"I went out enfemme and had a really horrible time!!" [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

docrobbysherry

11-10-2011, 11:51 AM

I couple of years ago, I drove to a tiny local park to take some Sherry pics. It was the middle of a week day. So, I thot I would be alone. But, dog walkers and others kept coming by. I never left the car and finally drove off. I was dressed completely as Sherry! So people would see a woman driving by.

On the way home on local side streets, a police car pulled in rite behind me. I realized then that not only was a masked guy disguised as a woman, but I had NO ID with me! They turned off after a few blocks. But, that experience scared the holy crap out of me! And, I have no desire to go out like that again!

Of course, since then I've developed a tougher skin at the SCCs and DLV. Even having to stop and pump gas dressed like a semi nude hooker in the middle of the Vegas Strip! And, instead of worrying about how I looked, felt quite relieved I didn't run out of gas!

Nikki A.

11-10-2011, 12:05 PM

Not really a bad times, but I've been out and just didn't enjoy the crowd that was at the club.

DanaR

11-10-2011, 12:58 PM

I've been trying to forget the bad times and now Karren wants to hear about them. :eek:

kimdl93

11-10-2011, 01:04 PM

So far, I can't think of a bad outing. But maybe I just have a low standard of "great".

Karren H

11-10-2011, 01:10 PM

I've been trying to forget the bad times and now Karren wants to hear about them. :eek:

Lol. I think hearing the bad events that people have survived makes you feel better about the good even the mediocre ones we have? and its something different...

Tara D. Rose

11-10-2011, 01:15 PM

Sarah Doepner

11-10-2011, 01:32 PM

Good question Karren. Yep it's happened to me. Most of the bad experiences can eventually be recast as pretty darn funny once they are in the rear-view mirror. However that's not always the case. Sometimes the experience will stay bad and you just have to learn something about yourself you probably didn't want to know.

Here is mine; I was out with a bunch of other CD's and the evening was going along swimmingly until a few of us got separated from the main group. As we looked for them we started attracting attention and since it was at a Las Vegas casino, there were young drunk males who were pointing, following and loudly asking "What the F#%* is going on with all the guys in dresses?" (Couldn't have been me, I was in a nice skirt with a sweater.) Now I don't pass, but I can pass by if I'm not in a spotlight. However I was with someone who passed even less well than me and to my great shame I split off as well to try and regain some anonymity. I found the nearest exit and went back to my room and the self lothing was terrible, I couldn't find anything right about what I had done the whole evening. The next day I had to find and apologize to the girl I'd abandoned and she was surprised that I'd even considered it an issue. She knew she didn't pass, accepted the consequences willingly and was much more gracious than I.

I learned a lot about myself that day and I'm still not proud of what I did. I allowed myself to fall into the "fight or flight" mindset, rather than find a way to deal with the problem.

Veronica Lodge

11-10-2011, 01:32 PM

During a dinner with friends at a restaurant I had my purse stolen off the back of my chair.
That was the worst.. It wouldn't have taken long for the thief to figure out it wasn't a typical ladies purse. It made my skin crawl knowing that some creep-o had all my stuff.

I had to get the super to let me into my apartment which was an unfortunate disaster in itself. The old wallet in the back pocket seemed pretty good after that.

Karren H

11-10-2011, 01:41 PM

I have had a few wonderful times enfemme, and a few horrible times.

The horrible times were usually at gay clubs when not on a drag night and I end up shunned and at times mocked.

Also at halloween a few years ago when I went to Provincetown Mass and alot of other girls were dressed far better than me and I sat on the sidelines feeling like the ugly girl out. Even though I was dressed as I felt I wanted to be.

That's why I don't like going to clubs or gay bars....

Good topic: of course if most of the experiences were awful, we wouldn't keep going out. The bad moments may be rare, but nobody goes four-for-four in the All Star Game. My all time worst experience was when a woman sicced a hotel security guard on me after she read me in the ladies room, makes me cringe everytime I think about it.

I had that happen... Hotel security guard followed me and asked "can I help you". Ahhh. NO!! Lol. Had my room key in my hand....

DanaR

11-10-2011, 01:47 PM

Lol. I think hearing the bad events that people have survived makes you feel better about the good even the mediocre ones we have? and its something different...
You're right, and it adds to the saying "we're all part of the entertainment". :D

Karren H

11-10-2011, 02:13 PM

I couple of years ago, I drove to a tiny local park to take some Sherry pics. It was the middle of a week day. So, I thot I would be alone. But, dog walkers and others kept coming by. I never left the car and finally drove off. I was dressed completely as Sherry! So people would see a woman driving by.

On the way home on local side streets, a police car pulled in rite behind me. I realized then that not only was a masked guy disguised as a woman, but I had NO ID with me! They turned off after a few blocks. But, that experience scared the holy crap out of me! And, I have no desire to go out like that again!
!

Yeah.... Don't think the police would understand the mask...

SometimesDiana

11-10-2011, 03:04 PM

I haven't had any terrible situations but I do get a lot of pesky stalkers at bars or clubs. That's why I never go out alone. When I'm uncomfortable with someone, I'll politely excuse myself, grab my girlfriend and walk to the other side of the establishment. That works fine almost every time... recently, my girlfriend knocked a tall man to the ground when he made an inappropriate advance on me.

