Crossgenderer

[Inna]

Well, now seams a good time to introduce yet another Controversial subject for I haven't stirred the minds for a while.

I am thinking of a subject of crossdressing and its ties into gender expression, mainly that even though I have heard lots and lots say, I am who I am and I am not Transgender but I wear woman's clothing because I like to pay twice as much for the same amount of cotton :heehee:

But seriously, I am meeting lots more crossdressers and transsexuals and trans alike. What I have observed that transsexual girls are more in tune with their body language and feminine feelings and truly exude femininity from within giving credence to the fact of having woman's coded brain at birth.

For the crossdressers majority and nearly all such fluid natural essence is absent and perhaps despite the effort the look of cumbersome, stiff and manly mannerisms are expressed therefore truly giving positive light to possibility that in fact they may not be transgender in their nature.

But here is a dilemma, I once was a cumbersome, stiff, thick, trucker stomping crossdresser my self. However even though I thought I am very feminine, after viewing videos I have shot, I quickly became aware of being cumbersome my self and realized that years of carefully trained masculinity and hyper successful reconditioning of my womans brain made all my mannerisms very much manly.

However manly I was in my behavior when crossdressing, I always felt as soft, sensual, feminine being gliding delicately through space just as GGs do.
And here I am, on my way into womanhood, and yes, I do now get taken as a GG 85% of time and disbelief arises when I talk about being a boy and then a man, and then a husky power lifting bloke :eek:

So................THE QUESTION

When crossdressing do you feel as a woman, expecting softness, fluidity and fem charm, or do you simply feel entirely male in the dress?


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Views or opinions stated above are sole possession of the possessor and are not statements of any kind, shape or form, well maybe form, but definitely not shape. Author kindly reserves the right to apologize if necessary for causing anyone to think profusely or get to scratch their %^$#* in deep concentration. Statements may be false but then they may be true, in such event compensation shall be deemed appropriate in form of lollypops and candy.

[Eryn]

When crossdressing do you feel a woman expecting softness, fluidity and fem charm, or do you feel entirely male simply in the dress?

I don't really know what "feeling like a woman" or "feeling male" is. I can only feel like me. I feel calmer, prettier, and more satisfied when I'm en femme if that is any indication.

[Jennifer529]

I don't really know what "feeling like a woman" or "feeling male" is. I can only feel like me. I feel calmer, prettier, and more satisfied when I'm en femme if that is any indication.
Well said Eryn,I feel the same.

[Barbara Dugan]

I may be just a man in a dress but I definitely don't feel like one when I dress:hugs:

167734

[Debglam]

When crossdressing do you feel a woman expecting softness, fluidity and fem charm, or do you feel entirely male simply in the dress?

Inna, I identify as transgender but not transsexual. The answer to your question is yes. When I dress, I dress completely, from head to toe. When I am completely dressed and made up, I am a woman. When I am wearing a suit and tie, work clothes, or when I used to wear a military uniform, I am a man. The man knows the woman exists and the woman knows the man exists but they are who they are at that moment. Yes, they are all me.

I'm of the school of thought that gender can be fluid. I can be male, female, or a combination of both.

I'm sure that has muddied the waters.
Debby

[DonniDarkness]

When crossdressing do you feel a woman expecting softness, fluidity and fem charm, or do you feel entirely male simply in the dress?

I feel like a feminine male. Just to answer it simply.

For me CDing is about my expression as a femme guy. I dont feel i change all that much as far as body language, it is a little softer, but i think its more from me letting my male guard down. More than actively trying to be feminine.
I live with both genders, i guess both sides show through each other in either mode or mindset im in.

Great post Inna

-Donni-

[Cynthia Anne]

When I'm dressed I feel more complete! Even my atitude changes! I'm much more calm and a lot easyeir to get along with! I feel it's because I'm happy and feel good about myself! Hugs!

[NathalieX66]

I can lose weight and be more dainty, and emulate feminine movements, and copy women's fashion down to the nth degree, which I love all of it. But unless the male libido isn't there, and I'm not on hormone replacement therapy, I really truly don't feel feminine.
Yeah, I call myself gender fluid as a matter of personal expression.

[connie23]

Hi!
When I am dressed completely, I feel really different. I feel pretty and soft and open to feelings that I would not accept when I am dressed as a male. It is hard to describe, but, dressing frees a part of me that is trapped in men's clothing. I think I am actually nicer and more open.
Do others feel this way??
Connie

[KellyJameson]

Perhaps women also have to learn how to walk like a "women" Think of all those rules of days gone by that mothers used to teach their daughters. Cross your legs, Sit up Straight, Head Back, Act like a lady ect... Modern women seem to move every which way now and I only see a pattern to their behavior when they are trying to seduce/entice/attract another. They act feminine the same way men act masculine
it is just a role they cast off when not needed and used to project superiority based on breeding, a complete illusion.

More and more I see women in public acting in ways that were traditionally reserved for men, that hyper femininity
only seems to be used for seduction not reputation any longer. Even physical violence by women is much more common.

