Not the same...

[britney1]

Today is my dy to work in the office, wife is gone towork, so I figured to dress en femme while I work. many of you know that my wife found has found out about my cding and needless to say, isn't very thrilled about it. This is really my first time totally en femme since I was discovered. I went all the way today. I finally got my new breast forms (which I Love) so i figured I would go all the way. I painted my toes, put on the fake nails (thats a totally new experience), and spent extra time on my makeup. I think this is my best look yet. But since my wife found out, I just don't feel the same when i am Britney. i just don't have that "thrill" that I used to feel when i was dressed. What does that mean? Why don't I have that same feminine feeling that I used to get?

[TGMarla]

It's your guilt talking to you. You feel underneath it all that you are doing this behind your back. It's a bit of a compulsion at times, isn't it? This is coupled with the fact that you have not been very happy and at peace with yourself since the whole situation blew up, and your dressing is bringing all that back to you.

It'll pass.

You are what you are, and if Britney is important to you, you will find a way. If you find that Britney is less important to you, she will go dormant for a while. In my experience and from what I have learned here and in other places, even if she does go away for a while, she'll come back over time. Time. It's what you need right now. And if the thrill is gone, don't force the issue with yourself. Do what feels right. You'll be all right.

[CharleneCD]

Britney, in the short time I have been dressing I have found that stress can seriously affect my enjoyment of being dressed. Making the decision and all the packing and preparing for our move to Michigan next week has majorly cut back on my desire to dress. Cut it back but not taken it away as last weeks curler time will show. I think it has to do with which aspect of our personalities deals with certain kinds of stress best. The female side seems to be the best to relieve everyday stress but for the big stuff the guy in us can take charge.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

As has been said it's probably both guilt and stress. After I injured my knee, I lost any desire to dress for awhile, but it's starting to come back. Dressing can be good for stress relief, but just like other things, you can be too stressed out to engage in stress relief.

You also sounded earlier like you were going through a bit of a "kid in a candy store" period after repressing your desires for a long time, so you're probably not feeling that same initial thrill.

So anyway, do what feels right for you now. If it's not satisfying, don't force it.

[Shannon]

Britney -- all I can say is that I agree with what the other girls have said. You are now dressing up in a different circumstance -- your wife knows, there is stress and tension in your marriage -- lots of new things to deal with. Time usually lessens the impact of these situational stressors.

Best wishes for you.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Britney
ITs one of those things that happen. Circumstances change and so will your feelings. At the moment dressing is not the most important thing on your mind.

Your marriage is

You wanted to enjoy being dressed but its never that easy.
You are feeling a little guilty dressing, as you know your wife dissapproves and the issue has not been resolved.
Speaking from experience I can tell you that your feelings will change again before a solution is achieved.

Time and communication are the key things

Good Luck

[Carlacd]

Britney,
The one common word, used in EVERY ones post so far, is Time. Give yourself Time and your wife Time. It will not happen over night, this week, next month, next year. Time is the key word. And if you want your marriage to work, you got all the Time in the world.:)

[Jodi Lynn]

Hi Britney,
I think it is the stress of your wife knowing, but not accepting. I was "found out" last April and I didn't feel the same a frist. But that all changed about two months ago when I got the chance to go out again as Jodi. Now I am back to where I was and more.

Hugs Jodi Lynn

[robinLynn]

It's your guilt talking to you. You feel underneath it all that you are doing this behind your back. It's a bit of a compulsion at times, isn't it? This is coupled with the fact that you have not been very happy and at peace with yourself since the whole situation blew up, and your dressing is bringing all that back to you.

It'll pass.

You are what you are, and if Britney is important to you, you will find a way. If you find that Britney is less important to you, she will go dormant for a while. In my experience and from what I have learned here and in other places, even if she does go away for a while, she'll come back over time. Time. It's what you need right now. And if the thrill is gone, don't force the issue with yourself. Do what feels right. You'll be all right.
I have to agree with marla on this trust me ive been there

[DonnaT]

Could be the guilt, could be the stress, or it could be the lack of an adrenaline rush you might have used to get when worried about being caught.

[Sophia Rearen]

Britney,
Try dressing for you. Maybe now it's not about the thrill. Get dressed and enjoy the process. Feel the fabrics and the nails. Relish the transformation and notice the use of the hands as you brush stroke makeup on. Now is the time to go deep inside yourself and find out who you really are. For now forget about the thrill. Just enjoy being Britney.

[Wendy me]

all crossdressers go through this from time to time for what ever reason ....it is what it is nouthing more ... don't waste a lot of time getting all hung up on it .... at one time you will get the feeling back ....

[oztallulah]

Agreeing with most of what has been said. Yes, over the years I have been there, done that, had a crash and burn session. That little guilt thingummy, sitting on the shoulder sometimes plays tricks with our minds. Please take note of your 'words'........

"It's not the final destination, but journey along the way that counts"