Melinda

11-10-2011, 03:09 PM

Last summer I received some free tickets to a baseball game. My spouse was out of town so I posted an invite in the local CD/TG Meetup group to see if anyone wanted to dress up and join me for the game. I didn't get a single taker. That was a bummer but I decided to power on ahead, got all dressed up and headed down to the game. A 30 min drive later I realized I left the tickets at home. After another 30 min back home I grabbed the envelope with the tickets and drove back to the stadium. Of course it was now the 4th inning. Upon arrival I realized I had the wrong envelope, still no tickets! At that point I gave up and just grabbed some dinner. If I had a blonde wig it might have been understandable...

DonnaT

11-10-2011, 03:20 PM

On my 50th birthday, June 2005, we were in Vegas, and my wife OKed going to La Cage Aux Folles enfemme, as a present. A big step for my wife, as she'd only been out with me once before, to a transgender holiday party.

While getting ready, my wife decided she couldn't watch me apply my makeup, and said she'd wait in the car. We were staying at Mandalay Bay. So I had to walk from the hotel, through the casino, and through a shopping plaza to the garage, alone.

In the elevator, some clowns get on and one trying to be funny tries to climb the wall in one corner, after noticing me already on, and trying to get away. I just ignored the group.

Walking to the car, my right ankle started to hurt. It was already weak from a bad sprain the year before, and the heels didn't help. That ankle still gives me trouble even more so since my stroke in 2007. By the time I got to the garage, I forgot which level the car was on, and had to search for it.

My wife was upset because I was taking so long. She got even more upset when saw I was wearing new fem glasses.

Walking from the parking lot at the hotel where the show was, my ankle got worse, and I was limping in quite bad pain. My wife became even more upset, loudly, thinking we'd be late. I ended up taking the heels off to get to the show.

She wouldn't even sit with me at the show.

Headed out after the show, we had planned on stopping at the Hard Rock for dinner, but my daughter called and said she was in town to surprise me. We then had to go back to the hotel instead, so I could change and get to her hotel for dinner.

Kathi Lake

11-10-2011, 03:25 PM

Oops! Silly me! You mean I forgot to post the time where I was chased out of Dillard's by overweight, pitchfork-carrying, mouth-breathing villagers? And then I was accosted by random street-punks who mercilessly taunted me? Hmm. Wow. How could I forget to post that?

Oh yeah - because it didn't happen. :)

Now to be sure, I do tend to forget or even gloss over the not-so-good reactions that I get. Not every interaction I have with people is positive, uplifting, and world-changing. I have had one flat tire, one speeding ticket (note to self: do NOT go shopping on the way to the airport!), plenty of pointing fingers, a few instances of "Holy ****! Look at that!" but for the most part, my experiences have been good. How much of that is due to my attitude vs. how much I really miss by not caring I don't know. To me, any experience is a good one. On the great trips, I learn new things, have a lot of fun, and get pretty stuff. On the bad trips, I just learn new things and have a lot of fun.

:)

Kathi

Lorileah

11-10-2011, 03:32 PM

There was this one time, I was sitting at the club, everyone seemed to be having a good time all I could think was I need to clean the gutters. I mean really, if it snowed? I just couldn't get my mind out of the gutters

Jilmac

11-10-2011, 03:45 PM

Karren, You're such a scamp (or is it scampette) for even suggesting we 'fess up to bad experiences. But truth be told, I've had so many bad experiences, en femme and en drab, that I could write a book. They say everybody has a guardian angel, well not quite. Mine is a guardian devil and his name is Murphy. That's right, the same Murphy who enacted Murphy's law, and he makes sure that when I have a bad day, it's a doozy. But I get even with Murphy because I have a back up plan for anything that can go wrong, a sucker punch to the groin.

All I'll say about my bad experiences is, walk a mile in my pumps and you'll end up with bunions.

Karren H

11-10-2011, 04:04 PM

Well, about last August, I spent several hours getting ready, I was going to take a ride right about sunset, to ride to the to a local shopping center and just walk outside just to feel free, you know, the baby steps. My wife went outside to see if the coast was clear for me and it was. She said be safe. I got about 6 miles from home, it was full night time and all of a sudden, the biggest thunder storm rolled in. I could hardly see to drive. 20 minutes go by, and I just sort of aborted the mission. I felt downright depressed. I had to wait in the driveway when I got home for the storm to subside. It was a real bummer.
L&R.Tara

Mother nature doesn't have a sense of humor? Lol.

Here is mine; I was out with a bunch of other CD's and the evening was going along swimmingly until a few of us got separated from the main group. As we looked for them we started attracting attention and since it was at a Las Vegas casino, there were young drunk males who were pointing, following and loudly asking "What the F#%* is going on with all the guys in dresses?" (Couldn't have been me, I was in a nice skirt with a sweater.) Now I don't pass, but I can pass by if I'm not in a spotlight. However I was with someone who passed even less well than me and to my great shame I split off as well to try and regain some anonymity. I found the nearest exit and went back to my room and the self lothing was terrible, I couldn't find anything right about what I had done the whole evening. The next day I had to find and apologize to the girl I'd abandoned and she was surprised that I'd even considered it an issue. She knew she didn't pass, accepted the consequences willingly and was much more gracious than I.

