Cross Dressing: Who u r? Or, what u do?

[docrobbysherry]

I've pretty much given up finding, "the female within".:sad:

While I feel VERY close to the MANY CD/TG/TS's I've met here and in person, dressing is simply something I do. However all consuming it is for me!:brolleyes:

Can u describe what it is, or does, for u?:)

[Karren H]

Not really.... Just something I'm driven to do... Like salmon swimming up stream. To spawn and die... Pretty pink salmon.

[Alice B]

Like Karren says. It is something I'm driven to do. Don't know why, just love to do it and feel good about myself when dressed.

[jennCD]

Can't really say why, it's just what it is.... hardwired into my brain to feel normal (whatever that means to me), I guess.
I don't think it's something that can be explained correctly.

:)
jenn

[*Vanessa*]

Don't really know the why, but it has to do with covering up Vanessa in the clothing she likes and think are pretty. Crossdressing to me is a struggle cause it means wearing boy underwear and bluejeans on mostly. Strange but true.

[Nikki A.]

It is what I do and what I feel like when I do it. Do I want to transition, no (always open to change at a later date). But when I do I'd like to be treated as any other woman.

[thechic]

It lets me be me,myself,i,geneva.
protending that i was just a normal guy was killing me,being able to be myself has improved my wellbeing while ive incounterd other issues,im so much better off.jNot hiding is such a relief.

[bridgetta]

Bridgetta is yoga loving health oriented peaceful and loves color and fashion. I like to take my time getting ready. I shop too much. I find i am able to meditate well when i can pursue this side

[cassandra54]

it's a part of my life now, part-time as my male half and loving every minute of it, and part time as my female half and getting better at it every day. it's kind of like i can either be a dumpy-looking old guy or try my hand at being a cute middle-aged woman.

[kellynccd]

Not really.... Just something I'm driven to do... Like salmon swimming up stream. To spawn and die... Pretty pink salmon.

I like that quote, sums my feelings up also!

[Jonianne]

I've pretty much given up finding, "the female within".......

Sounds like you are just settling in just being who you are. And how could that be anything but good!

[Kate Simmons]

Both actually. CDing is a vehicle I've used to get in touch with myself and my feelings.:)

[Elizabeth Ann]

Doc,

You are definitely not alone. I don't feel any female within either. The dressing I like to think of as an indulgence, like my sailing or eating chocolate.

As to your question: who u r? or what u do? Is there really a difference? I know it is popular to talk about the "real" me, which cannot be discerned by my actions. I have always wondered how everyone else has this "real" person hidden from view while I seemed to be nothing more than the person standing before you. I always felt inadequate as a kid because there wasn't any "real" me, that everyone else was carrying around some hidden knowledge that I didn't have. When I finally gave up on the "real" me, it was quite a relief. No need to feel inauthentic: I am what I am. No need to waste time and emotion searching for the "real" me: I get to simply choose what the "real" me is going to be.

I guess what I am saying is that you don't need to have the appropriate and acceptable mind or soul (take your pick) to qualify you for crossdressing. If you simply want to do it, do it.

Liz

[juno]

In the simplest terms, it does the same as for any genetic female. I enjoy pretty things and being pretty.

Crossdressing comes from the "woman within". Some of us become that woman, some of us let her out part-time, and some of us develop into a feminine male. I think that people who don't understand why they dress are still thinking with the male side of their brain. It is an emotional thing, not a logical thing, so you have to think with your feminine side for it to make sense.

[jazmine]

....For me, I believe that I am a soul that has spent more times in the XX carbon-based earth vehicle, than the XY model. This time around I have the XY model. Whatever,.....I'll play the part, it could be interestingly fun i suppose. But anyways, I believe my CX-ing is just a way I reconnect with something I am very familiar with and feel I "connect" with. Even though souls are genderless,... I do think some have dispositions that are more yin than yang, and others, yang than yin. Does this make sense? I think I just confused myself, LOL!

[suchacutie]

Some of these questions are hard to answer succinctly, and this may be one of them, but I'll give it a try:

1) It is clearly something that I do. Then again, most of what I do is who I am. Isn't that true for most things? I'm a classical musician. It's what I do and it's certainly a part of who I am! Ah...part, maybe that's the issue:

2) There is clearly a masculine part of me. No doubt. But it's become clear that there is also a feminine part so I must also answer that Tina is also who I am, just not all of who I am.

I guess that means that Tina is a part of who I am, therefore it is a part of what I do!

