Besides this website....

[SmileS12]

Where can one go, besides the local LGBT to talk to someone in person about what we do. Seems I hear if you are just starting to get out, the idea places to go is gay bars. I'm just wondering how everyone else here feels about that, do they go there, and what other options are there, because there are a lot of hateful, tunnel vision, seeing black and white only people out there. The problem with LGBT is I don't know a lot about it, and what I have seen is rally's etc. I'm just not interested in rallying. I'm a blender. Not a Rally type. I know this might have been brought up before, but I don't feel like I remember seeing it.

[Karren H]

FaceBook... Millions of us out there. All shapes and sizes and orientations.

[VickysBFF]

Smile: There are support groups in many communities; you can do a Google search to find them and I would imagine that a good-sized city like St. Louis would have at least one if not more.
LGBT nightclubs are generally safe places for CDs to go out to but the LGBT community is much more than nightclubs and rallies/marches/etc. There are LGBT churches, concerts, plays, sports leagues.... I could go on. There are no shortage of opportunities for you to take advantage of to go out in places/situations that are friendly to the CD community.

[AndreaCD1963]

FaceBook... Millions of us out there. All shapes and sizes and orientations.

Yes, what Karen said. I've made some really nice new friends on facebook.

[StarrOfDelite]

If you mean F2F, then social networking sites are a good place to start, as Karen suggested. Facebook and MySpace are well-monitored and relatively safe. You might also look at Tagged, a very volatile site, sort of halfways between meat market places like the friend finder sites, and the well-monitored social sites. Some people have hundreds of friends, and you might be able to find simpatico people near you just by sifting through the friends of your friends.

I'm ambiguous about the LGBT bars suggestion. If you have a club near you which has monthly Girls Nights Out and have the intestinal fortitude to go to one of them solo, then the odds are almost 100% that you will meet local CD/TV girls who will welcome you with open arms. If it's not a GNO I'd go to a gay bar in DRAB during a slower time period to check it out and talk to the bartenders, and see how welcoming and friendly they would be to transgenders. Going to any bar alone while presenting as a woman can be misconstrued as an invitation.

[christina s]

Reddit has a decent comunity ( it can be slow at times) but is still nice .

[Melissa Rose]

A Google search will often find transgender social groups in an area. Not all groups are activists and some meet more for social and friendship purposes. There is one is St. Louis http://www.stlouisgenderfoundation.org . In the Meeting Place section of this forum, on page 1 is a thread asking if there are other St. Louis girls on this forum. That might be a great place to start making some contacts.

[Toni Citara]

From personal experience, and various conversations, some of the patrons in gay bars don't take kindly to hetro-crossdressers. Haven't had anybody kick my ass out of a bar, but the whole "you are or you ain't" conversation seems to be prevalent. Much the way militant gays don't like bisexuals... you either are, or you're not, you can't "dabble" when you get the urge. Wearing a pair of heels and a skirt on a saturday night in a gay bar might be okay, then again it might piss off certain patrons.

Just my two pennies...

[sanderlay]

Where can one go, besides the local LGBT to talk to someone in person about what we do. Seems I hear if you are just starting to get out, the idea places to go is gay bars. I'm just wondering how everyone else here feels about that, do they go there, and what other options are there, because there are a lot of hateful, tunnel vision, seeing black and white only people out there. The problem with LGBT is I don't know a lot about it, and what I have seen is rally's etc. I'm just not interested in rallying. I'm a blender. Not a Rally type. I know this might have been brought up before, but I don't feel like I remember seeing it.

I'm not into to bars... never have been. That's not to say I don't drink now and then in private or at a restaurant. It's just not a place I go. I don't like to socialize with intoxicated persons. Having alcoholism in my family has scared me so I avoid it.

But if you want to blend in... then I recommend different interests and hobby's. It's a great way to make friends and socialize. As far as "what we do"... that varies a lot on this web site. So your going to need to describe what you want to do. If your looking for others who crossdress then I recommend researching different clubs in your area. Do your research. Take your time. Don't be in a rush. The LGBT community is diverse. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised what available to you if you search. But as always be careful.

As far as... "hateful, tunnel vision, seeing black and white only people"... yes... there out there. But I have yet to have a confrontation with one considering all the people I have talked to and met. I've found there is a lot of fear mongering out there designed to discourage us. When the reality is most people will leave you alone. But I also know my limits. I try to stay around people and try to blend. I work at not being confrontational despite stares and smirks.

[SmileS12]

Well to be honest, I don't drink either, except for the occasional beer or margarita, but I'm tired of just being stuck in the house with this look. So I guess I'm just looking for something to do I guess. The yearly Halloween thing, and sitting around the house is just getting boring. Makes me want to jump in my truck and run to the local K-mart. LOL But no money to buy, all I could do is shop. LOL I just think going out would be more fun with others, since I can't promise my SO will go anywhere with me. Seriously dancing might be fun, although I've not done it on this side of me. It might pose seriously different, but I still think it might be fun. But then ladies dance with ladies all the time. I'm not looking for anything, I'm married and anyone that knows me here, knows I've been married for 23 years.

