Gossip much?

[sandra-leigh]

Do you? "Gossip like a girl" ?

Or if you don't "gossip", do you have that easy socialization with others that might include talking about friends (or co-workers, or clients) ?

Myself, I am a long way from the gossip circles at work. I am one of the few people who isn't on our internal social mailing list (I got quickly tired of the messages about charity food sales and free puppies and so on.) I find out about weddings or people leaving or about deaths only afterwards. I've had friends be quite sick and away from work for months on end; I only found out why they were not around after they returned.

My dearth of "social networking" at work has caused trouble with my work at times, in that my supervisors sometimes assumed I knew things that "everybody knows" but had never been mentioned or emailed to me, with my supervisors interpreting my lack of action on whatever it was to be deliberate on my part. And these days the real news about our internal reorganization is all by word of mouth, as no-one wants to go on the record about anything.

I don't socialize like women are traditionally said to do. I never have. I doubt I ever will.

But I don't socialize like guys are traditionally said to do either. There were several years at work where promotions and job opportunities and internal communications pretty much became based upon whether you went out and got drunk twice a week (at least) with "the boys". I didn't go at all, and it worked against me.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Sandra I know what you mean about not going out with the boys, but over the years it was about doing the job right the first time. I was at Walgreen's today and this older guy was buying nail polish, stockings, tights, and panties. What a nut, but he did seem happy with his purchase. OH wait! That was me LOL! The only one I can or will gossip about is me.

Hugs

[Marleena]

I was at Walgreen's today and this older guy was buying nail polish, stockings, tights, and panties. What a nut, but he did seem happy with his purchase. OH wait! That was me LOL!

Hugs

This is funny! Thanks for the giggle Trish,:)

To answer the question, Sandra I'm a bit of a loner. I realized I didn't fit in with the guys very well because of my cd tendencies, I think. I felt different.

On this forum it's different, if posting an awful lot is considered gossiping, then I'm a big gossiper.:)

[eluuzion]

No, I am not a fan of "gossip". I am vigilant about keeping whatever personal issues people share with me tomyself. (aside from basic stuff) It allows me to avoid any connection with any embellished stories that always get distorted each time they are passed on. (Chinese whisper game scenarios)

I talk about ideas mostly. When I talk with people, I usually end up walking away with in-depth knowledge about their lives and them knowing little or nothing about me. I am just curious. I already know what I am doing...heeheee.

I do however make up ridiculously absurd and distorted stories about random people and events on a regular basis. Most people who know me are used to it. I narrate some completely bizarre account of some random person we pass by in a car or see in a store.

In about 15 seconds I can create a life story of how some random guy in a Wal-Mart aisle became a serial killer, and identify his preferred murder weapon based upon the evidence left on his shoes...heehee. I can't help it. My daughter and friends are used to it. I am just a nut case. It has something to do with being very observant and retaining it.

When my daughter was very young I was always concerned that my distorted cartoon perception of my surroundings might end up making her appear to be mentally "off" when she grew up, lol. She does have a pretty interesting sense of humor,,and can recall lots of random information. But I think she is pretty normal...except when she runs over people on the sidewalks with her car and drives blindfolded...hehehe


Or, I might just be a lucky nutcase that happens to be allowed to roam free for some unknown reason...:battingeyelashes:

:love:

[DebbieL]

When I was young, especially grade school and junior high, I was a loner. I wasn't allowed to play with the girls, and the girls in school wouldn't play with me. I was afraid of the boys, who would beat me up, throw rocks at me, and at one point almost permanently crippled me. I had a few friends, fellow "egg-heads" who read books and such like I did. I even kept my friendships a secret so that they wouldn't get hurt.

By the time I did start to socialize with kids my own age (my mom forced me to go out and play with kids my own age for at least 1 hour every day), I knew how much damage gossip could cause, because I was the one they often talked about. I did get much more socialized, and because I was that age where I was SUPPOSED to want to "chase girls", the girls were more interested in talking to me. Of course, because I was more interested in their make-up, hair, clothes, and personal lives, and friends, and looking them in the eyes instead of down their blouse, they really liked to talk to me and tell me lots of GOOD things about themselves and their friends. When I talked to them, I would tell them what was great about various people.

Because I talked instead of oggling, they assumed that I was gay, and the gossip went there. By the time I got to high school, I stopped caring. In 8th grade, one of the hoods hit me over the head with a book, and I put the heel of my hand up his nose in the time it took for my clarinet and book bag to hit the floor. When the nurse told him I almost killed him, nobody wanted to take the chance that it was more than a lucky shot.

I kept separate spheres and dated girls from other schools to preserve my presumed "gay" status. When I was in the all school show and my girl-friend (from another school of course) came into the dressing room and gave me a great big kiss, half the girls in the cast just stared with their jaws wide open. At one point, my girl friends all decided to "share" me. I would visit each of them once a week, and do things they liked with them (mostly kissing and fondling to climax), but they knew that I didn't want sex with them.