My whole life people have been telling me I act like a girl and it was never used as a compliment. Masculinity and femininty are largely cultural constructs that can be learned or unlearned by anyone, it is no different than being on stage in front of an audience.

The real problem is when you mind/brain has been shaped/formed without your knowledge or understanding into the opposite sex from the body you inhabit and you try to act according to the cultures expectations based on your body and not your mind leaving you angry because the only way to feel normal in your mind is to use symbols of femininity to counter the cultures symbols of masculinity that have been pushed down your throat because of your body. In my humble albeit angry opinion because it sucks being trapped between two worlds but damn do I love fashion.

[Kate Simmons]

When I am in femme "mode" I feel I am fulfilling the part and role of a woman. The only difference being the obvious genetic physicality.The movements and gestures seem to flow naturally and effortlessly once I let down the male facade as you say.In short it's easier for me to be a woman than to be a man, despite my body.:)

[noeleena]

Hi,

What if you never dressed as to the meaning here, did not stomp around like some males do .did not think as a true male let alone act like one or thought as one.

not even a line backer. or heavy duty looking male , & then on the other hand did not look like a girl ./ female / woman.

yet did think in a way that held to gether both male & female tho not totaly compleat in ether. some of us are caught in the middle & have both details going on . I S .

The way we are has nothing to do with how or not we are brought up just who we are & can move freely between the two. too a greater or lesser extent ,
Can we really be one or the other. i spos one could act a part. tho i dont belive or accept its real. i cant ,
My wireing is both. M & F.

We are born with what we need well i did, as to who we are, tho we can learn things yet is that really us,
i came equipped with what i needed & that comes from with in . not a learned to be female, because for me being female is a part of who i am & yes that part of who i am as male. for me its not one with out the other,
Different yes, & that makes who i am as a person.

...noeleena...

[LeaP]

I never feel male or female, CD'ed or not. I just feel like me, and my identity doesn't really fit either pole. I ACT male quite deliberately, though, every single, solitary day, and the consciousness of the act and effort has never diminished. You mentioned "years of carefully trained masculinity" in your post, which just nails my experience. I even practiced how I walk and my expression from my earliest years in order to mask who I am. I was even caught at it once: In my 20's, I was deliberately focusing on keeping a kind of stern look as I walked along a street in Boston. A street person, of all people, stopped me and asked why I was so angry! I've been corrected over the years in how I walk, hold my hands or move my fingers, sing, smile or look at people, engage people in a nice or peronal way, posture, dress, and so many other things it's hard to recall them all. All to press me in the direction of proper male presentation. It's hard to drop, even when dressed. I'm the most myself when by myself, mostly myself when alone with my wife and children, and not at all myself anywhere else, not even a little bit.

Lea

[lady di]

I feel the way I always wanted fem & comfy

[rebekkadg]

I think I put up barriers around a lot of my emotions and feelings when I am simply a man dressed as a man. But when I put on the makeup, the wig, the clothes and everything a lot of those barriers go down. I am more in touch with my emotions. I already have a lot of feminine mannerisms as a man and they just get more enhanced when I am in full girl mode. Not everything is perfectly fem or masculine. There are some masculine traits that I have whether I am being a guy or a girl--such as being fairly competitive among other things, but these are traits I have seen plenty of natural women have as well.

I think our own emotional comfort level when we are men varies greatly and for whatever reason--upbringing, some secret shame, fear, or just trained reaction we suppress a lot of our additudes, feelings, wants, natural reactions, and so on. But since we are more in touch with our feminine we release a lot of that suppressed stuff when we do whatever it is that makes us feel like we are feminine and don't have to hide it. Since dressing up lets us see that feminine side it likely is a big release point for most with this kind of problem. Again that would not apply to all of us, but I think for many of us dressing up is the thing that signals to us that it is ok to let down all those walls (and tension associated with them which leads to dressing up feeling even better). And again there are many who are very in touch with all this stuff regulardless and wouldn't feel much different either way. I would suppose that many who do feel differently dressed up would also start to feel more the same not dressed up over time as well as comfort level set in.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Hi!
When I am dressed completely, I feel really different. I feel pretty and soft and open to feelings that I would not accept when I am dressed as a male. It is hard to describe, but, dressing frees a part of me that is trapped in men's clothing. I think I am actually nicer and more open.
Do others feel this way??
Connie
For the most part, this is the way I feel.

[NV Susan]

Gee Inna, I don't know where I fit in here. I feel and think as a women expecting softness and femme charm almost ALL the time, wether cross dressed or not!!!

[Veronica27]

My awareness is that I am a man, regardless of how I am dressed. I do not know what it would feel like to be a woman, simply because I am not one. Altering one little aspect of my overall self, such as my appearance, does not magically make me aware of the unknown, but it does give me a sense of the sensations that a woman must feel when she wears such items. But those superficial sensations have nothing to do with actually being a woman.