Toodles,
Eve

[audreyinalbany]

I'm with you, Smiles. I'd like to find something to do dressed that isn't hanging out in bars or shopping. I do spend (way too much) time sitting around the house 'en femme.' I do get out occasionally, but it's usually only to wander through a few stores. I haven't been out to dinner (not much interested in eating alone), or to a movie. I tried to get some interest locally in a monthly book group or some kind of activity that doesn't revolve around being transgendered while still allowing everyone to express their feminine side, but location seems to be a problem. Ya can't necessarily meet in someone's house and bars are, well, bars.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno really. I mostly go to the local LGBT resort/club as that is where most of my friends are and I love to socialize and dance anyway. I could go out in "normal" public and do "normal" things I suppose but am not really interested in going shopping, to the movies, shows or out to dinner dressed simply for the sake of doing it. I equate dressing with fun myself and that is pretty much what it amounts to for me.:battingeyelashes::)

[DonnaT]

I've been to the clubs to meet others I already knew online. I doubt I would have gone otherwise.

The same can be said for meeting others at trans support group meetings. Once friendships are developed then occasional outings elsewhere (restaurants, museums, shopping, etc.) may follow.

[Elle1946]

I found things that you might be interested in at TRI ESS on the internet.

[msginaadoll]

I chat online at crossdresserchatcity.com
There are a bunch of great folks there.

[heel_addict]

Where can one go, besides the local LGBT to talk to someone in person about what we do. Seems I hear if you are just starting to get out, the idea places to go is gay bars.

Much like Toni Citara mentioned, gay bars are not suitable for this purpose. For me at least, they wouldn't. Gay bars are for homosexual people when most crossdressers are heterosexual. You wouldn't want to hang out in there for the reason Toni mentioned but also because gay people wouldn't really understand and support and enjoy this lifestyle of yours. Sexual orientation and clothing are two completely different things!

[SmileS12]

The only reason I brought up the gay bars, was because that was what my gay friend told me. He said it would be a safe haven. So maybe I should ask him again, now of course he was a drag queen when he lived in my area, but he no longer lives here, but we keep in contact, and he knows I'm hetero.

Toodles,

Eve

[LeaP]

So who has actual experience in any of the face-to-face support groups? I have zero interest in anything like a gay bar. I don't care if anyone is gay or not, I'm simply married and monogamous. Bars of any kind are a non-starter, never mind a gay bar. I get the (possible) acceptance thing, but to say that some might find it an invitation is an understatement.

I've looked into Tri-Ess and it came off as too strictured. Who needs another set of rules? Aside from that, it seems to compromise the CD support aspect by overcompensating for the support needs of SO's. That's my characterization only. I'd love to hear a countervailing view on Tri-Ess based on actual experience, though, as well as comments on any other groups.

Lea

[Rachel Flowers]

I've been (in male clothes) once to a support group here in the UK which met in a gay pub which was friendly and accommodating. I can imagine that having struggled for decades to get social attitudes to catch up with legal status of homosexuality, L&Gs could view CDs and Bis as undermining their political position, but I've not yet been out enough to encounter that myself. A bi GG I know has, however, and it doesn't sound pleasant.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well im one of those who is out there with many 100s of people & have joined groups a good few, im a people person. & a camara goes as well.

okay i may be a bit different to you . so any way a member of women groups lots of friends meeting people from day to day, is normal.

youll know where im coming from , so join some groups , have you other interests things you like doing hobbies what ever taks you'r fancy.

For my self i dont do the pubs as i have no interest & most who do go are male . we live in a small Village so i do know whats going on . & i know a lot of people . funny as we have the Army here doing manuvers & choppers in as well a good two companys on patrol, reg force, i think the 13 th is open day,

any way , get involved with womens groups, & you can have a lot of fun as well.

...noeleena...

[DonnaT]

The only reason I brought up the gay bars, was because that was what my gay friend told me. He said it would be a safe haven. So maybe I should ask him again, now of course he was a drag queen when he lived in my area, but he no longer lives here, but we keep in contact, and he knows I'm hetero.


Although not all gay bars are the same, I've been to three different ones, and a lesbian oriented one as well, and never had problems, or noticed any others having problems with the non-trans folk. Most are there for a good time, a small few are there because they are trans admirers. So, I would suggest that many are safe havens, and surely a safer place than, say, a sports bar at least.

[StarrOfDelite]

At the Girls Nights Out at the LGBT bars I've been to (four bars and about ten GNO's, which admittedly is not a huge statistical sample) there have been lots of hetero crossdressers who attend just to socialize with the Girls. The owners usually make a pretty good bit of coin on these nights, and don't tolerate any nonsense which would affect their income. These are all in the culturally bereft waste lands of Ohio and Pennsylvania, too, areas better known for football players and steel and auto workers who depth charge their beers.