Almost 2 weeks have passed and.......

[britney1]

Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since the bomb was dropped on my wife. Things are slowly returning to normal in our relationship. Although we have yet to see a counselor, our relationship was beung to rebuild. I am not sure where crossdressing will fit yet into our relationship, but things are better. My wife knows that I still do crossdress on occasion. I have to be honest though. I have tried to determine how important CD'ing is to me. After further review, I think that although I enjoy dressing on occasion, it is not a main staple in my life. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it, but it is not like some cd'ers. I do not feel the need to "live" my life as a woman, but rather enjoy expressing my feminine side. I still am shaving my legs and plucking my eyebrows, and occasionaly wear panties. I will get dressed on occasion too. It seems that cding has taken an "out of sight, out of mind" stance in my relationship with my wife for now. I don't know if I will ever be able to show my wife "Britney" in her entirety. She knows that I do it (that in and of itself is a huge relief to me), and I guess she has begun to accept that, but just doesn't want to think about it. I am sure that her negative feelings havn't dissappeared. We obviously have a long ways to go, but we will see where it all takes us. Thanks go out to everyone for their advice, support, and caring thoughts. Thank you so much for checking up on me.

TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)

[Mary Jane]

My wife knows of my dressing but as long as she does not see me dressed and I do not talk very much about it, she seems OK with it. If she only knew how much I wanted to share with her. I guess what I am trying to say is that this situation is better than nothing. You don't have to worry about leaving something behind after a dressing session and other little things that might slip out during converations. I hope YOUR wife accepts you better than mine has. Good luck.

[Kayla Smith]

Britney,:)
Thank you for the update, I am glad to hear that things are better between you and your wife.

Hugs :hugs: and Take Care

[Carlacd]

Britney,
Thanks for the update. Sounds like things are getting some what better for the two of you. Baby steps for the both of you.

[melissacd]

Britney,

It is great that you have reached some level of acceptance. That is a good first step. Hopefully it is uphill from here. I am crossing my fingers for you.

Now the question is, how is Karren's situation moving along since she was discovered?

Huggs
Melissa

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Britney
Its good to hear that things have calmed down.
The improtance of crossdressing may fluctuate, but you are doing the right thing by trying to look objectively, at the most important points within your
marriage. It may be that your wife ends up with an out of sight out of mind stance. The communication lines must be kept open even if its only to say that your dressing will only happen when she is not around.

I sincerly hope she can gradually accept you dressing.

Good Luck & Best Wishes for the future

[Toyah]

Hope everything settles down for you now, as you can tell from many of us our SOs know but there are few that are happy about it so find out where the lines are and good luck

[Sharon]

I'm happy to see things are going well for you Britney. Two weeks isn't really that long a time, but as long as you and your wife keep communicating, and as long as you continue to show her that you are still "you," then things may very well continue progressing to a point that satisfies both of you.
Be patient!:)

[Natalie x]

That's good, Britney. Only you know what is right for you, and you have taken a balanced view of everything. I hope your marriage is now safely on the road to happiness.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Britney, I'm glad to hear things seem to be going better.

It's wise that you sat down and figured out the relative importance of CDing to your life. Just remember as others have said, that the urge may wax and wane, and that's normal.

Keep communicating, take things in baby steps and be sure to keep showing her that you're still the same person. Also, it's worth revisiting Marla's excellent thoughts on the acceptance pendulum (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12890) many SOs go through. As Marla points out the intellectual acceptance typically comes faster than having it be OK in her heart, let alone in her gut, so while a "don't ask, don't tell" policy maybe OK for her most of the time now, her fears may resurface from time to time to time, so be ready for that.

Best of luck to the both of you.

[Tracy Lynn]

Hi Britney,

I'm glad to here you are still together. I really hope that someday you will have the opportunity to show her Britney. Take care.

[Dragster]

Britney, your situation is so similar to mine it's untrue, except I dropped the bomb 15 years ago and was still hiding from the fall-out in the closet until I found this site and read "My Husband Betty". It's 6 months since I gave it to her and she agreed to read it and discuss it with me. She's only read 40 pages so far, and that in the last 2 weeks, so my progress is very slow. It's still the right strategy not to push it too hard, but it's getting very frustrating. I'd settle for an "out of sight, out of mind" compromise right now as a starting point for making more baby steps in the future, but hell, I don't know how many years I've got left to CD. One day, I do want to get out and experience the thrill of walking in public as a passable woman, but not at the expense of alienating my wife.

Good luck

[MarinaTwelve200]

I suppose that your wife may be beginningto realize that you are not "homosexual" after all, and is not ready to dump her and run off with some guy. She realizes that you want to maintain the relationship and that flies in the face of the mythology (CD = Homo) she has always grown up beleiving in.---- she may realize that the mythology might not be entirely accurate after all.---Of course it will take time for her to be fully accepting---a lifetime of "knowledge" about such subject matter taken to be the truth is hard to reject for the myth it is in just a few days. Your devotion to a hetro relationship with her, and she realizing that you are honest about it, is showing her that at least she is beginning to question and re-evaluate SOME of her mythological beleifs.----The more she sees aspects about yourself that run counter to what she had beleived about CDs, the more open she will become.

[britney1]

One day, I do want to get out and experience the thrill of walking in public as a passable woman, but not at the expense of alienating my wife.

Good luck

I agree with you here110%. I enjoy CDing, but not at the expense of my marriage.

[melissacd]

I agree that CDing is a high cost for a marriage, but take it from me, not CDing is a high cost for your health and sense of self respect.

[Laurie Ann]

Britney,

I am glad things are better for both of you. I also hope that you can work out your dressing to the benefit of you both.

[Andrea's Lynne]

Britney

I wish and your wife all the best. My wife and I are having some difficulty in dealing with my CDing, but are working through it.

I have to remind myself not to be selfish and to look at it through her eyes......if the shoe were on the other foor, how would I feel?

Good luck

Lynne

[Karren H]

Well, Britney, we have determined the same thing!! That the family is more important than anything!! And its going to take time to get back the trust that you and your wife had built up! And normality is an extreemely wonderful state not appreciated until things are turned upside down! Hang in there!

Love Karren

[MsEva]

Well, Britney, we have determined the same thing!! That the family is more important than anything!! And its going to take time to get back the trust that you and your wife had built up! And normality is an extreemely wonderful state not appreciated until things are turned upside down! Hang in there!

Love Karren


Good for you too Karren! I would like to think that my family must come first also. Britney, I am so happy for you. You have taken a great step forward with your prioritizing! Time is a great healer!! God bless!

[knelson]

Remember that she has just met Britney and wasn't happy about it. It will take time but hopefully she will come to accept that part of your life. In the mean time, you have to rebuild the trust she feels has been lost because of this incident. Good luck with everything

[urban gypsy]

Hi Britney
Glad to here things are settling down, but although things are heading in the right direction, Still take things at a pace that she is happy with and in time things will be even better.

[HaleyPink2000]

I think things will get better for you if you give it time.

Haley:)