Why other men do not want to cross dress?

[Kittyagain]

After just reading another "Why" thread I thought a different approach might freshen the discussion.. Maybe we are going about this backward. Maybe we should figure out why other men do not want to or can't experience the pleasure we get from dressing.

I really do not have a clue other than they have a stronger grip on masculinity than I do. I would still guess 95% of all males have tried on panties, the question is though why did they not keep going like we did?

Kitty

[VioletJourney]

Social stigmas, mostly, and maybe they simply don't want to. As a musician I say the same thing: Why don't other people want to play music? The only good explanation is that it doesn't appeal to them like it does to me.

[Karren H]

Because they don't have to....

[MackenzieMarigold]

It's like asking why we don't dress like boys. FREE WILL!! That's the beauty of life. We can be whomever we want to be =)

[*Vanessa*]

They're all at the pub drinking beer, burping and scratching the package. When they're all done there it's the hockey game and killing large animal, in fact the larger the better. They would gladly killing some animal that has life years and years and call it a trophy.

But I digress:

I have no idea!

[chloe23]

Plenty of Testosterone

[sara.s]

IMO they keep going like we do... but they just are too closeted.

[prettytoes]

They're all at the pub drinking beer, burping and scratching the package. When they're all done there it's the hockey game and killing large animal, in fact the larger the better. They would gladly killing some animal that has life years and years and call it a trophy.

But I digress:

I have no idea!
I enjoy hunting those large animals, I just do it in a bra and panties! Not just for the trophy, we use all the meat. I don't kill just for the sake of killing, and most of my hunting is with a bow and arrow. I have been listed in the Pope and Young record book for a black bear that was record class with a bow. And I don't drink beer, or scratch the package!

[BRANDYJ]

Most are just not man enough to accept and realize their softer more feminine side. But really, that's like me asking why every man does not like fishing, golf, or football. Viva la difference!

[Cynthia Anne]

Because they don't have to....

That is soo deep! I don't think I will try to come up with a better answer! Thank you!

[LilSissyStevie]

I doubt that 95% of guys have tried on panties. Everybody knows that panties are infected with gay cooties. First it's panties, next it's knee pads. It's only OK to touch panties when you're taking them off a female.

[Karren H]

That is soo deep! I don't think I will try to come up with a better answer! Thank you!

Some time even I can find an acorn under the old oak tree? Lol.

Ok. How's this......... because every single male secretly wants to crossdress but they are afraid what their mommy and daddy will think... They are all insecure bed wetters and they aren't man ennough to put on a dress like the rest of us?? That more what everyone wants to hear? :D.

[Eryn]

I doubt that 95% of guys have tried on panties. Everybody knows that panties are infected with gay cooties. First it's panties, next it's knee pads. It's only OK to touch panties when you're taking them off a female.

Y'know, now there is an experiment a curious CDer could try. Take a pair of floral satin panties into the men's dressing room. Leave them on a hook with a subtle tell-tale to detect if they have been moved from the hook. Wait until an experimental subject uses the room. Go in afterwards to see if the panties have been disturbed. Repeat until bored.

I'll bet that a fair percentage of guys won't be able to resist a ready opportunity to sample forbidden fruit! :)

[HottyHeather]

i always wondered if i were a woman would i want to dress like a man.I enjoy everything about dressing up but recently have not done soo.I have to say my favorite part was going out buying new shoes and thigh highs, make me feel Oh! like a woman

[*Vanessa*]

I enjoy hunting those large animals, I just do it in a bra and panties! Not just for the trophy, we use all the meat. I don't kill just for the sake of killing, and most of my hunting is with a bow and arrow. I have been listed in the Pope and Young record book for a black bear that was record class with a bow. And I don't drink beer, or scratch the package!

So what's you point?

Want to take a swipe at someone, fine be my guest, but not me. That last line 'IS' the joke.

You have absolutely no idea who I am or what and how I hunter. I have been recorded to side with a Grizzle sow and her two cub for over 1 hour, been with black bear, Elk, big horn and all trophies. ALL including me have our skin.

[Elizabeth Ann]

They're all at the pub drinking beer, burping and scratching the package. When they're all done there it's the hockey game and killing large animal, in fact the larger the better. They would gladly killing some animal that has life years and years and call it a trophy.

But I digress:

I have no idea!

Wait! What do you do when the package itches? Can I drink beer if I am not in a pub?

[bridgetta]

This is a GREAT question .

I think the way to begin is describe the mood we have when dont feel like doing it. I tell u its great but after a while its uncomfortable. Its Nice to put on normal sweatpants and just chill out. not always being stimulated is neccesary also.

