Guilt and anxiety freedom

[Paula_56]

I have struggled with guilt and anxiety over being transgendered all my life I am finally coming to terms with this all. I wrote this declaration of independence a while back and read it to my self when I'm feeling down I wanted to share with my sisters

I am 50 years old. I am hard working and have a successful career. I am financially successful, I am a dedicated husband and father. I give back to my community and I am active in my church. I strive to be caring, kind, and thoughtful. I don’t drink or abuse drugs. I am honest and trustworthy. This is a part of my personality that has caused me shame and anxiety for years. There are medical and biological reasons for this. It doesn’t make me awful person, it means I’m different. I won’t feel bad about myself anymore.

[sissystephanie]

Paula, you are a great man, and a great woman!! There is no reason at all for you to struggle with guilt and anxiety just because you are transgendered!! I am sure there are several million of us CD's on this planet so you are not alone!! I started my CD'ing when I was 6 years old and I am now 79!! And I still dress up and go out frequently!! I was pretty much the same as you, except that I lost my dear wife to cancer 6 years ago. she knew that I was a CD, and fully supported me! And yes, we do have 2 wonderful children who also know about me and don't care.

Don't feel bad about yourself ever again!! There is no reason to!!

[Jonianne]

Yes, there is no need to balance all the great things you do in your life to "counter-balance" the crossdressing. In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with it. Being honest and keeping a balance for your own sense of self, as well as your relationships is the important thing. I was in a Southern Baptist church (a more liberal one) and I had shared with the pastor and other leaders that I crossdressed and they still asked me to be a decon.

I used to get horribly depressed (from cognative dissonance), but after being in a therapy group for years, it finally really sunk in that no-one was making me feel bad about myself - I was the one who was making me feel bad about my self. Once I really let that in, the depression lifted and never returned. That was nearly 15 years ago.

[Tina B.]

Did saying it really make you feel better? I think I would find it hard to completely change a lifetime of thinking overnight.
Tina B.

[Piora]

I have struggled with guilt and anxiety over being transgendered all my life I am finally coming to terms with this all. I wrote this declaration of independence a while back and read it to my self when I'm feeling down I wanted to share with my sisters
Very often, writing something down gives so much more substance to that. To merely think something is all well and good, but time has a way of diluting that thought process, and the written word records it at the time it happens, as a reminder.


It doesn’t make me awful person, it means I’m different. I won’t feel bad about myself anymore.
The sooner the rest of the world get their collective heads around the fact that being different isn't wrong, and stop labeling and judging people by some preordained set of rules and standards - then the better things will be for everyone.

Paula, you sound like the type of person this world needs more of.

To thine own self be true.


I was in a Southern Baptist church (a more liberal one) and I had shared with the pastor and other leaders that I crossdressed and they still asked me to be a decon.
I think that's great. So often, you read or hear about most organized religions' reactions to transsexuals, gays, lesbians & crossdressers as some kind of blight against God. Good for them for being so understanding and actually practicing what they preach: which is compassion and acceptance of those that don't 'fit the mold'


I used to get horribly depressed (from cognative dissonance), but after being in a therapy group for years, it finally really sunk in that no one was making me feel bad about myself - I was the one who was making me feel bad about myself. Once I really let that in, the depression lifted and never returned. That was nearly 15 years ago.
People struggle for years trying to feel accepted. The revelation comes when you finally accept yourself. I absolutely think that sometimes our worst enemy is actually ourselves.