Doe syour SO have BI thoughts/tendancies?

[cdsara]

I am just wondering if any of your So's have admitted to having BI tendancies and thats what makes them ok with all this??

[Anna Lorree]

Most emphatically no, she does not. That is part of what makes this difficult for her.

Anna

[cdsara]

mine has said she has always wanted to try it and some womens are very attractive to her. But she is having a real hard time after she found out about me.

[sissystephanie]

My late wife/SO was totally devoted to me, and never had any desire to be Bi!! The very idea of doing anything like that really turned her off! She was just all woman in every way!!

[sweetvictoria]

My SO is not Bi at all. She is perfectly happy with me both as a man and as Victoria

[Aprilrain]

My late wife/SO was totally devoted to me, and never had any desire to be Bi!! The very idea of doing anything like that really turned her off! She was just all woman in every way!!

are lesbians not all woman because they are not into men??

[BRANDYJ]

I don't think a wife being bi,, or having bisexual thoughts makes her desire her husband when he is dressed. However, if she has bi thoughts or is in fact bisexual, she ,may be more accepting. Anyone that has any type of alternate lifestyle interests such as BDSM or D/s, is simply more accepting of others alternate lifestyles.
Like many, I have bi thoughts or fantasies when dressed...and ONLY when dressed, but I would be turned off if my SO presented as a man.

[Marissa333]

My wife mentioned before we got married that she tried to kiss girls a few times because she thought it would be sexy. When I came out, I mentioned this and asked if that might make it a bit easier for her to handle my crossdressing. She then denied ever telling me that or ever wanting to do that. She does encourage me to dress in lingerie when we get intimate, but claims to have no attraction to it whatsoever. She has touched my breast forms only once, and did so in a jokey "honk honk"kind of a way. I am very sure my wife is not bi, but I think she is denying her bisexual desires to keep from encouraging me too much maybe.

[Rachel Flowers]

She may be unusual but I knew my wife had found a few female celebs attractive, though it was only when I came out to her recently as CD that she confessed the full scope of her attraction towards women (and she has fab taste, I have to say!) and I can say she is very turned on by being in bed with Rachel, especially as she has never had the guts to try anything with another GG. She is still turned on by my male side as well, in case anyone's wondering.

[shybi]

my wife is very bi-curious but just to shy to do anything about it, i think thats why she is so understanding towards me.


wendy xxx

[alice clair]

My wife is bi and so am i but she knew i crossdressed before we told each other

[**Sasha**]

I am just wondering if any of your So's have admitted to having BI tendancies and thats what makes them ok with all this??

I think my wife's bi-curios nature has allowed me to be who I am. She is to shy to pursue her desires, so she acts them out on me.

[kimdl93]

My SO has, but I don't think that's the reason she supports me. I think its primarily because its her nature to be very understanding and open minded.

[Jenniferathome]

No, not at all. In fact, in my case, Jennifer is welcome in the house but never in the bedroom. We don't even hold hands when I am in girl mode. I suspect that even those women who allow their SO being dressed while being intimate are simply accepting of their SO and not bi-sexual.

[EllieOPKS]

In our younger days I think she might have experimented. I saw her in a pretty heavy make out session with a friend of ours (after being out drinking). She has become much more conservative over the years and therefore I stay very closeted.

[Cheryl T]

None what so ever....
Her acceptance is strictly born of love and her desire to understand and support me in whatever it is that I do.

[Melissa.Lynn88]

My girlfriend is is far from being bi. I recently came out to her about my dressing and she supports me and is accepting of it. However, she is not attracted to me like that while I'm in girl mode.

[Aprilrain]

Come on guy lets be realistic here just because you are dressed like woman doesn't make you one, no Lesie tendencies needed for a wife to be supportive of her MAN regardless of what HE is wearing.

[DonniDarkness]

Why is it that everyone refusese to believe that a wife can be attracted to her man when he is en-femme. She is attracted to me in guy mode as well as when im dressed. Because she is attracted to ME. Not my clothes.

Thats realistic. And who the hell said that we think we are women....they are talking about women being attracted to women visually, and when men are dressed they are producing the visual illusion of looking like a woman. Some women are attracted to other women does that make her less of a woman? Or does your definition of womanhood directly correlate with how manly your man is.....

Dont be so damn hateful.

-Donni-

[SquirrelGirl]

I am a bi female, but I don't think that has anything to do with my attraction to CDers. It's two completely different attractions if that makes sense. Being with another woman is nothing more than we are pleasing each other sexually. Being with a SO, whether a CDer or not, is about love and commitment, a bond between two people.

[J'lyn GG]

I do not have any bi-sexual tendencies. Me not being attracted to my husband enfemme has more to do with the smell of heavy makeup, perfume and other things than the clothes. WHen he dresses, it is a constant reminder of all the lies. That is not easy to get past.