But i really dont know why other men dont do it. Each guy i know over my life has addresses it in theur own wAy. I know most have tried it because it just sort of happens but i think they dont stick with it out of fear. Fear of enjoying it. And fear of becoming gay. Or what it means. I find that ambiguity fascinating and revealing. Unfolding of consciousness.

[*Vanessa*]

Wait! What do you do when the package itches? Can I drink beer if I am not in a pub?

:lol2: ;) Is that a banjo I hear playing in the background? - KIDDING!!

[LilSissyStevie]

:lol2: ;) Is that a banjo I hear playing in the background? - KIDDING!!

Oh, that must have been me. I practice while I'm sitting in front of the computer.:tongueout

[cassandra54]

:lol2: ;) Is that a banjo I hear playing in the background? - KIDDING!!

you aint from around here are you? you sure got pretty lips.

[cassandra54]

that's a good question really. if you think about it, we're pretty lucky. if you work at it, most of us can pass as a woman and then assimilate into society in some way. that might sound creepy to some people but think about it. it's a whole different identity, kind of like being a secret agent. it's totally awesome, because you can be really close to being a woman and have a life as a male. two for one. think about that the next time you see a woman who looks good in a particular dress and just realize you could look that good too.

[MissMarcie]

Why other men do not want to cross dress?
That's a no brainer. Because they're normal?

[*Vanessa*]

Thanks for the come back ladies of the evening (well it is evening here). It's all about the smile isn't it...

To the OP: Like you, I still have no idea

[Sarah Doepner]

Don't know. I'd like to say I don't care, but it would be nice to understand it.

I'd guess if/when they tried there was no positive outcome for them. Those of us who stayed with it had some kind of positive result whether we knew what it was or not and kept on doing it. If I knew what that was I could try to achieve it some other way but, to use the image being batted around already, nothing else scratches that itch.

[Tina B.]

Well I agree with karrens first answer, not so much her second one. Or another way to put it, they just don't have it in them?
Tina B.

[docrobbysherry]

Except Karren and couple of others!?:brolleyes:

Try this one then. It's of the same order, just a LITTLE tougher, tho: Why does a chicken cross the road?:straightface:

I didn't CD until after age 50. Why didn't I try on ladies things before then? Altho I had ample opportunities my entire life!?

Because it NEVER OCCURRED TO ME!:eek:

My ex even dressed me up as a sexy hooker complete with; pantyhose, heels, boobs, makeup and a cute wig, one Halloween. And, THAT got me going rite?
NO! I promptly forgot that experience until MANY YEARS after I began CDing!

MOST guys don't try on ladies things for the same reason they don't go out naked. It's NOT something they even think about!:daydreaming:

[ReineD]

It's because they have no desire to be or to look like women. They're happy being men. They also didn't experience being aroused by themselves dressed when they were younger, so their brains didn't make that pleasure connection. If they tried like Sarah mentioned, it didn't do anything for them. They've always just been aroused by GGs (or men if they are gay).

Some of you think these men are missing something, and they don't CD because of fear or they can't let themselves go. I'm guessing for you, the dressing is so pleasurable that you can't imagine anyone passing that up. But, men who don't CD find just as much pleasure doing other things and their sexual experiences are just as pleasurable for them as yours are for you! They probably wonder what the big deal is with CDing.

I don't think there is any one, better way to be. It just is what it is. You like to CD, and non-CDing men simply don't.

[KellyJameson]

I think many men are terrified of feeling emasculated and fully embrace, even define the male as aggresive, dominant, win at any cost take no prisoners attitude. Bulging muscles, ignore pain, scars make you more attractive, have sex with as many women as possible. I work with these types everyday in construction and God help the guy on the job site that shows and kind of tenderness or sensitivity. They act like their indestructible but there is a difference between courage and stupidity. I think many boys in childhood make the conscious decision not to cry ever again and once on that path it is difficult to turn the feelings back on because they cannot tolerate the sense of being out of control and weak even though it is actually strength to feel and express emotion. I was born with many feminine traits but in a male body so it was impossible to twist me into the ideal male image even though everyone around me tried but I have witnessed many men who were unable to feel emotions rediscover the ability to feel again by crossdressing because it made them whole again. Nothing saddens my heart more than a man who is unable or refuses to cry or when feels vulnerable does something destructive. The world does not care about a mans heart and will try to kill it to turn him into a weapon and often he is glad to oblige in his desire to be a hero so he can than have his heart back.

