Frédérique’s Tea Party

[Frédérique]

“Once upon a time... There was a girl... Whose dreams came true!” (from a tea party invitation)

I wish to invite EVERYONE on this site to a little tea party I’m having, just for the sake of getting together and learning something about each other. I believe the 21st century term is “interaction,” but I am placing this meaningful activity within the framework of an imaginary tea party, a 19th century type of mid-afternoon gathering where certain rules of etiquette apply...

Before I go too much further, I wish to state that, in this instance, “Tea Party” does not refer in any way to the grassroots political movement, nor does it refer to the practice of cross-stream urination or any other type of group sexual undertaking. No, this is an ACTUAL tea party, and I’m sure you can picture what I’m getting at. If there is a theme for this party, it is that we are all crossdressers of one sort or another, and having a tea party is a good excuse to wear your best dress-up clothes...

I should explain that I am the type of MtF crossdresser who dresses for pleasure, with no sexual “strings” attached, and the idea of dress-up is an attractive notion to me. I know there are others on this board who feel the same way I do, just as I know there are many who are whispering “Oh, BROTHER” right about now. Do me a favor, and say “Oh, sister” instead, because I want us all to sit down at the same table, regardless of what our personal relationship to crossdressing may be, and put aside our alleged differences for the time being...

I’m sure a lot of you may find the idea of dressing-up, in a setting where manners are obligatory, to be something wholly abhorrent and contrary to your inherent nature. I understand. Come as you are, or how you have become over time, but please be mindful when you handle the fragile objects, namely the closeted crossdressers and shy newbies that you will be having “tea” with. If you can willingly suspend disbelief, and use your imagination, I think we can all get along here in the sunshine – it’s a beautiful day, if you want it to be, and I’m glad to “see” everyone...

Speaking of imagination, please realize that this little tea party is imaginary in the extreme. The tea is imaginary, the little cakes, sandwiches, and cookies are imaginary, and even the table we are sitting at is imaginary. Since this gathering exists in cyber-space, or in our minds, we are free to drop the barriers that exist in the real world. As far as I’m concerned, these barriers are equally imaginary, and their presence on this site ruins the happiness we seek through crossdressing. I know, some of you have no choice in the matter, but, since we’re all HERE, can’t we just sit down, relax, and engage in idle chatter for a short time? The conversation is anything but imaginary, and the people are very, very real, which brings me to the next point...

Lately I’ve been perplexed by this idea of “reality,” something that could be discussed endlessly on this site. When the wind is blowing in a certain direction, I can detect the subtle signs of abject discontent, and I think the question of “reality” is propelling the weather. At issue is whether one type of crossdresser is more “real” than another, and thus more useful to the community at large. If we can all sit down together and drop this façade of having to BE a certain way, you may begin to realize that reality itself is an illusion. I should know, since I am an artist (a painter), and reality is being questioned, and wrestled with, all the time by artistic minds. I’m just as real as everyone else, but there’s no satisfactory way to prove it. The truth is, my reality and your reality are both different AND the same...

While you’re wrapping your head around that one, I’ll make some more tea...:)

OK, why are you looking at me like that? This is a tea party, and I’m dressed for the occasion. In many ways I’m a girl, and I’m pretending to be a grown-up. What’s that - you don’t understand? You see, I never got to do these things when I was a child. I was born a male and I was taught to identify as a male, with all the gender-specific trappings that went along with that identity. But, luckily, my instruction was casual, with just enough “play” in the system so I could find my way back HERE, before it got too late. Is that a joke? Is that non-reality? If you think I’m playing at being a girl, or a woman, you may be correct, but that is the nature of my own reality. I can only do this, just like the masculine male can only be masculine, according to the reality he has chosen. I’m sorry to burden everyone with these concepts, but I’m living in a world where you constantly have to explain yourself to verify your own existence. As such, the MtF crossdresser has to be defensive, if only to maintain HER grip on reality...

It’s important, just like this little party is important. I like the relaxing, amiable atmosphere here. I can “see” my friends, and I can see those who take issue with nearly everything I write, in fact I have also welcomed the residents of my “ignore list” to the table as a gesture of friendship. I talk a lot about non-confrontation, but I will confront the naysayers if need be – I just ask that the discourse be civil, and please TRY to understand that some individuals around here worship the idea of “pretty.” That one characteristic alone, borne on the wings of gender discontent, seeps into your very psyche and turns what you’re supposed to be into what you WANT to be. That’s what brings me here, to this little tea party, wearing a pretty dress that was not meant to be worn by a person like me. Turn away if you will, but I MUST dress this way...

Please have another cookie, darling... :battingeyelashes:

My father was of English descent, and my mother was of Finnish descent, so I am 50/50 English and Finnish. My parents and I would often have tea promptly at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, out among my father’s flower gardens if the weather was acceptable. Obviously, I could never wear a dress then, but I can do it now, and I have turned this family tradition into our current, more formal, yet imaginary get-together. Oh, if only I could actually do this, here in my little house on the prairie, in a small, sleepy Kansas town that is rather ignorant of such transgendered goings-on. I can picture it. I would welcome you all, one by one, at the front door. Please pardon my cute apron – I was just putting the final touches on everything. Nice house, eh? Yes, high ceilings – please take a look around, and make yourself at home...

You can look at my artwork hanging on the walls, if you’re interested, but please check out my sister’s needlework as well. Yes, those are my three cats – HUGE, aren’t they? Come have a seat at the table, and let’s all sit together, facing each other. Everything is kind of surreal, isn’t it? In honor of the many UK members, I have various tea cakes and little sandwiches on display (please help yourself), and isn’t that a cute tea cozy? Also, here are some Finnish delicacies – some cinnamon rusks, some pulla (cardamom bread), and some piirakka, a kind of buttered rice pastry that is really sublime. My sister made the latter just for your pleasure. The tea is from Sri Lanka – Arthur C. Clarke once assured me that it is the finest in the world, and the Sri Lankan cricket team agrees (well, they would)...

