Does your SO Know?

[Joanne_2003]

How many SO's know about your crossdressing? After I told mine she tried to understand and accept it and after about a year she is better with it but still doesn't fully accept it, but she tolerates it for my sake and I don't have to hide it.

She has even complained to me that she feels that she should be the only pretty thing in the house LOL then she says I make one UGLY woman LOL.;)

[Julie York]

It's a shame, because with just a little luck, opportunity, and a deal of booze (ha) you could show her and persuade her and encourage her that she IS the most beautiful pretty thing in the house. Doesn't take too much imagination.

Now .....If you made her feel special...maybe she would return the feeling?

Good luck.:thumbsup:

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Joanne, have you considered asking your SO to come here? Especially with the GG forum, she'd have someone else to talk to, which might help her become more comfortable with it.

Also as Julie says, try making her feel like she's the special woman in the house -- and don't forget to make sure she's got some "man time" -- and who knows....

[Vivian Best]

My wife has know for three years. At first she was appaled and said it was down right weird. She doesn't say much now except to comment that my bra is showing or something like that. She is coming around but it takes time.

Vivian:rose2:

[AngGG]

Ummmm ....I know about my so's crossdressing:p :D

[VickyTan_81]

My SO definitely knows, she's very open-minded and has accepted it but guess still has some issues with seeing her "man" all dolled up so even though she's ok with it, she prefers not to see me dressed.

[Robertacd]

My wife knows about RobertaCD and is quite excepting. It was she understood how hard it was for me to tell her and was not really angry that we were married for a few years before I did finally tell her.

[TGMarla]

Yes, mine knows, but the issue has been brushed under the rug...for now. I don't quite know what to make of it, but I do know that she is not accepting of it. She has asked me why I do this, and I find that I cannot give her a definitive answer. In all of the soul-searching and introspection I have done, I still cannot clearly state why I crossdress. And lets face it, girls, it's not just crossdressing, it's female emulation. It's more than just clothing. She has said that she likes "manly men", and she just cannot accept that the man in her life likes to be a woman. And she has also asked how she can understand if I cannot completely understand it myself. She's got a point. Yet, the fact that she knows coupled with the fact that we are still together and loving one another gives me hope for our future. One day, perhaps, she will grow to accept even this unconventional facet of me. I'm hopeful.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Marla if it's any consolation, I doubt any of us have the "why" question fully figured out. I think I have a good sense of my motivations, but why I started....that something I still haven't figured out.

I realize it's a trite example, but if you were left-handed (assuming you're not already) you wouldn't be able to explain it either, and not being able to explain it presumeably wouldn't stop her for accepting you. (I'm left-handed and it was only a generation or two ago that we had it literally beaten out of us.)

I realize she likes manly men, but I suspect something of your "softer" side came through and that may have been part of what made you appealing to here. After all many GGs profess to want a man who's tough but tender. We just happen to take that a little literally. ;)

Good luck to you both.

[Francine]

My wife knows about "Francine". Doesn't like her though.
She found out by 'accident' 25 years ago. We have been married for 30 years. Back then, she found a box with women's clothes she couldn't identify. So I "came clean" and told her. Thought I might lose her, but she stayed. I guess I was lucky.

[Holly]

My SO knows... and accepts! HTGurl is a member here as well. She shops with me, goes out with me, helps me with my makeup... she's my wife AND my best friend. Love you, honey!

[marika_jaye]

My wife knows, but has gone through several phases of acceptance. At first she thought it was cool. Then I made the mistake of training her like Pavlov's dog. i.e. Every time I dressed, bedroom nastiness ensued. After I nipped that in the bud she became less interested and slightly less accepting overall.

2 months ago I purged (I know, I know!!), and the wife seemed very happy. Now that I'm rebuilding my inventory, she's apprehensive, but doesn't really object openly.

[DawnRodgers]

My wife knows that I am a crossdresser and has seen me fully dressed a number of times. She still doesn't like it and just puts up with it. She says that she has ni desire to be with anither woman and won't touch me when I am dressed. We sit and watch TV or play cards. I think she thinks that I will outgrow this someday. Hard to believe after forty years of dressing. I have never purged but go through long spells of not dressing in her presence. Frankly, it's no fun to dress when she's around. It's hard to be my feminine self then.
Dawn

[michellejean]

my wife knows ,i told her before we married and i dress as i want too and she even helps me with my make up at times. like when we are going out to a club or mall shopping.michellejean(mrs highheels):) :cool:

[Madeline_K]

Yeah, my g/f knows. I'm fortunate because she seems to be pretty accepting. She has a simple philosophy once I told her: You're still the same person, just wearing different clothes. We have a long distance relationship (she in TX, me in VA), so I haven't been able to test the boundaries of what I can and cannot get away with. But she is one of the few people to see me dressed up, so that's definetly a good thing. I'm one lucky guy/girl, whatever. :p

[migrane_prone]

my fiance knows, i told her about a year back. she is kinda cool with it. she thinks its a little weird, but hopefully with time she will be more cool with it.