That sounds awfully cyclic!

[NathalieX66]

Sherry....be satisfied with the word is.
I think you did pretty good at SCC, even without the femskin.
I would say that a good proportion of CD'ers, and TG's have no idea what they're doing, or why....it just is.
We just is.
Like the Beatles swan song, and last album Let It Be.

[BrookCD]

As my wife says it is just part of who I am. Before I got sick ( Lymphoma) It would not be unheard of from me to go from training at the range in full SWAT gear ( Can we say masculine pursuit) to coming home and lounging around watching tv in my long silky night gown. I see it as being the whole me.

[VioletJourney]

I made this thread once. It's what I do, I try not to let what I do define me.

[Stephenie S]

I REALLY don't think there is an answer to this question. It just is.

You can waste a very large part of your life obsessing over this question. Why not just get out an enjoy it. Who cares why?

S

[MsJanessa]

Like Karren says. It is something I'm driven to do. Don't know why, just love to do it and feel good about myself when dressed.

Ditto---I learned long ago not to question it, just enjoy it

[Taylor186]

My philosophy is that if you know why you do it, then you're not really a crossdresser. For me, as others have said, it is an innate drive that occasionally needs addressed: and I'm lucky to have a wife that allows me that luxury. I'm the same person whether dressed in a feminine or masculine manner though my external behaviors certainly differ. And, of course, how others react with me differs too.

[Carmen]

The woman inside of me is always crying to be let out of this male exterior. In life, my thinking is very different from the mens perspective.
I find myself thinking like a womane 75% of the time, (if that is possible).
I wnat to be accepted and function as a woman in society.
I love getting all made up, dress up and go out and be treated as a lady.
I'm only truly happy during those times.

[sissystephanie]

I REALLY don't think there is an answer to this question. It just is.
You can waste a very large part of your life obsessing over this question. Why not just get out an enjoy it. Who cares why?S

I would have to totally agree with this response!! There really isn't an answer to the question that covers everybody on this forum!!

[Rachel Morley]

This is a copy and paste from another thread:

It's more about expressing on the outside what I feel on the inside. Plus, to be blunt, if I could make a wish that would come true, I want to be female, but I can't be ... not if I want to keep the life I have, so emulating women and seeing them as my role models is the next best thing. There's other complicated emotions at play for me too involving wanting to emasculate myself and distance myself from having to conform to societal expectations of being "masculine" but for the most part, it's about me being me .. the real me inside.

[Intertwined]

This may not be helpful?

1st, What am I: I am Human / Homo Sapien, my DNA makes me unique from every other Human.

2nd, Who am I: I am Marshall, aka, Marsha sometimes Intertwined, my Beliefs, my feelings, my experiences, my spirit, my soul, also make me unique from every other Human.

NOW, to your question; It is like trying to explain why, I like "Liver & Onions", I just do, most people I know would rather go hungry than eat it. Does this make me a freak? NO, it just means I have different tastes than most people I know.

[Angela2me]

I have been playing with this question for the past few months with this site as fuel. I do not expect to find any definitive answer, but to better understand where I am comfortable.
My answers so far:
I wear femme panties because they are more comfortable than any drab briefs I can find.
When I put on a comfortable dress, it just feels normal, comfortable, natural.
If I look at myself in the mirror wearing a dress, I see me looking normal.
When I put on makeup or wig or bra and forms, it feels like I am wearing a costume, not so comfortable.
If I look at myself in the mirror with the costume and dressed, I see me pretending to be someone else.
If I want to wear the dress outside my closet, I need to add the costume. It is a compromise to go outside.
I am me, a male who likes the natural feel of wearing curtain femme clothing items, it is not sexual, just comfortable. I have some male traits and some femme traits. I nice balance I think. I am in individual.

Angela

[Jessica86]

I am actually glad you look at this the way you do Sherry. I wonder the same thing sometimes. I think it's interesting to see the different types of people we have here. I always think I am alone, but the truth is a better term is unique. Each and every one of us are so unique, but we share a common interest. Someone might talk about being hetero or homosexual. Another about dressing for gratification or expression. The fact is if we are talking about hair styles, shoes, skirts and heels you have my full attention! That is what it is all about. I think more interesting things would pop up if we understood "how" and "why" we do what we do.

[sanderlay]

My philosophy is that if you know why you do it, then you're not really a crossdresser.