Well, isn’t this nice! What shall we talk about? Being the hostess, I will be “hovering” about. Why don’t we start with this – tell me something meaningful about yourself, or tell me what's bothering you. For instance, how did YOU come about, or why are you here? If you’re on this site, it’s obvious that crossdressing is important to you, important enough to write about, or important enough to discuss with others. In case you didn’t know this, I love ALL crossdressers, even the ones who hate MtF crossdressers like me. I don’t want to defend why I do things a certain way, nor do I wish to dissect why you do things a certain way. We are all here because we share something that is difficult for outsiders to understand, namely the penchant, or desire, or need, to wear the “wrong” clothing. Please accept my hospitality and reality, and I hope you accept me, since I accept you, as you are, without any reservations...

We can make this a memorable occasion, so please help me. We may never pass this way again... :straightface:

I hope this concept isn’t too nebulous for some of you – it cannot be otherwise, I’m afraid. We crossdressers seem to be far apart these days, and getting farther apart all the time, much like the ever-expanding Universe we find ourselves in. All I can do is invite you to my little party, with the idea of bringing us together, and I hope you decide to “submit” to my invitation. Join me, because I really am coming apart – I need some reassurance that my convictions are real, and valid, and worth hanging on to. I’m not exactly losing my grip on reality, but...well...please “be” with me in this imaginary setting, if only for a short time...

Tell me what you think. I’ll brew another pot of ambiguity (I mean tea)... :heehee:

[Debglam]

<Selects a comfortable chair, smoothes her dress, and takes a seat. Yes it is a little “frilly” for everyday wear but this IS a tea party after all. Takes off gloves and places them in purse.>

Freddy, this is just lovely! Thank you so much for having me! You have a beautiful home!

<Admires artwork (wishing I could see it in real life!)>

Thank you dear.

<Takes a delicate china cup from our hostess, adds sugar and probably lemon but considers the offense the latter would have on English sensibilities!:heehee:>

<Nibbles on a cookie.>

These are just delicious!

<Admires all of the beautiful outfits the other guests are wearing.>

The afternoon continues this way with tea, pleasant conversation about everything from family to work to fashion to life. We are open and honest with each other, some minor disagreements but no acrimony. We are all friends after all. No posturing and no need to hide our feelings.

Freddy, you asked “why am I here?” I think the simple answer is because of things like this tea party. Having spent a lifetime looking through a window into a room I was never allowed to enter, I finally have not only found a door, but one held open for me by friends! I entered the room with some trepidation in pretty clothes trying to look as feminine as I feel. I feel awkward because as much as I’ve always wanted to strike this appearance, this is the first place I’ve been able to. My nervousness evaporates as the other guests with similar feelings to one degree or another say I am welcome, that I can be myself here. Simply be myself.

Simply be ourselves!

:hugs:
Debby

[Jennifer H]

Thank you so much for your kind invitation to your afternoon tea party. As I walk though your door I do not know you or any of your other guests but as the time goes on I hope we become and remain firm friends. As you can see I have put on my very best dress not to try and impress but so I can blend in with all the other girls who are already here or are about to arrive. I love Sri lancan tea so may I have a cup but please with lemon not milk and one of those cucumber sandwiches would be very nice, if this is a success and I am invited to another tea party I will bake a sponge cake and bring it along for you all to try. I live in Yorkshire, England and when I was a little girl just after the 2nd war we used to have tea parties in the nursery and that was the only time I was allowed to dress up so thank you for bringing back these very pleasant memories of long ago. For those out there who haven't arrived yet I will describe my dress which is a deep shade of blue short sleeves and finishes at the knee with a slight flair my stockings are skin tone and the shoes exactly the same shade as the dress (wasn't I lucky to find them) the dress is trimmed in white with a small bow at the back I have a black hat and gloves. Tell you what while we are waiting I would love another cup of your lovely tea. xxx Jenny

[Kathi Lake]

Why am I here? Well, the overarching existential reason might be, . . what? Oh, why am I here, at CD.com. That's a different (and blissfully much shorter) answer.

Like you, I feel that I was a little shortchanged in the 'female interaction' department growing up. I was not allowed into their clubhouses until much later - and then it was only to fix their computers. :)

I initially came here for support. I received it in spades. I was befriended, challenged, helped, banned, reinstated, mentored and, ultimately, changed. I now stay here to be that hope and change for others. We know too well what a cold place the world can be. Here in this nice house we can feel warm, loved, and protected.

So, thanks for the invitation, Freddy! I appreciate it!

Kathi

[jayme357]

One of the interesting things that I observe while looking around and enjoying the lovely garden is that everyone here is a little different. No matter where I look I cannot see two that are exactly alike. Strangely, that does not seem to bother me at all. As a matter of fact, as I walk around and talk to the ladies I find that I am learning something different from each person I talk to. It occurs to me that there may be something that I have learned: how fortunate I am that I can actually valuethe differences in the people I have met. As I daydream a bit I wonder why we seem to criticize differences rather than value them. Do we really want everyone else to think and behave just like us? What a horribly boring world that would be. Thank goodness we have some people that are willing to be pioneers and forge the way for the rest of us. Many of us could never survive such an ordeal. Blessed are those who have the courage to challenge the unknown. The rest of us will be eternally gratefull, and perhaps one day some of we less courageous ladies will be able to follow in your footsteps - but perhaps not.

Thank you so much Freddy for the lovely invitation. It has been a delightful afternoon and hopefully each of us will be a better person for having attended

[Piora]

Many, many years ago, the concept of taking part in a virtual Tea Party via something called the internet, and on a message board exclusively for Crossdressers, Gay & Lesbian, and Transgendered would have been something akin to Science Fiction. Shades of "Close Encounters of the Unknown Kind"

Nevertheless, three decades later....here we are. Personally, I am thrilled to be invited to Freddy's Afternoon Tea. And I think, as we all sip our tea from those delicate, finest English Bone China cups (cucumber sandwich, anyone?) we should reflect on what made us seek out this site.

For myself, it was to be in contact with others like me. And I have not been let down in that regard. This site is indeed a sanctuary, where we can come and talk about whatever we please (within reason) I started to crossdress as a way of expressing to myself my hidden femininity, and in a way that I could feel good about myself. I find that, in recent years - and particularly after joining this site - I have matured in what I choose to dress in my female attire, and I'm exploring new paths within it.

