is it even possible?

[wish4naught]

I've been having a discourse via flickr with another member who was interested in being my bf. I told him that even though I cd I wasn't interested in men. He replied that I was so deep in the closet I didn't even know. Is that possible?

I mean I've never been interested in men in drab or when dressed, but I've never given it thought either. It was just given/assumed that I'm straight and that it would be obvious if I weren't. Perhaps I'm totally off base?

[wantstocrossdress]

same here...

i'm not interested in men... whether i be in 'man' or 'femme' mode all dressed up. im comfiest with women or ********/effems but i really dont seek men. even if they guy would dress up like me, id still feel awkward. same goes for the discrete gays, im not into them.

i guess you can call me a 'lesbian crossdresser' :D

[Karren H]

Guess you will never really know for sure till you try it?

[Kate Simmons]

Search your feelings and see what they tell you my friend.:)

[mspaulasue]

Does he have to jump straight in to being a boyfriend? How about a date, no strings attached. You both could discover if this is something you would like to pursue. Personally, Ive always fantasized about having a man take me out and treat me like a lady. Open doors, order a meal or drink for me, compliment me, maybe even a goodnight kiss. Probably no further than that. What fun for someone who wants to look and feel as feminine as possible.

[DonnaT]

I suggest avoiding anyone who tries to goad you into a date in the manner he is. You know who you are and certainly should know by now whether or not you are interested in men.

[Stephanie47]

Hey, you're 23 and look really nice. The guy wants into your panties. He wants to confuse you so he can score with you. Don't be conned by guys who want to take advantage of you. At 23 you're probably confused enough about cross dressing. You don't need to be lured into trying something else because HE thinks you may enjoy it. Just because you wear a dress some of the time does not mean you're gay. Fantasy does not have to become reality. And, there is much to the old age saying "Curiosity killed the cat!"

[carhill2mn]

No, you are not totally off base; he is! I feel just as you do. My sexual orientation is heterosexual even though I present myself
as a woman.

[Kittyagain]

I have posted this before. You see two men kissing giving each other the full tongue; how does that make you feel?

After that, I agree with what Stephanie posted.

Kitty

[Fiona Scott]

All sounds a bit unsavory to me. I think I agree with Stephanie above, you look good and he just wants to get in your knickers. Give him a wide birth. His opinion of how deep you are is irrelevant. In any case you should be treated with more respect than that.....he is well out of order.
Fiona
xxx

[Tora]

Go SLOW, make sure it is what you want. Don't be his one night stand. Be friends first.

[Melissa Rose]

Sure, almost anything is possible. However, only you know how you feel and what you want. Don't let anyone talk you into something you do not want or are not ready for. Don't give in or submit because you think it is what others think is right or what a lot of others do. Be true to yourself. Don't get trapped in the idea that having a boyfriend or a sexual encounter with a male validates you as a woman. It doesn't. Gender is not defined by sex or sexual preference.

How in the heck can this guy know that about you? He appears to be projecting his beliefs or desires onto you, or working from faulty assumptions. This is not someone with your best interests in mind - only his. I have met this type before and it is best to keep your distance and proceed with a lot of caution.

[StarrOfDelite]

I think that you should not let this person's comments influence you unduly. Obviously neither I nor any of the forum posters has knowledge of what you have disclosed to this person, but unless you've indicated some interest in men, you shouldn't be too concerned about the opinion of someone whose never met you or engaged in a real conversation with you. Essentially isn't he saying you're gay merely because you're a closeted crossdresser?

I am not passing judgment on whether you are Gay or not, that's up to you to decide. What I'm saying is that you'd be foolish to be rushed into making conclusions about a subject as complex as sexuality on such a flimsy basis.

[kimdl93]

I don't think it would be too difficult to answer this question. If you have no interest in sex with men generally, and no interest in relationships with men, generally, and then specificaly have no interest in this particular guy...then I don't think this has anything to do with a closet.

This guy sounds a bit creepy. If he really wants to meet other guys, CD or otherwise, he needs to go out and meet them in the real world...not cruise photo sites.

[Barbara Dugan]

I mean I've never been interested in men in drab or when dressed, but I've never given it thought either
My question would be, do you don't give it thought or do you supress those thoughts? I know I did...I did supress any kind of sexual thought most of my life because I never felt comfortable on my gender identity, I consider myself gay but it took me a while to figure it and to be honest there are moments when I have trouble accepting it....I think you should give it a honest thought, you may be gay or you may be not gay...you and only you have the real answer :hugs:

[Nancy (PA)]

The mere fact that you are even thinking about this seems to indicate that there might be something inside you that needs to explore this option, so my opinion would be to "scratch the itch", with the right person. From what you said about this guy, though, I'd steer way clear of him. There have been plenty of posts on here about us gals being dated by GM's, and being treated like they should have been. For them it was a wonderful experience. I also have this itch, but I'm not sure I could do it, but who knows.

