Not looking forward to retirement [Wife's]

[Panties4me]

I have been doing shift work for the past fifteen years. My wife works days,Monday to Friday. Because of our work arrangements I get plenty of free time to myself to indulge in my two favourite pastimes, crossdressing and wearing diapers with plastic panties. Have mentioned this in previous posts. This has kept me reasonably happy, but my wife is talking about retiring in about 3 years. This is seriously going to impact on my activities. While she knows about my crossdressing, or what she calls panty fetish, she does not know to what extent I go with it. I suspect she knows about the diapers and plastic panties, she has had to have found some of them, but prefers not to raise the subject.

I underdress nearly all of the time but know I will miss being able to wear bras and forms for example once she is retired. There will be certain pieces of lingerie I can still wear but I know I am certainly going to miss being able to walk around the house dressed as I please. I'm sure there are many others in this position, what do/would you do?

[Just Elizabeth]

Have you brought this up with your wife?? How aware is she of your dressing?? Perhaps you need to sit down and have a talk with her.. Maybe suggest she come out here and see what's going on in the community.. Maybe more exposure for her now will help pave the way to something less dreadful than you anticipate at her retirement. There's a good sticky note about how to tell your spouse.. You might pick up some good tips there, even though she knows something about it already. I wish my husband had read that and been able to share with me as I found out about his CD'ing.

Good luck.

[KarenS]

I have been doing shift work for the past fifteen years. My wife works days,Monday to Friday. Because of our work arrangements I get plenty of free time to myself to indulge in my two favourite pastimes, ...

I used to have every other Friday off making it a three day weekend. I found it wonderful to have a full day to be myself and enjoy the day. I dressed as I wanted and got a lot done too. Not anymore. I miss having my Fridays off. When I had to start working 5 days a week - every week, I felt like I went through withdrawls.


Have you brought this up with your wife?? How aware is she of your dressing?? Perhaps you need to sit down and have a talk with her.. Maybe suggest she come out here and see what's going on in the community.. Maybe more exposure for her now will help pave the way to something less dreadful than you anticipate at her retirement. There's a good sticky note about how to tell your spouse.. You might pick up some good tips there, even though she knows something about it already. I wish my husband had read that and been able to share with me as I found out about his CD'ing. Good luck.

My wife knows and prefers a don't ask - don't tell strategy. She hates when I shop locally or on the internet. We don't talk too often about CD'ing, but when we do it gives me a slight sense of control of what I reveal and when so-as to take things slow. I'm sometimes afraid if she were to come here and read the forums, I know she would go read what I have previously written in response to some posts. At that point, I feel like I wouldn't have any control over what she hears about me - that I might have previously revealed. I want her to know everything - but on my time.

[eluuzion]

In 3 years! Wow, I have a difficult time just trying to figure out what to do tomorrow! If your life is anything like mine, three years from now you could be doing things you could never have imagined yourself doing!

I suppose one option might be to tell her how proud of her you are...and how much you appreciate her financial contribution to the relationship. Then you could tell her at the end of those 3 years, she can elect to continue working at her present employer, or get a new job. But everything she earns, she gets to spend 100% on herself!

jus' thinkin'...:D

:love:

[Kate Simmons]

Other than the obvious solution of talking about it, I'd just enjoy the next three years. A lot can happen in that time.:)

[Karren H]

Bet you could get a divorce in less than 3 years and that would solve your problem...

[Allsteamedup]

Why are you so averse to some alteration in your timings?

You could join a support group. Some have meetings at the weekend. I have one locally that meets at teatime. Going outside the home to be with others might be a good thing.

If you want to stay at home, arrange with your wife to have a floor of the house to yourself regularly. One of the regular GGs on our UK site does this-mealtime with hubby in a skirt 3 times a week, then upstairs floor if he would like a wig and forms.
The possibilities are endless. Just talk it over with your wife.

Our UK site does have a lot of retired GGs with problems, I would have to admit. These are
A husband who wants to transition after a lifetime at work (he feels owed...)
A husband who wants to dress 24/7
A husband who wants to dress a lot more and take up a lot of the day.

The disappointment these ladies report is that, having worked a lifetime and raised a family, they were looking forward to companionable time with their man, travelling, taking up new hobbies and the like. Many have wound up with a divided home and separate lives, it being difficult to start again with a new partner in your sixties.

Obviously, you were not viewing your retirement entirely in terms of dressing nor an enforced togetherness. However, your wife may like to use your home as a shared resource for inviting friends around, entertaining etc, and she will also spend more time with her friends and interests of her own.

Your panty/diaper issue is more complicated, but there are groups for this also.

A starting point would be to ask your wife how she thinks you would spend your retirement time in shared and independent interests. Start talking now!

[suzy1]

I think you are right to worry. And there is no easy answer.
It is likely that you will try to stop for a few weeks after she retires but the strain will tell on you.
Are you the sort of person that can separate and live alone? It could be the only way.
But you have nothing to loose by talking it over with her first. And you just might be surprised at her acceptance.
Good luck,

SUZY

[Stephanie47]

I've been retired for almost four years. My wife still works. She chooses her own days to work. When she does "retire," i.e., reduce the number of days she works, she still intends to work part time. Fortunately, part time is eight hours a day. So Stephanie will still be able to push Steve out of the way on a daily basis.

[*Vanessa*]

wow - good luck with that.

[Prissy Linda]

Maybe you could pee your pants several times, tell your wife you can't help it because you have an incontanance(sp) problem. Then tell her you are afraid you will pee in the bed, suggest to her that you should start wearing diapers, problem solved. just sayin

[Sandra]

Maybe you could pee your pants several times, tell your wife you can't help it because you have an incontanance(sp) problem. Then tell her you are afraid you will pee in the bed, suggest to her that you should start wearing diapers, problem solved. just sayin

Geezzz what a stupid comment and not very helpful!!!!!!!! Just a load of lies to the wife, but hey that's a common theme isn't it?


For the OP.

So are you saying that you'd rather not have your wife at home because it interferes with your cding? If so then this is a very shallow attitude to take. perhaps if you talked to her more in the past then things may be a bit better, so maybe now it's time to sit her down and have a good talk with her and see what happens.

[Chickhe]

Maybe you or her could take up golf... her with her friends and you on the short tees...

[Eryn]

My wife knows and prefers a don't ask - don't tell strategy.... I want her to know everything - but on my time.

That sounds like an ideal solution but often reality isn't ideal.

DADT is often a cop-out for both parties. They avoid confronting the issue, but they also avoid resolving the issue. It just festers and will eventually poison things between them.

It might be difficult, but consider having a serious sit-down with your wife. If she loves you and is concerned about your happiness as well as her own she will listen. At the same time you need to listen to her concerns. Between the two of you it is very likely that you can come to a compromise that will serve the needs of both of you. You should do this during a period of relative stability such as you presently have. If you discuss the issue when she retires the combined turmoil of your revelation and her retirement may create a situation where a breakup becomes an attractive option for her.

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm not happy with most of the 'comments on this thread! Sorry to sound negitive but it seems to me that if you have three years to work this out then you should easely come up with a solution! The sooner you talk ''together'', the sooner you will find a solution! Instead of being so selfish you should be happy for her! Encourage her and let her know you care about her and wish it could be sooner! It is time to start talking! I would say yesterday would be soon enough! Hugs!