This statement speaks to me because of who I feel like. I don't feel completely male and I don't feel completely female. And yet my life experience has taught me to act male... and think male. And yet my feminine side is still there. It comes to the surface of my personality wishing to express itself. And I do that in how I speak... how I react... and the clothing I wear.

Because I am anatomically male some call my feminine clothing crossdressing. They make a distinction between male clothing and female clothing. And my life experience with males and females has given me my own fashion sense of what feminine and masculine clothing is. I like skirts and I'm drawn to them like a magnet.

If there was a third gender that was male/female I would choose that. That's how I feel and express myself. But after much research I have found bi-gender and two-sprited person. These terms seems to describe who I am.


docrobbysherry wrote: Can u describe what it is, or does, for u?

The only way I can explain this, in some limited way, is to tell you if I try to stop. I have tried... I have removed all my feminine clothing from my life. I have submerged myself in male costumes. And yet the desire... the urge... nearly a compulsion to dress in feminine attire returns.

When I wear the clothing I feel great. It's almost like getting a pill that relives my stress... my anxiety. I feel like myself. Another person described it as an indulgence... and perhaps it is. Like a person has a drink or a drug to feel better about life. For me it's is the feminine attire.

I think the explanation is my feminine side need to express herself. If she does not I become depressed. I feel I am denied a part of who I am. And for me that includes my masculine side. I must express that as well.

[Tina B.]

For me, what it is, is a relief value, I go for a while, not dressing,and never giving it a thought, then one day I wake up and feel a urge well up inside, A pull to all things feminine. The feel of that silk blouse that hangs in the closet, calling out to me, the call of the hose as i search my drawer for a pair of underwear. I find myself watching chick TV, Project runway, and top model, longing to wear those clothes.
Then if I still put it off, I start to get grumpy,argumentative, and just plain hostile. Until I find myself unable to sleep, then I will rise up in the middle of the night, and get dressed, make up, wig, the whole thing, at that point, I start to feel good, good about me, who I am, and how I see the world, things are normal.What it is, I don't know, what it does, it keeps me fit to be a member of the larger society, and all that inward rage suppressed, in my case, it really does make me a better person, maybe not all that good, but better.
Tina B.

[kelsey52]

I know how you feel, sometimes it just hits you hard and you just can't stop it. I try to go to bed everynight in some type of sexy night gown to keep me CALM.

[KrystalA]

What it does for me is make me feel incredibly feminine. Maybe my imagination is overactive, but when I'm fully en femme, and properly tucked, I really feel (as much as it is possible for a male of the species to feel) like I have breasts and a pussy. I have no idea whether or not that is unusual for CDers, but it just feels so normal and natural to let my feminine side take over.

[Frédérique]

Cross Dressing: Who u r? Or, what u do?

I am definitely a kind of F E G, and it brings me X T C… :rc:

[Elizabeth Ann]

Too clever for me. What is an F E G?

[Cynthia Anne]

The inner me wants the outer me to look and feel the same throughout!

[marlaNYC]

so many great responses on this post and i really enjoyed reading them, equating with my own thoughts. Angela2me's 'normal' feelings are particularly evocative for me. i'm as much the femme me as i am the male me at this point, which has taken many years to arrive at. it's still something i do and, yes, there is still a sexual element to it in certain circumstances. but just on a day to day basis, it is who i am and what i do

[marlacd]

Part of my want to dress, comes from my deep admiration of women, and how they live and deal with life. I want to be just like them. (the good parts) And I too have that drive that wants me to be fem. It make me feel good when I dress and I do feel a calming effect that helps me deal with life's issues. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[sara.s]

I've pretty much given up finding, "the female within".:sad:

Welcome to my club! I cant find "her" either within me. I don't feel feminine after wearing crossdressing either, and don't find underdressing any special nor do i crossdress any bit at home even while staying alone. i find dressing up as guy/girl/whatever amusing if i feel i look good (and also feel good). I dress up once/twice a month only to go out and meet other cds.. I cant narrow it down to just one reason why i want to do that.

[t-girlxsophie]

I gave up long ago trying to answer the unanswerable,there is a feeling of serenity when im dressed.One thing I know is that I just Loooove! what I do,and who I am:)

Sophie

[CarlaWestin]

I don't know, I can't remember what I was doing when I started this, like, 46 years ago.

