Searching help needed for gender therapist

[Asako]

As the title of the thread says, I need a bit of help with therapists for gender and general therapy on the issue. For the last 6 months, I've been battling it out with near suicidal depression and crazy stress from work that has intensified it to the point of a near mental breakdown. It has gotten exceptionally bad over the last 2 months.

So, that brings me to where I need help. Just what in the sam hell is the actual "name" of a doctor/therapist with Gender-type credentials? This is the ONE THING that support sites just don't seem to explain. That, or I'm just dense...which is likely the case. For example, if I didn't need glasses just to even legally drive(corrective lens restriction), I would not know that "Optometrist" means "Eye Doctor"! That is, if I've even got the meaning of optometrist right! No, that is not a joke either. I've very rarely needed to see a doctor for ANYTHING and when I have, my parents always took care of it for me.

Speaking on my mental state, I'm very strong. To the point of almost being unphaseable by bad things that happen to me. However, this is like trying to store the ocean in a water bottle. I guess what I'm trying to say with that is I recognize it's impossible for me to keep going on like I am. Expressing myself through a bit of light crossdressing helps but certain factors at home limit it dramatically. Hence, why I've come to the conclusion that something MUST change for the better. If I don't make that change happen for a better tomorrow, then who will?

These are my unaltered thoughts typed out as I thought them while clacking away at the keyboard. So, please don't be highly alarmed. After all, I've got really good friends keeping me sane enough to NOT to go down that road. =) I'm nervous and scared on the inside about what this post may bring but that's okay. Nobody can be strong all the time.

[Frances]

There is no one term: Gender therapist, psychologist specializing in gender issues, sexologist specializing in gender issues, psychiatrist treating gender issues.

The only thing I would recommend is to walk out of any room where the so-called specialist tells you off the bat that he or she can cure you.

[Karan49]

As Frances said, there is no single term for a therapist specializing in gender issues. I'm not sure where you live so you may need to do a web search for therapists in your area. Then check their websites for those who specialize in gender issues. I ended up calling around to half a dozen therapists and asked them how much experience they had with gender issues, what their fees were and if the therapy could be covered by insurance.

You may also find help through local transgender groups that know local therapists with years and loads of experience. Most of these groups also have websites and regular weekly meetings that are free or of modest cost. Not only do they have lists of therapists, but lots of resources and the groups are usually very supportive.

Good luck, please let us know how you are doing.

Karan

[StaceyJane]

I wasn't able to find a gender specialist in my area but i did find one that had experience working with gay and lesbian clients. Once i contacted her i found out she had done her intership working with a TS group in NYC.
She has been a great therapist for me.

[Aprilrain]

I found a local gender support group and then ask the girls there. I tried the internet route before that and wound up with a REAL WINNER! NOT!

[DanaR]

What I've found is that you will have to ask them if they have experience with (whatever) issues you are interested in. I was given a couple of referrals to several clinic by my doctor, then I called and asked if any of the therapist's had experience with gender issues?

[*Vanessa*]

Search your local groups Asako. Ask around within the and you should be able to get a bit of a track record on the therapist as well.
Good luck

[Asako]

Local support groups are much harder to find in a small town like mine. There are no local support groups, endocrinologists, or therapists that have gender qualifications. I was pretty upset when I realized that. While googling around that day, I think I smoked enough cigars to equal about 3 packs of cigarettes in about 8-10 hours.

There's a nearby town with about 20-30k people and only 45 minutes away. There are 3 endocrinologists there and 1 support group. I had the support group's address and everything but I lost that url after the computer crashed(my fault, jacked with the registry for fun XD). Now, I COULD call the endocrinologists to see if they get referrals from therapists but there's a niggling fear in the back of my mind that keeps me from doing so. "What if they say no or that it's only from bigger cities that are further away?"

Currently looking around for that support group's info again. Iirc, they're meeting today which is great since I got the day off. =D

[Frances]

Now, I COULD call the endocrinologists to see if they get referrals from therapists but there's a niggling fear in the back of my mind that keeps me from doing so. "What if they say no or that it's only from bigger cities that are further away?"

Then you go to the bigger city farther away. People who need to transition will do anything that needs to be done.

[Nicki S]

Then you go to the bigger city farther away. People who need to transition will do anything that needs to be done.
Agreed. I have to travel 50 miles to get to mine.

[Debglam]

I found a local gender support group and then ask the girls there. I tried the internet route before that and wound up with a REAL WINNER! NOT!

