Coming out

[stephiny10]

Good morning ladies; I finally made the decision to come out and to transition full time, it took me awhile to get over all the fears of being ridiculed and rejected, but now that the decision is made telling everyone that's involved in my life that yes I'm a transgendered person and I'm proud that I'm going to be a lady, it seems that things are going easier, and smoother then I thought that they would go, I don't know if it's due to the great support from those that I have informed or the confidence that I feel now that I know which way I'd like my life headed, or even a combination of things. I do realize that there will be harder times, and that there are people out there that will want to hurt me, but for now I think the that I'll enjoy what I have now and take other things a day at a time. Comments? Stephiny

[arbon]

Coming out can feel good after carrying the secret for so long, for me I wanted to scream it out! but, my comment, would to be cautious and have a plan on how you are going to follow through with transition, and a back up plan even. Because once your out you are out. You can't erase it.

For me I felt I came out to quickly and bet it all on my employer being willing to let me transition at work. Nope. That was my best plan, not much of one, I did not have a back up plan or the financial means to move forward if I lost the job but I was already out to pretty much everyone at that point (low population area where I grew up - not much anonymity for me here, jobs prospects are very bleak here for a just started transition TS). I still have the job, using my male identity, but am out in the community living as a women the rest of the time - it is a messy and uncomfortable situation and to do over again I would have planned better and tried to get more financially prepared to be able to move to a bigger population area where I would not stick out so much.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

who have you informed and what are you telling them? are you in a family?
are you working? have you told them?
what steps are you taking now ? hrt? hair removal?

not alot of info in your post..

[Aprilrain]

Im happy for you, you sound excited. I would echo what Arbon said regarding caution and though you may wish to try not to tell everyone you meet. They don't care and you will wish you'd kept your mouth a little more shut down the road...probably.
Anyway there are people we DO have to tell and it feels good getting a life time of secrets off your chest. For me the biggie was my parents. Never mind that I'm 35 and a grown woman it still scared the crap out of me!

[stephiny10]

Thank-you Arbon for the advice. I know what you saying about wanting to shout it out to the world, and you are right about slowing it down some and have a back up plan, fortunately the situation that I have with my job is that when I had a meeting with my manager to tell her what I intended to do, she closed the office door and told me as long as I keep doing.
what I've been doing I don't have to worry about losing my job, then she explained policies, and together we made up a plan on how to handle my transition. I realize that ing many ways that I'm still very vunerable in many ways, but at least I know there is support.

[Debb]

I'm proud of the strides you've made, Steph. You go girl! Hope to see you at a meeting sometime.

Your friend Deb, formerly Bethany Marie.

[arbon]

That is awesome. It sounds like you are doing great and I'm happy for you that you are getting that kind of support and hope it all keeps going well for you :)

[stephiny10]

Deb, thanks for the kind words. Coming from you give them special meaning, I'm going to try hard to make the meeting tomorrow night. Kaitlyn- I've been on hrt for about 8 months now with some results, and am currently seeing someone to have my facial hair removed. I've started telling people that I work with, including all the management, I even met a couple of co-workers after work today that wanted to meet me as Stephiny, it was fun and I enjoyed talking with them as equals.I think that I've met all my doctors as Steph, I even told the group of guys that I've played hockey with for the past 10 years what l'm doing. As far as my family both of my parents have passed on and the only other members that concern me are my wife of 34 years who knows everything that I'm doing and has been very supportive, then is my only daughter and her two kids which I have not told yet but planning on doing so after the stress of the holidays are done

[Kaitlyn Michele]

That is simply wonderful. Its good to see someone just taking the steps forward.. It sounds like u could be retiring soon based on hrs married. I hope things continue to workout for u

[thechic]

That great and all the best,hope things go well,I know it was hard for me,so many ups and downs,but found its the best thing ive done in my life,it definitely a life changing action.

[Badtranny]

Congratulations Steph!

You've definitely put yourself out there. It's odd how coming out gives you a kind of power. It's like each time you speak the truth, you get stronger.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Stephiny,

I'm very proud of you. :O)

When I stated to my family that I was transitioning I lost them.

It had to be done.

Your transition will be filled with the highest of highs and sadly some gut wrenching lows.

You already know what you have to do so there's nothing left but to do it.

Plan your work and work your plan Stephiny.


Julia

[Diane Elizabeth]

Glad to hear that all is going well for you. Are your hockey friends still going to let you play with them? What about the lockerroom - how is that going to work out. I had a great time last week meeting with you and your SO. Hoping to do that again soon. Of course that will depend on my surviving my surgery next week. I won't be able to drive for a few weeks and of course no going to work til January.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Stephiny!

Way to go on coming out! You must feel like many of us a great weight lifted from you. It is most likely both the support and confidence you have, that is so great. So proud of you for finding the strength and courage to be who you know you really are inside!

Hugs and Kisses

[Teri Jean]

Stephiny, I want to say sister I am happy for you. It is a big step and you are not alone. I did the same two years ago this month and I have no regrets. If you need to talk just drop me a note and I will give you a call. I am in the cities often as well.