But what if I don't have a "Feminine"side, no woman within trying to get out

[CO_Bobbie]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've had to opportunity to dress a lot more recently and with that I've had more time to try and pick out how I feel. When I'm dressed, I feel like me, not a female me, just me. I Guess I'm Bobbie all the time but that means that I'm Bobby too. Folks, it's all me, all the time. Now that's not to say I don't try to adapt my mannerisms, a little sway to my hips, a different way to stand, more smiles...

So I guess what I'm really saying is that no matter how I'm dressed, I'm the same person.

BTW: According to my wife, I don't act appreciably different when I'm dressed than when I'm not (I hate the term "drab", I'm never Drab), so either I"m an effeminate man or a masculine woman :)

[Karren H]

Sshhhhh.... Don't say that too loud!! They might be listening.....

Btw. I don't change my personality with my clothes either.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Sounds like a fetish, I think there is an ointment to treat it :)

[CO_Bobbie]

Sounds like a fetish, I think there is an ointment to treat it :)

Nah, fetish indicates that it's sexual, and it's not... It's just me... BTW, if you patent the ointment, you'll make a fortune :)

[RebeccaLynne]

When I'm dressed, I feel like me, not a female me, just me. I Guess I'm Bobbie all the time but that means that I'm Bobby too.

So I guess what I'm really saying is that no matter how I'm dressed, I'm the same person.

You've recognized the duality of gender identity.

I believe that's a good place to be. Allow yourself the freedom of self-expression, and enjoy the experience.

[Cynthia Anne]

There's nothing wrong with being yourself all the time! I'm me no matter what skirt I'm wearing! Hugs!

[NatalieBliss]

Me too. Just another stop on the gender spectrum.

[Tara D. Rose]

This is a point that has been made a lot of times on here in other threads. Some dress foir they like it, and simply coose to dress as a woman. And they feel no different inside. Some need to and have to and some of us crave and yearn with a fire to become the woman within them. We are not all the same. some can take it or leave it. Some cannot put it away.

[Chickhe]

Its okay to be gender dyslexic...

[ReineD]

My SO is also the same person in both modes. She may feel differently, it's hard to say. I asked her a few times and it is difficult for her to define it. But she does not behave differently. She told me once she had a conversation with a CD who was starting to go out to gender support groups. This CD was amazed that my SO spoke to her of regular stuff, like current events. She apparently thought they were supposed to talk about makeup or fashion.

Maybe there is a learning curve. Newer CDs might caricaturize how they believe a woman behaves? I've done this. I tried to learn how to walk like a guy once. It wasn't easy, and I'm sure it looked exaggerated.

[*Vanessa*]

If not you then who?
Who else do you think you should be.
We are only we not you.
Not they, but little old people we.
We all just want to be we that's who.

Except for Karren Hutton, I think she is a hottie hockey player and not just a puck bunny. Someone said she wants to change her name to Howe.

[CO_Bobbie]

I'm not questioning the validity of being a cross dresser, I know that's part of who I am. I saw dressing equated to handedness on a reply to a letter on http://www.mycdlife.com/ we do not choose to be left or right handed, and if we're forced to, we can switch to the other hand with varying degrees of success, but we will always be left or right handed... I accept being me... all of me... regardless of what I wear... and I'm happy being both...

[marlacd]

Interesting question. I do feel somewhat different when I'm dressed, but if I start talking to anyone, I just pop out and start talking, like if I was dressed in drab. Perhaps its because CDing isn't my only interest. I know several other girls who are just like that, and I'm sure there's plenty more. One thing is for sure, It hasn't stopped me, from dressing.

[Tina B.]

It's just cross dressing, that's about clothes, not behavior, a TS is already feeling feminine inside, it's not about the clothes, a TG, might feel different inside when changing gender styles, but for a lot of CD's I think we find we are just fulfilling a need to express an inward feeling, and don't need to be anything but dressed, look at how many we have on this site, that don't even wear wigs, or forms, just the clothes, I don't think they change anything but the clothes either. The only real change I see in me, is I'm more at peace with myself, and that makes me more pleasant to be around, but then that would only be noticeable if I've gone a long time with out dressing, and am feeling an urgent need to dress, the rest of the time, you would never be able to tell the difference.
Tina B.