As many of you are aware, I recently came out to my daughter, who accepted my 'passion' with such warmth and understanding, I was moved to tears. She shared a quote with me (shortly after we talked, she left it on our noteboard where we leave each other messages of importance) and I'd like to share it with you. Some of you likely have heard it, or know it previously:

"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it"

~ Clarence Budington Kelland

[NicoleScott]

Let me get this straight. We're going to meet in Boston Harbor, disguised as Indians, and board a ship to throw the tea cargo overboard. Of course, the Indians will be en femme. I'll come as Pocohontas.

[ReineD]

I hope this concept isn’t too nebulous for some of you – it cannot be otherwise, I’m afraid. We crossdressers seem to be far apart these days, and getting farther apart all the time, much like the ever-expanding Universe we find ourselves in. All I can do is invite you to my little party, with the idea of bringing us together, and I hope you decide to “submit” to my invitation. Join me, because I really am coming apart – I need some reassurance that my convictions are real, and valid, and worth hanging on to. I’m not exactly losing my grip on reality, but...well...please “be” with me in this imaginary setting, if only for a short time...

Freddy, your last few posts have caused debates in this forum, and if you don't mind, I'd like to speak about you in the third person to those who would come to this thread in order to dispute your attitudes about the CDing.

To the membership: no doubt there are those of you who feel that everyone here should abandon their fantasies, and instead take concrete steps in order to experience real life as a woman even if it is part-time, however imperfect this might be compared to the fantasy. It is your prerogative to make such choices for yourselves. But, you have no right to assume that everyone here has the same goals.

Freddy enjoys the fantasy and there are many other CDers in this forum and elsewhere who do also, even if for some of them the fantasy is more sexual. Not every transgender is a transwoman in denial. And even if they are, it is up to them and only them to determine when they will tire of the fantasy, and not up to to well-meaning forum members who are on a mission to "make things right" for everyone else.

I hope my post will help to avoid an onslaught of well-meaning criticisms and the resulting conflict. Freddy has just as much right to be here and post her fantasies as anyone else who is here to seek a different type of support.

[Cynthia Anne]

Thank you Frederique! But being that I'm a redneck country girl I beleive I'll JUST HAVE A BEER!:eek::D Hugs!

[MissMarcie]

Thank you Frederique! But being that I'm a redneck country girl I beleive I'll JUST HAVE A BEER!:eek::D Hugs!
Somehow I think that cold beer is just not how Frederique rolls...

[Kaz]

Freddy, your last few posts have caused debates in this forum, and if you don't mind, I'd like to speak about you in the third person to those who would come to this thread in order to dispute your attitudes about the CDing.

Freddy enjoys the fantasy and there are many other CDers in this forum and elsewhere who do also, even if for some of them the fantasy is more sexual. Not every transgender is a transwoman in denial. And even if they are, it is up to them and only them to determine when they will tire of the fantasy, and not up to to well-meaning forum members who are on a mission to "make things right" for everyone else.

I hope my post will help to avoid an onslaught of well-meaning criticisms and the resulting conflict. Freddy has just as much right to be here and post her fantasies as anyone else who is here to seek a different type of support.

To the membership: no doubt there are those of you who feel that everyone here should abandon their fantasies, and instead take concrete steps in order to experience real life as a woman even if it is part-time, however imperfect this might be compared to the fantasy. It is your prerogative to make such choices for yourselves. But, you have no right to assume that everyone here has the same goals.

---------------------------------------------

Reine... I do not want to hijack the thread but being a genetic male I couldn't figure out a way of getting this copied into a PM.. and so to the world... I think Reine is a true queen... pearls of wisdom flow from her words and whenever we encounter her... be blessed... I am not saying that I always agree wth her, or that she is always right (in my head) but she is always bang on the issue... and my number 1.

----------------------------------------------

And to Freddie... just keep them coming... you are a spark and an insiration... we need you....!

[Frédérique]

Thanks for coming to my innocent little “virtual” party! I’m very glad to see you all. Every time I submit a thread OP I expect it to be deleted, so when it isn’t I hug my laptop…:eek:


Let me get this straight. We're going to meet in Boston Harbor, disguised as Indians, and board a ship to throw the tea cargo overboard. Of course, the Indians will be en femme. I'll come as Pocohontas.

Not so fast – if it’s Boston, you must be a Wompanoag! I’ve been to the Tea Party Museum, right on Fort Point Channel in Boston, in fact they have a facsimile ship all set up for the tourists. I don’t believe this was the actual location of the event, since Boston has been filled in over time to accommodate growth in all directions. Nearby used to be “The Channel,” a venue with low ceilings where you could see alternative rock bands (back when such bands really were alternative, I mean). Fort Point Channel has opaque green water, and my hat once blew off my head, landing in the goo before being swept out into Boston Harbor. Ah, the good old days, when I lived near sea level and I could breathe freely…

See, you learn something new every day! :)


For myself, it was to be in contact with others like me. And I have not been let down in that regard. This site is indeed a sanctuary, where we can come and talk about whatever we please (within reason) I started to crossdress as a way of expressing to myself my hidden femininity, and in way that I could feel good about myself.

I also came here to be in contact with others, and it has been interesting, enlightening, and instructive. Eye-opening in the extreme, as well. I’m surprised I’m still here writing this much, but that may be indicative of the deep well of topics that crossdressing provides. I can’t relate to everything, but I at least give it all a look, and it’s fun to think of a topic for discussion now and then. Of course, it’s all about feeling good about oneself, and we are ultimately responsible for that. I live in only one corner of this TG world, in fact I see it as dense woods where the trees, for one reason or another, obscure the “forest.” It can be a dark place, but I see some light over yonder…

Reine says I’m “poetic,” right Reine? :thinking:


I hope my post will help to avoid an onslaught of well-meaning criticisms and the resulting conflict. Freddy has just as much right to be here and post her fantasies as anyone else who is here to seek a different type of support.

