So what am I?

[suzy1]

Look, don’t be too hard on me for posting this. I am still not clear on one point regarding my crossdressing.
I love to crossdress. And a very real part of me is feminine. A big part!
I don’t play at dress up. A part of me is Suzy. It’s the real me.
And yet I know I will never go all the way to a sex change because I don’t want to and I don’t need to.
I love me just as I am.
So just what am I? C.D, T.G, T.S, or what.
It might be obvious to most of you and there have been a lot of posts on the subject but my eyes just start to glaze over when I read it all. I just don’t seem to grasp it.

So I would just like someone to tell me [And I don’t mind having a label hung on me as long as its pink]

Thank you girls.


SUZY

[Karren H]

If you really want a label then make up one for yourself. Don't let others put you in one...

[docrobbysherry]

If I were u, I mite call myself something like--- hmmm--maybe----no-----oh! I've GOT IT! Something like SUZY!

[Sheila11]

I want to label you "FUN".

[suzy1]

Thanks Karran, very helpful!

Fun is my middle name Sheila.

Kisses, Suzy

[Debglam]

I hear you Suzy! Karen is right that this is just labels. Labels that seem more about exclusion than inclusion at times! :sad:

This is more about gender than clothes for me also. I'm comfortable where I am right now but never try to predict the future.:straightface:

I think "transgender" or "TG/CD" covers this state pretty well.

Debby

[barbara gordon]

I think you might be like me ... a two-for -one deal !

labels are important to understand things , but a label can never tell the whole story. I think of myself as a crossdresser . It is all me , same candy but with two different wrappers.
I am happy to have two aspects to my self. ( But not easy to make it known to the outside world.)
When I was in college I read greek plays and mythology (oddessy , Illiad, sophecles -Theban plays , etc) there was a recurring character that was named "Tiresias" . Tiresias had the personality and presentation of both male And female that was interchangeable. I was always puzzeled by Tiresias and I wondered how it was written about so long ago and yet it is still so taboo of a concept.

[Johnnifer]

I understand what you're going through as I go through these at times too. Especially as I have a hard time finding an exact match for others like me. But I find that usually when I ask people what I am I usually get half the people saying "don't label youself" and half trying to pin myself down as something I am not.

I also understand the importance of labels being nerdy and wanting to pin things down to understand them. This is in part why I hate the conflict and duality within myself. I have trouble accepting an identity with amorphous aspects, but whenever I try and pin myself down I change.

I was thinking of asking a "what am I" question myself to see if their were others like me in the crossdressing community here, but haven't as I wasn't sure so soon after my intro post i should and wasn't sure i'd get an answer or a non-hostile response.

[Nikki A.]

I feel what you're saying. I think of my self the same way. If I need to label myself advanced CD with a minor in TG. I go out as Nikki but don't think I would transition.

[J'lyn GG]

I, too, have a disconnect with the transgender 'definition'. My husband crossdresses. Period. Parts of his personality are 'more feminine', but parts of my personality are 'more masculine'. That's just who we are. I don't see how crossdressing makes a person transgender. It all confuses me, to say the least. But, I also know that when my husband says he fits under the transgender umbrella, it scares the bejeebies outta me. Its, like, I can't handle the transgender label.

[kimdl93]

Its really not all that difficult. People try to parse the term "transgender" to the point that they confuse themselves. If you have male anatomy, but feel that part of you is female, and enjoy dressing, then it doesn't require deeper analysis to conclude that you are Transgendered. If you like wearing womens clothes as a means of expressing that feminine aspect of yourself, then you are a cross dresser.

Simple as that.

[suzy1]

Its really not all that difficult. People try to parse the term "transgender" to the point that they confuse themselves. If you have male anatomy, but feel that part of you is female, and enjoy dressing, then it doesn't require deeper analysis to conclude that you are Transgendered. If you like wearing womens clothes as a means of expressing that feminine aspect of yourself, then you are a cross dresser.

Simple as that.


So I am Transgendered and also a crossdresser because I am transgendered. Yes?

[kimdl93]

So I am Transgendered and also a crossdresser because I am transgendered. Yes?

Don't try to be difficult, suzy ;) I didn't say you were a cross dresser because you were TG. If you felt you were transgendered, but didn't enjoy wearing women's clothes you wouldn't be a CDr now would you?