TGSara, I have to say this. If I am off base, I'm sorry. You seem desperate to find any reason why she is not accepting the cding. Any reason to MAKE her accept. You have received hundreds of responses to your posts. How many have told you that her acceptance (if she can get there) WILL TAKE TIME. It may take a couple of months or a couple of years. You cannot MAKE her accept and be okay. You have to give her reason to WANT to save her marriage. Give her some time to come to terms with this information before you flaunt it. The only way she will get to a place where she may be okay is if you respect her boundaries and comfort levels. And yes, that may include not dressing for a period of time. Continue to talk about it, but she needs to have time where her thinking can calm down and she isn't having it 'in her face'. JMO, take it for what it is.

[Aprilrain]

I am a bi female, but I don't think that has anything to do with my attraction to CDers. It's two completely different attractions if that makes sense. Being with another woman is nothing more than we are pleasing each other sexually. Being with a SO, whether a CDer or not, is about love and commitment, a bond between two people.

Very well stated! I feel the same way. My romantic relationships with woman have not worked out well but the sex is fine. I'm just built to have a relationship with a man, it just make more sense to me.

Donni: no one is being hateful, I think you misunderstand. My point is even if a wife is fully supportive, even if she plays along in the bedroom! to her her CDer is still a man therefore she need not have lesbian or Bi tendencies.

I think its hard for men to understand that female sexuality is not so visually dependent like a mans sexuality generally is. I don't go around checking out guys (well usually.....i mean if its Brad Pitt!) I find certain men attractive because of their attitude their perceived self confidence, sometimes I just like the way he's dressed or maybe he does something cute or silly its very different than checking out some chicks tits!

[suchacutie]

Not at all, and she's made that very clear :)

tina

[CallieH]

An ex- of mine was very bi-, and into roleplay as well, so she actually encouraged me to dress up to satisfy that kink.

[Shananigans]

I am bisexual.

However, being bisexual does not inherently mean that you are into crossdressing at all. Bisexuality means that you are attracted to both men AND women.

I had a bi friend have a come apart when one person insinuated that she might be most most into pre-op TS due to the fact she is bi. She said she was into men and women.

I think there are probably a lot of bi people that fall into that boat. I think pansexuals are more likely to be the most open towards TG people. But, a lot of admirers and fetishists identify as such...and, so I kind of side-step the label.

I am attracted to people that I find attractive. The person that I am most attracted to is my SO, who is TG. But, for the other 99% of people, I am usually most attracted to GGs and GMs. Does this mean I wouldn't date another TG person or a TS? No, I'd be open to it. But, I wouldn't necessarily seek them out. I'd probably just start daring someone that I found attractive and interesting...if they turned out to be a CD or a TS...that's ok too.

But, I agree with Brandy that being a person of an alternative lifestyle might make you more open to a CDing SO. However, I think this is an exception and not a rule. Bisexuality just means you are attracted sexually to both men and women...there's nothing in it about a TG person.

EDIT:
Having said this, it doesn't mean that bisexual people aren't attracted to CDs or TS. I certainly find my SO attractive when he is dressed. Does this have anything to do with bisexuality? Yes, because I am attracted to femininity. Does this mean the next bisexual person wouldn't stand there with hands on their hips and say, "Well, that's just not the same thing! I'm not into it!" That's very likely too...and, I've seen it happen. It just depends on the person.

Having said this, the porn industry is really confused. I see a lot of CDing or pre-op TS material that is directed towards lesbian or bisexual women (or, guys into girl-on-girl stuff). Sometimes the titles will say something about a "bisexual fantasy." It's really not an inherent bisexual fantasy if we go back to the definition of what a bisexual person is. But, there is a popular idea going about (and, even on here) that a bi-girl would find someone with male genitalia and who is also feminine really attractive. And, being bisexual, I couldn't disagree more. It doesn't mean that you find mixed genitalia the ultimate fantasy...there's another label for that which doesn't apply to us. Being bisexual....I really love ALL of the female anatomy, so this isn't really my "bisexual fantasy". So, this is pretty wrongly labeled. And, I think this is why my bisexual friend got a little snappy when she had these same assumptions pushed on her.

HOWEVER, I do appreciate that my SO and can have "girl time." We are pretty flexible sexually in our gender roles, and I find that this is very nice. This probably has something to do with my bisexuality; however, again, I say it's an exception and not a rule. Most bisexual people that I know just are sexually involved with both men and women...NOT at the same time. Quite a few of them have a preferred gender. That's why we say the old "60/40" joke...you are 60% attracted to one sex and 40% attracted to the other. But, it's just a joke. At the same time, all the other bisexual people that I know have not been involved with CD (as far as I am aware). It is true that every bisexual person that I know is very open-minded though, so it's quite possible they may be more open-minded to a CDing SO. Would they find their SO attractive dressed? I don't know. I know that I find my SO attractive as both a man AND as a woman...but, at the same time when she is dressed, she is a woman...I don't look at her as a CD.

So, with being on a tangent... I think it's really complicated. EVERYTHING has to be taken on an individual basis. Therefore, I wouldn't recommend going out and trying to find bisexual females just because you think they would be more open or sexually attracted to you. I think an open-minded heterosexual female may be just as equally capable of these things. A heterosexual female could be attracted to you while dressed for the taboo factor and the kink...or, she could just become totally repulsed and fear that doing all of this would mean that she is gay. I can't count on all of my fingers and toes how many women I have talked to that have thought of being with another woman, have a come apart, and then call me asking if they are bi. No, it's called a "fantasy" for a reason. These same heterosexual women could enjoy sex with a CD and find it exciting...but, I wouldn't call them bi.

It ALL depends on the person, and you just never know. There are plenty of heterosexual females out there having sex with CDs, so I don't think narrowing yourself into looking just for bisexual women is the way to go.

I say find an accepting person (if you are in the dating game) and then move from there.

[naye]

Hi, mi SO told me that when she was in high school she often dream about being with one female theacher that she had in that time, maybe she is also kind of bi-curious, dont you think?

[ReineD]

None what so ever....
Her acceptance is strictly born of love and her desire to understand and support me in whatever it is that I do.

Bingo! :) I feel the same way about my SO. I've come to see my SO as a uniquely-gendered individual. His essense, his fundamental self that transcends any gender expression (all his and her personality traits, including her need to express herself) are there all the time for me, no matter his or her choice of presentation. In other words, my SO is the same to me whether he presents as a man, she presents as a woman, or he is naked and I don't love him or her any more or less based on the clothes.


Because she is attracted to ME. Not my clothes.

Precisely. I feel the same way about my SO. The clothes have nothing to do with my level of attraction.



And who the hell said that we think we are women....they are talking about women being attracted to women visually, and when men are dressed they are producing the visual illusion of looking like a woman.

I can't speak for your SO(s), but I can say that women in general aren't as visual as men. Just because a man presents as a woman doesn't mean his SO will think he is a woman.


I am a bi female, but I don't think that has anything to do with my attraction to CDers. It's two completely different attractions if that makes sense. Being with another woman is nothing more than we are pleasing each other sexually. Being with a SO, whether a CDer or not, is about love and commitment, a bond between two people.

A female friend who is bi told me that she is flexible in her sexual preference, but ultimately she knows the difference between being with a man and being with a woman. The clothes don't magically transform one into the other, in other words being with a CDer would not make her believe he is a woman any more than being with a non-CD. She also told me that like you, she is attracted to the person more than the gender. :)


To everyone, it may well be that some bisexuals are more open than the general populace to alternate gender expression, since bis also engage in a practice that is generally seen as being taboo (same sex attraction), but I think it is false to assume that all bis or people whose sexual preferences are flexible will also be sexually drawn to gender flexibility. Witness gay men who are not into CDers, and lesbians who refuse to allow the validity of transmen. Or bis who, if they want to be with a man they will choose a man, and vice versa.

Honestly? I think it is a CD fantasy to believe that an accepting wife is or may be bi (unless she has actually been with other GGs), since this belief validates the gender expression. I'm guessing that the CDs who wish this would like to be seen as women in bed perhaps, more than a man who is dressed like a woman?

[Lorileah]

My GF was one to try anything she thought might be fun, and she admitted having a lesbian affair. She didn't find it as fun as she had hoped but she didn't hate it either. That really had nothing to do with "us" though.

[sue1965]

My ex wife is bi and according to her, her feelings toward other woman came after years of being with me. She was a very supportive of my dressing and brought it from panties, bra's and nighties to the complete wardrobe i now have, including wigs and make up. We divorced because she wanted to be with her girl friend full time and not me.

[**Sasha**]

I'm really shocked at the number of generalizations made in this post. Ever CD'r, SO and the relationship that brings them together is unique. I don't think any two members here can share to same story. I disagree with those that think they can dissect members lives over what little we know about each other!!

[Julia_in_Pa]

I'm intersexed and my SO is a GG lesbian.


Julia

[Kittyagain]

My SO has, but I don't think that's the reason she supports me. I think its primarily because its her nature to be very understanding and open minded.

That is it exactly. My wife is the same Kim.

Kitty

[Debutante]

My wife is BI, and was in two long term lesbian relationsships, but also previously maried to a male.
She stays firmly in our relationship.... but sometimes wishes for the best world of all women...

[Annaliese2010]

The gg girl im in love with is bi and her reaction to the pics i txted her wasn't extreme. after the initial shock i think it turns her on...but she has a bff gg-lover so idk if ill ever be in the mix with them..hope so. maybe who knows.

[Jennifer in CO]

as April and Donnie said, my wife is in love with me and its not because of the male or female clothes I wear. That said, one of her comments that lead to my transition back to living as a male in 85 was "she wasn't a Lesbian, and was tired of living like one". Something triggered her, but she has never said what...

Jenn