Confidence problem

[Evana]

Once or twice a month I will go to a local second-hand store, pick up a few items and the in the men's dressing room to try them on. Last time I found a tight fitting pair of jeans that I can barely fit in and bought them. I don't have the courage to go to a department store and do the same thing. I need to build up my confidence before doing that.

I would love to have a CD buddy to go out shopping together.

[Karren H]

No one cares what you try on or buy especially those god forsaken woman's jeans!! Lol. If you have a Walmart with self checkouts and are embarrassed to buy any fem things then go there. As long as the ring up properly no one will know and you don't have to face a check out girl..... A shopping buddy will not really help you overcome this personal barrier... Imho.

[Stephanie47]

At many of my local stores the try on rooms, male or female, have private cubicles. If you're self conscious about jeans, take a mixture of male and female jeans into the dressing room. I have to take several pairs of guy jeans into the room just to make sure of the proper fit, so an extra pair or two of girl jeans wouldn't seem unusual over the arm. Now, taking several brightly colored dresses into a dressing area would make 99 44/100th of us feel self conscious, including me. When I've purchased what I feel is the proper size dress in a retail store, I usually ask for a gift box. I take it home, and, if it does not fit I return it.

PS: I never wear feminine jeans! June Cleaver or Harriet Nelson in jeans-never!

[Amanda22]

It's natural to be afraid and have no confidence when starting out. When someone says, "no one cares what you do," believe them.

[MackenzieMarigold]

One thing I feel I should say, is about your username "wish i was a girl". Clearly you ARE a girl! It's all about what you have on the inside!! There's no reason to be ashamed of what you do at a store anyway. No one will care, besides, it's not like you'll talk to these people ever again if they say anything. And hey, it might even help you if someone notices. You might see that people aren't going to be totally hostile about it. But that's up to you to find out. Just take small steps out of your comfort zone, and slowly advance to where you want to go. It's that simple. Forget what people think. Would you rather them hate you for being you, or would you rather them love the "you" that you show to the world? If they don't like you for you, they aren't worth the time.

[sissystephanie]

As Amanda said, "No one cares what you do!" That is so true. The large majority of people do not pay any attention to what you are buying in any store, unless maybe you are buying something very expensive!! I have been buying women's clothing for myself for over 60 years and have never had a problem doing so. I do not always try on dresses in the store, unless it is Avenue or similar!! I do like Stephanie47 and take the dress home in a gift box. I normally wear a size 16 or extra large, and rarely have to take anything back!! Just remember, your dollars are as good as anyone elses and every store wants them!!

[Stephenie S]

Oh, absolutely! That's how a store pays it's bills. Really, honest and true, NO store cares anything about you as long as you bring money.

Want to make a new friend quick? Start piling clothes up next to the register. The SA will fall all over herself helping you. Once you get into it, it's fun. Honest. Haven't you heard? Women have known this for years and years. Shopping is actually FUN.

There is NOTHING to be "afraid" of. Come on. You know how. You do it at the auto parts store. The clerk (SA) asks you if he can help you. You tell him what you want. He tells you where it is, or he gets it for you. It's just the same in a clothing store. You might want to try on whatever it is before you pay for it. There's little rooms to do this in. They are called "dressing" or "changing" rooms.

Stephie

[Jodi]

You have now read in the preceding posts that noone cares. I echo these thoughts.

Now--confidence comes from within. We can not give you confidence. You must master that yourself.

Jodi

[Dami]

Although I agree with just about everyone else when they say nobody cares, I do think if you are able to find a shopping buddy who has a high self confidence it could give you moral support to build your own confidence.
That said try this first and see if it helps.
Go out of your town to a town where you aren't known, and try buying stuff on your own, you will build confidence super fast as yuou will very quickly notice that what everyone says is right, nobody cares and even if they do they won't dare say anything to you, and if they talk about you after you leave, who cares you don;t know them they don't know you are anyone you know either.

[Eryn]

Confidence comes with experience. Take femme item to counter. Pay for it. Note that Gender Police didn't appear. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Frankly, I'd be a bit more nervous in a thrift store, since the people working there are often volunteers who might not be as well trained in sales skills as someone at a retail shop.

When I shop en drab and I want to try an obviously femme item I might camouflage it with a couple of male jacket or somesuch. Don't get too carried away with concealing items, though, as you might be observed by a loss-prevention person who might peg you for a shoplifter.

Shopping en femme is so much easier, but that takes a while to work up to! :)

[HottyHeather]

I love shopping at JC Pennys , Kohls and Debs I never exp any problems and the sales assoc. were always helpful . Oh! and I can't forget Payless shoes I just love the stileetto heels. I saw a pair on line wow they were cute!

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree with Eryn! Confidence will grow the more you go! Years ago I use to buy my bras in drab! I have been to bra fittings in drab! You go girl and you will see it gets easeir each time! Hugs!

[susangirl]

Hello wish I was a girl,

I have only been going out as Susan in open public for five weeks. Before (past six years) I would only go out at night and be very careful not let people really see me up close. I burned a ton gas driving around the Atlanta area. One day I just parked the car and walked into the ladies area of a department store. For all these years I thought the world would stop if I got caught all dressed up as a woman in public. I was wrong. The SA are mostly very very nice and sure some people look at you a little funny but I have found I like that also. Its great walking through a store dressed in a pencil skirt, sheer stocks (shaved legs, only way to go) 4 inch heels and a nice top. I think I only pass to 25 - 30 percent of the people that really look at me. But you know, I have a great time dressing up as Susan and going out. I wish I had gotten out sooner. Confidence comes with practice and practicing is fun.