I learned a lot about myself that day and I'm still not proud of what I did. I allowed myself to fall into the "fight or flight" mindset, rather than find a way to deal with the problem.

Have an online cd friend who lived in London... Met up with a gang of thugs one night. She woke up unconscious in the hospital with a broken tooth, no purse, no money, and one shoe and after being discharged had to walk home bare footed in a torn dress during the day... So sometime we have to pick our fights carefully.

kristinacd55

11-10-2011, 04:24 PM

Well, on Sunday we had a GREAT outing!! Of course, before the other girls arrived at the mall to meet my friend Jenn and I we really had to pee. We didn't want to go in the mall so we did what 2 big strappin guy's would do (NOT big or strappin btw). We relieved ourselves behind a dumpster! So after we finished our duties, we're getting back in the car and around the corner comes the security guard in an suv watching us. Whew.....just in the nick of time did we escape and our friends showed up shortly thereafter. So almost an interesting "arresting" time.

Paula_56

11-10-2011, 04:30 PM

I went to an Outback the on of my first times out, actually the first time dinniig, and the hostess read me right off and kept making snide comments, now it wouldn't botherme much, Id' just move on but then it hurt

kendra_gurl

11-10-2011, 04:48 PM

I remember this one time At Band Camp...... no wait it was at one of the local casinos my wife and I enjoy donating too.

I was playing one of my favorite slots as usual enfemme having no problems with anyone at all. There was a rather large black woman 3 machines down from me who was talking to another black woman a few machines on down from her. After about 20 minutes I noticed she was gone so I moved to start playing that machine as it was also one I enjoy playing

About 5 minutes later she comes up to me and says I was playing that machine and my sister was holding it for me. I politely told her in my best soft fem voice there is no one around here and there was no money left in the machine so I started playing it.

Well yes there was money in that machine and my sister was saving it for me while I went to get a drink and you can't take my machine like that and........I interupted her with my normal loud male voice and said Ma'am this machine was empty when I sat down but if its so important to you to play it I'll cash out and move. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open as she gasped then said no no no I guess I can't whip no MAN and turned and left in a hurry.

I sat there a few moments to collect my thoughts and think about what to do if she was running off to get security or someone else. I've had conversations with security and casino staff before (they are always very polite) and thought to myself I'm not doing anything wrong so screw her. After what had to be only 4 or 5 minutes from when she first approached me I hit the repeat bet button on the machine and won $96 on a 60 cent bet.

I cashed out my ticket, found my wife and told her all about it as we both had a good laugh.

Closettran

11-10-2011, 04:53 PM

One time when I was in my twenties, my wife was away and I decided to dress in her clothes and go for a walk at night. She was more petite then (pre kids) and her clothes fitted me OK. I remember I borrowed a rather nice black corduroy skirt with a little split in the back, which I teamed with some lovely pale mauve stockings (sigh).

Anyways, I had borrowed a her black strappy sandals and just decided to stroll up and down the street for a while. All was going well when I slipped, turned over my ankle and the strain on the shoe ripped one of the straps away from the sole. Disaster! I limped back and began to think about what on earth I could say.

The best I could come up with the next morning after a sleepless night was that somehow I'd trodden on the shoes lying around the house and had torn the strap. A raised eyebrow told me she wasn't completely convinced, but nothing more was said.

J xx

Claire Cook

11-10-2011, 05:00 PM

Like the bumper sticker says: "The worst day golfing (fishing, whatever) beats the best day working" ... maybe we should replace the first one with dressing?

When I have a bad one (like yesterday, when I flew en femme and it wasn't a super KimberlyTX day....), I chalk it up to experience ... and then can't wait to go out again.

Lori B

11-10-2011, 05:09 PM

Sheren Kelly

11-10-2011, 05:26 PM

I was back in San Diego to meet with married friends for lunch; he was closeted at the time, she was very accepting (gotta love Librarians! the most open minded people I know). I made my way to the restaurant and when I entered the lobby, found myself face-to-face with a woman coming out of the ladies room. She clocked me and began laughing out loud (uncontrollably). It completely blew my confidence and ruined a perfectly good lunch. No one else atthe place seemed to notice me (or care) however.

SherriePall

11-10-2011, 06:50 PM

I haven't had any bad days out en femme per se. I have had some that were a little disappointing. Maybe my favorite SA wasn't working that day or I just couldn't find a dress that wanted me to take it home. Or, as on this year's day after Halloween excursion, I pulled up to a cosmetics store and waited 15 minutes past its opening time and it still wasn't open.
But we take these in stride because we have those days when an SA makes us feel like one of the girls or we get that one compliment we really need to hear.
I second Claire's feelings: A bad day dressing is better than a good day doing anything en drab.

Nancy (PA)

11-10-2011, 06:58 PM

On halloween I decided this was the day that I was going to "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead", and went to a local mall completely enfemme, w/o any makeup at all. I was searching for the MAC store to get a makeover, but my right ankle gave out (in my four-inch boots), and I went flying. A few guys rushed up to me and started asking "are you alright, ma'm, etc.", until they realized I was a guy. They disappeared like I had the plague, and I had to get myself up off the floor. But I did get the makeover, and then spent another hour in the mall shopping.

StevieTV

11-10-2011, 07:27 PM

It's happened to me...I was frequenting my favourite thrift boutique and found nothing!!! Totally horrific experience!!!

Vanessa Storrs

11-10-2011, 07:46 PM

Some times out en femme have been better than others but every time has been better than if I had been in drab.

Eryn

11-10-2011, 07:49 PM

Having a good time isn't all that difficult. If we go out and do whatever my wife and I wanted to do it's a win!

My worst experience so being 15 miles from home and realizing that I had forgotten my bra and forms! :eek: :o

Being Paige

11-10-2011, 08:01 PM

years ago while out doing the bar scene I had my vehicle towed. I had to get a cab and go and retrieve it from the impound! Another time I was out walking and was picked up by the police and taken back to my apartment, I was around 20 at the time. When I was even younger I was caught by my father, that didn't go so well! Oh and there was the time I was chased by a dog (German shepard) thought I was going to get eaten alive, luckily I was able to run fast enough in my heels to get out of reach when he got to the end of his chain that he was on!! Wow I must have used up the bad experiences whille I was younger because my outings have been going really well touch wood LOL.

Barbra P

11-10-2011, 08:17 PM

Well last Monday I had a scheduled session with my Therapist and she asked that I come dressed en femme. I walked into a crowed medical center past a number of people sitting on benches and past a waiting room and pharmacy both with glass walls open to the lobby. I noticed a few looks but nothing alarming. I got to the elevator and thought I was going to ride up to the third floor alone, but as the door was closing a hand stopped the door and a father and son got on the elevator, than a woman going to the second floor. On the ride up I was the constant object of the boys stare. I checked in and preceded to the patient waiting are only to find the boy and his father, and a mother and son, Young children are hard to fool and I found myself being stared at by these two children. It was a full ten minutes before my Therapist was ready to see me and thankfully they called for Barbra rather than my male name. Apparently Mondays mornings are big for children and both my December and January sessions are also scheduled on Monday mornings so I guess I will face the gauntlet at least two more times. Can’t say it was terrible because I spent very enjoyable fifty-five minutes with my Therapist en femme, and she treated me like the woman I needed to feel like. All my other outings have gone well and I have enjoyed my time out en femme, I do wish I could get out more often – I really like being out en femme and feeling like the woman I was really meant to be; if only circumstances were different and I could become the woman I really want to be.

skirtsuit

11-10-2011, 08:31 PM

All my bad outings were caused by Karen herself! A Pox on Thee!!

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Actually, my worst times out were before I really started going fully out & about. I started by going to the Monday Night Tgirl evenings at a local gay bar. At first it was fun, but then one day I felt unwelcome and shunned, don't know why. Stopped going shortly thereafter and never looked back. I'm not sure that they really like us fetish hetero CDs there, the evenings seemed dominated by a clique of TGs in various stages. Not my cup o'tea anyway. Going out in public during the day is much, much more fun anyway.

Best,
SS

Alice Torn

11-10-2011, 08:44 PM

Great thread Karren!!! I had a nervous second time out, in 2005, when a small town cop pulled me over, for erratic driving, and also for walking around the town at night, after downtown businesses closed. The other time was in Montana, when i locked myself out of my third floor morel room. They were not awful experiences, and a bit exciting, as i see later, but at the time CRISES! I really feel for those who have been attacked, and robbed, and beaten. That is aways an awful possibility. I don't really want to go to bars, either.

Ruby John

11-10-2011, 08:54 PM

A long time ago [20 years] I was going to CD group meeting in a restaurant on the west side of Chicago where the dark parking lot was in back. As I drove into the lot I came up on 4 guys in gang jackets and one stood in front of my car so I had to slow down and another walked to my drivers side window. I kept the car moving very slowly forward and the guy in front was still trying to block me, finally he moved slowly to the side to avoid being hit but I think I ran over his foot with my front tire. He hit my side window with his fist as I went by. Then I had to go down a narrow alley to get away. It was like something out of a nightmare. Thank god there was nobody blocking it and I was able to get away. Made the hour trip back home for an early frighting night. A week later I was out again and had a great time. Can't keep this girl down! Ruby

Rachel Morley

11-10-2011, 09:14 PM

Almost all of my outings have been enjoyable and no one seems to notice me, or if they do, they never make me feel like I'm being treated any differently then if I were a woman and I put that down to the fact that I almost always go out with my wife as "girlfriends". My only bad time (if you can even call it that) was about 2 years ago. It was when our TG support group the River City Gems (http://www.rivercitygems.org/) decided to spend the weekend in San Francisco. We had been going out in small and larger groups all over the city the whole weekend, you know ... sight seeing, shopping, going to dinner, clubs etc without any issues or people even caring or even seemingly noticing us (or that's to say that's how it felt).