Yes! (I did this also.) No need to reinvent the wheel.

I don't think there is any standard or certification for "gender therapists." Other's experiences seems to be the only way to know if the therapist really understands the issues involved.

Good luck,
Debby

[Starling]

I found a winner by going online and seeking recommendations from a transwoman and another friend, whose general therapist gave my gender specialist to-be a high rating. Now I've made more progress in two sessions than I've experienced in two years. If anyone wants her info, just send me a PM. She's not cheap, but she's experienced, strong and loving.

:) Lallie

[Asako]

Found a list of Counselors and Mental Health Care providers on a support site for my area. Yay! Now I'm trying to reason away the irrational fear so I can make the necessary calls.

Even when I almost flipped my car after hitting a dirt embankment at 30mph, I wasn't this afraid. What was I doing at the time? Racing around a dirt field like an idiot. The fear has my stomach upset to the point that it feels like I'm going to be sick. Damn I hate feeling weak like this!

[StaceyJane]

One other thing...You really don't have to go to an endrocrinologist. My doc is a regular family doctor who has experience treating TS patients.

[Asako]

Got a reply from an e-mail I had sent to a LGBT group in my area. They replied with the head of the mental health association doctor's email address. Now to see what reply I get.

Also, fear and anxiety won out. I couldn't make a single call yesterday. I have a good idea as to why that is too. Any time I've brought someone into the "fold of knowing", it didn't work out that well except for my oldest sister. She was really cool about it.

[Frances]

Also, fear and anxiety won out. I couldn't make a single call yesterday. I have a good idea as to why that is too. Any time I've brought someone into the "fold of knowing", it didn't work out that well except for my oldest sister. She was really cool about it.

Don't worry, it's totally normal. One day, the pain of not moving forward will surpass your fears, and you will make the calls.

[Rianna Humble]

Got a reply from an e-mail I had sent to a LGBT group in my area. They replied with the head of the mental health association doctor's email address. Now to see what reply I get.

That's great! Not only have you contacted the group who will now be aware that you might want their help in future, but you have a positive recommendation to work with.


Also, fear and anxiety won out. I couldn't make a single call yesterday. I have a good idea as to why that is too. Any time I've brought someone into the "fold of knowing", it didn't work out that well except for my oldest sister. She was really cool about it.

It's hard to overcome the fear of rejection, but if these were professionals you were wanting to call, they shouldn't know you well enough yet to hurt you. When you speak to them, you only have to give them enough information to allow them to answer your questions so you don't need to tell them very much until you feel confident that you can trust them.

BTW, I'm sorry but I cannot agree with your tag-line, you are not an idiot, you are a sensitive person who is a valuable member of our community and who deserves our support.

[Asako]

We have 1 therapist that has some experience with transgendered patients. However there is a waiting list that could be at least a month to get in. If you would like to call our office with more questions or get put on the waiting list, give us a call at (removed).

I got that from the counseling office I e-mailed later on yesterday. =O Things are looking better and better. =) Obviously, I know to ask how many patients they've had. However, I will admit to being a little lost as to what else one can ask in general. Also, while typing this response, I got another response from the support group containing information on their meeting date and where it's at. ^.^

@Rianna:Heh! My tagline is more of a personal reminder for me that despite how wise I may become from age and troubles, I still don't know anything in the grand scheme of the universe...except that the answer to the meaning of life is 42! =)

[Rianna Humble]

I still don't know anything in the grand scheme of the universe...except that the answer to the meaning of life is 42! =)

I think that was a butterfly I just heard flapping it's wings :eek:

[Hope]

Then you go to the bigger city farther away. People who need to transition will do anything that needs to be done.

Word.

I used to drive 2 hours each way to see my therapist; a few times a month. I STILL drive 3 hours each way to see my endocrinologist - though thankfully that is only once every 6 months or so.

There is absolutely NOTHING on this journey that will be handed to you, or made easy. Much to the contrary, you must work extra hard to make things easier for those around you. You have to prove yourself, and earn every inch of transition, twice. If you have access to unlimited funds, things can be made a lot easier, but the results don't get any better if you use the money to avoid doing the work yourself. But if this is who you are, then the work, while arduous, is a joy.

[Teri Jean]

I drove 70 miles one way for two years and glad I did. The one thing that I had going for me was a gf that answered my request for a therapist and then when I started my sessions in group Pam was there with me.

[Asako]

Called the number. I'm on the waiting list. Now to setup a better monthly budget with this in mind so I can still save money.