being a husband vs wife, father vs mother, full time cd's

[westt]

I now know that I need to be a "girlfriend" to the woman I marry. If not all the time at least a lot of the time. But I have a hard time imagine being a mother to my future children. What type of parent I plan to be would have a huge effect on my decisions for this transgendered life. Would love to hear if anyone has experienced these same feelings.

[jillleanne]

You can never be a mother to future children( I'm assuming you are a genetic male). All you can be to them is a peer and a role model with hopefully no negative qualities that will influence their mindset. Hopefully, you would be a caring, loving, honest gender enhanced father(parent) that the children would grow to love just like any other parent. Remember, in all likelyhood, if the child knows you from birth as gender enhanced, he/she will grow to know and accept you as just that. He/she has no reason to learn otherwise.

[ReineD]

I have 3 kids and although I am divorced from their father, he always was a great dad. And that's because he had a great dad. I use the term "dad", because he is not TG. But honestly there was no difference in terms of who was more caring or more nurturing to our kids. We both changed diapers, fed them, played with them, assembled their toys at Christmas, helped them with their homework, attended their sports games, drove them to their activities, watched kiddie shows with them, read them bedtime stories, gave them hugs.

So the term "dad" or "mom" I think only serves to identify the gender of the parent. As far as the kids are concerned, they just want a caring and devoted parent and this has no gender.

[Cynthia Anne]

Wow! Reine said a mouth full! It's hard to say anything else without repeating her! If you love your kids and teach them to love and not to hate they will love you back and respect you! Being a friend to your wife and children will build one happy family! Hugs!

[Debglam]

So the term "dad" or "mom" I think only serves to identify the gender of the parent. As far as the kids are concerned, they just want a caring and devoted parent and this has no gender.

Absolutely! And the key thing IMHO, where the children are fortunate enough to have two parents is to support each other in your parenting. We all reach are limits of patience and have our strengths and weaknesses and one parent should step in when the other one is reaching their limit.