On the Sunday morning, a group of 11 of us decided to all go out together for breakfast at iHop. We were all in the parking lot just about to enter the building and 3 young guys came out and took one look at us and one one of them shouted "Damm! is there a volleyball team in town!" and then him and his buddies broke into hysterical laughter ... I didn't really get the volleyball reference but I guess we were all the butt of his own joke and some of our group are tall. So, yeah .. I guess it's true, going out in a big(ish) group of CDers wil get you read a thousand times faster than if you go out in smaller groups or pairings. Oh well .. whatever! I felt kinda exposed a little at the time ... but no one died! LOL

docrobbysherry

11-10-2011, 09:22 PM

It's happened to me...I was frequenting my favourite thrift boutique and found nothing!!! Totally horrific experience!!!

That RARELY happens to me, Stevie. But, when it has, I considered it a GOOD THING!

StephanieT

11-10-2011, 10:17 PM

You mean like the time my car broke down. I was scared to death that I was going to have to call a tow truck to get me home. I finally fixed it but my nails were ruined, my hands were greasy and it was a totally bad time. I was ready to go to Walmart across the street for a bailout. Made me think I need a bailout kit in the car.

sanderlay

11-10-2011, 10:23 PM

Anyone else notice the number of "I went out enfemme and had a great time" posts lately? Well I have and maybe its just me but all this happiness is frankly kind of annoying! Lol. I know that not all trips out are uber wonderful and probably everyone likes to post the good ones because they are well... Fun... But let's get a dose of reality and talk about the ones where we didn't have fun... The ones where everything went drastically wrong.... The ones that sucked so bad that you would have rather been bowling with the guys instead of going out enfemme?

Come on!! Fess up!

Perhaps... we just want to encourage each other with success so the fearful :hiding: can conquer their unrealistic fears. But I can see how so much positive vibe can seem like so much pink fog :flyingpig: and not a realistic view of life outside. So...

... not everything goes right as Murphy's law states... "What can go wrong will go wrong." ... which always seems to prevail in my life. But how do I face this Troll :devil: named Murphy who tries to give me a bad time? By being prepared as much as humanly possible. :yippee: And second... don't panic. Don't assume because you decide to wear a skirt that the world has a contract on your life. :uzi:

Are you really having a horrible time... are you in a bad mood... or are you letting your fears control you? :nailbiting: Take a moment to let those irrational fears subside and put your best foot forward and dance. :danceman: Be yourself... no mater what you're wearing... and foil Murphy's plan by smiling. :D

:2c:

PS: My adventure... If anything can go wrong, it will... (open to all) (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?161895-If-anything-can-go-wrong-it-will...-(open-to-all)&p=2627012&viewfull=1#post2627012)

PretzelGirl

11-10-2011, 10:54 PM

Well, there was the time I was with members of my local group having coffee and two friends who I wasn't out to showed up at the front door. Nevermind. They came over and hugged me.

But then there was the time I came within 5 feet of one of my program managers at JC Penney. Nevermind. She never noticed me and kept walking by.

Then there was the time I went to a comedy club and a guy I work with turned out to be the emcee. Nevermind. He never gave me a second glance, but he was a bit funny. Interesting thing. Today he was saying I had to catch his show some day. I said I had and made a specific reference to that show. He goes "Oh yea, I remember". Yea, right.

Oh, here it is. I went shopping once and didn't have money to spend. What a bummer.

matrioshka

11-10-2011, 10:58 PM

Denny's...

1AM, me and three other friends, one of whom is a drag queen. It went well-at first. We ordered, a few moments passed, and I noticed the snickering. Whatever, eff 'em if they can't take a joke. And then I heard it:

"I bet she has a bigger d--k than I do."

Said comment coming from a weedy little Adam Sandler lookalike seated a couple of tables down. To tell you the truth, I was more amused than anything else. That was when we decided to take pictures. Of each other, the server, etc. After a while they left. Then one of them knocked on the window, and we looked out to see the young man in question displaying his meager wares for our perusal. Oh joy :-(

Kat

Sophie86

11-10-2011, 10:59 PM

Yeah, okay. I had one of these recently, and I didn't post about it here because I felt like I was being a crybaby. I had been invited to meet up with some other girls at a local club that I go to occasionally. I got there early--like I do--and texted to find out when the others were going to be there. Turned out they had gone to another club first and wouldn't be leaving for a while. It had been posted on Facebook, but I didn't get the memo. So there I sat, alone, and feeling very conspicuous. I finally decided I couldn't sit there by myself for an hour, waiting on other people to get there, and I don't mingle well, so I just went home. I got a text just as I was walking through the door 45min later that they had arrived at the club. Complete and total bust. :(

I confess it's made me reluctant to go back out. I feel like more of an outsider than ever. :(

Marissa333

11-10-2011, 11:11 PM

I actually high jacked someone else's thread with this story, but I couldn't find it.

