Halloween at work?

[Princess Jen]

So I'm almost certain that the reward just isn't worth the risk on this one but I'm curious to hear what others think.

I work in an office setting with about 10 people, 3 of which are aware that I'm transitioning (including the boss). I'm not 24/7 yet, I still present as a male at work. I have long hair, plucked eyebrows and I wear loopy earrings, scrunchies and women's jeans every day so I'm pushing the limit but still present as a male.

Anyway, today we were all having lunch together in the meeting room and a new employee was asking if anyone dresses up for work on Halloween. No one really does here but one of my coworkers teased that it would be fine, as long as the guys dressed up as women. Everyone laughed about it except for me, I just smiled and acted like the subject was of no particular interest to me. :heehee:

So I briefly considered what it might be like to go to work dressed en femme. I would almost definitely be the only person in costume and I got to thinking that it would just be too much for the uninitiated. Regardless of my outfit, I just can't pretend to be "a man in a dress" so then there's my new voice for everyone to deal with too.

My intention would just be to have some fun, not cause a scene or officially out myself. My gut instinct is that I should just leave everything alone, no fancy dress or makeup and just save it for when I'm 24/7. If I did get dressed up for work, I'd worry about having a harder time being taken seriously when I do come out for real.

I would feel a bit disappointed that I missed the chance to wear a dress to work but I get to go out in costume on the weekend anyway so it's not a big deal. I'd just like to hear what other people think about this. :hugs:

[ReineD]

My gut instinct is that I should just leave everything alone, no fancy dress or makeup and just save it for when I'm 24/7. If I did get dressed up for work, I'd worry about having a harder time being taken seriously when I do come out for real.

I'd follow your gut feeling. It won't steer you wrong. Besides, dressing for work is not a costume for you. It is who you are even though you're not ready to do it full time yet. :hugs:

... just curious, why aren't you ready to be yourself permanently? You're absolutely gorgeous. I mean, how can anyone see you as a guy?

[RachelDenise]

Jen, I think your feelings are correct. I believe that it might reduce your credibility once you present as female. It isn't a costume for you but your life. Resist the urge. Time is on your side. One day day it won't be a costume!

[Sally24]

I wouldn't dress up at work even as a guy if no one else was. Why not wait until next year or whenever you plan to be 24/7.

[Mikaela]

I wouldn't do it. It's a work environment and even on a relaxed day like Halloween, you wouldn't want to wear anything inappropriate or disruptive or would impact your work after the fact. If I was a genetic woman, I wouldn't wear the ****-versions of things either.

[arbon]

I would not do it either. Twice in my life I tried dressing up in women's cloths for halloween - once in the early 90's and then in 2008. Both times it triggered horrible GID. It is what you said right here "I just can't pretend to be "a man in a dress" " and I think you should listen to that.

[Frances]

I would not do it if I were you, if you plan on transitioning soon. If you look too convincing, your coworkers may feel ill at ease and question you. You may have to come out before you are ready to do so. Also, if you look too convincing, when you go back to male mode, you will be perceived as flip-flopping. It's up to you really, but I would make the change only once and not go back.

["Mary"]

Nope - for lot's of reasons above, but most simply because no one (or just a couple) will dress up at work.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I agree with everyone else (for what its worth).

[Eileen]

Jen be patient. Wait and you will be much happier.

[Sheren Kelly]

I think that if you wore a dress to work, you would be outting yourself. People with any perception would see that it is not a gag for you. Unless you are on the brink of transition, it may be better to lie low until you are ready for the next step.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Jen!

I would agree with the others follow your instincts and do not do it.

Hugs

[MissMarcie]

My gut instinct is that I should just leave everything alone, no fancy dress or makeup and just save it for when I'm 24/7.
You already answered your question.

[Chickhe]

A good rule of thumb for a work place cotume is to make it as lame and boring and simple as possible... Something like, wear devil horns on your head for 1/2 hour or wear an orange shirt and tell people you are a pumpkin. Your female self is not a costume so not a good idea.

[JulieK1980]

Realistically you are dressing up every day at work as a man. THAT is the costume. If you dress as a woman for Halloween, you'll simply be yourself. I wouldn't risk it.

[Princess Jen]

Thanks for all the replies! Now I'm completely certain that I won't be dressing up for work. I don't want other people to think that my true self is a costume.:straightface:
So I will just focus on my actual transition and look forward to that instead.


I'd follow your gut feeling. It won't steer you wrong. Besides, dressing for work is not a costume for you. It is who you are even though you're not ready to do it full time yet. :hugs:

... just curious, why aren't you ready to be yourself permanently? You're absolutely gorgeous. I mean, how can anyone see you as a guy?

Thanks for the kind words! The main reason I have not gone 24/7 yet is because I've had concerns that my facial hair would be too difficult to manage. Namely, letting it grow out for electrolysis while trying to cover it up at the same time.

But after 3 years of laser hair removal and a year of electrolysis, there isn't much hair left to go. While I still don't like what remains, I might just be making a mountain out of a molehill. My goal is to be full time before the end of next year, no matter what it takes.

[Hope]

I wouldn't do it, for a variety of reasons.

First, it is work, and if you are going to be the only one dressed up, that would be odd.

Second, I wouldn't want people to get the idea that this is some sort of joke. I get uneasy every year when I see guys doing the whole "guy in a dress" gag as a lark. I'm not a joke, and I don't appreciate the association. If you do this, and next week you DO show up in a dress, what do you suppose the connection people will make?

Third, this isn't a costume for you. If you wanted to go as Dorothy (bad idea) or a witch, or some other women's costume, cool... but "dressing up" as a woman isn't a costume for you. Unless it really is just dress up, in which case...

Finally, I wouldn't be willing to encourage the societal view of us as a topic of mockery.

[Paulette]

A great costume would be an orange jumpsuit with the word "INMATE" on the back, now you can participate and still have fun without demeaning your female self.

[Katrina]

Two things: First, one of us dressing as a girl for Halloween is so cliche. If you were going to, at least dress up as a specific girl or a female character. Being a woman is who you are, not a costume. Second, I agree with others here, the workplace is not really the place to wear any costume unless it is part of the corporate culture and everybody else is doing it.

[RiverdanceGirl]

Just to chime in. I agree with everyone who has said you shouldn't. You really are very pretty and you'll eventually be living full time. You'll know when the time is right.

[Starling]

You've made the right choice, Jen. Soon enough, you'll be living as a woman for the rest of your life. Imagine how much fun it'll be then to choose costumes that will free your imagination instead of inhibiting you.

:devil: Lallie (in costume)