KellyJameson
10-21-2011, 07:40 PM
Trying to phrase this question so it makes some sense. A little back- ground information and than the question.
Male, Single, who has only had heterosexual experiences with approximately seventy-five partners. Always approached each woman with the desire to be in a relationship and never had an interest in casual sex, a type of serial monogamy. I ended every relationship because I could not feel love for them even though I liked them and felt terrible because I could see them suffering because of my inability to love them the way they wanted or needed.
Healthy in every way and during intercourse I'm able to get an erection but not climax because I feel silly/ridiculous in the act and once I smell the scent of sex from the woman I completely shut down and lose all interest in continuing no matter how mild her scent.
I have never been sexually abused and even though very spiritual not religious so I am not struggling with guilt toward sex and have no moral conflict regarding sex.
In general I'm usually happy but experience a monthly cycle where my mood dips into very mild depression for two or three days a month and than returns to normal. Even though I have a very low libido my desire/need to climax also follows a monthly cycle and I think my low libido is due in part to the frustration I have experienced with sex.
I have no interest in sex with a man as a man but like being sexy for a man and in general prefer the company of men, particularly if he is extremely masculine, i.e large muscles, abundance of body hair, assertive but respectful, I feel safe when I'm around them.
Is this what it feels like to be transgendered ? because if it is, it is a very complicated experience and it is futher complicated by the fact that in some ways I like being a guy but feel like I'm living between worlds socially making intimacy impossible with either sex and so I will never experience that special bond of sharing my life with a significant other.
Thank you for your thoughts. Kelly
Male, Single, who has only had heterosexual experiences with approximately seventy-five partners. Always approached each woman with the desire to be in a relationship and never had an interest in casual sex, a type of serial monogamy. I ended every relationship because I could not feel love for them even though I liked them and felt terrible because I could see them suffering because of my inability to love them the way they wanted or needed.
Healthy in every way and during intercourse I'm able to get an erection but not climax because I feel silly/ridiculous in the act and once I smell the scent of sex from the woman I completely shut down and lose all interest in continuing no matter how mild her scent.
I have never been sexually abused and even though very spiritual not religious so I am not struggling with guilt toward sex and have no moral conflict regarding sex.
In general I'm usually happy but experience a monthly cycle where my mood dips into very mild depression for two or three days a month and than returns to normal. Even though I have a very low libido my desire/need to climax also follows a monthly cycle and I think my low libido is due in part to the frustration I have experienced with sex.
I have no interest in sex with a man as a man but like being sexy for a man and in general prefer the company of men, particularly if he is extremely masculine, i.e large muscles, abundance of body hair, assertive but respectful, I feel safe when I'm around them.
Is this what it feels like to be transgendered ? because if it is, it is a very complicated experience and it is futher complicated by the fact that in some ways I like being a guy but feel like I'm living between worlds socially making intimacy impossible with either sex and so I will never experience that special bond of sharing my life with a significant other.
Thank you for your thoughts. Kelly