Another Coming out thread with a twist

[Justwanttobeloved]

People on this form talking about coming out as cross-dressers, transgender and gay on this thread but i was wondering if anyone has come out to friends and family about having issues with their gender identity?

I did this the other day to a friend, she was accepting asked a few questions, like when did i start having these feelings. I must say it is nice to have someone that knows and is understanding aside from my therapist.

So has anyone else done this or have they never even consider this?
Love
Jerri

[Diane Elizabeth]

I did just the other week with comming out to my son. I told him about my GID and some of the problems I have had over the years. He seemed nonjudgemental, but, then again I have not heard from him since that conversation.

[Melody Moore]

Hi Jerri and welcome.

First of all where is the "twist"?

Now you are posting in the transsexual forum you will find virtually everyone here has had to deal
with coming out to family and friends about having GID, so you are not alone and your situation is
not unusual around here, but you would be one of the youngest members here at the age of 19.

What you experienced the other day with coming out is the first taste of the liberty that you can experience
by being out to people. As you come out more and more in your life to everyone around you it can be quite
liberating. However not everyone finds the experience that pleasant either because there are those that won't
accept you and may be discriminatory, abusive and sometimes violent.

Anyway, its a really good start that you also have a therapist because they are extremely valuable when it
comes to dealing with any issues you might have. However you have this forum here to post any questions
about gender identity issues and transition. You will get feedback from a very diverse transsexual community
some who have GRS/SRS & are post-op or others who transition on hormones, but stay pre-op or non-op.

[Katesback]

Sure people come out all the time to other people.

Biggest mistake trans people make (including myself when I came out) is assuming that the person you tell will remain ongoingly accepting.

True be told most people dont want to hear your story and they will never understand it if you tell them.

I repeat most people dont want to hear your story. They would much rather you just live a life like everyone else.

Katie

[Julia_in_Pa]

Sure people come out all the time to other people.

Biggest mistake trans people make (including myself when I came out) is assuming that the person you tell will remain ongoingly accepting.

True be told most people dont want to hear your story and they will never understand it if you tell them.

Katie


I agree fully with Kate on this.

In 2001 I told many in my extended family I was intersexed.
I explained what it was and that it was a medical condition concerning genetics.
Many in my extended family, cousins, aunts, uncles are extreme evangelical Christians and most of them rejected medical science concerning intersexuality.
I remember an aunt from this camp asked if I was a cross dreser.
I promptly told them that if I followed my genetic makeup I could wear whatever I wished and it wouldn't be considered cross dressing whether that be a suit and tie or a dress and heels.
The argument they posed was that since my birth certificate read M and I was raised as male that God wanted me to be male.
I told them that it was my choice as to who and what I was supposed to be.
Some of these people I have never heard from again despite my repeated attempts to speak with them for close to eleven years now.
When I transitioned five years ago my co workers at first were very supportive but as time went on I was not spoken to again by many of them and many went out of their way to avoid me.
Now I live a nice stealthy life without ridicule or condemnation.
Just my experiences.


Julia

[Paula_56]

The argument they posed was that since my birth certificate read M and I was raised as male that God wanted me to be male.
I told them that it was my choice as to who and what I was supposed to be.


Using this logic, then if God wanted us to fly then he would have given us wings. Also a popular racist line God put the races on different continents for a reason, Also using this logic, rukes out any medical treatment for birth defects, Clef palate too bad!!!!, No laser eye surgury for you!! Sorry about those clog arteries it's God work...... Ok you get the meesage I am just using sarcasim here.

[Justwanttobeloved]

Three months ago when i decided to no longer ignore this part of my self i told my closest friend i want to deal with this issue, the next day she cut all ties with me, i have not seen or heard from her and she was the most liberal open minding person i knew. I know damn well i will lose friend and family over this being apart of my identity.

However I disagree with you Katesback, people do care, because if no one ever cared there would be no help for people like us, there would be no what for us to get the help we need to become one with our mind and bodies. Sure it is scary to tell people and yeah not everyone is going to be able to understand what you are going though, that does not mean you don't tell anybody. I sure hope people in your life have accepted you for the person you are.

I might not know exactly what my Gender Identity is, but i will never stop looking for people to except me for who i am.

Now to Clarifie my Question

I wanted to know if people had come out to other individuals without knowing there true gender identity? I am not talking about come out as a cross-dress or transgendered but is just confused about your gender.

Love
Jerri

[Aprilrain]

i wouldn't go around telling everyone you are confused about your gender identity If I were you. i would wait until I was reasonably sure of who I was and what I wanted to do about it before disclosing. If you are sure then others will be less likely to question you and it will be easier for them to accept. IMHO.

[Amber99]

The argument they posed was that since my birth certificate read M and I was raised as male that God wanted me to be male.

That's some pretty strange reasoning. Do they think God robbed whoever was in the position to make that decision(be it the doctor or your parents) of their free will to make you who he wanted you to be?

[Starling]

When you come out to people you love, Jerri, you may well learn more about them than they have just learned about you--things more important than gender.

:) Lallie