I'm back

[Dora Faye]

Been lurking for quite a while. Might as well make it official. Not dressing much as wife still not down w it and insists on me keeping my beard. Thinking a lot about it though, clothes, makeup, wigs, stepping out but actualizing any of it just seems impossible as there is this impenetrable wall between the me I would like to express and the me I appear to be. I guess I just can't face all the conflict and disruption it would cause. Maybe some opportunity will materialize. Hoping so anyway. Best wishes to all.

[jennCD]

Welcome back Dora!

I think the decision on keeping facial hair is actually on you tho.... cos I'm sure you don't tell you're wife how often to shave.

:)
jenn

[Dora Faye]

Excellent point. However she is well aware that the reason I would shave is for CDing and that to her opens a whole can of worms she's very afraid of. She has no interest in getting more information or talking to CDer wives or anything like that. She also has a certain power that I imagine many CDers can relate to which is the ability to make me feel like shit for doing it. I do love this person and we have a pretty good life together all in all plus there are others I care a great deal about and have to consider. So right now I don't see any simple solution although if anyone has any words of wisdom I am listening.

[Cynthia Anne]

You could try not taking care of your beard! Let it get shaggy and dirty! And think of the title of this song! ''HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW''! Hugs!

[Dora Faye]

lol. unfortunately she likes it that way. Good try tho. :)

[Eryn]

Well, you could start insisting that she always wear hooker makeup and clothes. (unless she already does). :)

Seriously, ultimatums are not a sign of a healthy relationship. Your wife has no right to dictate what you do with your hair, just as you don't have the right to dictate that she shave (or not shave) any part of her body.

As the wise Joe said in The Princess Diaries: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

My guess is that your relationship is in serious need of communication. She needs to know what is important to you and, you need to know what is important to her. Without the ability to talk frankly with each other this is impossible.

[Dora Faye]

Good points to think about. Thank you Eryn. And maybe if I can get her to buy some hooker makeup and clothes she'll let me use them too.;);)