There’s no reason to “explain” me, Reine, if you’re afraid of an anti-fantasy backlash. I welcome all respondents, as I stated in the OP, to this little party. I’m emphasizing the fantasia to bolster the premise, which is me stating, in so many words, that we all need to relax. Beyond that, please dig the ambiguity and don’t take this exercise too seriously. I think crossdressing can still be fun, even if you’re my age, and childhood memories that never happened can be staged as a kind of group therapy. My fantasies are not everyone’s cup of tea, to be sure, but I’m putting on my finest dress-up clothes on this special occasion. Most of the time I’m just as real as everyone else, but let’s not think about that too much, OK?

I botched up the pun in the OP – it should read “brew another pot of ambiguitea.” :doh:

[NicoleScott]

Frederique, I know you know that, but the Brits won't know the difference. "They're all just a bunch of savages (but I'd do that one)"

[Elizabeth Ann]

Join me, because I really am coming apart – I need some reassurance that my convictions are real, and valid, and worth hanging on to. I’m not exactly losing my grip on reality, but...well...please “be” with me in this imaginary setting, if only for a short time...

Tell me what you think. I’ll brew another pot of ambiguity (I mean tea)... :heehee:

Freddy,
I have to confess that I don't often have the stamina to get through your posts, and sometimes just skip down to the bottom. This one made me go back and read it. You asked us to tell you a bit about ourselves, so I'll tell you a bit that I think, or at least I hope, can provide you some comfort.

When I was about 10, I asked by father about certain logical inconsistencies in the Bible, and about my doubt. He is a great father and a brilliant, religious, and flawed man. His answer was not what I expected or wanted. He said, "I knew that you would have these questions sometime, and you will have to figure it out for yourself." He said he could not tell me what to believe.

I wandered across a very broad landscape after that, and ultimately got a bachelor's degree in philosophy because I could not discern the purpose in life. What I learned there was frustrating and liberating. The purpose in life is not a well framed question. When Socrates said, "all I know is that I know nothing" he was not being facetious. There are few fixed points upon which to construct a life, so we are all at sea, searching for that solid rock upon which to build a foundation. For many of us, the purpose seems to be nothing more than to keep swimming.

I don't know what your convictions are, and my existentialist bent inclines me to believe you are free to chose any you want. I know it may cause the greatest discomfort, but what I applaud is your need to seek "reassurance that my convictions are real, and valid, and worth hanging on to." It may seem paradoxical, but the fact that you question your convictions is the very thing that gives them validity.

But I am being too serious for a tea party. Got any Earl Grey?
Liz

[TGMarla]

Well hello, Freddy, dear! Thank you so much for you lovely invitation! I hope my dress is appropriate? I know, white shoes in October, but this is tea, after all! And I wanted to wear something tea length.


166506
I just love what you've done with the place! It's absolutely splendid! I see what you mean by the high ceilings, but you neglected to mention the low floors! I love what you've done with your hair. And your outfit is so pretty!

Did you make any Earl Grey? I just love Earl Grey. I brought these little perogies for everyone. I'm slavic by descent, and I thought they'd be a nice addition. It took me all morning to make them.

Freddy, dear, thank you so much for inviting all of us here. I think it's a wonderful idea. It gives us all a chance to see each other that we might not have otherwise. I'm here because there is no other place I know of where I can talk to, and interact with, so many others that have the very same interest in the feminine mystique that I have. I mean, I just love wearing pretty dresses, and no one else seems to understand. Having the chance to be pretty, and delicate, and sensitive, and .... well... feminine is just divine. But if I try and talk about this to others, they just look at me funny, and then start shunning me. Not so when I'm here. Here, people like me, admire me, show me respect, and talk to me like I'm one of the girls. I like that. So I keep coming back.

And also, here I get the chance to read several well-written exhaustively long and detailed, thought-provoking theses on a myriad of topics, all of which somehow deal with the blessings of the feminine experience.

Well, let me take my tea and find a chair. Would you like to taste a perogi? You'd love them! Careful though, they're a teensy bit fattening, but then, you have no cares in that area.

Hello everyone! Good to see you..........

[Debutante]

Freddy -- I so much love to come to a tea party..... such a feminine occasion, for all of us to share and be -- ourselves.....!
As women.......... enjoying just 'being', and having lovely hostess watch over us all....

[JenniferR771]

Oh, thanks so much, Freddy. You have a lovely home. And these funny little cookies are just great--I am still hungry though. So many lovely outfits and fun girls. We have so much to talk about. Lipton's will be fine. Do I need a tea ball? You can just add hot water to mine? Is this bright red suit OK? Does it go with black-patent low heels? I wanted to be stylish--not informal--but comfortable. I like tall heels (peep-toe, sling-back, do me like a dog heels), but...there is a limit, don't you know? Lovely painting--is it acrylic? Do you do any painting on double glass? Is the football game on the TV? You look so nice. Who does your hair?

I will just sit here in this chair on the patio, and keep an eye on the birdbath.

[SarahLynn]

"Freddie Darling, so good of you to invite me. And it truely is wonderfull to see you so happy again. You really have come into your own out here on the prairie. Ooh please darling I'd love some of this wonderfull tea of Sri Lanka. As it is thank you, I've never been into the sugar and cream thing. But of coarse you do know best in these things."

"Ooh this little package? Why dear it's a cheap bottle of Josph Phelps 1974, Cabernet Sauvignon for your dinner later. May I suggest you enjoy it with someone else who will appriciate the baron of beef you prepare to go with it."

<Noting SarahLlynn is wearing a navy blue skirt with matching belt, a white blouse with ruffles part way down the front, a Eisenhower style jacket also of navy blue, suntan tone hose and black pumps with a modest heel Frédérique comments to it's appearance.>

"Why thank you dear, this is an old skirt that's been hanging around the closet for a time. I've always been a bit fond of the navy blue, and it goes so well with my jacket don't you think? And I do so like to wear a white blouse with the ruffles down the front. Ooh these earrings cost a fortune with the neckless and broach but one can't just leave them in the cabinet gathering dust, can one? I do thank you for noticing them."

"Now I hear another of the girls arriving so you just run along to greet them and I'll sit here in the livingroom and admire these paintings. I've an interest in that abstract cubist there. It looks all the world to me like a ship being tossed about on the ocean."

"Oh yes when you have the time I would like another cup of tea. I'd get it myself if you would be so kind as to direct me to the kitchen. Thank you Luv."

<A bit later SarahLynn ventures to the garden where she meets some of the other girls. She compliments to them on their appearance then she notes the distance one can see across the prairie.>

"It's just like being at sea you know. Far distance and undulating surfaces are common out there. Same as here but there are so many more things to see on the prairie then one can witness at sea. Why on my drive over I noticed some Bison grazing to the south and east of here. Lovely grass they had too. I had no idea the area had so much natural prairie grasses."

The conversation quickly changes to things of house and home.

SarahLlynn will continue her conversation with the other girls as they join the party.

SarahLlynn

[bridgetta]

Greek philosopher PROTAGOROUS. - Man is the measure of all things.

This is the most famous saying of Protagoras, though it is in fact, only the first portion of his statement. The full line runs ‘Man is the measure of all things; of things that are that they are, and of things that are not that they are not.’ Protagoras’ relativism is one of the most extreme ever argued. This means that truth is relative and for each individual truth is different. This can be true with things like temperature – you might find the evening chilly, but for me it is warm. However, we can all agree on the absolute temperature in degrees. Protagoras would disagree and would say that all of our knowledge is sense based and therefore unique to each individual. The problem with relativism is that it makes philosophical discussion impossible; what you think you say and what I hear might be completely different, if we are unable to agree on objective truth.



Btw. I am an artist as well. I understand your query toward reality. Illusion is painting. This concern opens up a door

[Sophie86]

Hi, Frédérique. Thanks for inviting me. I wore something bright and floral for the occasion. It's more appropriate for spring than fall, but it reflects my mood better. :battingeyelashes:

You want me to talk about me? Normally, that's one of my favorite pastimes, but today I'm just not up for it. Perhaps we could talk about the lovely weather instead. I was outside earlier today, and the sky was a brilliant blue with not even the smallest puffy white cloud in it. Yet, it wasn't overly hot. The temperature was perfect. Fall is just beginning to arrive here in North Florida. The dogwood leaves are beginning to blush, and the berries have turned bright red. Some other trees are also showing a few yellow leaves here and there, but the sweet gums are still bright green. When they turn, I'll know that fall is definitely here.

You may have thought that Florida doesn't have much in the way of fall foliage, and for the most part that's true. Compared to New England, we get a poor show. The area right around where I live, though, is blessed with a number of trees that do their best to add a little color to this time of year.

And of course, one of the best things about Florida is that we are never without some type of flower being in bloom. Even in the dead of winter, we will have camellias loaded down with beautiful flowers in red, white and pink. Dead winter is a season that doesn't last very long either, because by late February, the earliest spring flowers will already be putting forth their buds. :)

How is the weather in Kansas right now?

[ReineD]

There’s no reason to “explain” me, Reine, if you’re afraid of an anti-fantasy backlash. I welcome all respondents, as I stated in the OP, to this little party.

Yes, I am afraid of an anti-fantasy backlash, but not for the reasons you think. There is enough division between the two camps in this forum without encouraging more of it. In your last thread, words were written that should have been deleted (including some of your own) had they been caught, and that hurt some members here deeply. Your thread was closed as the result, and this is not the type of culture that I and other mods wish to foster here, hence all posts are not welcomed as far as I'm concerned. All respondents are certainly welcomed, but given the disastrous end to your last thread, I could not trust that the friction would not continue in this one. Hence my warning.

Maybe some members enjoy the entertainment value of all this strife, but ultimately the discord only serves to create bad feelings and drive members away.

[Mimi]

Hi Freddy, and thank you for your invitation. I hope that I am included, as I am a member of the forum, although I am a GG. I will have a cup of ginger tea and some cookies, and sit back and listen to the conversation, as I tend to be shy in groups of people. Eryn invited me to join the forum--that is what I am doing here, and when I saw your invitation I thought I'd stop by and enjoy your hospitality, and listen and learn from the other guests.

[Frédérique]

Did you make any Earl Grey? I just love Earl Grey.
And also, here I get the chance to read several well-written exhaustively long and detailed, thought-provoking theses on a myriad of topics, all of which somehow deal with the blessings of the feminine experience.

Lovely dress, Marla, as usual! Thanks for coming… :battingeyelashes:

Yes, I have Earl Grey – it’s one of my favorites. I also have Lady Grey, an appropriate choice for our little soiree. As far as these exhaustively long and detailed theses are concerned, would you believe that some people on this board aren’t exactly…shall we say…enamored with yours truly? Just today I got a scathing message to that effect, but, since that was before I invited everyone to this party, I didn’t let the unfortunate incident spoil our fun. I don’t know, maybe I’m exhausting everybody (and myself)…
:sigh:


"It's just like being at sea you know. Far distance and undulating surfaces are common out there. Same as here but there are so many more things to see on the prairie then one can witness at sea. Why on my drive over I noticed some Bison grazing to the south and east of here. Lovely grass they had too. I had no idea the area had so much natural prairie grasses."

It is like the ocean out here, in fact it used to be an ocean way, way, way back when. A sea of milo is about to be harvested, and, with Halloween approaching, there are many pumpkin patches to visit. There ARE bison, of course, grazing not too far from the pumpkins. Also, the winter wheat has been planted. One hundred miles out here is nothing, in fact I have to drive quite a ways to get to a decent BIG supermarket! The upside is that there is plenty of room for crossdressing, and, since everyone seems to be doing something, I (luckily) don’t attract much notice…


How is the weather in Kansas right now?

I LOVE your dress, Sophie! :D

The weather is lovely – 60° to 70° and sunny with little wind (which is odd for Kansas). BTW, I apologize for the background noise – they’re putting in a new gas line in the alley behind my house, and re-doing all of the meters. They’ve already done our house, so there’s plenty of hot water. Rest assured there is no chance of the house exploding, but one DID in Wichita the other day! We just had the big Swedish festival here last weekend, and it rained on the parade...
:sad:


Yes, I am afraid of an anti-fantasy backlash, but not for the reasons you think. There is enough division between the two camps in this forum without encouraging more of it. In your last thread, words were written that should have been deleted (including some of your own) had they been caught, and that hurt some members here deeply. Your thread was closed as the result, and this is not the type of culture that I and other mods wish to foster here, hence all posts are not welcomed as far as I'm concerned. All respondents are certainly welcomed, but given the disastrous end to your last thread, I could not trust that the friction would not continue in this one. Hence my warning.