[Stitch]

I'd wager to say its because its just not a part of who they are. In the same way that Crossdressing is just something in you found was there at a young age. For "regular" men that urge just wasn't there. Sure they may have tried on a pair of panties on a lark, but it never went beyond that for them as it didn't do anything for them. Nothing wrong with that. In the same way that theres nothing wrong with Crossdressing. :) Different strokes for different folks as it were.

To address some of the posters in this thread who make it sound like "regular" men are nothing but brutes.

I don't know where you lot all hang out but most of the men I've met have been genuinely nice people, save a few who had an ego, but then I've also met women with large egos too. It saddens me to see men all tarred with the same brush. I hear it here time and time again. Men drink and swear, hunt and fight, who never cry and are always want to dominate and kill everything.

If I sat here and spouted a bunch of stereotypes that didn't portray the TG spectrum as a group in a positive light would you not all be angry too? If I picked the worst of the traits I often see show here, exaggerated them and then pigeon holed you as a group who you not all scream how unfair that was?

We are all different, and yeah we have genders but it doesn't define us as people to the extent some of you seem to think. I've met some very aggressive bitter women and some very quiet and thoughtful men. I don't know about you, but I judge everyone as an individual and through their words and actions rather than because of a few members of a group being extreme.

[ReineD]

Well said Stitch! I spent about 15 minutes composing a post about what all the men in my life are really like (my experience matches yours), and when I clicked on Preview Post it was so long that I decided not to post it. I didn't think this thread needs one of my essays. :p

You said it very well, and I love your point about how CDers would feel if we took some of the extreme characteristics expressed by the few especially when in a Pink Fog, and described all CDers as being this way.

I also am disturbed by the amount of male bashing by some of the members in this forum. I've often wondered if, because some of the CDs felt they didn't relate to other men while growing up (or perhaps because they were determined to hide their more sensitive sides), they never had the opportunity to become close friends with them and see that men are, in fact, perfectly capable of emotion and empathy.

[Kate Simmons]

Who says they don't? I doubt that they have a "better handle" on masculinity than the rest of us because most are just faking it fulfilling the male "image" as portrayed by society and making it up as they go along like everyone else. It may have to do with opportunity and social stigma but the very reason they enjoy beauty is the fact that they want to "possess" it to some extent. Outward expression is really only a small percentage of inner feelings.:)

[Noemi]

Why did I have to try on my Mom's clothes when I was 5? No one told me to do that, I did not read about it or see it on TV. I remember being in a school play in 2nd grade, George M Cohan, and being in the chours. So they had us wear make up including lip stick(can I tell a story or what LOL)Anyway I had so much lip stick an older girl had to reapply it properly..I loved wearing it...

I figure I am about 75% woman and 25% male..something like that. I feel so at ease in women's clothes. Other men are much more man than I am and do not need to dress up in ladies clothes to feel normal. They are still beautiful creatures. all capable of high thoughts and tenderness. But also can freely dig the package(that was sooo funny), where I am self conscious about playing with my junk publicly........mostly am at a loss to why I even have a package.

[Stitch]

I'm really glad you agree Reine, I was worrying I'd over stepped myself and made it into an essay too! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who ends up writing huge paragraphs at a time. Now I'm off to go post some positive things in the forum to make up for my little rant.


Who says they don't? I doubt that they have a "better handle" on masculinity than the rest of us because most are just faking it fulfilling the male "image" as portrayed by society and making it up as they go along like everyone else. It may have to do with opportunity and social stigma but the very reason they enjoy beauty is the fact that they want to "possess" it to some extent. Outward expression is really only a small percentage of inner feelings.:)

That is a very valid point. I'm always deeply aware of how much the media shoves in my face as a woman, but I hadn't really thought about it from the male side of things. Sometimes its hard to truly be yourself no matter who you are when society is telling your worthless unless you fit a mold.

[Clueless]

Maybe it's as Siouxsie would say: fear (of the unknown). They could find it enjoyable & that wouldn't fit too well with their male self image. I'm sure there are lots who keep it 100% secret, even online. I've started to ask friendly SA's, after the sale, about how many others they see buying. They say it's pretty common & very obvious. I believe that almost every male has dreamed or thought about dressing to some degree in secret at least once. I wonder how many would do it if you could have a CD Amnesty Day ( other than Halloween ) once a year? No ridiculing your apperance & style, and no one other than you would remember anything the next day.

[sara.s]

If I sat here and spouted a bunch of stereotypes that didn't portray the TG spectrum as a group in a positive light would you not all be angry too? If I picked the worst of the traits I often see show here, exaggerated them and then pigeon holed you as a group who you not all scream how unfair that was? I agree, that comment about men was as good as as saying all CDers are gay. But don't be surprised by that, it is common to bash someone if they don't belong to the same ilk. Happens everywhere.