My first time out, I went to Queen Mary's in Hollywood. I am about an hour drive away, and get there around 9 or so. I was sitting by the bar and this guy starts hitting on me (I'm strait). Now I would have been flattered, but he was really creepy and saying things like "are those stockings or pantyhose? What color panties are you wearing? Pull your dress up higher so I can see your thighs". I got really skeeved out and ended up leaving after being there for only like 30 minutes. Really sucked, and I realized how sucky it is for gg's sometimes.

Samantha B L

11-10-2011, 11:20 PM

It's not the worst thing that could happen and I'm sure there are far more risky and dangerous bad time out enfemme stories to be told,but I used to roam all over the area where I lived with my bleached and streaked blonde hair done up in topknots and updos and bouffaints. Not to brag but it was B-52's and much to my Mom's disgust I was doin' it with my own hair. I used rollers,aqua net,etc. I usually wore stuff like very satiny tops and women's seventies polyester slacks. I was trying but I hadn't mastered makeup yet for another couple of years.

My brother and I went to a movie in one of those shopping center "theatres in the parking lot". I can't remember what movie it was but I had thought it seemed like the sort of title which would attract married suburbanite yuppies or college types. Which I guess it was sorta but it was a weekend evening and there were scatterings of boozed up long haired rednecks in there and they seemed cool enough but one guy wouldn't move over when I said excuse me out in the lobby and my appearance seemed to be getting laughs,snickers,hard stares and loudmouth insults from 3 guys a few aisles behind us. Look,I didn't take it in personal vanity! It was the unpredictability of the situation that kinda scared me.

I've always had the impression that my brother,rest his soul,didn't care if he got into fights(even as an adult). I was in a lot of "on the way home from school" and "out behind the bleachers" minor skirmishes when I was in grade school and junior high. NO this doesn't mean I'm "violent" either. but through it all I was never a very good fist fighter and 9 times out of ten I got my ass kicked I'll admit. My concern was the three idiots had had so much beer it could possibly be a real mess for me and my brother. They might not even know their own strength. And I thought if the local cops are around and intercede on our behalf,how are they gonna react to the way I'm dressed? This was about 1977 or 1978 and the idea that LGBT stuff ain't a sign that you're diabolically perverted was still relatively new.

Fortunately,in an effort to save money on their electric bill just as the movie ended,the theatre dimmed the lobby and parking lot lights way down and these characters couldn't keep a bead on us or see where we were parked so as to follow us in their vehicle as we drove away and be a nuicanse and a problem. I'll admit,it's not the worst of bad CD outing stories but jeez I was getting scared and fortunately we finally lucked out.

Eryn

11-11-2011, 12:36 AM

I guess it's true, going out in a big(ish) group of CDers wil get you read a thousand times faster than if you go out in smaller groups or pairings. Oh well .. whatever! I felt kinda exposed a little at the time ... but no one died! LOL

Oh yes! One tall girl might get a second look and then be ignored. A half-dozen tall girls will get some serious scrutiny! OTOH, who's going to seriously mess with a dozen 6'5"+ women? If all of you had turned and started walking toward that trio they would have made themselves scarce before you could read this sentence! :)

Persephone

11-11-2011, 01:10 AM

But let's get a dose of reality and talk about the ones where we didn't have fun... The ones where everything went drastically wrong.... The ones that sucked so bad that you would have rather been bowling with the guys instead of going out enfemme?

I haven't been able to go bowling in 15 years, it simply isn't possible with long manicured acrylic nails, but we have to give up something now and then.

As to bad experiences, well, there was the one time my jeans were too tight . . .

I guess it's true, going out in a big(ish) group of CDers wil get you read a thousand times faster than if you go out in smaller groups or pairings. Oh well .. whatever! I felt kinda exposed a little at the time ... but no one died! LOL
Oh yes! One tall girl might get a second look and then be ignored. A half-dozen tall girls will get some serious scrutiny!

Don't know about tall, but I do have a formula for CDs that I developed, refined and tested over the past 25 years. The likelihood of a group of CDs getting read is 2 to the power of n where n is the number of CDs in the group.

So two CDs are four times as likely to be read, three are nine times as likely, four are sixteen times as likely, etc.

Hugs,
Persephone.

AllieSF

11-11-2011, 03:32 AM

OK, I'll play. My worst moments were being pulled over by the police twice for DUI checks, which I passed. The first one was the worst because they gave me the full 45 question and answer and balance tests. I was not at all worried to be stopped en femme. I was worried about that possible DUI conviction and all the money and inconveniences that it could cause. Otherwise, in 5 years of going out a lot, I have only fond memories and fantastic times to share with others.

ReineD

11-11-2011, 04:01 AM

Jonianne

11-11-2011, 04:24 AM

I don't pass, except as a crossdresser, but most people will smile and give me a pass. One time, however, as I was walking from a hotel Angel and I were staying to a McDonalds, some guy, with his gf, read me and just started laughing at me beligerently and in total derision. I just ignored him and kept walking.

I tried to not let it bother me, but because it was the first time in the 8 years I had gone out, that someone was that nasty to me, it really had me down for a long time.

Noortje

11-11-2011, 04:56 AM

The few times that I ventured outside in daylight, I got stared at by a lot of people. I thought I was quite passable, or at least passable enough to not actively attract attention. So I ended up panicking and all but running back into the house. It is still a sort of dream of mine to go outside dressed, and do some shopping or have a cappucino somewhere, but it does not feel like I will ever have the courage to do that.