[lucaluca]

i think we have a lot in common.
i don't want to transition. and i don't play dress up neither.
this is me and if i could i would present myself this way 24/7 and maybe i will some day.
i don't want to present myself as a woman. i just love the look, the feel.
the difficult part for me is to find words for my position. i can't label myself, because there isn't the right label. i crossdress, but i am not a crossdresser ;)
i am a man, so i am not transgendered ;) but still, there is something that is different about me compared to the "normal guy".

i would love to give myself a label. but to be honest... for me it is enough to read about people who struggle with this issue, too :)

[Anne2345]

What are you? That's easy . . . . You're perfect! :)

[suzy1]

Don't try to be difficult, suzy ;) I didn't say you were a cross dresser because you were TG. If you felt you were transgendered, but didn't enjoy wearing women's clothes you wouldn't be a CDr now would you?

Your logic is perfect Kim. Thank you.
I am almost ready to pin on my nice new pink label.

But joking aside I think I am what they call transgendered.

So if I ever get found out by someone saying “What the ***** you are wearing woman’s panties” I will now be able to say with head held high “I’m Transgendered”

SUZY

[Rianna Humble]

Suzy, why not just do what most people in this thread have done and make up your own definition for the words? :eek:

[Deanna B]

hi sexy suzy . it may not be much to your question but i think of you as a lovely and caring person. you made me welcome and happy to be here . i know we all like to know where we stand but i think it changes all the time . take care love deanna b xx

[suchacutie]

Hi again Suzy! Yes, we still seem to have the same gender ideas and mindset, but your label has to be yours. Here's mine:

Overall, I'm transgendered. That is, there are parts of me that are clearly feminine, and parts clearly masculine. I've also thought of myself as bigendered, implying that I live my life from the perspective of two gender presentations and outlooks.

It always seemed to me that the term "crossdresser" was just too general in my mind, taking into account everyone who dresses in clothes usually considered common to the "other" physical gender. Of course, I do wear clothes that are usually considered common for females, so I do fall into that category, but the label is just too general for me, to my way of thinking.

I probably muddied the waters, but I've always found mud rather interesting :)

tina

[Bree-asaurus]

I don't know why people get so freaked out about labels...

If you wear the cloths of the gender that you don't identify as, you're a crossdresser.

If you are the complete opposite gender of what your body indicated when you were born, you are transexual.

If you are either of these, or if you find yourself to be ANY ratio of male AND female or ANYTHING that doesn't fit the binary male/female gender roles that our society at this current time dictates, you are transgender.

I really don't care what anyone is and if you don't want to label yourself, don't. But I don't see what is so difficult about the labels.... transgender pretty much covers EVERYTHING lol...

[DonnaT]

A friend of mine has similar issues, and labels herself non-op TS.

[krissy_toronto]

Karen is right, you are Suzy, as I am Krissy and Bree is Bree, etc etc. We are all what we are, whatever that may be. We can't deny, control, hide it so why bother. I absolutely love the female side in me as we all do. Can we explain it? Nope, lots of us gals cannot. Should we try to understand it? Why? It is who we are and no matter what label, (Cd, tv, ts etc..) we have been given a gift as I see it and as long as we are happy no label matters.

My name is Chris and I have a lovely wife and 2 beautiful children (7 and 4) and our life is amazing. I have a career and I am a dedicated father, husband and lover. Oh I also have a female side in me and it is very strong and I let her (as my wife does) come out anytime she wants within reason. How amazing of a feeling inside is that?
Be proud, be strong of who you really are labels aside.

[AndreaCD1963]

I don't know why people get so freaked out about labels...

If you wear the cloths of the gender that you don't identify as, you're a crossdresser.

If you are the complete opposite gender of what your body indicated when you were born, you are transexual.

If you are either of these, or if you find yourself to be ANY ratio of male AND female or ANYTHING that doesn't fit the binary male/female gender roles that our society at this current time dictates, you are transgender.

I really don't care what anyone is and if you don't want to label yourself, don't. But I don't see what is so difficult about the labels.... transgender pretty much covers EVERYTHING lol...

Perfectly said. My humble understanding is that "transgender" is the overall encompassing term/label. "Crossdresser" is just one branch of the tree, as is "transexual".

As you said for you Suzy, for me Andrea is very real, and integral part of who/ what I am - regardless of my clothing & external presentation. In my mind I am a cross dresser, which by definition makes me transgendered. But it's just a label. I'm two-spirited :-). (just to be obstinate and add yet another term/ label into the mix)

[Jilmac]

I feel the same as you Suzy, I love to dress and emulate feminity but I'm also satisfied in my male body. As far as a name for who I am, I call it a "waiam", like me the WAy I AM or not at all.