Some of you think these men are missing something, and they don't CD because of fear or they can't let themselves go. I'm guessing for you, the dressing is so pleasurable that you can't imagine anyone passing that up.

I disagree with "dressing is so pleasurable that you can't imagine anyone passing that up." Lets separate the what CDing means to CDers from why "regular" men lie or don't acknowledge CDing.

Why would men try alcohol, drugs, cigarettes? why people say they want to visit Disney park at least once in their lifetime? Its curiosity. You can repress curiosity for long, it is intense sometimes, dormant sometimes, but the only easy way to kill it is to satisfy it. Curiosity becomes more stronger esp when you are forbidden to do that.

Why would you assume men are not curios about wearing women's clothes esp when there is so much of the "forbidden" tag attached to that... and esp more as women's clothes are eye popping, colorful, soft, different.. Isn't curiosity a natural thing? we just keep satisfying ourselves with it until we find it is boring and find something else more interesting. We just don't acknowledge our curiosity for wearing women's clothes because of fear of alienation in society or for religious reasons.

I have satisfied most of my CD curiosities and the only CD goal I am interested is to fly dressed. I have been to mac makeover, shopping, movie, restaurant, bar and even women's restroom :devil: dressed so far. You have no idea how many men are curios (and acknowledge too) about going into women's restroom.. You see, with videos like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP8X9WEWU8U who wouldn't?

[noeleena]

Hi,

Does every one do the same things have the same likes & dislikes.

& no i was not a dresser, nore thought of being one, let alone dressing up. in the way many here accept so the ? is why not because i was female / male & i did not see clothes from your perspective, as i needed to dress in, 54 years ago nore now , i wear them ( womens. ) because i hated not a i did not like i mean.... HATED...male clothes of cause at the time i did not know why. may be i did, just not the words to explain why. i do of cause now,
I guess it comes down to we are all different. im weird so whats new,

Ich ein seltsam chic...= i one weird chic.

...noeleena...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

the men are pigs stuff is verbal crossdressing...similar to the "you look hot" thread....
its part of what makes some cd's feminine, but sometimes it plays out in an unattractive way..

The answer to the OP is so obvious I don't understand it as a serious question....how can anyone seriously think that guys are just afraid of social rejection or the stigma....

if you are a cd , you are cd...
EVERYONE else is not a cd... what is there not to understand....certainly there are guys that are curious but afraid...they are called CD's too..they just don't do it for whatever reason...

it's ok...enjoy it, and stop feeling bad about yourself by wondering why all the other guys aren't like you..

[Elizabeth Ann]

Why is it that men don't do something? Oh jeez . . .

Maybe it is for the same reason some don't play golf.
Or maybe why they don't eat broccoli.
No, maybe it is for the same reason they don't drive Fords?
No, no, I got it. for why they don't wear plaid?
For why Republicans don't support Obama?
For the same reason they are not soccer fans?
For the same reason they don't support the gold standard?
For the same reason most of them are not left handed?
For the same reason communism didn't survive?
For the same reason bears don't migrate?
For the same reason hurricanes don't turn clockwise?
For the same reason no one can remember the name of that little sleeve on your shoelace?
Wait! I have it:
For the same reason they don't sit down to pee.

Maybe there is an innate reason they just don't understand, something having to do with hormones in the womb, that they have just given up fighting. They don't wonder anymore, they just enjoy not crossdressing.

Liz

[deebra]

Very Good Question, and my answer is: Women and Insecure. I'm sure a lot of men have tried on panties and liked them and were even turned on and wanted to go further, but they were discouraged by their wives and told panties are for women only and not for you, so they said Yes Dear and didn't dare bring it up again. If the little lady had said "I like you in them they look so sexy on you, you wearing them turns me on " trust me thats all it would have taken and a lot of men would be wearing panties and it would be accepted just as long hair was from the Beatles. Also men are insecure for fear of not being 100% male testostrone, wearing anything female would take away from that. Form fitting pants and jeans, soft colorful tops, boots or shoes with heels, makeup and so much more would become the norm in men if women and fashion designers would chart this course, they just aren't smart enough to see this. Men are pretty much followers and they do and wear pretty much what their wives tell them to wear.

[kimdl93]

I agree with the short answer Karren offered. My guess is that non CDing men are wired differently from us. (Recognizing that "us" includes a wide range of people and different motiviations).

[NicoleScott]

Why is it that men don't do something? Oh jeez . . .

Maybe it is for the same reason some don't play golf.
Or maybe why they don't eat broccoli.