I think you’re talking about Anne’s thread, which WAS closed. Her thread inspired mine, and it’s still open (I just checked). So, what “disastrous end” are you referring to? That thread led to this thread, by an indirect route, and I hope you can appreciate the conciliatory “tone” of it. I’m fully aware of these words you are referring to, but I do not wish to comment any further…

Just two camps, eh? :thinking:


I hope that I am included, as I am a member of the forum, although I am a GG.

Everyone is invited, Mimi! Thanks for stopping by… :)

[ReineD]

I think you’re talking about Anne’s thread, which WAS closed. Her thread inspired mine, and it’s still open (I just checked). So, what “disastrous end” are you referring to? That thread led to this thread, by an indirect route, and I hope you can appreciate the conciliatory “tone” of it. I’m fully aware of these words you are referring to, but I do not wish to comment any further…

Just two camps, eh? :thinking:

I didn't check my facts, just going by impression and memory. At any rate, there was a lot of ugliness in which you were also involved and my goal was to prevent another outbreak.

So ... back to our regular programming!

[jaleecd]

Thank you for inviting us to your lovely home and gentile hospitality.I like the freedom of indulging the minds-eye picture of what I would like to appear, in contrast to the reality of how far I miss that image. I will sit over here in the corner and enjoy the quiet peace of how we share the coming together in our shared interests and experiences. Yes, Earlgray will do quite nicely...... jalee

[Elizabeth Ann]

Greek philosopher PROTAGOROUS. - Man is the measure of all things.

This is the most famous saying of Protagoras, though it is in fact, only the first portion of his statement. The full line runs ‘Man is the measure of all things; of things that are that they are, and of things that are not that they are not.’ Protagoras’ relativism is one of the most extreme ever argued. This means that truth is relative and for each individual truth is different. This can be true with things like temperature – you might find the evening chilly, but for me it is warm. However, we can all agree on the absolute temperature in degrees. Protagoras would disagree and would say that all of our knowledge is sense based and therefore unique to each individual. The problem with relativism is that it makes philosophical discussion impossible; what you think you say and what I hear might be completely different, if we are unable to agree on objective truth.

Btw. I am an artist as well. I understand your query toward reality. Illusion is painting. This concern opens up a door

Bridgetta,
Don't sell the Sophists short. Oh, I know that they are more or less the spiritual predecessors of lawyers, using argument to promote their point of view, rather than to reveal the "TRUTH." It is just that over time, truth seems to have lost its capitalization for me. It is not relativity that is their problem, it is their unprincipled use of it.

For those listening in, an example. Socrates talked about forms and ideals. You see an assembly of wood and fabric, and you know that it is a chair because it fits the ideal of a chair. But the sophists would say that the concept (ideal) of a chair is defined by man. Fair enough, but what about justice? We seem to think there is some abstract immutable concept of justice that transcends our ability to write it down in laws, or even to agree on what it is. But nations, wars, religions, laws, and economic systems rise and fall on disputed and fuzzy concepts of justice, all the while with tacit recognition that "there is no justice in this world."

Well, what if the sophists were right. Maybe we are just primates with better cognitive skills than our ancestors. Nobody talks about justice in the animal world, so perhaps it is just a human "invention" useful for keeping a society from flying apart.

And crossdressers? We don't fit the ideal of either gender. So what? Unless your particular God has passed down definitions of gender, it seems to me that we are free to define our own model. When I was young, I loved Socrates and viewed Protagorous and the Sophists with disdain, but good and bad, right and wrong have gotten a lot more squishy as I got older. The flip side, however, is that I am unable to assert my "right" to crossdressing, and my wife, however much I dislike it, gets to choose her attitude toward it.

Haven't thought about these guys for a long time. Thanks for bringing it up.
Liz

[Raychel]

Thanks for the invitation to the tea Party. Frédérique

This is all so new to me. Not much of a tea drinker. But I will see what I can do with that. Also I am not so sure that I have much in the way of a dress for the occasion. I may just have to go shopping. Most of my clothes are kinda formal.

Not a very exciting person here, Pretty quite and laid back. Most of my life is working and sleeping. Sometimes we do a little camping, Although that isn't as much fun as it used to be for me. Very rarely we wil go for a small bike ride. Maybe ride along the canal on Cape Cod. Other then that this website is about it for me.

I do have plans for a new house in the future, Someplace where it doesn't snow. Someplace that I can dress like I want and sit by the pool in my womans swimsuit if I wish. If I live long enough to make that a reality, that remains to be seen.

That is my introduction, Now I will sit back and listen to the converstaion for a while.
Thanks again for the invite.

[Frédérique]

At any rate, there was a lot of ugliness in which you were also involved and my goal was to prevent another outbreak.

I am determined to do just that, according to your wishes. Try the piirakka, Reine… :)


I like the freedom of indulging the minds-eye picture of what I would like to appear, in contrast to the reality of how far I miss that image. I will sit over here in the corner and enjoy the quiet peace of how we share the coming together in our shared interests and experiences.

I often visualize this place as a kind of pub, and I’m sitting over in the corner, observing the proceedings. “Quiet peace” is my favorite ambiance (really, Reine, it IS!). I guess I have to try and create this atmosphere myself, from found materials, using the space provided…


I don't know what your convictions are, and my existentialist bent inclines me to believe you are free to chose any you want. I know it may cause the greatest discomfort, but what I applaud is your need to seek "reassurance that my convictions are real, and valid, and worth hanging on to." It may seem paradoxical, but the fact that you question your convictions is the very thing that gives them validity.