[Dami]

I know when I went out with my wife and some friends they all kept telling me to feminize my voice but after we go to the club I never did change my voice and my wife told me afterwards that she could tell I was just a whole lot more comfotable in what I was wearing and that I didn't seem to care if anyone heard me.
but don't get me wrong I do want to work on my vboice for when I go shopping.

P.s. I wanna watch Karen play hockey while I cut the ice on the Zamboni wearing my mini skirt.

[Stephanie47]

Maybe you are an illusionist or have a fetish. I do not consider a man wearing a single woman's garment (panty or stocking for example) to have a woman within. He probably has a fetish. There are heterosexual drag queens who are illusionists. There are gay men who like to wear feminine clothing. I believe I have a strong feminine influence who is Stephanie. I have a strong male side who is Steve. They share my human form. Stephanie's and Steve's core inner morale code is not different. Neither would do anything the other would not do. A person who is under hypnosis will not do anything he or she would not do otherwise. It has taken a long time for Steve to allow Stephanie to develop into the woman she is.

[xristy]

I am the same person and feel that way if I am dressed en femme or not. However, when dressed, I do sit up a little straighter and have a few more feminine manerisms, but nothing to different from my daily male life. I think the same way, so I talk to people the same way. When I post things on here, I post things the way I see it. Not the way Xristy or my male side sees it, because they are one in the same.

An interesting thing that happend a number of years ago before I told my wife about my CDing. There was a conversation and for some reason in conversation the question of what my woman or "gay" voice would sound like. People in the conversation had the typical, "Hey Girl Heeeeey!" voice. I couldn't figure out what mine would sound like. I never talked to anyone while dressed and that question really confused me. I know I have a femme side, but why does that side need to sound different? It does make sense that a more femme voice would help you fit in more to your femme persona.

So years later, about 1 month ago, I went out dressed for the first time. I tried to talk a little more femme due to the situation, but it seemed that I would almost always revert back to MY voice. Is that because I am more confortable with that voice or is that just me regardless of what I'm wearing?

[TGMarla]

Oh my God! Maybe you're .......*GASP!*........NORMAL!!!!!!

:eek:

[Asche]

So I guess what I'm really saying is that no matter how I'm dressed, I'm the same person.Same here. No matter how I'm dressed, I'm still the same person -- me
(Not that I'm arguing that that's a good thing. Sometimes I think the world would be better off if I were someone else. Sometimes I think that i would be better off if I were someone else.)

I never could get the hang of the "female self" versus the "male self."

[eluuzion]

Humans get real creative when trying to avoid accountability for their behavior.
Just ask my imaginary friend…:D

:love:

[skirtsuit]

Tina B. got it. I didn't really understand the difference until I started going out and met and talked with some real TGs. Turns out I'm just a guy that really likes women's clothes, so much that I occasionally put on a wig and makeup and go outside. Understanding the difference has led to a greater understanding of myself and thus more personal peace and happiness. One thing thing that really stuck me is how difficult the TGs have it compared to a man like many of the rest of us who just like the clothes. I'm also not sure I really believe in some sort of 'spectrum' exactly because my crossdressing hasn't changed my basic heterosextuality.

Best,
SS

[Ann Thomas]

You've described how I feel as well. Effeminate male of masculine female. I'm just me.

[candykowal]

I think I am different when I am Candy.
It's the wonderful feeling that I get when I feel all that silk flowing over my contours.
To be supported, shaped, and free to feel the breeze under my skirt.
Everything about Candy is luxurious...like driving a Aston Martin.
My confidence is the same and I do carry my conversations the same...there's just that feeling of being regular person that Candy provides.
Candy masks my real identity, which at times, is overwhelming when I have to be out in public as a man.