I guess the best response to the stares is the "water off a duck's back" thing, but I'm more like a sponge.

Man, I still get a queasy stomach when I think about that one lady whose mouth was literally hanging open like a cartoon character's. On the other hand, that image also makes me laugh. I have this feeling I was not the most ridiculous one in that exchange.

thechic

11-11-2011, 05:47 AM

Went to a wedding as myself me and my family,had a great day and night everybody was great.
comes to the next day we had a dinner with a large amount of the guests,was treated if i had the plague the only people that spoke to us was the groom and bride,it seemed they had found out i was a guy ,now ive heard that one of the guests is now in prison for drug trafficking.such is life.

Noortje

11-11-2011, 06:32 AM

Julogden

11-11-2011, 08:56 AM

I went out at night a lot back in the period from the late 1980's through 2000, and along with mostly great times, I've had some less-than-great ones too. One of the most annoying evenings was one where I was going out with a few other CD friends and one of their boyfriends. I wasn't feeling like going out to begin with, but got talked into it, then I got elected to be the driver for the evening and when we got to the neighborhood on the north side of Chicago where the clubs were, we could not find parking to save our lives. After driving around for half an hour, the others started getting testy with me (a couple were a bit drunk to begin with, not a good start, as I'm not very tolerant of drunks), so I dumped them all off at the club we were wanting to go to and told them to get a taxi when they're ready to go home! They were a bit taken aback at that, but all apologized the next day.

To make it worse, I was apparently read by a guy in another car on the way home. He would pull up next to me at stoplights and signal for me to roll my window down to talk, and kept following for quite a distance. I didn't want him following me back to my apartment, so I pulled into the parking lot of a police station, and he finally left. I certainly wasn't about to go into the police station, as Chicago cops were not very fond of us back then, but apparently he didn't know that.

That's just one less-than-fun evening that I've had. If you go out a lot, there will be some times that are better off forgotten. ;)

Then there was the time that I thought I was going to drag night at a popular club in Chicago (Berlin) with a non-CD friend and a GG friend of his, and it turned out to be country two-step night. Turned out to be not too bad an evening actually, but not exactly what I had in mind.

Carol

Cynthia Anne

11-11-2011, 09:14 AM

A few years ago I got stuck in deep snow! I was wearing a dress and heels! I had to leave my truck and walk! After walking three blocks in pure hell a policeman came along and gave me a ride home! 'Embarassing to say the least!:o

Amy Hepker

11-11-2011, 11:07 AM

I only had 2 bad times and one was when I went to the Mall and the kids were out of school that day, well a group (Girls and Boy Teenagers) spotted me and although they did not say anything to me they were all staring and talking about me and laughing. I just held my head up high ignored them and went for the door. Luckily they did not follow. The other time I was helping a friend out with a sale she was having along a busy street when an Air Show was going on and there was one Pickup with an idiot in back that had to be rather voicterous about me. I just ignored him and my friend told me not to worry about it, later that same day the truck came back by again and the mouth went off again. But really that was the only time and I was 27/7 Amy for a year and a half and I went everywhere as Amy, (except bars)

AndreaS

11-11-2011, 11:22 AM

Had tons of great experiences, but did have one unfortunate experience that kind of frazzled me at the time.

Was driving through a parking lot while completely enfemme and had someone back out of a space into my car as I was driving down an aisle. It was a young girl who first called me "m'am" and apologized for running into me. After a few minutes she read me and was getting uncomfortable being around me. The police showed up to fill out the police report and the officer told me that he usually saw the CDs and TVs in another part of town and not this part of town. Other than that one comment, he was very professional, but the whole experience still had me frazzled for a while after that.

Didn't stop me from getting right back out there a few months later and start shopping again enfemme.

EllieOPKS

11-11-2011, 11:55 AM

Here is my nightmare again. Thank god I can laugh at myself.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?151817-Time-for-Something-Funny&highlight=

Annie M

11-11-2011, 12:03 PM

I had purchased a pair of red high heels (from a second had clothing shore, they were size 11!) not real high only about 2+ inches. Excited to try them I stopped at a park near home just after dark for a quick test drive. I was not dressed in-fem at the time. To my shock and horror I came upon a couple walking the other way... they were neighbors.... DRY MOUTH HOT FLASH and DIZZY I froze. They said Hello how are you etc. she looked down and said lovely shoes, sorta laughed (men don't notice shoes). I said "Thanks...Halloween costume practice", mmm...well have fun The husband never said a thing. One of my favorite pair of shoes now we've been through a lot together.

BillieJoEllen

11-11-2011, 02:43 PM

Years ago I was looking pretty good one night and decided to do some shopping. It was winter time. While shopping at a Gimbel's department store I slipped on some snow someone had dragged in. Twisted my ankle and loosened the heel of my boot. As I was going down I let out a few choice cuss words in my finest male voice. A lot of people stared (no one offered help) and I clumsily got up and made a bee line for the door.
Another time walking down a busy street I snagged my wig on some low branches of a tree and let a few words then also. Wasn't so easy to escape that night. Some young people followed me to my car but I did manage to get out of there.