I also have an existentialist bent, which may or may not be apparent in all of this wordiness. The passage in the OP refers to recent events around here, which left me questioning my need, or desire, to continue posting. The odd thing is, other members told me the exact same thing, from a completely different angle, so, once again, the phrase “You are not alone” carries a lot of weight. This time around, I just wanted to clear out a calm space and enjoy the company. To paraphrase Gaby2, I evaluate my presence on this site daily. Strangely enough, I had most of the OP written, but I added the last paragraph as a much-needed afterthought – it accurately describes my mindset at the present time…
:straightface:


And crossdressers? We don't fit the ideal of either gender. So what? Unless your particular God has passed down definitions of gender, it seems to me that we are free to define our own model. When I was young, I loved Socrates and viewed Protagorous and the Sophists with disdain, but good and bad, right and wrong have gotten a lot more squishy as I got older. The flip side, however, is that I am unable to assert my "right" to crossdressing, and my wife, however much I dislike it, gets to choose her attitude toward it.

I agree that we are free to define our own model, or gender, as we see fit. In many ways I feel I am outside of all definitions, since my crossdressing sprang up of its own volition. I was neither encouraged, nor discouraged, by information, since there wasn’t any within reach (unlike now). I also agree that we get more “squishy” as we get older! I’m a squishy shadow of my former self…


I am an artist as well. I understand your query toward reality. Illusion is painting. This concern opens up a door

Yeah, you could discuss this idea of “reality” endlessly. Painters (or any artist, for that matter) have successfully ditched reality, thanks to the pioneers of modern art, but this is troubling to some people who insist that what they see IS reality. The same notion pops up here, and there is a lot of well-reasoned discussion about reality as it pertains to crossdressing. Much like we decide which definition of “crossdresser” or “transvestite” we adhere to, we also decide what constitutes our definition of reality. It’s frustrating to defend personal definitions, because the other side has a completely different idea of what reality is. I see crossdressing as a form of expression, much like painting, and, since there are all types of painters (including outsiders), it follows that many differing “takes” on reality (and perhaps expression) are present in this TG gathering…


Not a very exciting person here, Pretty quite and laid back. Most of my life is working and sleeping. Sometimes we do a little camping, Although that isn't as much fun as it used to be for me. Very rarely we wil go for a small bike ride. Maybe ride along the canal on Cape Cod. Other then that this website is about it for me.

Thanks for coming, Raychel! I know all about the Worcester area, since my ex-girlfriend was from Gardner, MA – I think she’s still there, in fact I KNOW she is. As such, I used to go to Worcester on many occasions – my GF was Armenian, so we would often go to an Armenian restaurant in the city and then visit the Worcester Art Museum. Just the other day I was looking at old photos of my aunt’s place in Fitchburg, a place I visited many times. I was supposed to end up in this area of central Massachusetts, no doubt shoveling snow forever, but things didn’t work out. I wound up in Kansas, my second choice, but I really wanted to stay in New England…
:sad:

[Joanne f]

Dear Frédérique,
thank you for the invitation to your tea party i would love to join you and your friends so i am excepting your invitation .
Yours sincerely
Joanne.




It may be interesting to see different peoples idea of reality as i feel that there can be two types , one of what you think reality is or should be in your daily way of life and one that can hit you very hard when something unexpected happens that shakes your reality to the core , it will also be interesting to see your art work and to see if the English or Finnish side of you has a stronger influence on your work , i will leave the rest to chatting over a nice cup of tea and cakes at your tea party.
Thank you once again the the invitation .
Joane

[drushin703]

thanks so much frederique for the invite, I just love a party. But "Oh Shit", I think one of your cats put a run in my pantyhose! But thats ok,
I love the company of anyone (male) who leaves the house in a bra and hi heel shoes. We have so much to discuss and possibly so little
in common except, of course, the grandest secret known to modern man; we, sometimes, crossdress.......

a few conditions though: I dont eat pork or crackers cooked in pork fat. I dont drink any alcholic beverages and no dark colas. I love only
modern jazz but can tolerate Chopin.(no Hungarian or Russian folk music please).No rap, Laddy Gaga, or Britney but please play for all to enjoy
as much Jefferson Airplane as possible. I strongly prefer other crossdressers to have on the shortest mini skirts possible and the tallest heels
and speak in the highest most feminine voices.......lol.

I adore cats...dana

[Debutante]

I work in Worcester, MA now.
How interesting.............

[ReineD]

I am determined to do just that, according to your wishes. Try the piirakka, Reine… :)

I happened to have baked one to bring along. Fish, spinach, & cheese pie with dill. My neighbor taught me. It's delicious!

http://polkkapossu.blogspot.com/2009/03/aika-maukasta.html

[Anne2345]

What a wonderful, fantastic tea party! I do apologize for not joining the party and conversation sooner, but I am most decidely a shy girl. I am, however, working hard to overcome my fears and concerns, and hope to join the fun soon!

From where I sit, here in the corner, witnessing a throng of happy party-goers and a magnificent gala affair, I cannot help by notice the beauty of all, and the magic of the moment. All have cast aside their respective differences, and joined as one in celebration and acknowledgement of the sanctity of crossdressing. Crossdressing is, afterall, a transcendent and most glorious gift, a blessed gift to be honored, treasured, and practiced.

But please do not mind me, and continue on with the merriment. I shall the join the festivities presently . . . .

[Frédérique]

Whoops! Too much excitement - I had to have a little rest, so please excuse me. Being 50% Finnish, too much caffeine (Earl Grey) makes me sleepy! It’s true. Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I make myself a cup of coffee, and I drop right off. Another bunch post for y’all…


it will also be interesting to see your art work and to see if the English or Finnish side of you has a stronger influence on your work

I like to keep my artworks and crossdressing separate, at least on this site, but my etchings display a certain fussiness and love of detail, which I attribute to a study of English masters. Scandinavian design influences me, mainly the simple, pure colors and patterns, and that creeps into my paintings. Of course, the many well-known English (and Scottish) painters have their own appreciation of color, and it is definitely not French (I love Cezanne, BTW)! That whole Northern European art tradition is my playground, to be sure. Here, in American Art, color seems to be suspect, and insecurity reigns. There’s lots of contrast (reflecting a black-or-white society), and the subject matter is getting increasingly insular. The East coast is influenced by Europe, The West coast by the Far East, and here in the middle Regionalism prevails…


I think one of your cats put a run in my pantyhose! But thats ok, I love the company of anyone (male) who leaves the house in a bra and hi heel shoes. We have so much to discuss and possibly so little in common except, of course, the grandest secret known to modern man; we, sometimes, crossdress.......
a few conditions though: I dont eat pork or crackers cooked in pork fat. I dont drink any alcoholic beverages and no dark colas. I love only modern jazz but can tolerate Chopin.(no Hungarian or Russian folk music please).No rap, Lady Gaga, or Britney but please play for all to enjoy as much Jefferson Airplane as possible. I strongly prefer other crossdressers to have on the shortest mini skirts possible and the tallest heels and speak in the highest most feminine voices.......lol.

