never met a woman who NEVER wears make-up. Most women have a "running errands" look - it is comfortable, easy and dressed down - like the jeans they pair with it. Usually we are talking about mascara, maybe a swipe of lippy, there is a 50/50 chance for foundation depending on the girl (most people don't notice it - because they aren't supposed to - but it is there) - maybe a bit of shadow or liner if we are talking about a femme girl. For those who work in an office, the make up steps up with the surroundings. Usually a foundation (and probably concealer), shadow (2-3 colors), liner, mascara, and definitely lippy and powder depending on the type of foundation she is using, and the colors are usually relatively conservative. For an evening out, you push the full glam look - full eye, lip-liner and lippy, foundation, brows, the full kit, and usually in bolder colors. Contrasted with the "working in the yard" look... that is pretty minimal - but I bet you would be hard pressed to find a woman who goes out without moisturizer - even just to pull weeds. Why? It is skincare. Almost every woman over the age of about 28 uses moisturizer every day regardless of what she puts on otherwise. And everyone should, regardless of age.

There are a couple of true-isms. One of them is that when you are first starting out, you will wear too much make-up. it is almost unavoidable. For one thing, you will almost certainly be wearing a very heavy foundation, and likely a heavy concealer (that is in turn concealed by your foundation) to cover your beard shadow. Until the beard goes away - it is almost impossible to get away from the too-heavy look... which is restrictive and embarrassing... and part of the process. Unless you want to be the bearded lady... which I suppose is fine for some folks. I was happy to be the tranny with the obvious make-up rather than the bearded circus freak - but to each their own. You can learn to make your heavy foundation look like lighter make-up but it takes practice, and experience, and it doesn't happen over night. And it is almost impossible to do with drug-store foundation. Seriously, spend a bit more and go to the department store and get color matched with a good foundation, I am begging you. It is an art - and once you have mastered making heavy foundation disappear (about the time you don't need it anymore) you will be able to use any decent foundation and blend right in. Life gets dramatically better right around that time.

I work in the cosmetics department of a major department store... so my make-up for work tends to be a bit more... involved... but it still only takes me about 15 minutes to do it in the morning. That wasn't always true... it used to take me over a half-hour. Practice practice practice. If you do it every day, you will learn to do it quickly, and right. If I screw something up, or if I am going over the top it might take me 25... but I usually get the entire job done, from base serum, to moisturizer, to concealer, to foundation, to brows, to eye shadow (3 color for work usually) to eye liner, to mascara, to powder, to blush, to lip liner and lippy in 15-20 minutes without working up a sweat. On more casual days it is moisturizer (always moisturizer first ladies!) concealer if I am feeling ugly, foundation, 2 colors of eye shadow, mascara and lippy... If I am just going out to do yard work I am probably going to just put on moisturizer... and maybe mascara and lippy if I decide I need to zip into the grocery store for something yummy...

It is all contextual.

Of course the truth is you don't have to wear make up, but it will help your presentation when you learn to do it well, and because most women DO wear make up - it will help with your pass-ability too... and it is anther point of contact with your sisters. If you never learn to do your makeup, you will stick out when you go somewhere that calls for it... and you will never be able to participate in the girl-talk that surrounds make-up no matter how old we get. I was out with a 67 year old butch dyke about 2 weeks ago who asked me about my eye liner and told me all about the bad-old days of dry compacts and water (or spit) used to apply it. It was weird, unexpected, and fun.

My advice to you would be to learn to do your make-up, and then decide WHEN you want to wear it - and how much you want to wear to feel complete. My other bit of advice is to avoid Mary-Kay and Avon like the plague. Your Mary-Kay advisor will come to your house to do a make-over... and that is awesome, especially in the beginning when you are nervous about going out. The problem is that she sells Mary-Kay. *shudder* There are really 2 ways to go about learning to do your own make up - buy piles of stuff from Target, and take it home and play and watch you-tube videos and buy a make-up book... and learn from trial and error... You will end up buying a lot of make-up you never use... but it is cheep - so who cares? The other option is to put on your big-girl panties and go to the department store and sidle up to the counter and tell the woman on the other side of it what you need, and have her show you how to do every little thing in the world. She will try to sell you every thing in the world, so you have to be careful about what you really like, are ready for, and think you can handle... but the nice thing about going to the department store, besides the personal attention and lessons - is that when something doesn't work out, you can return it. And get your money back. Yes, department store make up is more expensive. Yes it is nicer make-up (though the revlon lippy is hard to argue with - if only it lasted longer) then you find at the drug store... but you will end up buying less of it, and getting a private lesson from the girl at the counter to boot... And you don't have to fear the girls at the counter. The fashion world is pretty open to begin with, all of the top department stores have VERY little tolerance for discrimination of any kind, and I promise you - you would not be the first "guy" we have seen getting matched for foundation. Promise. I wasen't even the first girl to WORK in the store I work in.

[Stephenie S]

I don't think wearing makeup has ANYTHING to do with being a woman. And I certainly don't think of it as "candy" to a girl.

Use it or don't. It's your choice. But please don't think that you have to.

S

[Aprilrain]

I have to wear make up every day (unless I'm not going anywhere) to cover up the OBVIOUS beard shadow OR the OBVIOUS redness from Electro, will it ever end! I do my make up in about 15 to 20 minutes and its subtle when I'm done I look more feminine and i think prettier but it doesn't really look like I'm wearing make up.

[Melody Moore]

True make up has nothing to do with actually 'being a woman', but using makeup is something that many women like
to do. And I also mentioned earlier about how make up can be so useful to a trans-woman as April also just pointed
out. And I believe this is why Tanya's therapist was suggesting to her that she try experimenting with make up. And
using make up like April has also suggested so it looks like you are not wearing make up is the right way to go.

[Beth-Lock]

I think, as you get older you need it more, especially if only lipstick.

Personally, I use almost full make-up every day and some skin treatment as well, though not every day for that.

There is an art to matching lipstick colour/shade to what you are wearing and what accessories you have, (taking into account their colour too). Gothic lipstick would only work with some outfits, unless you go Goth all the time, I suspect.

Also there is a trick to use with distinctly coloured lipstick, red or pink. If you want it to pop out, you use a lipliner of the same shade around its outline to sharpen the contrast with the adjacent skin. If you want it not to be obvious, (say for stealth mode), you skip the lipliner and instead put a little blush on the skin next to your lips, to reduce the contrast.

A good trick for avoiding embarassment in buying make-up is to go to a store which has self-checkout, rather than needing to go through a cashier.

Once you get past the error part of your trial and error learning, it is fun.

[Maryanne_sa]

I love wearing make-up, and so does my GG friend. We have lots of fun at the makeup counters, and buying and trying out new nail polishes colours. Makeup, definately makes me look more feminine. The trick is, as others have said, is to dress and makeup for the occassion, and the time of day. Make the makeup look as natural as possible, you definately don't want to look like a drag queen, but for evenings out, can have more fun with Eye Shadows etc. I have been told by quite a few GG's that my makeup looks just right!

That said, this is my personal choice, and Everyone should do what they are comfortable with. There is no harm in experimenting if you are new. If you decide it's not for you, that's fine as well.

I agree with Beth-Lock It is fun!

[Dawn cd]

In my experience you need less makeup as you get older. True, there are wrinkles and sometimes spots on the skin, but wrinkles are good (especially if well-earned). The main thing is that the beard turns whiter and does not show beneath the skin, so a light powder or tinted moisturizer will suffice. Lip color is more muted.