Any helpful tips on going out to a restaurant while dressed?

[StephanieH]

Wifey and I are going out of town this coming weekend and I'm gonna' be allowed to be dressed most, if not all, of the time. She wants us to go out to a restaurant while dressed as that's long been a fantasy of mine. I've been out to a few clubs with her in the French Quarter in New Orleans while dressed, but, that's New Orleans and nobody ever gave us a second look - where we're going this time is genuine small-town Americana - Natchez, Mississippi to be precise!

There are a number of nice little restaurants there, most of which we've been to through the years, but, I'm reasonably passable at best (primarily just have guy hands and a guy shaped face) but when the makeup and hair's right, I'm not too bad off and my wife's very pretty (I'm biased, but she is).

I am MORTIFIED of embarassing her in public and while I really want to do this, has anyone ever had any positive or negative experiences in "real world" restaurants while dressed? These places don't have many dark corners and I just don't want to cause any trouble for her - she seems to know everybody, so I'm horrified at the thought that someone she would know might see us together. She works in a very public sector so it seems like everywhere we go, we run into some distant relative of hers or somebody she's met through her work, so I am really scared of causing a problem for her, but, she's really set on us doing this - ahhhh!

Fantasy and fear are getting me all at the same time - any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks and take care! :eek:

[VickysBFF]

Hi Randi: I'm a native New Orleanian and I think that Natchez is far enough away that you should not have to worry about running into anyone you know. I've gone to many restaurants dressed and just mind your manners and you should be fine.
It has been advised by others in threads similar to this that you should avoid ordering anything that could get messy and I would agree. Just do you best to be lady like and mind your manners and you should be fine.
Have a great time!

[kimdl93]

Honestly, I think you'll be fine. Your wife is probably more realistic about your ability to blend or pass than you are. If she's comfortable accompanying you, then you need to allow yourself to relax and enjoy the experience too.

I can't even remotely hope to pass, but I have a pleasant personality :) I try to dress appropriate to the setting - and to blend in with the women around me. On a Saturday afternoon, I'll go with a casual outfit, and during the week something appropriate to business. I save the dressier outfits for evening outings. So check with your wife and pick something appropriate to the venue and the time of day.

[Cheryl T]

My wife and I just finished a "girls" vacation last week. We went to all sorts of places from McDonald's and Dunkin' Donuts to a nice seafood restaurant.
My suggestion would be as always...bring 3 things with you.
Confidence
Appetite
Credit card

That's all you need to get by...

[Stephenie S]

I agree with the others here. If your wife is OK with it then go and have a good time. Stop obsessing over what might go wrong and look forward to the good time you will have. Restaurants want your money, waiters and waitresses want your tips. Relax.

S

[morgan51]

My wife and Morgan went to a play and dinner afterwards we had a good time with absolutly no harrasment overall a nice evening. I certainly don't pass but am confident and polite did a little damage to the debit card however.Just relax and have a great time. enjoy!

[StephanieH]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! So far, I REALLY like what ya'll are saying - definitely helping to put me a little more at ease! It'll be business-casual type clothing - dress slacks, heels, and a nice blouse - nothing that'll win any drag queen contests! :heehee:

[Annaliese]

Went out to dinner with another girl on the 10th in Salt Lake, go in acting no different than when you are not dress. Don't pay any attention to anyone and they will do the same to you. This was a nice family restaurant.

[Persephone]

Go with the girl food, act ladylike, smile and make eye contact with anyone you are talking to (especially your spouse), use cash or your wife's credit card, and leave a nice tip!

Oh, and if at all possible avoid going to the lady's room before your meal. If someone does read you and becomes upset they then have lots of time to cause a problem, try to get management to do something, or even call the police. Save any plans you might have in that direction for after dinner, just before you leave.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Lori B]

my closest thing to going out to eat enfemme is the Burger King drive-thru:heehee:

[Aprilrain]

Any helpful tips on going out to a restaurant while dressed?

I would certainly hope you would be dressed! aside from that if you burp say excuse me and don't pick your teeth at the table.

[Jackiefl]

I think yuo will do just fine,nice cloths,hold your head high,smile and pay attention to your lovely wife. That said i think you will have a wponderful time. And don't forget to give vyour wife a big hug and kissesand tell her how special she is.

[Jodi]

Dine slowly as a woman would. Don't shovel your food like a truck driver.

Jodi

[Eryn]

Go with the girl food...

Oh I try, but sometimes that Porterhouse is just calling my femme name... :) It is a good idea to consider the food you order and how difficult it will be to eat.

The hardest thing I found about going out en femme was dealing with my hair while eating. It gets everywhere I don't want it to be. I very quickly learned to carry a couple of bobby pins or hair clips to keep it out of my way. GGs do that too!