[Clueless]

Like everyone else has said: the only obstacle is in your mind. "Free your mind"

Remember that the store wants you to spend your $ with them, not online.

I don't know if this will help, but this is how I've been doing it for the last 2 months. I make a game out of the whole thing. I pretend that I'm a Commando ( wearing panties, not going commando! ) doing a high risk behind the lines OP or raid. Qui audet adipiscitur. Here's my proven successful mission & battle plans:

Mission plan.
1) ID mission objectives: Procurement of ( panties ) & flirtation with fun hott females.
2) Primary target: Women's ( intimate apparel display rack )
3) Secondary target: Fun hott females.
4) Required equipment: Well groomed clean smelling body in age appropriate casual clothes. Money roll with crisp Benjamins on outside. No cell phone, leave in car. Shopping basket.
5) Weapons: Warm smile & soft/kind eyes.
6) Defensive armament: The look or illusion of Confidence.

Battle plan:
1) Reconnoiter exfiltration point searching for secondary targets: Look for females at check out that you want to flirt with.
2) Final equipment check: Visit restroom to check face, nose & teeth for flaws. Arm weapon systems; Smile
3) Reconnoiter primary target: Walk by ( intimate apparel rack ) looking for enemy forces ( teenage females with cell phone cameras ), and infil. & exfil. routes. Gather decoy items.
4) Attack!: If clear ( don't worry about random adults, only teenagers ) go to target & make selection. Don't look around, that only draws enemy fire.
5) Time on target: Keep as short as possible. Get in, get out. Cute Brianna at register may turn into big Brad if you wait too long!
6) Exfiltration: Use decoys to cover target in basket while calmly walking to registers.

7) Dust off: Find cute cashier, ditch decoy & have fun! Smile, flirt, compliment her on something; hair, outfit, tattoos, piercings whatever. Don't ogle her! Look at her eyes but don't stare. Don't fiddle with the target or anything. Put it down, it's hers until you pay & it's in the bag. Be calm & cool. Don't say anything about the target. Let her ask you about them if she wants to. Always thank her. I've had many a fun & sometimes long conversation after the sale. VS gets brought up a lot by them, I may need to buy some VS panties for cred. If she calls BS, show a bit of your hip. Watch her eyes & smile get bigger. I need to buy some more panties....

IMHO unless you have a female shopping buddy, do it alone. Not a good idea to try flirting while with another female.

[kristinacd55]

No one cares what you try on or buy especially those god forsaken woman's jeans!! Lol. If you have a Walmart with self checkouts and are embarrassed to buy any fem things then go there. As long as the ring up properly no one will know and you don't have to face a check out girl..... A shopping buddy will not really help you overcome this personal barrier... Imho.

This is true.....I went with another tg buddy shopping and it helped a little bit but when we went to checkout she ended up paying for my stuff while i ran off to the car. I've shopped a lot since then in drab, but mostly with my wife. It all comes down to what's in your head. You just have to have the attitude that noone else cares and if they do that's their problem!

[Dannigirl]

Totally true about the shopping buddy not helping, I go with my wife all the time and as soon as she leaves my side I get all nervous. Is totally stupid that I feel this way I know and my wife tells me the same thing. She could care less about a guy in the women's section, before she knew me and about my CD'ing and after as well. What is really crazy is I feel much more comfortable going by myself dressed up and wandering around the women's section. So if you feel you look great dressed up, give it a go.

[kimdl93]

The best way to gain confidence is to go out and do it. You can expect to be nervous, but don't let that stop you. As you've already read - most people won't notice you one way or the other (regardless of your attire) and the rest won't care.

[Jorja]

STOP! Relax, take a deep breath, head for the checkout counter.

[Maxi]

Just relax. After my last shopping trip to JCPenny, I have learned that being confident makes all the difference. I was wandering around the dress department in drab with a dress over my arm, and the sales associate treated me very respectfully, and tried to be helpful. It was a very nice experience. Just act like you would in power tools, and I don't mean like Tim Allen would with power tools either. No reason to hurry in and out. Take your time and look for what interests you.

[SarahLynn]

.... I echo these thoughts.

Now--confidence comes from within. We can not give you confidence. You must master that yourself. Jodi

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not being afraid to be wrong.

SA = sales assistant.

As you have been told, buy what you want and try them on anytime you are not sure if it fits. Trust us the SA's want the sales and could care less if you are a man buying womens clothes or a lady buying womens clothes. They want the sale. Especialy if you are buying in a department store where the SA's are on commission. Ask for a bit of help and the girls/men will fall over themselves to make sure you get exactly what you want.

[Babeba]

A lot of posters have a lot of sound advice from experience here. FWIW, I absolutely love thrift stores (I could go on about them for ages) - some of the cutest things I own come from there. It might be worth while learning a few different mending/alteration techniques by taking a class or watching youtube - it will really expand what you look at in those stores. Just think of all the money you save (to spend on more clothes!) at thrift stores.

I like the advice of asking for a gift box/receipt. Let the cashiers make their own assumptions, and make sure you use/recycle those boxes! :-)

[lost alice]

i wish i was a girl hi i know exactly how you feel exempt for the fact that you already have the condense to go to a store be it a second hand store but still you go out and try things on i can't even do that for as long as i can remember every one i knew looked down apon dressing the way you want personally for me i want to be pretty nice flowing dress cute heels make up hair done nice nails but never was able to i still am scared to but you have to conference to go out so deep down you know you can do it

[silkeze]

I wouldn't mind going shopping. I live in se Texas how about you?