[SandraAbsent]

I see this topic so much it amazes me. In geek code !gender = sexual preference. In other words they are not the same thing. Only person that can decide what gender you identify as is YOU, and the only person that can decide your sexual preference is YOU, but the are so far apart from each other that it drives me crazy when some jerk on a chat room tries to tell you that you are repressing something. Girl just do what feels right for you and forget the rest.

[CynthiaD]

It was just given/assumed that I'm straight and that it would be obvious if I weren't.

Yes, it would be obvious if you weren't.

Don't do anything you don't want to do.

If you change your mind later, that's ok too.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone.

[Kaz]

Just take care... there are some wierdos out there! I have often wondered over the years and increasingly so nowadays as I have some strange fantasies creeping in. I have been happily married for most of my life and have totally enjoyed relations with women without ever feeling attracted to men. My fantasies are always about me being a woman in the relationship, not a guy nor even a CD.

But... who knows... you may want to explore this if it is you. But you need to make that decision! Do not be coerced into anything. Quite frankly his proposal is creepy and I would steer well clear, whilst keeping an open mind about how you feel about your sexuality. Being CD doesn't mean you are sexually attracted to men, but it also doesn't mean that you aren't! There is no positive correlation between the two. There are more gays who are not CD than who are CD, and there are more CDs who are not gay than who are gay.

I will always question my own sexuality because it is in my nature to do so... but so far I have always come out hetero. I just like pretending I am a woman some of the time!

[Debb]

What Donna T and Carole, and so many others, said. Coaxing you into a relationship? Does that sound like someone on the up-and-up?

You'd know if you were interested in men.

[t-girlxsophie]

Sounds like the guy was wanting his rocks off,and was trying his hardest to get into your panties

Sophie

[HelenR2]

It sounds to me like the guy is looking for someone he can control and he sees you as that easy target. Tell him to put an egg in his shoe and.....beat it!

[Kelly DeWinter]

I've been having a discourse via flickr with another member who was interested in being my bf. I told him that even though I cd I wasn't interested in men. He replied that I was so deep in the closet I didn't even know. Is that possible?

I mean I've never been interested in men in drab or when dressed, but I've never given it thought either. It was just given/assumed that I'm straight and that it would be obvious if I weren't. Perhaps I'm totally off base?

This has "Danger ! Will Robinson Danger!" written all over it. Beware of 'trolls',tvbaiters,preadators and the like.

[gabimartini]

First, don't pay attention to what some people who barely know you say about you and your sexuality. You are what you are, not what they wished or thought you were.

Second, my gay friends say that they always knew about their sexuality. Some even dated (and married!) women, denying their sexualities to please everybody else but themselves. But ultimately they knew and eventually came out. So, I'd say that if you were gay, or even bi, you would've probably figured it out by now.

Bottomline, I don't think you are off base.

[Rachel Flowers]

I had assumed all my life I was totally straight. "Everyone's bisexual, I just haven't met any men I've ever fancied" was my motto. Discussing my CDing witha female friend last year encouraged me to examine this assumption, and I realised there are male friends and men I've met that I've felt "drawn towards" and now realise that's been attraction, infatuation. I'm in a very happy stable marriage with a supportive wife so experimenting with sexual activity is off the radar, but now I can relax when I'm in company with handsome men, as my male side enjoys their companionship and Rachel enjoys a good eyeful!

[eluuzion]

is it even possible?

Anything is possible,
Unless it isn't.

hiya Wish4naught,
Hey, this is the internet, so Everybody has to be honest. You can’t post things that are not true on the internet. I would believe him. But, I’d hold out until he asks you to marry him. Has he sent you a picture of himself yet (with his head inserted on top of some other guy’s great body?) :heehee::D

Lucky for you... he does not sound like a cult member looking for recruits. Let’s see, discounting manipulator, predator, or soul mate? I am curious… What else do you know about this amateur gender psychoanalyst, other than that he wants to be your boyfriend?:daydreaming:

Not enough information to make any judgments of course. But one option might be to refrain from discussing topics/issues with him where you state or imply that you are “not sure” about your feelings or position on the matter. That is like blood to a shark.

"but he seemed like such a nice boy"...lol
good luck,:hugs:

:love: