Compliment women

[Sarah Doepner]

We worry about making a comment to someone we think may be a crossdresser when we see them out shopping. We don't want to out them and make them feel their presentation is poor and we don't want to discover we complimented a FAB for looking like a woman, ouch!

It seems the answer is to just be natural and if you see an outfit, or jewelry or shoes, whatever, that you like, just make the compliment. Most of the time it will be women who are on the receiving end and if you are honest and non-threatening, they should appreciate that their efforts have been recognized and appreciated. If you make the comment and the person is a crossdresser it should improve their day as well. If you have been making compliments on a regular basis it should come across as just that, a compliment. Then they may decide you are not a threat or a jerk, and there could be more conversation to follow. If not, you made someone smile.

We practice doing our makeup, picking out outfits and perfecting our presentation. Why not practice being appreciative of our inspiration?

[Michelle 2]

Sarah I lift my glass of ice tea to that idea. It is a win-win situation all around.

Michelle

[KarenS]

I agree Sarah. I enjoy observing the styles and colors women dress in. It inspires me and I love to compliment them for being well dressed. It makes me feel good and I strongly suspect it makes them feel good too. If it happens to bd a CD that I compliment, all the better. But, I would never say anything that might "out" a CD.

We all like to hear compliments about us. I think it is a little like a smile that is shared. Makes you feel good and is a little contagious.

[Cynthia Anne]

Sarah, that is a wonderful idea! For me to have a good day I must help someone else to have a good day! Thank you! Hugs!

[Jennifer Soames]

I agree just compliment someone who looks nice if you are so inclined.

I have done this and it can lead to some great conversations. I once told a woman that she looked very girly in a non threatening manner. She took the compliment and said everyone should wear pretty things. I added "women you mean" to the end of her statement and to my surprise she said men too.

She said why shouldn't men wear pretty things if they want to. I couldn't come up with a reply and she laughed at my embarrasment i think more to cover it over but then said "Im sure you would look lovely in a lacy pair of knickers". I was too embarrased to answer again and she just talked on after about a couple of seconds which seemed like an age. We talked about what we were doing on our upcoming time off. I was going camping and she said the she and her boyfriend were going to a spa.

Once in a blue moon she will says something like "got your lacy knickers on" when I make a mistake and get annoyed we both laugh at it.

So a compliment can build a friendship. I guess what she does not know is that I would love her to buy a pair of lacy knickers for me to have on. oh well we can dream.

[eluuzion]

I probably acknowledge someone or something I find attractive at least 2-3 times every day when I am out and about. Not in a stalker rapist axe-murderer way, but just a quick comment as I am walking by. Males or females...does not matter...If I like something...I let people know it. (but I would not just approach a CD or anybody else out of the blue. That is definitely a "Chester-the-Molester" move that would freak most people out...:)

Life is too short to just drift through it.

[sanderlay]

Sarah... I agree... but... how will I be perceived? Do I understand what a complement is? What mood am I setting? Am I taking... or am I giving? Have I made someone else's day better?

For myself I'm often too self absorbed in my own life and forget to even smile. It is an art to give and even receive a complement with grace and I'm in awe of those who practice this often. Women can teach us so much if we are willing to learn and embrace these nuances of human communication. But speaking for myself I'm often too afraid of how I might be perceived by another person to risk initiating... a complement. Will they think I have a hidden agenda? Why is he/she doing this? Are they coming on to me?

Hopefully... I'm smiling... and that small but powerful signal helps to set another person at ease. But perhaps I'm forgetting what a complement is. Growing up as a man I think I'm to often under the mistaken impression that this is flirting. But if I look closer as women complement each other this idea of flirting is obviously incorrect. There is another innate motivation at work that drives this. Could it be a form of nurture (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nurture)?

Am I a person that gives and encourages another to be their best? Or do I do I take from another person's emotions to feel better about myself? Am I staking out my own territory and fighting off those who come near?

For myself I still have much to learn in encouraging the feminine inside myself. As much I love wearing feminine clothing, skirts, jewelry, etc... it is but an outer shell of what is feminine inside myself. I personally hope I can learn what it is to be... feminine... and help another person to smile each day.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Giving a complement in a work place can be kind of tricky, so wjen I do it, I kind of try to make light of it.

Just this week. a young woman wearing platform pumps got on the elevator with me, and I said, "Normally I would ask how you can walk in those heels, but I see you're doing just fine." She responded that it just takes practice.

Later on, I had some business in another woman's office. I complemented her on her boots. She thanked me. Then I told her she couldn't be an engineer, she just dressed too well.

[Kaz]

Totally agree BUT... men complementing women? In the workplace? I have done this for years... got me nowhere. The way to get ahead is to be arrogant, demeaning of admin staff (mostly women), and never ever think of a woman as your equal... they have their place, accepted, but they need to respect that fact! LOL!!!!

[Billie Jean]

I have always complimented women on their clothes and hair. Most of them appreciate it Billie Jean

[BillieJoEllen]

I too will compliment women whenever its appropriate to do so. They always seem to appreciate it when I do. A few however have told me that its quite unusual for men to compliment them. My question is- why would they dress so spectacularly if they didn't want to be noticed and if that is the case wouldn't they want to hear about it?

[Daphne Renee]

I have never had a problem when giving someone a sincere compliment. I think you should whenever you can.

[ashlylynn]

We worry about making a comment to someone we think may be a crossdresser when we see them out shopping. We don't want to out them and make them feel their presentation is poor and we don't want to discover we complimented a FAB for looking like a woman, ouch!

It seems the answer is to just be natural and if you see an outfit, or jewelry or shoes, whatever, that you like, just make the compliment. Most of the time it will be women who are on the receiving end and if you are honest and non-threatening, they should appreciate that their efforts have been recognized and appreciated. If you make the comment and the person is a crossdresser it should improve their day as well. If you have been making compliments on a regular basis it should come across as just that, a compliment. Then they may decide you are not a threat or a jerk, and there could be more conversation to follow. If not, you made someone smile.

We practice doing our makeup, picking out outfits and perfecting our presentation. Why not practice being appreciative of our inspiration?

As a GG , I can tell you that when I receive a compliment from a guy about my appearance
( clothing, hair, etc ) I generally "know" there is ulterior motive and get away quickly.
I was socialized and pre-programmed with instincts that cause me to INTERPRET
anything "nice" from a guy as some sort of "trap". And MOST females feel the same way
whether we like it or not.

[ashlylynn]

My question is- why would they dress so spectacularly if they didn't want to be noticed and if that is the case wouldn't they want to hear about it?

Answer:

Presentation and social ranking among PEERS ( other females ) PERIOD.
Very rarely do females do ANYTHING to impress males.
Signal to? YES
Dress for? NO

[tiffanyjo89]

I have heard it said that women really don't like compliments on their body (like their boobs or butt...something about it being out of their control) but they love compliments on stuff that obviously takes an effort to do (like their eye makeup, if they are wearing any and their clothing choices).

[RenneB]

I'll compliment a girl on what she's wearing or how she's matched it up with something else but then have to stop short or I'll be tippin the ol had on being a guy that knows wayyy too much about what a GG is wearing. I could say, "that's a really nice outfit, it goes well with your coat" and be done with it. However, I'd be going to far to say, "that's a really nice pair of Aldo slingbacks you got there girl. They go really well with that Jones New York rauched dress... " So although I might be saying that in my mind, I'm always on the defence to keep my superhero identity secret...

Renne.....

[Sometimes Steffi]

As a GG , I can tell you that when I receive a compliment from a guy about my appearance
( clothing, hair, etc ) I generally "know" there is ulterior motive and get away quickly.
I was socialized and pre-programmed with instincts that cause me to INTERPRET
anything "nice" from a guy as some sort of "trap". And MOST females feel the same way
whether we like it or not.

I was aware that some females felt that way, but not most. It's really too bad.

I only do it in non threatening situations, and make a point not to stalk or otherwise stay past my welcome.

I've also gotten some outstanding reactions from some of the females who don't feel that way. This one yound woman stood up from her desk and twirled her long skirt around. I really wanted to know where she got it, but didn't want to ask, in case it came off as too creepy.


I'll compliment a girl on what she's wearing or how she's matched it up with something else but then have to stop short or I'll be tippin the ol had on being a guy that knows wayyy too much about what a GG is wearing. I could say, "that's a really nice outfit, it goes well with your coat" and be done with it. However, I'd be going to far to say, "that's a really nice pair of Aldo slingbacks you got there girl. They go really well with that Jones New York rauched dress... " So although I might be saying that in my mind, I'm always on the defence to keep my superhero identity secret...

Renne.....

I actually try to mess up and call a T-Shirt a blouse or a skirt a dress. Nice try for a (supposedly) dumb guy.

[McKailah]

I'll compliment a girl on what she's wearing or how she's matched it up with something else but then have to stop short or I'll be tippin the ol had on being a guy that knows wayyy too much about what a GG is wearing. I could say, "that's a really nice outfit, it goes well with your coat" and be done with it. However, I'd be going to far to say, "that's a really nice pair of Aldo slingbacks you got there girl. They go really well with that Jones New York rauched dress... " So although I might be saying that in my mind, I'm always on the defence to keep my superhero identity secret...

Renne.....

I know exactly how you feel. I compliment women all the time on what they are wearing. In my mind I am saying I want your shoes or your dress, but what comes out is I like your boots (skirt, dress, blouse, hair, jeans, etc...). It looks nice on you. I have noticed that I get really weird looks from most GGs when I compliment them. I would like to experiment and try complimenting women when I am fully dressed and see what happens.

[Raychel Torn]

Sarah you are so right. Not more than three weeks ago I was out in public "dressed" for the first time in my life. Three women walked past me and one turned and said "I really like your outfit." Now I don't know if they thought I was a women, or a CD, but I'll tell you it didn't matter. It felt good.

[skirtsuit]

Personally, I love a nice comment from a woman when en femme, so I try to occasionally return the favor when I see a really nicely dressed woman and the mood is right. They always respond positively and I believe it's possible to compliment a woman on her clothing without making a pass. Maybe letting on that you know about womens clothing will let her know you don't have alterior motives?

Shortly after I started going out a woman told me that women dress for other women, and that makes sense when you watch women dressed like one. A GG friend said that women also dress for themselves to feel good. That I can totally understand and makes getting and recieving compliments feel right & good. If you see a woman who looks and acts like a million, say so!

Best,
SS

[jessi]

I too will compliment women whenever its appropriate to do so. They always seem to appreciate it when I do. A few however have told me that its quite unusual for men to compliment them. My question is- why would they dress so spectacularly if they didn't want to be noticed and if that is the case wouldn't they want to hear about it?


Based only on my peronsal understanding of women:
Most women don't dress well to be "noticed". They dress well to increase their self-confidence, and to increase their status among other women. "Being noticed" is something women seek in specific situations, and they need to feel that they are in a safe/appropriate environment for it. Some women are sexually forward enough to want to "be noticed" all of the time, but they are the minority.

[Billie Jean]

As a GG , I can tell you that when I receive a compliment from a guy about my appearance
( clothing, hair, etc ) I generally "know" there is ulterior motive and get away quickly.
I was socialized and pre-programmed with instincts that cause me to INTERPRET
anything "nice" from a guy as some sort of "trap". And MOST females feel the same way
whether we like it or not.Most of the women I have complimented have graciously accepted them. Not every guy is looking to have sex with you just because he likes the way your dress or hair looks. I'm sorry you are so paranoid. Billie Jean

[BillieJoEllen]

I most respectfully have to disagree with you Ashlylynn. I had two older sisters living at home and they were always asking each other if their upcoming dates would like what they're wearing. My mother also always wondered that what she was wearing would be acceptable to my father.
I have heard your argument before and I think that is partly true.