Debb

11-11-2011, 03:43 PM

A few years ago, I was dressed and walking through a local mall. While I was window-shopping, an older man "read" me, and began shouting "That lady is a man!!!" over and over, like an alarm or something.

Up until then, I had entertained delusions of passing.

It was awful at the time, but I learned a lesson: if you can't take that sort of behavior, stay away.. it's made a difference in my life, helping me to determine that despite looking like a man in a woman's clothing, I'm gonna go out and live my life.

Debb

11-11-2011, 03:47 PM

...

It has got to be difficult for CDers just starting out and my heart goes out to all of you, but to the newbies, please know that the good times far outweigh the bad, especially as you develop self-confidence and realize that you have just as much right to walk this earth as anyone else. :hugs:

Quoted for truth! The bad times are SO outweighed by the good.

Eryn

11-11-2011, 03:47 PM

I don't think I've ever read so many heart breaking stories all in one place. :sad:

Reading this thread, I am once again reminded how terrifying it is to begin to go out and how much courage and grace it takes to put your best faces forward and continue to go out despite the potential adversity. I don't know if I'd have your courage.

My SO doesn't talk much about her very beginnings. I hate to think she might have been hurt like this. We've had a few small incidents while out together, mostly being "sirred" or stared at. The worst was last month when a teenager yelled an insult from a passing car and this was the only time in four years something like this had happened. And she/we go out a lot. I didn't feel mortified. I felt angry and I would have given that kid a good tongue lashing if I had had the chance.

I've said before that our SOs are like mother tigers protecting their cubs! I know that Mimi worries about my feelings being hurt when out and about. My mind is mostly occupied with the joy of being out and about and doesn't have much room left for worry. Mimi, OTOH, isn't experiencing that joy and has plenty of opportunity to worry.

I've had a few quizzical looks followed by excited whispering but no overt hostility or verbal attacks. If I did I'd just keep on doing what I was doing as that is the only reasonable alternative. There is no "Plan B!"

What Persephone said about the likelihood of being made is proportional to the square of the number of CDers present is absolutely true. When I'm out with a group it's pretty much assumed that observers can pretty quickly figure out what is going on so we don't worry about it and just enjoy each other's company. If we provide some entertainment for those around us so be it!

As others have said, the fun of being out and about far overshadows any possible negative consequences.

Eryn

Michelia

11-11-2011, 08:11 PM

Gee Karren, I can not think of any bad times dressed...never been accosted or humiliated or treated poorly...on the contrary.

Ok maybe...

About six months ago my boyfriend left me after some stupid drunken tourists taunted us downtown. I never felt threatened. I think they were harmless. But my boyfriend was pissed off. I tried to control him from getting too upset. I guess the incident was not the issue. I still do not know why he left me. Maybe he felt it was too much trouble or too much danger to go out with me. Maybe he just did not like the fact I was too cool and was telling him it was nothing and ot just chill. I am over it now. But it did hurt. It was awesome while it all lasted. We went everywhere together ...(sigh)

I do not pass so being read never constitutes an issue for me.

Oh, and a few weeks ago I got my first ticket. I was crazy scared but nothing happened. I was driving the company vehicle in Central Lousiana. Got caught going 74 in a 45 speed trap. The speed limit had been 65 for a while and I did not see the speed limit sign. This village was not crossed by the highway and it was all rural...no driveways or intersections or houses at all. Visions of me going to jail enfemme crossed my mind. Having to call my boss to come get his vehicle, etc. But the police officer could not have been nicer. He said "ma'am please understand I have to ask you this question and please be sure I mean no disrespect. I am not one of those people. I want to know if you are a male or a female." I told him that was kind of a personal question, but that I wanted to answer it but the answer might be kind of complicated and I was not trying to be difficult. "Well, ma'am, I need to know what to put on this ticket! I jumped having been caught off guard and could have hit myself on the side of the head for not anticipating this and said "male". Overall this experience has to be my worst ever. It cost me a whopping 400 dollars! Good thing was that I wrote the village a letter asking them for forgiveness and requesting that it not be reported to the state. They heard me. This would have been major for me because I drive other people's vehicles in my work.

I have been to many bars, straight and gay, by myself. Never had big problems but once I went in a dive I really should not have been in. I just needed a beer. But there was this idiot that was an incredible pain in the ass. He put his nasty hands on my legs and I warned him. He apologized but kept asking me to go with him. Then he starts offering me money to have sex with me. I am always nice and I have a hard time being mean. I did not want to leave as I was afraid he would follow me. Not that I was worried... I had my defenses up but I did not want to have to hurt the guy. So I stayed and he kept pestering me. I moved seats and asked him not to follow me. And then he came at me again. I did not felt threatened. He was just drunk and I could have broken his head. But he was just disgusting. I ended up buying him a drink and smiled at him and and told him I really loved his persistence and to go wait for me in the back patio and that I would be there soon to be with him in private. As soon as he walked out, I made my exit through the front door. Whew....