Crossdressing patterns?

[Stephanie Kay]

I have been looking at a lot of the comments in the forum here recently and wonder if I am detecting a pattern, especially in threads like Marla's thoughtful thread "What if....?"

Am I seeing a bit of a dichotomy here in the replies? Some CDs wear female clothing for 1) the thrill, have little or no desire to go out in public (hide or stay secretive), focus on one or two particular items of clothing, etc. and 2) some because it feels natural and right, are out in public or moving in that direction as a goal, or actually desire to be a woman.

Could it be that 1) is a sign of compulsive or addictive behavior and 2) a sign of true transgendered-ness (or transexual-ness)? It's probably more complex than this (may be a little of both? or a progression from one to the other?), but what do you think?

I know when I came out of the closet several years ago, I could NOT GET ENOUGH of wearing women's clothes, purchased a huge wardrobe, spent almost every waking hour (and some sleeping!!) dressing or wanting to dress. Drove my wife nuts! I was "hooked" (addicted?). Though this behavior has been called the "pink cloud" phase of coming out, it felt really compulsive. Now I have mellowed and accepted my tg-ness and just enjoy feeling feminine and going out as a regular mature lady. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

[Holly]

Hey girl, get outta my head! I think you're on to something. Speaking only for myself, looking back I see it more as a progression rather than obsessive/compulsive behavior vs transgenderism. It was more in the beginning a desire to explore with all vigor this newly identified aspect of my life. Now it is down to fine tuning it and truly enjoying being who I am. Does that make any sense?

[TGMarla]

At times my crossdressing has bordered on obsessive/compulsive behavior, much like addiction. I dressed at the expense of getting other things done, and tried to bend my circumstances so that I found a greater amount of time alone so that I could spend some of it dressed up. Thankfully, I am learning to not let it control me so much as I control it. It's not easy, though. I still go through phases when I feel that it's hard to get a handle on. But I'm progressing.

[MarinaTwelve200]

For those of us who CD to "escape" from our real male selves for a while, It DOES seem like a calming DRUG. It could be "addictive"---while I am not addicted to CD, I get "antsy" and need my CD "fix" every week or two.----Onec I get it out of my systrm , Im good to go as a male for a couple of weeks again, before the urge strikes once more.

[Jenny Beth]

Hey girl, get outta my head! I think you're on to something. Speaking only for myself, looking back I see it more as a progression rather than obsessive/compulsive behavior vs transgenderism. It was more in the beginning a desire to explore with all vigor this newly identified aspect of my life. Now it is down to fine tuning it and truly enjoying being who I am. Does that make any sense?

Makes perfect sense to me. Once I understood the "whys" and became comfortable with myself the clothing became less important.

[GypsyKaren]

I know for me, dressing ruled my life until just before I came out to my wife. I had pretty much stopped doing it because I saw no point to it, which kinda depressed me. Then I bought myself a dress for the first time, and it really made me feel different, I really felt like myself.

Since coming out I have put together quite a wardrobe, and I now go out in public dressed, but it no longer consumes me the way it once did. I now know who I am and accept it, so I'm Karen all the time, no matter how I'm dressed. I feel so much better now about myself now, but it took my wife's help to get there. I now know why it calms me so much, and what being tg is all about.

GypsyKaren

[Tiffy]

Well I have read all the replies and they all make sense. But none of them totally aply to me. I am starting to wonder if I know what the f*&k I am.:bonk: :wall:
Sometimes I just don't get it.

April

[CharleneCD]

I know when I came out of the closet several years ago, I could NOT GET ENOUGH of wearing women's clothes, purchased a huge wardrobe, spent almost every waking hour (and some sleeping!!) dressing or wanting to dress. Drove my wife nuts! I was "hooked" (addicted?). Though this behavior has been called the "pink cloud" phase of coming out, it felt really compulsive. Now I have mellowed and accepted my tg-ness and just enjoy feeling feminine and going out as a regular mature lady. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

This describes me exactly. I think the pink cloud phase for me was because of the many years I repressed my feminine side. She needed her time to develop and adjust. As for it being an addiction, for me I think not. It is just doing what is right for me. Dressing and allowing my fem side to grow has made my life much happier, given me a better outlook, and has made me a better person overall.