[sometimes_miss]

Crossdressing is what we do; the 'why' part determines what we are, and there's usually more to it than just wearing the clothes, or you wouldn't find so many of us using female pronouns, female names, wearing wigs, female jewelry, wanting to learn how to walk like a girl, talk like a girl, apply make up, get our eyebrows done, shave ourselves like a female, etc.. For a lot, there's a huge homophobic thing going on, after all, that's the type of upbringing we've had, and it can take years or even never to be able to face that side. I'll be the first to admit that for decades I really didn't know why I always felt like I HAD to dress up, or I would go crazy. And I don't know if everyone really wants to know. For some, the behavior is self limiting, and goes no further.

[Cheryl T]

Just this incredible need to express my femininity for me.
We just spent a week on vacation (wife and I) and it was my first time femme all week. At the end it was so difficult to revert back and I find myself wishing I didn't. Now I just want to plan another week like that...maybe more...I was so at ease I can put it into words.

[Audreyanne]

It is not who I am because there is more to me than crossdressing. Perhaps it is part of me because there is a compulsion to do it. Mostly, however, I think it is something that I do sometimes.

[KarenS]

Can't really say why, it's just what it is.... hardwired into my brain to feel normal (whatever that means to me), I guess.
jenn

I would agree. Crossdressing feels VERY normal to me sometimes. At other times, it makes me feel extreemly out-of-place. I can't put my finger on whey for either case.

Just don't make me stop.

[Carmen]

What it does for me is make me feel incredibly feminine. Maybe my imagination is overactive, but when I'm fully en femme, and properly tucked, I really feel (as much as it is possible for a male of the species to feel) like I have breasts and a pussy. I have no idea whether or not that is unusual for CDers, but it just feels so normal and natural to let my feminine side take over.

Krystal you must have read my thoughts! This is my mindset whenever Linsey is out there.

[SusanQ]

I wear female garments for a really strange, bizarre reason...

...they feel good :)

(I can't believe that anyone would really think that a pair of boxer shorts, or worse yet, those awful jockey shorts, feel better than a nice pair of nylon panties.)

[Ann Thomas]

"I am what I am"
- Popeye

[noeleena]

Hi,

Because i design make & sew them no point hanging in the cubboard, is there, & i display them = wearing them to large do's get to gethers, & so on & down the streets all dressed up. a show off if you like .

main reason 's i can i do i like being able to & im a woman , simple i think.

...noeleena...

[SusanLCD]

A few examples to help explain.

Yesterday, I found a nice pair of brown 3" heels on clearance (brown Mary Janes; $19.99.) When the person at the cashier completed his transaction, the female cashier looked at me and said "I can help you over here, maam." That began a brief dialogue about card processing, shoe styles, and clearance pricing that I would never have experienced in drab.

At a super market, GGs within the market chuckled and/or commented with me as we attempted to pass our shopping carts within the confines of the crowded aisles. Later, as the GG cashier was ringing up my grocery purchases, she commented her approval about a lipliner that I had selected.

I live for these interpersonal exchanges in a world where drab me would otherwise have been excluded or looked at suspiciously.

Even though I'm aware that my physical size reduces my effectivity at blending, in my head, I blend. When I'm dressed, I feel soft, vulnerable, appreciative (when someone holds a door or seats me), smiling inside (when someone says I look nice), pleasantly flattered when someone flirts (yes, it happened), and all those other feelings that come with a personna that doesn't have to be strong and stalwart. I can understand and, more importantly, feel why it is that some want to be with someone who will take the weight of the world off of their shoulders for awhile and treat them as something special.

I would know none of this in my XY world.

[Patricia Jane]

I enjoy dressing in Women's clothing. I do it as often as I can, and that is usually ever day. I do it for my own pleasure and not to hurt or harm anyone!

[Daphne Renee]

I dont know both maybe. I dont dress en femme often but I certainly enjoy the times I do get to.

[eluuzion]

Everything I do is just something I do, that originates from cognitive thought in my brain which is ultimately translated into motivation and physical manifestation of observable behaviors and action. There is simply one entity (me) displaying different behaviors. There are no “other” anythings…imaginary or otherwise, that exist inside me, outside me or in other dimensions (like the internet,lol), that are capable of producing anything.

“What I am” is something I refer to as “my character”.

And…in spite of what you might be thinking,
Here is what I what I am not…
I is not a retard!

If you don’t believe me, just ask my imaginary friend, she will verify it!

:love:

[Skyeyes]

I only under dress. I started to try women's underwear on at a very early age, 7 or 8. I loved the feel of panties, bras and slips. I have not lost that love. I find that wearing panties, bras, camisoles, slips and stockings really make me feel calm and contented. It is very difficult to verbalize. It just feels right.