If you are dining with one or more other ladies be prepared to deal with some inquiries that you weren't expecting. You might be asked if you want separate checks, for example.

If drinking a cold beverage use a straw if one is provided. Prevents mussing one's lipstick. If you drink without a straw you can subtly lick the rim of the glass or cup so lipstick won't stick. When using a napkin dab daintily, don't wipe!

Other than that, have a wonderful time. Enjoy being referred to as "you ladies!" :)

[Cynthia Anne]

I think you have received some very sound advice here! Just follow it and be yourself and you will be fine! Hugs!

[Rachel Morley]

She works in a very public sector so it seems like everywhere we go, we run into some distant relative of hers or somebody she's met through her work
Your wife sounds awesome! I think you should trust her judgement and not worry about "outing both you and her". She knows what she's doing.


Go with the girl food, act ladylike, smile and make eye contact with anyone you are talking to (especially your spouse), use cash or your wife's credit card, and leave a nice tip! Great advice. I would add, if you are feeling nervous, let your wife do most if not all of the talking when interacting with others, you can be her "quiet friend" except when it's time to order the food. My wife says that when two girlfriends are together one wouldn't order for the other when she's sat right there. What happens with us is that I have a practiced feminine sounding "I'll have the same" response :) The other thing I would say is keep thinking "girl thoughts" and make your mannerisums and movements as non masculine as possible. Don't go over the top trying to look soft and twee, just don't give off any masculine signals. Keep them feminine or neutral. Oh ... and one more thing, relax and have a great time!

[Stephanie47]

Your Avitar looks great. I don't think your features will give you away. Just remember not to put your elbows on the table. Don't shovel like a hay baler. When sitting don't spread your legs apart, even if you're not wearing a dress. After cutting your food with your dominant hand, lay down the knife and pick up the fork to eat. I think the surest way to be read is to not adopt the mannerism of a woman. The closest I ever dined out en femme was going to buy a doughnut at a Winchell's on Halloween.

[jillleanne]

You will notice while out dining, most women keep one hand below the table while eating. Elbows cannot touch the table. Whem talking, women talk with their hands alot. Just watch them and learn, it's easy.

[Kerigirl2009]

I went out to an Applebees for a lunch date and it was going very well. I was nervous for about the first ten minutes but after that I was just Keri having a conversation and ordering my lunch. I have a pretty good feminine voice so that was not an issue. I then turned to my right and there she was a group leader from my church whom I see all the time. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide. I am pretty sure that she saw me but obviously she did not recgonize me as I ended up sitting next to her at church about two weeks later.
How I hid was looked down and away as if I was searching through my purse. Obviously there was not enough room in there or I would have hid there.
I guess what I learned from the near sighting experience is that I just need to act natural and belong. I hope you two enjoy your time together.

[gabimartini]

Randi,

Just food for thought: if your wife wants to do this and is not worried about being seen in public by "some distant relative", why should you? Place your trust in her, relax and enjoy the ride!

And once at the restaurant, think and act like a lady. Don't forget to keep your torso straight when you sit, keep your legs close together, take small bites and remember to chew your food (some salad, perhaps). Also, if you are wearing lipstick, be very conscious of the way you eat off the fork. It will also leave marks on the napkin and glass, and may require touching up, so remember to bring it in your purse.

Hope you guys have a great time.

Gabi

[Jenny Doolittle]

Hey Randi,

So much great advice, just thought I would offer my two cents....

You made mention that there are lots of dark little cafes to hide in, I think you need to just be confident and proud in who you are as Randi. Your wife obviously is or she would not have said Yes, lets go.

Have a great time and actually think, "Two girlfriends out for dinner" It will be great!

[StephanieH]

Thanks for all the replies, but, SIGH... it's all a moot point now. Wife's uncle died last night, so we ain't going anywhere this weekend - we're going to Hattiesburg for a wake and a funeral instead! So much for that... perhaps another time. Thanks all.

[Stephanie47]

Condolences. However, just have her plan another date night.

[Jenny Doolittle]

sorry to hear, well something to look forward to on the next available weekend

[linda allen]

Thanks for all the replies, but, SIGH... it's all a moot point now. Wife's uncle died last night, so we ain't going anywhere this weekend - we're going to Hattiesburg for a wake and a funeral instead! So much for that... perhaps another time. Thanks all.

Well, that's a shame, but it was worse for the uncle.

There will be other times, nothing has changed. Good luck, I wish I was in a position to go out in public (dressed) with my wife.

[Kittyagain]

Randi, I am sorry things feel through and for the worst reason. It is good to be there for the family.

I want to thank you for starting the thread. One of the most informative I ever read here on the forum. Wonderful replies.

Kitty