[Aprilrain]

I think you are a martian, im pretty sure i saw antennae!

[reflections-of]

You are you, it is as simple as that...

Classifying ones self to fall into a specific category can become confusing. We choose or identifiers and create are own self image of who and what we are.

You stated…

I love me just as I am.

Can you just see yourself as someone who loves themselves? How does categorizing yourself into a specific classification change this? Would your self love rise if you did?

If not, then why bother putting a label on yourself? If it does, then choose the one you most identify with.

[Frédérique]

I don’t play at dress up. A part of me is Suzy. It’s the real me.
And yet I know I will never go all the way to a sex change because I don’t want to and I don’t need to. I love me just as I am. So just what am I? C.D, T.G, T.S, or what.
It might be obvious to most of you and there have been a lot of posts on the subject but my eyes just start to glaze over when I read it all. I just don’t seem to grasp it.

By your explanation (and my definition), I would say you’re transgendered, or TG. I also love ME just as I am, but I am merely a crossdresser. I don’t quality to be TG, by my definition…:straightface:

[meri]

Suzy,
You wrote: "And a very real part of me is feminine. A big part!
I don’t play at dress up. A part of me is Suzy. It’s the real me.
And yet I know I will never go all the way to a sex change because I don’t want to and I don’t need to.
I love me just as I am.
So just what am I? C.D, T.G, T.S, or what."

You answered it yourself, a very big part of you is feminine.

In my case, a very big part of me is feminine, in fact, I have taken a very deep, long look within. You might say I was dragged there kicking and screaming and "shown" the truth. The truth is my internal self, the deepest part of me is feminine. Given the culture we live in (and the male bodies you and I respectively live in), this is hard to square with what we have be taught reality is... That is, if your body is male, then you must be male, masculine and if your body is female, then you must be female, feminine.

Clearly our experience doesn't quite line up with the standard way of thinking. Thus, I have a new working concept and this is based on another idea that is largely accepted. My concept is that I am simply a spirit or "soul" or energy living in a body and oh, by the way, it happens to be a male body.

This concept has been very helpful to me to get through times when I crave to have a physical appearance that lines up more with my internal experience. I am able to step back and simply observe that this is the situation now and it's OK.

I have come to view my body as an "encounter suit", that is, a vehicle that I use to experience life here. This doesn't imply that I know "where" I came from or where "not here" is, rather, that I experience life here this way, in this skin.

Thinking this way, it makes it much easier to accept my situation as is. It also gives me strength to wear and/or decorate myself as I please without regard to what other people might be thinking.

So, a very big part of you is feminine! Congratulations for recognizing that part of yourself! Enjoy being yourself, accept yourself. Don't fight it, even if you do, you won't win. The pressure is relentless.

Definitions are terms made up by other people trying to capture "who we are" in a single soundbite. Don't be too concerned about what terms apply to you, none will fit your situation exactly. Even if you do "try on" a label, all it will do is delay your own understanding of yourself because you will subconsciously attempt to modify your behavior to fit the label. This will only delay your development.

I for one never say any of this coming, I am a late bloomer, it all started at 55, I am 59 now. I look back on my life and see signs along the way, but I largely ignored them until now. This is too big of an event in my life, and I suspect in your life, to be some sort of odd accident or error. I suspect it has been planned all along - to be revealed at the right moment.

Hope this helps!

[Cheryl T]

I'd rather have a title than a label....so why worry about it.

Ok, let's call you ... Baroness Suzy.

Now get on with your life and the important stuff and stop wasting brain power on something like a label.

[Marleena]

If you really want a label then make up one for yourself. Don't let others put you in one...

Agree, when I'm here I'm one of the ladies. I can safely compliment the other ladies, and discuss girlie things. Don't overthink it, just have fun, you're Suzy to me.:)

[Kaz]

Hi Suze!

Yeah we are in the same place you and I! It is more than a hobby, more than just 'fun' (though it is fun!)... it is part of me. But I don't want to do the surgery thing and also don't feel that I need to... though I totally support those that do!

So who are we?

Well Karren, Sherry and the others are right... labels just get in the way... we are Suzy and Kaz and Karren and Sherry and whoever... isn't that enough? But then I never did 'clubs' and 'cliques'!!! :)

[Jennifer H]

I am a crossdresser and proud of it so I think thats my label.

xxx Jenny