[Michelle108]

My wife knows.
I told her shortly after we were married, and she was accepting of it at first, but I think she hoped I would grow out of it. That was 30 years ago!
I deference to her, I only dress when she is out, and we don't talk about it.
Michelle

[paulacd]

My g/f knows although isn't too encouraging about it, although she does tolerate me dressing at home while she is around. She won't go out with Paula though

[andreaboots]

I think after a long time CD'ing in the shadows and not meeting a GG that understands or accepts us the way we are is very stressful. For me, finally, I have met a person that understands me and to a certain degree helps me with various CD issues. She has been so accepting from the moment I shared the news that I CD in various roles. I feel very blessed to say the least and I continually share my thoughts and dressing experiences with her and always ask her advice. I think this helps her to gain even more understanding about my Cd'ing. It has been a real rush in the last couple of years that all the previous ones that were ridden with guilt, self-doubt, isolation and purges have for the most part, melted away. So, there is hope and may I suggest to those girls who are expeiencing difficulties with your SO's acceptance, have you shared this forum with them so that they can see that you're not alone and neither is she???? Love and hugs to all!!!!XXXX

[Sazzle]

I'm single, but I'd feel downright uncomfortable if anyone I got involved with didn't know

[Kayla Smith]

My wife knew about my CDing before we got married, I felt that it was only fair when she moved in with me to let her know but that was 16 years ago and we have been married for 14 years. My wife tolerates it, but I think she is becoming more accepting due to the fact that last Saturday my wife and I went to my first TRI-ESS meeting and she allowed me to go dressed(my first time out ever), even did my hair for me, before that she had told me many times that she did not want me to be out in public dressed.

[cathycduk]

my wife knows , she found out by accident when she found some of my hidden clothes in our attic,at first she thought i was having an affair,then when i told her she found it hard to understand but after a few hard days she told ne she still loved me and within reason she would help me with buying clothes etc.

[Katie Lynn]

my girl knows, she basically discovered it.

Actually yesterday she came up to me and she noticed I hadnt dressed in about a week and was wondering if something was wrong. She was asking me when I would dress again, and basically saying she misses it lol. She is great...

We are to be wed this weekend :)

[Lilith Moon]

I have never purged but go through long spells of not dressing in her presence. Frankly, it's no fun to dress when she's around. It's hard to be my feminine self then.
Dawn
I know exactly what you mean Dawn. My wife knows and has not really accepted it. She acknowledges my freedom to dress on an intellectual level, but is repulsed emotionally. This means that she doesn't try to stop me dressing, but is very uncomfortable about it. This makes it unpleasant for me and so I usually wait for her to go out before I dress :( Sometimes, I'm changing into my femme gear before she gets to the end of our road...this can't be healthy for our relationship. Unfortunately, she hardly ever does go out which means I hardly ever dress right now. I'm definitely getting the CD pressure cooker effect, though, and something has to blow soon :mad:

[GypsyKaren]

Not only does my SO know, she has been such a huge help to me. Her love and understanding has helped me grow into a much better person.

GypsyKaren

[Fiona K]

SHe know but it still isn't easy for either of us. Not sure if it will get easier, time an communication helps
Fiona
xx

[RandiCD]

only told my last girl friend, i think it led to us breaking up 2 years after, she tried to understand, and we even made love while i was dressed (it was awesome) but after awhile she just dident want me to do it around her, ever since we had sex while i was dressed i just wanted it more and more, but i had to go back to just doing it when she wasent home and that was difficult for me. now iam single and plan to tell my dates befor i get serious with them.

[Elaine Taylor]

My SO knows and is very unhappy with it we have been married for 39 years I tried to explain all those years ago before the wedding, but she thought it would be different when we were married,I have tried and tried to change and please her, we are now seeing someone for advice but my wife will not change her views she will not even read about it, I find it so hard to do it behind her back but I can't see any way around it, I feel so alone at times and look forward to chatting to you girls out there.

LOL
Elaine

[Stormgirl]

Single for life :thumbsup: Had too many unpleasant experiences in the past besides I dont need anybody to tell me what to do. :rolleyes:

[Denise Robinson]

My SO knows but doesnt like it. When she asked why i did it i chickened out and said it was for fun. she then said that its the one thing she couldnt handle, as previous boyfriend did it. trouble is after a year of denial it has come back 10 times more intense. the more i release the barriers mentally the more fem i am becoming, i guess i am in for a rough ride. though i cant help what and who i am.

[simonep]

My very first post. My SO knows, I told her about 2 months ago. It was part of a complete renaissance of our sex lives. We had got our act togther after a couple of years and I decided to come clean.

I only wear panties, would liek to try some other things but that is not in the agreement.

She was a bit cool at first, but she was initially concerned then accepting and now plays. Well here we are now and we both have glorious collections, I can wear freely when I travel and occaisionaly when I am at home.

