Living with the dinosaurs in the land that time forgot !!

[Jessicajane]

Sitting here writing this I am totally depressed with the out dated and bigoted views of what appears to be a sizable portion of the people in my workplace and locally to where I live...my fear is that this is a true representation of how many of the people of South Australia think...and whilst I am not in a position to back this statement up with cold fact...there is a definite element to the culture here that lacks any tolerance to those who are in anyway gender different.
Today at work I was talking about a lad , a past work colleague, who had taken his own life...its really sad..and the lads were discussing what a waste of a life...but concluded he was severely troubled because he was possibly gay !!?!....what do you say to people who have that attitude
yesterday I was speaking to a work colleague who described his new interstate boss as being a nice bloke...”but he’s’ gay”...like what difference does that make... when I pointed out his view was somewhat prejudice..he claimed it was not appropriate for our industry??!!
There is a transgendered person living on our estate..a really pleasant lady who still lives with her wife and children......but the neighbours are absolutely scathing about her ...
Don’t get me wrong I love living here, compared to my life in the UK, for the weather and lifestyle...but I do miss the tolerance levels I always perceived that the UK society had...
In Australia, it is the national image for blokes to be beer guzzling manly men....perish the thought of being gay ,bi , a cross dresser or transgendered...I wonder if the locals would have a burning at the stake if they knew I wore dresses!!!
I notice that many of you girls come from America, where I guess there is a set national identity of masculinity for the men folk...the question is has society started to become more tolerant...or is it just a facade?

[Noortje]

That totally sucks... I live in one of the most tolerant countries in the world, but there are still many social circles where being gay, let alone being transgendered, is a big deal. Luckily, I (currently) move in circles where homosexuality is totally accepted. Even so, I do not actively let on that I'm a crossdresser! This is not an acceptable thing to be, even here.

[Tina B.]

Here in the States it depends where you are, small town America can be very Conservative in there views, while in the larger city's there is a better level of tolerance, but then that will vary by what part of town you are in also. While America has gotten a lot better accepting gays, we are still a novelty to most, and they still don't know what to think of us. I have only seen one Trans person out and about here, in over a decade, except at the gay pride parade, then a few from the collage in the next town will show up for that, the rest of the year, I don't where they are, but they are not at the mall. We do have a group that meets down town, but it's a very hush hush thing, I found them by accident, although I have never made contact with them, (small town fear of being seen going and coming from there meetings).
Tina B.

[beachbum becky]

Hi girls Im from Pittsbugh,Pa. When I was young Pittsburgh was a shot and beer town, mill workers etc. Manly men as they say, a lot has changed in the past 10 years or so.There are openly gay on city council,and they show up for Gay Pride in the street.Never thought that would happen.Years ago I think you would be dead.I believe since the mills closed and the area has become hi tech, everything is different.Most people seem to be tolerant of our differences, I have no problem walking around in a skirt, I do it a lot.Time will change all..

[kimdl93]

Jess, I live in Texas - a state not renowned for its tolerance. But even here, I find that there are both boorish jerks and incredibly warm, friendly and accepting people. I think it all depends on the specific setting. Places where women frequent - groceries, malls, etc the behavior is better. In male dominated settings - like bars and construction sites - well, the level of intolerance goes up.

What's interesting to me is that, from what I can tell, there are many of us living and working in just these environments. And looking back on my own behavior, I know that I was just as big a jerk about gay and transgender matters once upon a time. The bigoted remarks were my crude and clumsy way of hiding, I suspect.

[Beverley Sims]

There are redneck states over here in the US.
Hawaii is great. But Middle America is similar to Tasmania and where you come from also seem very unaccepting.

[Sonya]

I just can not understand why people can be non accepting of others differences. I mean as long as no one is hurting anyone or forcing their beliefs and ideas to others, people should be free to live as they like without fear and judgement.

[jillleanne]

Hello Jessica,
I think you will find the same issues anywhere globally. Cities with large populations have always been more tolerant about anything in general than small rural areas. Politics play a role in that as well whereby certain people will target certain groups for votes, which in turn, brings that groups' 'cause' to the forefront. Here in Canada it's no different. Rural redneck towns have nothing else to do but talk about each other, a form of bond by design. Smalll populations do this as a safety net, a social form of protection looking out for each other and their property. Large cities however, couldn't give a damn about their neighbors. In large cities for example I am amazed they bother to put windows in homes. I have yet to see any windows with the curtains open. People come home, go inside, and are never seen again until they leave for work in the morning. Neighbors there would not look twice at you even if you had four heads. Society has started to become more tolerant, particularly now where troubled financial times are more noticable. Many small rural areas throughout Canada for instance, have become the new 'place to live' vs the big cities for the gay and lesbian population. Large cities have become unaffordable. This has spawned new restaurants, bakeries, clothing outlets, art studios, wineries, etc. and they have created work for the locals that would have otherwise never been created. The spinoff result of course is acceptance. The big problem I see however, goes back to the GLBT issues whereby the "GLB" have found recognition, but not the "T". We must do more on our own as we have been left to stand apart. In Canada we have succeeded in having discrimination laws enacted nationally(effectiveness???), healthcare for "T" folk (surgeries for transition), etc. so we are seeing progress, albeit slow.