[docrobbysherry]

U say this on one hand, "But , what if I don't have a feminine side, no woman within trying to get out?"

But, on the other, u say you're either a "masculine female or feminine male"!:eek:

Sounds to me like your "woman within" is already "out"? :straightface:

As a male who likes the fem "illusion" when I dress, I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for my "woman within". Because she's nowhere to be seen! No matter how I'm dressed!:sad:

[CO_Bobbie]

U say this on one hand, "But , what if I don't have a feminine side, no woman within trying to get out?"

But, on the other, u say you're either a "masculine female or feminine male"!:eek:

Sounds to me like your "woman within" is already "out"? :straightface:

As a male who likes the fem "illusion" when I dress, I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for my "woman within". Because she's nowhere to be seen! No matter how I'm dressed!:sad:

I had a recent experience allowed me to reevaluate who and what I truly am. (see the thread: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?161874-A-learning-experience ) For me it was an amazing experience, but most importantly, it allowed me to be comfortable with myself, and to see that who I am is the same person regardless of the clothes I wear. Now that doesn't mean that I no longer need to dress, I couldn't do that any more than stop being left handed. I enjoy my time as Bobbie and if my "Woman Within" is already out, then she's been out since I was 6... With me, what you see is what you get... The only thing Bobbie does differently than Bobby is that Bobbie sits down to pee... oh and Bobbie tends to smile s lot more... Guess that means I'm happy, go figure.

[sometimes_miss]

First we have

"Now that's not to say I don't try to adapt my mannerisms, a little sway to my hips, a different way to stand, more smiles..."
Then you write

"So I guess what I'm really saying is that no matter how I'm dressed, I'm the same person."
Some kind of a contradiction there, methinks.
Then:

According to my wife, I don't act appreciably different when I'm dressed than when I'm not (I hate the term "drab", I'm never Drab), so either I"m an effeminate man or a masculine woman :)

The word 'appreciably' is the qualifier. But you do act differently.

[sara.s]

So I guess what I'm really saying is that no matter how I'm dressed, I'm the same person.



As a male who likes the fem "illusion" when I dress, I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for my "woman within". Because she's nowhere to be seen! No matter how I'm dressed!:sad:

I am kinda curios what is both your motivations to crossdress.

[Rianna Humble]

Oh my God! Maybe you're .......*GASP!*........NORMAL!!!!!!

No call to insult the OP :heehee:

[noeleena]

Hi;


Chickhe :) Im the one who is dyslexic, ( just had to check ),yea its right. tho not as i see it,:o

Being true to who we are , can come with a lot of problems ......i know it has, ...& not just about wether we are, male , female , or a mix of both,,, = me.

How i expressed my self was for 54 years was nether, because i did not know how to. surpressed or oppressed. feelings for most of yet i did get a little out more as a female / woman tho not allways seen tho some picked up on that, unbeknown to me,

Of cause how i express my self now is my whole being as i have allways been a female / woman just was held back from being able to...
Each of us has many parts its about allowing our selfs to show who we are. not like i was a closed down unit that functioned just did not show my openness of the real who i am.
Some times it takes a long time , so just be who you are dont try being who you'e not,

...noeleena ...

[Jillian Faith]

I am the same person and feel that way if I am dressed en femme or not. However, when dressed, I do sit up a little straighter and have a few more feminine manerisms, but nothing to different from my daily male life. I think the same way, so I talk to people the same way. When I post things on here, I post things the way I see it. Not the way Xristy or my male side sees it, because they are one in the same.


Same here. This is exactly how I feel.

[Kittyagain]

Bobbie, a good post. Like you, I am the same dressed or not dressed as long as I don't go the full Kitty. The more makeup, the better the hair, the nicer the clothes, the more I change. Maybe at a bit higher level, I want bigger boobs, Boobs that I would not hide in male mode. And since I am wishing, a nice butt. :)

Kitty