What I do find is that I am more relaxed when I have an opportunity to crossdress fully and immerse my self into my self-created visual image of a woman for a while. This has less to do with femininity and more to do with shedding the demands and stresses of masculinity. The external appearance enables me to release the ingrained hold on me of decades of societal teaching and pressure to live up to society's standards of masculinity and manhood. We all possess characteristics that society has categorized as feminine, whether we are male or female, but men are taught to suppress much of them. Crossdressing enables us to release some of that pent up femininity if we wish, but that is much different than "becoming a woman". It is simply being ourselves. Society dictates what aspects of our nature are masculine or feminine.

Veronica

[Anne2345]

Since the question relates specifically to when crossdressing, I will not address how I feel while in drab. When en femme, I do feel very much feminine, as if I were a woman. It feels right, it is comforting, and for me, it is as it should be. I feel what I believe and perceive to be the bliss and magic of femininity. Which is quite fortunate, because if I felt like a simple man just wearing a dress, that would really, really suck.

[Inna]

Gee girls, you never fail to astonish, however, this time the wealth of emotional content is rather grand. I can feel that underlying feeling of letting go the pretense is very strong, and self expression, in our case, fluidity of gender, is such a necessary part of life.

As for me a transsexual woman and a former crossdresser my self, I have encountered similar observations to many here. As a male while back I used to be grim and angry and often was reminded to smile, now however, I smile all the time, hearing comments such as "you have a beautiful smile or a certain glow about you" I do often giggle to the mirror image seeing her becoming, oh what a feeling, entirely absent when I was a MAN!

To me crossdressing or further embrace of full time "becoming", is nowhere near man in the dress but the celebration of self trapped, self awaiting acknowledgement and seeking love and acceptance for whom one truly is.

[SusanLCD]

[QUOTE=Inna;2643562] When crossdressing do you feel as a woman, expecting softness, fluidity and fem charm, or do you simply feel entirely male in the dress?

I'm OK to be a male. I don't find it fulfilling, but, it's tolerable. I've never been very good at it. Yet, I try to be the male that society expects me to be. Sometimes, its enjoyable. Mostly, it's just a hum-drum, unpleasant existence.

But, when CDing, I feel very much as I perceive a woman might feel. (Can't be sure, of course.) I definitely don't feel like male-me in a dress. I feel like an entirely different person. Is it a role I play and within which I hide? I don't know; probably. But, Susan and her male counterpart are entirely different personalities. Totally separate. (Almost Ms. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.) Susan feels lighter, more open to the world.

I find it curious that mixing the 2 personalities causes me to experience an intense feeling of irritation and frustration that I don't like; a definite clash. When Susan is talking with others about shopping, food, bills, job duties or any "normal" topic, she talks, chuckles, shares, and generally enjoys herself. However, when discussing topics unique to CDing (sucn as with other TGs), her stomach knots up and she withdraws. It's as if she doesn't want to be reminded that she will have to return to male mode, soon. The coach will become a pumpkin, again, at midnight. Ughhh!

So, Susan definitely doesn't feel like a male in a dress.

Regarding "softness, fluidity, and fem charm", I wish I could confidently say I exhibit those things, but, I suspect I don't. I want and try to do so and a few have told me I do well at it. I don't walk like a lumberjack. I speak more softly. But, I'm doing it consciously and intentionally with the hope that, with time, it will become 2nd nature. I get called ma'am about 1 out of every 3 or 4 times I interface with someone and I use that to measure how well I'm presenting. (The other times, no pronoun, which is still better than "sir.")

Thank you for this question. It has caused me to think about some things and confront some feelings that I have avoided.

[docrobbysherry]

Look at my videos!:daydreaming:

In my stills I almost always look fem.
But, looking at my videos; I move, walk, gesture, pretty much do EVERYTHING like a man in a dress!:sad:

[Shaila Storm]

All women in a dress here and when I 'm in men's clothing ( which I hate ) I am all femme . Girls you all have great answers.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Well for me when I am in girl mode I act, move and in all respects I am very feminine! In guy mode I am a guy to the point if you seen me in guy mode you would not even know that I have a girl side.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, I,for one, love you for who you are Inna.:)

[*Vanessa*]

I never feel like a man dressed in women's cloths. I only feel like I am dressed in my cloths, the right style, color and gender.

[Cheryl T]

Personally I've had a few cd friends comment to me that I carry myself in a very feminine way when I'm dressed. I've had my spouse tell me the same as well.
When dressed I would have to say that I feel and think as a woman. I feel complete, at ease with myself and the world, and that this is how I am supposed to be and feel. I never feel like a man in a dress or that I am acting a part.

[Debra Russell]

I really feel natural, fem and comfortable when dressed - feminine mannerisms and movements (I think) really at peace with my self. In drab I am a tad bit on the pessimistic and grouchy side and my male self is forced to perform his daily ritural - although I do this well I long for the time I get to be Debra.........................Debra

[carhill2mn]

When "dressed" I definitely do not feel as a "male in a dress"! I do everything that I can to present a "womanly image" and to act as a lady would act.