Funny the only other person who knew told me to tell her some time ago.

BTW - the name - Simone Perele - one of my favourite brands.

[Sweet Susan]

The first time I appeared before my wife en femme her draw dropped. She had seen pictures of me before that, but she had never seen me in the flesh. Pictures don't do me justice. She didn't say anything for several seconds. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I can't believe how good you look." It was the best thing she could have said.

[Foot_Fetish]

I have no SO so I'm cool for now.

[Joanne_2003]

Since I came out to my SO things have steadily improved and she even looks for outfits for me. She says if she is going to be dressed up I might as well be more stylish. The more time that passes the more tolerant she has gotten.
Lucky me, she's a keeper.:) :) :)

[Raychel]

My SO does know about some of it but she does not know the whole picture. I must tell her the rest of the story.:confused:

[Falcor]

:o My SO knows, matter a fact, I am the SO. I am helping Falcor with the typing...as he's a bit new to this...computer bit I mean.

We found it interesting to see the many replies, and a bit sad that more SO's are not accepting...why not?

I found it amazing and unusual, but it doesn't bother me at all, I even go shopping for clothes etc...and "Falcor" has told me of the release of stress, guilt and tension in knowing I am OK with it all....he is still the amazing man I married and is a wonderful person...what he wears is only a part of him..

Plus, I am the lucky one, having a husband and a wife...I love the housekeeping, cooking and being spoiled...lucky me...bring on the petticoats..

You should try it ladies...hugs from Down Under..

The SO.

[alisoncdnj]

Yes she knows and she seems very accepting. I have been crossdressing for about the last two years. In the beginning it was just lingerie. Two weeks ago my wife and I went shopping at a lingerie store and I bought my first pair of breast forms. Last weekend we went shopping for clothes and make up and had alot of fun. She helps me with dressing and my make up. She is a terrific wife and I love her so much.

[Ariel_TV]

My g/f knows and has always been accepting . I told her early when we started dating , she didnt mind cause she had a friend crossdressers and dated a Cd before me . I love her very much and she has helped me alot exploring and pushing the boundary of my CDing.

[Sissy Jay]

only told my last girl friend, i think it led to us breaking up 2 years after, she tried to understand, and we even made love while i was dressed (it was awesome) but after awhile she just dident want me to do it around her, ever since we had sex while i was dressed i just wanted it more and more, but i had to go back to just doing it when she wasent home and that was difficult for me. now iam single and plan to tell my dates befor i get serious with them.
My wife has known since we first got together and she now tries to keep it at bay! That is only because we have 2 young boys. We both feel that they are too young to be exposed to this! She is still excepting and helps me when we have our private time. I don't know what I would do without her.
Oh by the way looking at you made me tingly inside. I wish I could be that pretty. yours truely Jay

[Sissy Jay]

Oh yeah! we have been married for 9 years. They may not have all been happy, but the last 3 years have been great and its getting better as time passes.

[Bonnie D]

I told my SO before we were married that I had crossdressed when I was younger. She was so appreciative that I told her this deep dark secret however she then said, "But you don't do that anymore do you?" I replied that I didn't. Not the right thing to do but I did.

After we were married I thought her views on life had relaxed so I told her that I had some articles of lingerie hidden away. She immediately got upset and wanted me to show her where they were hidden, but didn't want to see the articles and then made sure I threw them out.

I soon bought more and found another hiding place. The subject has never come up again and my secret closet has expanded immensely in the last 26 years.

My male self does all the male things as a husband and father and my female self comes out and plays every chance she can get. If my SO finds out I will be living on my own, which won't necessarily be a bad thing.

Bonnie

[Phoebe Reece]

My wife has been knowing and accepting for around 37 years (the whole time we have been married).

[Joni Thomas]

I have been married 31 years and my wife found my clothes several years ago! She is accepting but has never seen me dressed. My hopes are that she will come around and at least take a look at my alter ego!!!!!!!!! I do not press the issue, however I have been shaving little by little and she knows I love being me...........

[Leilani68]

As I have stated on many occasions, My Wife knows.
She is Accepting & Approves of my CD'ing, she did marry me for my more femme side.
It's nice to have someone know, then if you are lucky as myself you can
have a great life together.
Examples:
1) Girl talk, with an understanding Girlfriend/Husband
2) Great QT(quality time)
3) Girls night together- Chick flicks, slumber parties,etc.
4) Shopping together
5) Lastly Still have a man around too, as I do break away from my femmeself to show my male side.
This is a must to let your' S/O know you are still
the Male they admire & love..........:rose:

[HaleyPink2000]

She did help me buy nails last night at walmart and some new polish.

Haley:)

[tiffa]

yes my wife knowe's but i dont think she understands,but sometimes when shopping she will say,that will look nice.The only thing is we have diff tastes and it is hard to not agree with her.:o