Have You Lost That Girly Feeling, Too?

[Holly]

Marla's thread about Angel losing her desire to get all girlie is a great read and challenges us once more to take a look at ourselves. Click here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16180)to check it out! But while I was reading it, a question of my own came up... do GG's ever lose interest in getting girlie and feeling feminine? Or is this a phenomenom peculiar only to MTF CDers? How about it GG's? Has this ever happened to you? Have any of you CDers ever noticed your GG lose her desire to be fem?

[MistyCD]

Holly, I work in the retail sector and I have seen first hand that real GG's no matter how old or young do not dress fem. I would say the number one attire for GG's these days are blue jeans and flip flops.... so it does not surprise me if a CD wishes not to dress anymore or takes a break from dressing...

hugs Misty

[Stephanie Kay]

....Have any of you CDers ever noticed your GG lose her desire to be fem?

I think this depends on what being fem is all about. I have always thought that being a CD in the presence of my wife has challenged her view of her own femininity. She is generally not the kind of woman to wear frilly, girly stuff (like I want to:o ). No high heels, corsets, short skirts, make-up. But she is still feminine. She is comfortable with her own type of natural femininity and would never regard herself as un-feminine.

So, no, she has never admitted to losing her desire to be fem? She wears comfortable but clearly female chothing, very colorful, soft, and flowing (some that I would love to try on if only I weren't so much bigger that her!;)). So whose or what definition should we use for "fem"? The male definition? The CD definition? The GG definition? I think these may all be different and there may even be differences within the GG population, too!

So, Holly a very complex question!! Let's see what GGs have to say.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I guess it depends on what you mean by "fem."

If you mean being a girlie girl, than yeah, lots of GGs prefer more practical/comfortable stuff. They may enjoy getting glammed up for a special occasions, but investing all that time on a daily basis can understandably be tiresome.

If you mean in the sense of being put together in your appearance, there's plenty of evidence from "What Not to Wear" of GGs, who for various reasons, have let themselves go -- usually they're feeling overwhelmed by life and so the outside reflects their inner weariness.

Anyway, I'll let the GGs speak for themselves.

[oztallulah]

Yes, I believe there are times when the 'CD' feels like not being womanly. I do from time to time. Such times the jeans and t shirt come out together with the boots. I really have no 'going out' social life as a girl so there is probably not the need for being like it at a specific time, but I also find that the occasional time away from the femme side of me, makes it all the more special when I go to the wardrobe the next time. As for many, many 'GG's' these days, they just wanna be one of the boys I guess. A lot of them are actually developing the walk to go with the talk as well. Which is fine, as long as they don't have a problem with my being femme, and walking the walk??

[Jenny1]

Many a time I come home from work and all I feel like doing is slobbing out. Since my fiancee really began to understand my needs she encourages me to dress as often as possible once the kids are in bed I spent a long time yearning for acceptance and I now feel guilty when I don't feel like it. Surely even us girls have times when they just want to couch.

[Tamara Croft]

Yes Holly, some days I just don't feel like a woman at all and just want to lay about in loose clothing. It's a bit different for me though, because over the years I've always been a trousers/suit person. But in the last year, that has changed so much. I wear more skirts now than I ever have I think in my entire life (no I kid you not). I can go for weeks without looking glam and then I can go for weeks wanting to put makeup on everyday, do my hair etc... and then I go back to the 'can't be bothered' stage. Why? I have no idea :Pullhair:

[AngGG]

Do I like getting dressed up and going out? YES!!! But to do so in my everyday life is just not practical. I have 3 kids that are 12, 15, & 16. They have me running day and night. I work alot and come home and work some more. When I finally get into bed its around 9:30-10:00 ...even then my day is not over. So getting dressed up and doing make-up every day?...well most days there is just no time. My job is not the type of job where nice clothes are worn...unless I want to buy a new wardrobe everyday. Jeans, T-shirt, hair in a ponytail, no make up is my typical day. Nights though I usually wear something soft:o

The "girly" clothes that I wear everyday are out of necessity...can't have things hanging where they're not supposed to. :D But even those...most nights I can't wait to get out of them!

[Marla GG]

Have any of you CDers ever noticed your GG lose her desire to be fem?


Interesting question, Holly. It made me wonder, do I ever HAVE a desire to be fem in the first place? How can I "desire" to be something that I already am? I mean I don't desire to be 5'4" or have gray eyes. You can only desire something you don't have (or might lose).....right?

Fem is my natural state. I don't particularly desire it.

However, there are times when I may emphasize my femininity by drawing attention to what is delicate and soft about me. My reasons for doing so are not driven by an innate desire, though. They are practical, instrumental reasons: what is the occasion, who is going to see me, and how do I want them to perceive me? Dressing for work is different from dressing for dinner out, which is different again from dressing for gardening. I have an image that I want to present (or need to adopt) in each case and that dictates my clothing choices.

Tamara is also right in saying that sometimes we can't be bothered. But for me, that just comes from not having the time or energy. Is doesn't relate to losing some inner urge to be fem, because I never had that urge to begin with.

It would be true to say there are days (years?) when I don't feel pretty and nothing can change that, certainly not clothes and makeup. But I'm still not sure that "pretty" and "fem" are the same thing. One is about attractiveness, and the other is about gender identity. Those are very different categories in my opinion.

I have a headache now. What was the question again? :bonk:

[Celeste GG]

Oh yes, I know those can't be bothered days!

But that's also part of being girlie.... the RIGHT to change your mind!

[Billijo49504]

The only experience I have is my very SO, she may wear jeans most of the time, but to get her to go out of the house without doing her hair or makeup, the house would have to be burning. And her jeans, not the cheap ones, or as she tells me, are a few dollars more than mine. It may not be dresses or skirts, but my lady doesn't dress shabby, or in the same thing several days in a row. We have one bedroom upstairs that is now a closet. The whole room. And yes I spoil her, cus she has been putting up with me for almost 21 years.

[Holly]

Thanks to all who have responded so far. My basic thought behind the question is really quite simple... although there are many marvelous differences between our birth genders I believe men and women share many common or similar feelings as well, one of them being that every once in awhile we both just want to say to heck with it and take the path of least resistence concerning our birth and adopted gender roles, respectfully. Sometimes a CDer may come to the conclusion that it's all just too much trouble and causes too many problems and have a genuine desire to step away from it for a time. Those times, for me at least, have been times of inward reflection and self evaluation... often painful but ALWAYS productive... at least as far as discovering more about myself. I was just wondering if GG's ever took a "time out" to contemplate if being a woman is all what it's cracked up to be? I have to ask, because, regeretably, I will never have the opportunity to actually KNOW what it is like to be a GG... and I'm not willing to delude myself into thinking that I will ever be able to understand, comprehend, or appreciate all the little nuances that make a GG who she is. All I can say is that I will continue to observe, ask, and interface into their world as much as I am allowed in order to understand all that I am able to. Again, thanks for all who have responded... you have been very helpful.

[Stephanie Kay]

Well-stated and thoughtful, Holly! Thank you!:)

[Marla]

Being girlie is what it is all about. If I don't have panties and some make up on I don't feel complete.

[LaceLuvr's GG]

I prefer not to be "girlie". I am much happier in baggy t-shirts and sweats, my hair thrown up in a messy bun, and no make up. It is actually quite rare for me to want to feel "girlie".

[Kimberly]

our findings??

... Each to their own.

:) (Wise words from the Kimberly-machine :D)