[ChrissyCrossedLegs]

I'ver actually had this discussion with a close non dressing male friend of mine only this week, and although we did explore many different thoughts and feelings about my dressing, in the end I kept coming back to the same thing. This all started for me when i was about 7-9 (time in my life is very fuzzy due to bullying at school). I half wish I could remember what was going on in my head when I first started to feel satin clothes on my body, for sure by the time i was on my teens it had become a sexual turn on, and I don't for a second think that kids are beyond being obsessed with things.

However, I couldn't quite get my head around how any of this could be stuck in a box and labeled 'This is a crossdressers life, this is how it all starts, and ends' because I already know all you lot.. and many of you are nothing like me, wonderful as you are..
I am me, I do this for my reasons, not yours. I don't know a lot of the time why when I stick on my fem things the world suddenly feels a better place. It amazes me that I calm down and become a nicer person (friends have all said this happens). To finish waffleing.. IF this is an obsession, then does that mean we have something that if done with love for our families, a little bit of thought, and a lot of communication we actually have a posative obsession?
Just my thoughts before i nod off
SammyJo

[kristine239]

Well, over the years, with all of the CD's and more that I have helped you all have similiar ideas.

But what you call "the pink cloud" is what we at CDI call "coming through the looking glass" Once you take the initial step outside of the closet and into the real world, find that you have been missing a lot and that it was all your fears, not those of others (even the general public) then you do tend to be excessive/compulsive. Spending too much money and time, negelcting family work, etc, etc. It happens all the time, but usually only lasts for a short time until you realize what you are, what you have just done and where you are going.

Once that step has been made, everything else is simple.

See ya all at Transgender 2006.

Love Kristine

[Deborah]

Patterns? Oh yes. You can almost predict when the next "what is your favorite type of panties" or "Do you dress for thrills or gender" post will pop up again. ;)

[Lauren_T]

Patterns? Oh yes. You can almost predict when the next "what is your favorite type of panties" or "Do you dress for thrills or gender" post will pop up again. ;)Ya! I wonder if those topics (and maybe 'one or two' other hardy perennials as well...?) should be made stickies and be done with it...:p

[Sweet Susan]

Now, I'm even more confused.

[Sarahgurl371]

For me I had considered the earlier phases obsessive/compulsive. I think that it was because I was in denial about this whole thing. I would put it off as long as possible, then without warning "act out" when the opportunity presented itself. After many years of this type of behaviour, I began to question this all very seriously, which has lead me down the path to self acceptance.

Now I still have a great desire to dress, one could say that it is more intense because I have seen myself totally dressed, and I absolutley love it. In my earlier days, I would tend to be into one or two usually intimate items. But now I really love the whole package and its not about sexual feeling or erotiscm. Although I do feel more romantic and want to be intimate when dressed, it is not necessary a prelide to a sexual encounter.

It is wonderful to see myself and feel myself when fully dressed, I could doit everyday for a while probably, and spend tons of money on clothing. This has happened since I told my wife, I guess I've come out? I have never heard of the Pink Cloud Phase or Stepping Through The Looking Glass, but I guess this is it. I just feel so wonderful that I want to spend as much time as possible this way.

So for me it has been both a obsessive/compulsive thing, which I worked very hard at taking out of this whole thing. I did seriously question if I had an addiction. And now Ihave seriously been considering the Trangender/ Gender dysphoria side of this all. It seems as though once I admitted the truth to myself, I have been more complete and happier than I have been for many years, despite the fact that my marraige has ahd some serious waves from this all. I don't see how anyone who has felt like me could not question thier gender status. But then again maybe its just a new sport called Extreme Crossdressing.