[docrobbysherry]

I think there r better and worse areas, similar to individuals, where ever u go, Jessica. In SoCal where I live, it is VERY conservative! However, just 50 miles north in Hollyweird, anything goes!

Unfortunately there is a conservative element here attempting to flex their political muscles at present! They're trying to remove all forms of birth control, take away women's rites, demonize Darwin, increase intolerance of anyone who disagrees with them, and other, "let's move on into the 15th century", agenda!

I'm hoping Oz has it better there!?

[GingerLeigh]

Canada is not as tolerant as the UK when it comes to this kind of thing, eh? You'd get the same comments from my coworkers as you do yours in OZ. We're all beer swilling lumberjacks that live in Igloos, bathe annually, and eat raw polar bears. At least that's what you'd think with how they ooze bravado in my town!

Ginger

[RenneB]

I knew I moved to small town america from the south up to the great lakes when, after unpacking the boxes, I went out to greet the letter carrier. Before I could finish "Hi I'm ... " she said, "we know who you are". I was a little shocked but the press about me coming to town was quite the buz... [nothing to do with CDng - just politics] So yea, small towns anywhere are a completely different thing than larger metro areas....

Remember it takes all kinds to fill the freeways.... Just look sometime when you're driving out and about at the driver next to you in traffic (without hitting the car in front of you).....

Renne.....

[*Alexia]

Where I come from in the south, we had a big rally at our high school to try to convert the "Gays" to "Straight". It was a laugh really, because none of the "Gays" showed up, so it became an almost literal witch hunt. Got to love small town religious schools...

[Loni]

even here in California, it just depends on were you are at, and how you look.
in some of the bigger city's it can be "ok" pending were you are, and time of day, faze of the moon, and such.
but small town USA, is a forget it kind of thing..but there some small town were it is not a problem.
even a coworker who i thought had a open mind made a couple comments last week and he is very closed minded about cross dressers. in a very (lets just say harsh) way.
so it is not limited to just down under. it is all over.

.

[MichelleP]

I think I live near the epicenter for conservatism and zero diversity. A girl can't be too careful around here. That said, there are areas within my state that are downright accepting and some even seek to raise awareness. I was reading the newspaper (yeah, kinda old school) yesterday and was floored to find that some folks in the vicinity will be holding a candleight ceremony for the Transgender Day of Rememberance (November 20th). That small bit of awareness made my day:)

[Ellyn]

There must be some tolerant people in Australia. I used to work for a guy years ago who went to Australia to open up new stores. He was a homosexual, and got on quite well with those in Australia. Perhaps a little too well, because he slept around in the homosexual community in Sidney, contracted aids, and following his return home, was the first aids case in our local hospital. They were having a difficult time trying to determine what was wrong with him because they had never seen anyone dieing of aids before.

[Claire Cook]

We've had other forum members from OZ and I don't recall that they mentioned this problem. Perhaps like the US, it may depend on where you are. Would big cities (e.g. Sydney) be more tolerant areas?

[Michelle Crossfire]

I just can not understand why people can be non accepting of others differences. I mean as long as no one is hurting anyone or forcing their beliefs and ideas to others, people should be free to live as they like without fear and judgement.

I agree with that, and that philosophy applies in so many aspects of daily life.

[Pamela Kay]

What's interesting to me is that, from what I can tell, there are many of us living and working in just these environments. And looking back on my own behavior, I know that I was just as big a jerk about gay and transgender matters once upon a time. The bigoted remarks were my crude and clumsy way of hiding, I suspect.

I am guilty of this as well and for much the same reason as Kim. It wasn't really me but sometimes you go along so as not to make waves. Once it hits you between the eye's that now they are talking about you, it takes on a whole new light.

[catriona36]

i have been in towns where comming out of any closet could cause you to "go missing" even today.
sth aus still seems to be one of those places that seem stuck in the 80's in some ways.
we have a joke that adelaid closes at 5pm lol
i think melbourne would be the best city for cd.
there is a bi "dating" site that lists it stste by state stats.but not in detail.
and this is inclusive of all persons lifestyles, not just bi.
New South Wales -(27935 Members)
Victoria---------- (21286 Members)
Queensland------ (20513 Members)
Western Australia (9787 Members)
South Australia (5471 Members)
Tasmania (2058 Members)
ACT (1944 Members)
Northern Territory (833 Members)
just a small sample realy butan indication of what can be expected state by state. yes we have laws
that are inplace to stop certain behaviour in the work place. but you cant force ppl to think
the way we would like.

[sometimes_miss]

Sitting here writing this I am totally depressed with the out dated and bigoted views of what appears to be a sizable portion of the people <snip>
Sadly, much of this is genetically influenced. Women are, and have been, attracted to traditionally dominant masculine behavior because it enhanced the likelyhood of their offspring surviving. Same with men; we are attracted to specific feminine features and behavior because over most of the history of human existance, it was more likely to have our offspring survive. While some degree of intelligent knowledge will allow us to get around that, there is still a huge percentage of the human population that doesn't function on intellect. They ignore factual and logical thought and go with how they feel instead, and those feelings are emotionally driven through hormonally induced states.
In other words, don't get your hopes up. It's not going to change drastically any time soon. Our best bets are to keep to larger population centers where there is, due to the increased human contact, a greater degree of tolerance of different behaviors (simply in order to avoid continuous conflict due to over exposure to what might be otherwise unacceptable behaviors).