The one time I gave into the temptation to gossip, telling "dirt" about others, with by new room-mate in college, everything I said was twisted and enhanced to the point where, when he shared the gossip with others, quoting me as the resource, it pretty much destroyed my reputation in college. It took about 6 months for others to figure out that he frequently "distorted" what others had told him. Unfortunately by then I graduated.

I went to a women's college and was an "honorary Member" of the Mu Phi Epsilon sorority. The school was 825 women and 25 men, about 15 were gay, 8 were in relationships, and since I was single and just played match maker, I became a "Little Sister" my freshman year, and by second semester, they had figured out that I was at least a transvestite, but I was so afraid of getting persecuted, or kicked out, that I refused to admit it.

In my sophomore year, a girl picked me up. She tried to seduce me, but I wasn't dressed so I was too ticklish to enjoy it. When I told her I was a virgin (after bringing her orgasm several times), she quickly adopted me as her "Lesbian Lover" and we continued that relationship for about 6 months, until she fell in love with a Saudi Prince.

I had learned early on that when a woman gossiped, it was because she was feeling insecure. Often I would help her build up her self esteem. I would ask about things she was passionate about, her goals, her ambitions, her hopes, her dreams. And I would compliment her on the things that mattered to her.

Because I didn't tell the dirt on others, many girls came to trust me and tell me things they would never tell others. The would tell me when they thought they might be pregnant, when they had been date-raped, when they had drug problems, and the other things where they really wanted help, or they just needed someone to talk to so they could talk it out, vent, and make some decisions for themselves.

When I got married, my wife would be the one in the room with all the guys, talking about sports, joking about sex, fishing, hunting, military, and drinking. I was usually in the kitchen, talking about recipes, cooking tips, diet tricks, Midol, children, and men.

[Marleena]

Good point there Eluuzion. I never share personal information with others when somebody confides in me. My head may explode some day because of it.:)

[April_Ligeia]

This is a funny thread considering that everyone in this forum is a potential subject of gossip for 'straight' society.

[Shananigans]

I think most mature GGs try to stay FAR AWAY from gossip...especially, when it comes to work. Some very sound advice from my father (a self-made business man) was that if I wanted to be quickly promoted and respected in my career, I should "stay the hell away from gossip and the people doing the gossiping". Those were his exact words.

I agree with him.

What I have noticed because I generally do not gossip and try to stay away from it is that people trust me. I know more than I care to know about most of my friends and acquaintances. It seems that when someone pours their heart out to you and asks for your discretion, they continue coming back to you when they realize you kept your word.

This wasn't always the case when I was younger. And, even today I will complain to my close friends and my SO about certain people. But, to people that I work with?....NO WAY!

[Karren H]

Ahh yeah... First stop in the morning is our very cute receptionist... To find out who's doing what to whom... Then to the lady that runs the bistro... For anything the receptionist forgot to tell me... Then up to my office to listen to 4 hours of Cosmo Radio's Wakeup with Taylor... To becone "the most informed girl at the water cooler"... And find out who's doing whom! Lol.

[Karren H]

What do you mean by gossip? You mean the nasty secrets sort of chat?

I think in general, it is useful to get info and pass it on to people in your own circle. I don't mean the nasty stuff, I mean like who has a new car or who just broke his leg. It sort of bonds people.

I heard he broke his leg when he ran over it with his new car trying to excape from his wife who caught him wearing her clothes!!

[Shananigans]

What do you mean by gossip? You mean the nasty secrets sort of chat?

I think in general, it is useful to get info and pass it on to people in your own circle. I don't mean the nasty stuff, I mean like who has a new car or who just broke his leg. It sort of bonds people.

Yeah, but that's not gossiping. Gossiping is when you are spreading personal information about someone else behind that person's back...most of the time it is just a rumor.

"Chatting" and gossiping are not the same things. If my coworker wants to announce to the world that a tornado took out part of his roof in Auburn this last Wednesday (it did), then I'd be free to tell my other coworkers, "Did you hear about Adam's roof? He even said he didn't have insurance! Bless his heart." If someone came up to me and said they had heard from another person that Adam was cheating on his girlfriend with Cindy Jo at the local titty bar....THAT would be gossiping. It didn't come from the original source and is basically a person heard from a person who heard from a person...it's also understood that this info should be spread without the person who is part of the rumor actually knowing about it.

Usually, the person that is the subject of the rumor finds out and there is a huge fiasco. One fiasco at a previous work location involved the boss' wife and each and every person who was implicated in the rumor was called to talk to both the wife and the boss.

Thus, I stay out of it.

[Karren H]

The miners where I used to work were the best gossipers on the planet!! "I heard there was a train with 43 flat cars coming to load up all out mining equipment and take it to Arizona". I learnt from the best. Lol.