Frédérique
11-09-2011, 06:22 PM
The other day I was watching a piece on TV about a female seamstress who works for an NFL team. One of the football players, impressed by her work, blurted out “She can do anything --SHE IS THE MANWOMAN!” When asked to explain, the player (a male, of course) stated that since she (the seamstress) has the ability to definitively solve problems, something that males are apparently good at, she is like a MAN. Of course, my ears perk up whenever the words “man” and “woman” are welded together, especially when a male does it! In this case, the woman (fortunate or unfortunate – you be the judge) is elevated to the level, or status, of a man because of her ability to “solve problems.” Curious…
Recently I wrote a thing about the cultivated difference between typical boys and girls, which helps, for a time, to generate mutual aversion that is eventually overcome later in life. I never went through this when I was a boy, but I’m “different!” I found a quote that stated: “Boys get together with a clear agenda like to play ball or build something.” Problem solving – a male’s designated role in society, even though he may not care how a problem is solved, only that it IS overcome. He “gets the job done,” a real he-man phrase, or “Get’n ‘er DONE” as they say here in the Land of Nod...
I can think of a lot of ways males cause more problems than they solve, but I find this notion of problem-solving to be telling in many ways. Since I reflect on a word like “MANWOMAN” in a CD context, I’m wondering what kind of problems crossdressing males are actively trying to “solve” by dressing as women. Perhaps it is a profound, personal problem of existence, or maybe being male is, in itself, a problem worthy of conquest. I can certainly relate to that, and it is ironic that a male, with an inherent aptitude for problem-solving, also happens to BE a kind of problem. With this in mind, you can see MtF crossdressing as a solution, albeit a highly imaginative one…
Before I go any further, I wish to state that females are equally competent in the problem-solving department, but they get no recognition for it, at least from males – males have an authoritative way of doing things, and females have their own way of approaching a problem. In Understanding the Difference between Men and Women by Michael G. Conner, the author states the following:
“For most women, sharing and discussing a problem presents an opportunity to explore, deepen or strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking with. Women are usually more concerned about how problems are solved than merely solving the problem itself. For women, solving a problem can profoundly impact whether they feel closer and less alone or whether they feel distant and less connected. The process of solving a problem can strengthen or weaken a relationship. Most men are less concerned and do not feel the same as women when solving a problem.
Men approach problems in a very different manner than women. For most men, solving a problem presents an opportunity to demonstrate their competence, their strength of resolve, and their commitment to a relationship. How the problem is solved is not nearly as important as solving it effectively and in the best possible manner. Men have a tendency to dominate and to assume authority in a problem solving process. They set aside their feelings provided the dominance hierarchy was agreed upon in advance and respected. They are often distracted and do not attend well to the quality of the relationship while solving problems.”
And yet here we are, men dressed as women, or boys dressed as girls, discussing problems much like females would. Many will insist we ARE women, or we become women when we dress in their clothes, so it follows we vicariously assume the same female techniques when it comes to addressing a problem. I see it on this site a lot, and it is heartening (to say the least) – males can put aside their historical dominance, dump the distraction, and learn to attend the relationship, all because he (now she) has shed one “skin” for another. Some don’t embrace this idea, indeed they may balk at the notion of being non-male. I’m talking about your typical MtF crossdresser, a person who dresses for pleasure and may not entertain anything other than the thrill it gives them, but I believe these clothes, these fetishistic objects we must wear, have magical, healing powers – they can change us for the better in many interesting ways, including being “concerned” about things in a more feminine way...
Naturally, when the differences between males and females are discussed, someone will bring up the idea of the genders being “wired” differently. Apparently the two sides of the brain are connected in different ways (M or F), which leads to this disparity in problem-solving I’m referring to. I suppose so, but I’m not a proponent of this right brain/left brain stuff – since I’m an artist, I’ve come in contact with the notion that the right side of the brain houses the creativity, and we, as artists, need to get in touch with it, especially if we can’t draw worth a fig. I have a natural aversion to “right” anything, and, back in the day, I learned how to draw because other avenues of expression had been closed off. One day I found myself, crayon in hand, staring at a blank piece of paper. There was nothing else to do, so I drew what was in my mind, namely something I urgently needed to express. It’s that simple...
In a similar vein, I came to crossdressing via the need for expression, and the relatively invisible female within had to become more visible, else I would soon perish. The problem was simple – I did not like being visibly male, nor did I like having to “be” a male 24/7. When I first wore clothes that were meant for a girl, my problems were solved in a decisive manner with utmost efficiency. I am still male, but my solution to the problem, i.e. crossdressing, has stood the test of time. Of course, there have been shaky moments where my loneliness threatened to undo all the good I had achieved, but that brought me to places like this, where the “girls” can discuss those things that are most important – since we are girls, we can solve problems like girls, too. Here's another quote:
“When women try to solve a problem, they often rely on the help of those close to them. Women will talk through their problem, discussing the situation in detail, and how they could solve it. While the solution is important, just how they solve the problem is important too. The process of discussion is also important to women, giving them the opportunity to strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking to. As a result, a woman may consider a relationship to be weakened if the person they are talking to appears to be uninterested or unhelpful.” (Margrit Bradley)
Sounds like an excellent description of where we are NOW. Not everyone will agree, but I know that subtle changes take place when we dress, even if that is not what we had in mind. I never thought of this problem-solving disparity until I encountered the MANWOMAN who gets the job done! Since I “cross-over” on a regular basis, you can call me the WOMANMAN, but there’s no need to be so assertive, is there? We’re on the “other” side now...
