The Right thing to do

[AKAMichelle]

We have been going to a restaurant here in Denver called the Santa Fe Tavern for sometime now. They are a mainstream restaurant but are very tolerant to cd'ers. There business has been falling off to a dismal state. They have great food and I have enjoyed going there for karaoke on Friday nights.

This is where it gets complicated. The karaoke DJ asked the owner what she thought they could do different to build up the attendance on Fridays. The owner responded with incidents that had happened there which appear to be mishandled about cd'ers being in the women's bathroom. Another comment was that this looked like a gay bar. The really odd thing is that my wife has been hit on 3 times in the women's bathroom there. So she doesn't like to go because she is not interested and this made her feel uncomfortable.

In colorado we are allowed to go to the women's bathroom when dressed and I see the biggest problem being that the owner didn't even know this. Last week it was reported that the owner didn't want cd'ers there dressed. So this put everything into a spiral where cd'ers refused to go back. Last night I talked with the owner and couldn't tell how much was true and how much was exageratted. Either way the karaoke DJ who is a cd'er and a friend to many of us is most likely going to lose the gig.

What appears to have happened is that a lot of bigoted people refuse to attend when the cd'ers are there. I feel sorry for the restaurant owner because is in a no wind situation. I wonder how much cd'ers played a part in her demise.

[Mindy More]

That's to bad. It's like a double edged sword for the restaurant owner. Losing business on both sides.
When you say Demise, does that mean the place closed down?

[Phylis Nicole Schuyler]

Sounds like the owner cut off her nose in spite of her face.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

How very sad!

Hugs

[ReneeT]

I am sorry to hear that, Michelle. I had a nice time there with you (except for that speed camera ticket i got on the way there!)

[Eryn]

They are a mainstream restaurant but are very tolerant to cd'ers. There business has been falling off to a dismal state. Last week it was reported that the owner didn't want cd'ers there dressed. Last night I talked with the owner and couldn't tell how much was true and how much was exageratted. What appears to have happened is that a lot of bigoted people refuse to attend when the cd'ers are there.

"...it was reported..." - by who?

"...a lot of bigoted people refuse to attend..." - Who are they? If they aren't attending then how are they making their opposition heard?

The most precious thing to a restaurant owner are regular, paying customers. A regular customer is worth a dozen one-time customers. If a group of people show up every single week it would be very unusual for a restauranteur to turn them away.

Before this goes farther, I'd ascertain exactly where the restaurant owner stands and either reassure the other CDing patrons that they are welcome or find a better place to go.

[ashlylynn]

What appears to have happened is that a lot of bigoted people refuse to attend when the cd'ers are there.

Wrong...unless you are calling your own wife a bigot. She had a LEGIT concern and probably would not go back were it not for you.

- A lot of women - myself included - don't feel safe ( or that they have any privacy ) in a washroom with men ( anyone with a penis ) in there.
- A lot of men don't want to go to a place where there are CDs because they are afraid to accidentally hit on one
and actually doing so causes fights, stabbings, shootings ...This is why every major nightclub in the known universe has a No Crossdressing rule
- Once there gets to be a small known percentage of CD / TG / Gay ... typical guys won't go to it anymore ( they only go out to meet chicks! )


CDs and TGs have asked others to be sensitive to their situation and to accept them
whereas many CDs and TGs don't seem to have any sensitivity to NON-CD/TG folks
who you are saying "must change".
You're mindset is similar to that of a non-Christian immigrant arriving to The Bible Belt
and putting their kids in a public school ... then trying to stop Christmas & Easter from
being mentioned in school.

[sandra-leigh]

- A lot of men don't want to go to a place where there are CDs because they are afraid to accidentally hit on one
and actually doing so causes fights, stabbings, shootings ...This is why every major nightclub in the known universe has a No Crossdressing rule


Huh? In the city I live in (population over 1/2 million), I have never heard of any nightclub (large or small) with a "No Crossdressing" rule.

I did encounter one place in Toronto that had let me in a number of times before cross-dressed but which asked me to leave... previous management had enacted a temporary policy before the owners got rid of the management, and the owners hadn't had time yet to change the policy back.

Our local cross-dressers go to many different places, depending upon their mood and upon what happens to be nearby. There is only one place in the city I've been specifically warned away from (by a cross-dressing friendly person who has worked there.)

The city I live in has a relatively high gay population. A decade ago there used to be 10 gay bars. Now there are only 3. Why? Because many of the gays and lesbians of the city are considered so mainstream now that they don't feel they need a special place, that they can go anywhere. The busy nights at the largest of our gay bars get a lot of straight people.

The situation in the area you are in may be as you describe it, Ashly, but what you say does not generalize across "the known universe".

[linda allen]

Restaurants and clubs are pretty unstable businesses to start with. The public is fickle and trends often have a big effect. You seldom see a restayrant or club that has been in business for many years.

If the general public begins to think of a place as a "gay bar", many, if not most, will stay away. It's not right, but that's life.

A restaurant or club owner has to decide on a theme for the business and aim for a certain segment of the public. The "non-gay" segment is far larger than the gay segment so perhaps that's the direction this owner is going.