This reminds me of something I heard long ago:

"I don't like broccoli, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it, I'd eat it, but I don't like it."

I think all this insecurity, supression, and denial talk is way overblown. It's simple: the drive isn't there. I am sure that if it were, boys/men would have tried it at some point , just as we did.

[*Vanessa*]

I stated the first comment that has been taken as male bashing. I take offense to being bashed for what maybe at worst, a joke in poor taste and this is why;

The Original Post is about 'other men’ (stereotypical) men. Men that do all the stereotypical male things that the stereotypical CDer do not do.

As a contradiction - I listed stereotypical things that stereotypical CDs don't

- END OF STORY

- Then

I stated and stated clearly twice that I had no idea why the stereotypical man doesn’t cross-dress. I, like everyone else on this planet, am not clairvoyant.

-Beyond this point

All the comments beyond this point, that were directed at me, are illustrating how some can get on their soapbox and taking swipes at others here and in this case at me. From my perspective that is a definition of a bigot!

Anyone that took offense just isn’t getting the humor in what was said. I will say however, if someone is going to attack me, I will stand up against any stereotypical bully.

I am here to communicate and grow through some personal stuff like most everyone else. If that means a little dark humor from time to time then so-be-it. I have read tons of threads that I don’t agree with, I don’t jump up and start waving my bra at people, shesh

Maybe if there is such offense taken there should be rules for each and every CDer to follow. like;

- A selected height, and weight of the CDer
- A particular color of hair
- A type of preferred clothing either lace or satin,
- A country of origin.
- A selected thread type one can talk about

We could really get the people we like here. Ya baby! Of course the obvious would prevail. There would never be any statement that made people think beyond their own spectrum, and would render the participants incapable of any lateral thought.

- My Soapbox
I dislike is how people can try pick up on something that was stated and twist it around to suit their own agenda, this happens everywhere and is not unique to this form. That ladies and gentlemen is absolutely wrong. This was a public flogging that is simply rude and arrogant.

I still love you all
Vanessa

[Stephanie47]

Until you figure out why you cross dress, I do not think you can figure out why most guys do not feel the need to cross dress. As I have posted before the stress relief I may feel, the sensuous feel of the fabrics, etc is only the results of cross dressing. There are times I am totally in male mode and cross dressing in the farthest from my mind. That may be for days, weeks or months. That is when Steve is dominant. There are times when Stephanie is dominant and comes out to express herself. That may be for several hours, days or weeks. If the medical community may diagnosis a person to have multiple personalities, why is it not possible a cross dresser has multiple personalities. Is there something etched in granite that says one of my personalities cannot become dominant over the other without forgetting the other for a period of time.

I am with Karen on this issue. Most males do not have the need to become a woman or express the feminine side. That does not mean a man cannot be gentle, understanding and nurturing. I think it means his inner feminine side either does not exist or does not have the need express herself.

I think Stephanie is not a cross dresser because she is a woman with male genitals. And Steve is a male. Each are occupying the same shell.

[Kittyagain]

Y'know, now there is an experiment a curious CDer could try. Take a pair of floral satin panties into the men's dressing room. Leave them on a hook with a subtle tell-tale to detect if they have been moved from the hook. Wait until an experimental subject uses the room. Go in afterwards to see if the panties have been disturbed. Repeat until bored.

I'll bet that a fair percentage of guys won't be able to resist a ready opportunity to sample forbidden fruit! :)

I bet that is true.

Kitty

[Kittyagain]

After rethinking my original post, I am still convinced that all of us have been touched by a woman in our very, very early life that said that so much pleased us, we want to recreate that moment by becoming that woman. In this light, I am guessing the men outside our group never experienced that moment with a woman. i think it is the only possible answer.

Thank you all for the well thought out replies.

Kitty

[ReineD]

I disagree with "dressing is so pleasurable that you can't imagine anyone passing that up."

I apologize. I gleaned this from the opening post, when Kitty said, "why other men do not want to or can't experience the pleasure we get from dressing". I read through the thread quickly and took it several others had echoed her sentiment. But no one else put it quite that way. I've got to stop posting so late, and instead work on my beauty sleep. :p

[RachelPortugal]

Whatever floats your boat. I like female fashions, tried them, enjoyed them and continue to do so.

For other men, other things, which do absolutely nothing for me, excite them. Whilst working, as an accountant, I was the only non electonics engineer in the company. Whenever a new product came into stock, the back cover was taken off and the rest of the team commented on how "sexy" the PCB was. I looked once, it was green with silver blobs on the back and multicoloured "sequins" on the front, but never bother to look again. I am sure some of those guys had tried on panties and high heels, but did not bother again.