Do you dress to solve a problem, or does crossdressing create more problems that it solves? :thinking:
Recently I wrote a thing about the cultivated difference between typical boys and girls, which helps, for a time, to generate mutual aversion that is eventually overcome later in life. I never went through this when I was a boy, but I’m “different!” I found a quote that stated: “Boys get together with a clear agenda like to play ball or build something.” Problem solving – a male’s designated role in society, even though he may not care how a problem is solved, only that it IS overcome. He “gets the job done,” a real he-man phrase, or “Get’n ‘er DONE” as they say here in the Land of Nod...
I can think of a lot of ways males cause more problems than they solve, but I find this notion of problem-solving to be telling in many ways. Since I reflect on a word like “MANWOMAN” in a CD context, I’m wondering what kind of problems crossdressing males are actively trying to “solve” by dressing as women. Perhaps it is a profound, personal problem of existence, or maybe being male is, in itself, a problem worthy of conquest. I can certainly relate to that, and it is ironic that a male, with an inherent aptitude for problem-solving, also happens to BE a kind of problem. With this in mind, you can see MtF crossdressing as a solution, albeit a highly imaginative one…
Before I go any further, I wish to state that females are equally competent in the problem-solving department, but they get no recognition for it, at least from males – males have an authoritative way of doing things, and females have their own way of approaching a problem. In Understanding the Difference between Men and Women by Michael G. Conner, the author states the following:
“For most women, sharing and discussing a problem presents an opportunity to explore, deepen or strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking with. Women are usually more concerned about how problems are solved than merely solving the problem itself. For women, solving a problem can profoundly impact whether they feel closer and less alone or whether they feel distant and less connected. The process of solving a problem can strengthen or weaken a relationship. Most men are less concerned and do not feel the same as women when solving a problem.
Men approach problems in a very different manner than women. For most men, solving a problem presents an opportunity to demonstrate their competence, their strength of resolve, and their commitment to a relationship. How the problem is solved is not nearly as important as solving it effectively and in the best possible manner. Men have a tendency to dominate and to assume authority in a problem solving process. They set aside their feelings provided the dominance hierarchy was agreed upon in advance and respected. They are often distracted and do not attend well to the quality of the relationship while solving problems.”
And yet here we are, men dressed as women, or boys dressed as girls, discussing problems much like females would. Many will insist we ARE women, or we become women when we dress in their clothes, so it follows we vicariously assume the same female techniques when it comes to addressing a problem. I see it on this site a lot, and it is heartening (to say the least) – males can put aside their historical dominance, dump the distraction, and learn to attend the relationship, all because he (now she) has shed one “skin” for another. Some don’t embrace this idea, indeed they may balk at the notion of being non-male. I’m talking about your typical MtF crossdresser, a person who dresses for pleasure and may not entertain anything other than the thrill it gives them, but I believe these clothes, these fetishistic objects we must wear, have magical, healing powers – they can change us for the better in many interesting ways, including being “concerned” about things in a more feminine way...
Naturally, when the differences between males and females are discussed, someone will bring up the idea of the genders being “wired” differently. Apparently the two sides of the brain are connected in different ways (M or F), which leads to this disparity in problem-solving I’m referring to. I suppose so, but I’m not a proponent of this right brain/left brain stuff – since I’m an artist, I’ve come in contact with the notion that the right side of the brain houses the creativity, and we, as artists, need to get in touch with it, especially if we can’t draw worth a fig. I have a natural aversion to “right” anything, and, back in the day, I learned how to draw because other avenues of expression had been closed off. One day I found myself, crayon in hand, staring at a blank piece of paper. There was nothing else to do, so I drew what was in my mind, namely something I urgently needed to express. It’s that simple...
In a similar vein, I came to crossdressing via the need for expression, and the relatively invisible female within had to become more visible, else I would soon perish. The problem was simple – I did not like being visibly male, nor did I like having to “be” a male 24/7. When I first wore clothes that were meant for a girl, my problems were solved in a decisive manner with utmost efficiency. I am still male, but my solution to the problem, i.e. crossdressing, has stood the test of time. Of course, there have been shaky moments where my loneliness threatened to undo all the good I had achieved, but that brought me to places like this, where the “girls” can discuss those things that are most important – since we are girls, we can solve problems like girls, too. Here's another quote:
“When women try to solve a problem, they often rely on the help of those close to them. Women will talk through their problem, discussing the situation in detail, and how they could solve it. While the solution is important, just how they solve the problem is important too. The process of discussion is also important to women, giving them the opportunity to strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking to. As a result, a woman may consider a relationship to be weakened if the person they are talking to appears to be uninterested or unhelpful.” (Margrit Bradley)
Sounds like an excellent description of where we are NOW. Not everyone will agree, but I know that subtle changes take place when we dress, even if that is not what we had in mind. I never thought of this problem-solving disparity until I encountered the MANWOMAN who gets the job done! Since I “cross-over” on a regular basis, you can call me the WOMANMAN, but there’s no need to be so assertive, is there? We’re on the “other” side now...
Do you dress to solve a problem, or does crossdressing create more problems that it solves? :thinking: