came out

[Steph.TS]

I came out to my best friend, part of me with screaming this was a horrible mistake, something I can't take back, the rest of me accepts him at his word that he's cool with it and believes that he'll keep my secret. he seemed quite supportive and understanding. have I gone too far or am I just learning to accept myself?

[Melody Moore]

have I gone too far or am I just learning to accept myself?
Not at all hun, and yes, I believe that you are starting to finally accept yourself.

As you see not everyone is as bad as you imagine them to be, I also feared the bogeyman as well.

This is not to say that everyone will be accepting, you will come across the odd bigoted homo/transphobe here
and there, but for the most part, you will find nothing but acceptance and support from those people that matter
the most to you. If they don't accept it, then you don't need them in your life & you can trust me on that one. ;)

I also urge you to read this article I posted earlier Steph:
As I keep saying... the times they are a changing :) (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?163765-As-I-keep-saying...-the-times-they-are-a-changing-%29)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

:hugs:

you can't predict or control what others do...

so its not a mistake if they reject you or have issues with you...

you are doing what you need to do about your problem...its that simple, and hopefully you can take pride in your courage and conviction

[DAVIDA]

Telling others can be very stressful.
When I told Jean's cousin, I told her that I wanted to tell her something, but that it is not very accepted.
I said that I cannot un-tell.
I just didn't want her to look at me in a different way than before she knew about the "real" me.
She was very much OK with the news.:D
She actually saw me dressed when I went to Savannah last year when I went to meet one of my friends on here.

[Anne2345]

You are correct in that you cannot take it back. There is no unringing that bell! LOL!!! I, too, have told several really close friends recently. Sure there was some risk attached, but I had gotten to the point where had I not let someone in, I was going to explode, and completely lose my sanity (whatever left of it remains, that is - lol). The reward was worth the risk. The sense of liberation, validation, and freedom having done so is exquisite, and not to be underestimated or under-appeciated.

It was an emotional moment, to say the least. It was also very much necessary for me to do so, as it undoubtedly is for a vast majority here who confide in others, including probably you, too. Besides, this person is your best friend. I suspect you trust him implicitly, and not without good reason. Otherwise, he would not be your best friend. I hope it works out for you!

[sandra-leigh]

The sense of liberation, validation, and freedom having done so is exquisite, and not to be underestimated or under-appeciated.

It was an emotional moment, to say the least. It was also very much necessary for me to do so, as it undoubtedly is for a vast majority here who confide in others, including probably you, too.

Hear! Hear! Anne is, in my experience, very right on these points.

I haven't told many of my "friends back home" (these days I only see them about once a year or less), but when it was Time, I could not not tell my mother and sister and best friend. For me I was at the point where not telling was to implicitly lie lie lie to them -- at least within my conscience.

[Jenny Doolittle]

There is a reason that he is your best friend, have confidence in your friendship.

I understand completely, I was the same as you a few months ago before telling my best friend of 30 years. He was cool with it, and sense that day our friendship is as strong as it always was prior to the revelation.

Best friends are all about trust.... trust in him as well.

[arbon]

Coming out to people in the beginning was very stressful for me to. I would have these thoughts "oh god what have I done!" but it gets easier, and for me peace inside followed as my grip on the secret loosened as I knew I was living more honestly with myself. Its something that I felt good that I did not need to be so ashamed about myself anymore that I could let others know and judge me how they will.

It is one of those things where you need to learn to let go of your expectations on how people will react, which is something you really can't control. Some don't have a problem with it, it is not a big deal to them, others find it very difficult to accept. I like what Kaitlyn said - "so its not a mistake if they reject you or have issues with you..."

[Kimberly Long]

Steph.th coming out to friends has been very hard on me, but like Annie said I was about to explode. I live my live 24/7 as Kimberly, I have very few cloths that are of the old me. It has become impossible to hide any more. I am now a full C cup and that is hard to hide. I live in a over 55 community and not sure how they will take it. My wife is 100% behind me in her support. We go out together all the time and I do the shopping and all other errands dressed. So far only one friend knows.

[Bree-asaurus]

It will be okay. It's very scary. But the important people, the ones that really care about you will stick around. Pretty much everyone I told didn't care... most of the concerns I got from my friends and family was regarding my safety. They just didn't want to see me get hurt.

You need to do what's right for YOU, not for them. Remember that. If they can't handle it, that's their problem. You may lose some people, but that's how you find out who you're real friends are.