Sorry about the pantyhose! I’ve lost many pairs over the years, but I love my cats… :sad:

That music playing in the background is not the refrigerator making ice – it’s ambient music, but NOT New Age. In fact, I’m playing some “Stars of the Lid,” a group (or duo) from Austin, TX. You won’t be able to tell when the music ends, in fact you can’t tell when it begins, either…
:eek:

I agree that crossdressing is a “grand secret,” and that, alone, is a worthy reason for gathering together like this. I’m glad to hear you don’t drink alcoholic beverages – I stated the same thing over on another thread the other day, and some blessed individual chastised me for being a “martyr!” I apologize for wearing a modest, knee-length skirt, the usual flats, and speaking in a weak voice, but I am a bit overwhelmed being amongst my peers…


Why am I here? Because I BELONG here. I am enmeshed, hypnotised by here. I am a part of the fabric interwoven in the betrayals, the lies, the hurt, the loneliness, the fun, the laughter, the infamy, the hilarity, the surreal, the drama, the backstabbing and the lynching. I might not be able to stay as long as I would like. I would like to stay. I would really like to stay.

I’m feeling a bit “beat up” these days, so I thought I would unwind with this little party. “Why am I here?” would be an excellent topic for discussion, and I really don’t know what the answer is…


From where I sit, here in the corner, witnessing a throng of happy party-goers and a magnificent gala affair, I cannot help by notice the beauty of all, and the magic of the moment. All have cast aside their respective differences, and joined as one in celebration and acknowledgement of the sanctity of crossdressing. Crossdressing is, after all, a transcendent and most glorious gift, a blessed gift to be honored, treasured, and practiced.

I can picture the whole thing in my mind’s eye. Years ago, when I was on that UK discussion forum, I saw a series of photos of a little get-together along these lines. A small group of MtF crossdressers went out for lunch – they were all dressed very modestly, much like I dress, so I was fascinated. There was one picture of one of the trannies that stuck in my memory – just sitting there en femme, enjoying the moment, the company, and the exhilarating notion of being dressed in such a situation. It was all very low-key and happy. I’m sure such a thing could happen here in the U.S., but I can’t picture it happening where I live. However, a tea party like this (at a house) could happen…

I used to host little luncheons for my female art school friends when I lived in Massachusetts. I would clean the whole house and make elaborate preparations, then entertain the ladies during the afternoon. My mother used to host similar get-togethers for her friends, and I would always wind up chatting with the ladies as they sat around the table. In each case, we would all walk around the yard afterwards, looking at the flower gardens. My father used to be conspicuously absent during these “hen” parties (as he called them), but I always stayed close to the women…

The “sanctity” of crossdressing is an interesting idea, Anne – why don’t you write about that? :thinking:

[SarahLynn]

Dear Frédérique (may i call you Freddie) i'm not much of an artist however i seem to have a way with words. Or so i'm told. Mind if i share a bit of poetry with the ladies. It reflects a bit of the area here but in truth it is more about the area just to the east of Denver. I'll keep it low key until you have decided one way or the other. No i really don't mind sharing with the other ladies since i know they will not be sharing beyound this forum.

As an aside, I'll be adding more to one of my stories over at the Writers Society soon. The winter weather here in the Mid-West will be keeping me indoors soon and then I'll break out my notebooks and begin copying into the computer. I'm rather put off my writing by the heat of summer and really don't like to be indoors when all that loverly weather is going on just outside the window.

Thank you for the respite and i'd be pleased to have a bit more of this lovely tea.

SarahLynn

[SarahLynn]

Frédérique luv, there has been a number of requests for more information concerning the vessel in my avatar so i have decided to share a larger photo of this vessel here. I do hope some who have shown an interest will have a peek. This links to wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:USCGCPonchartrainWHEC70_1945.jpg

According to some persons more knowledgable then i am about such things if the Pontchartrain were the size of a WWII battleship the battleship would be undergunned.

Now since you have responded to me concerning a bit of poetry or prose (do hope i don't get into trouble with this) here is something which shares some of what you and other members who live on the high plains have to deal with when it comes to summer storms.

Yes, of coarse this can be seen in the Writers Society but since so few visit there i will share with all our friends here at your Tea Party. As you know this is copywrited thus can not be copied for sale or sharing beyond this forum.

STORM CLOUDS

The prairie grasses are still,
No breath of wind disturbs their surface.
I stand with the insects and watch,
Storm clouds brew in the distance.

A puff of wind foretells a sea of waves
And I see on the horizon,
Lightening strikes where grain meets cloud.
The thunder rolls across the plains,
An unseen hand pushing against the stillness.

The rain falls upon the ground with a roar,
We are engulfed in noise and moisture.
As I turn my face to the sky,
Water rushes to wash dust from my hair and eyes.
And the ground, once hard beneath my feet,
Becomes soft.

With sun on the mountains,
It is time to leave.
I turn to the west,
And gallop across the prairie,
Fetlocks and feathers fly in my wake.

SarahLynn
6July2008

Freddy luv it is so good of you to offer us this wonderfull oppourtunity to share this afternoon with you.

SarahLynn

[kimdl93]

Very sorry for being late for tea. I had a wedding over the weekend.

What a great idea. Fantasy (and reality) is what we make of it, right? I have quickly scanned two pages of conversation, but feel like I need to sit back a moment and catch up.

For the record, I'm a second generation Minnesotan of 100% pure Norwegian descent if there is such a thing...my ancestors visited a lot of the neighboring countries on early cultural exchange missions. So, our traditional gatherings were at "ladies aide" and the beverage was generally coffee. But, tea will certainly be a nice change!