Koka
11-18-2011, 11:50 AM
Good morning wonderful people!:bighug2:
I have started my HRT about 1 1/2 month ago. I am on Estradiol and Finasteride. Although part of me is very happy about it and with the support of my therapist affirming that I am indeed a transgender woman, I feel sort of comfortable doing it, however; there is a part of me that keeps haunting me and injecting doubt about continuing with the HRT process. See, I live a very holistic lifestyle, I am 41 yo, I am a yoga instructor, vegetarian and exercise all the time. I live a very healthy lifestyle, don't smoke, don't drink, meditate twice a day, go to sleep early and the like. I have never been in any kind of medication ever, my lab results came all clean, my doctor even joked about me needing some junk food so I can raise my bad cholesterol levels, my liver is in great condition (reason he prescribed injections instead of pills as to bypass liver). In other words, I am very healthy person and when I started taking the hormones, I immediately started feeling so guilty about it, I started taking Spironolactone (very low dose) and it really put my body upside down (dizziness, headaches, etc), thank God doctor changed me to Finasteride and I now feel much better. Anyway, this part of me is not really letting me enjoy the process and keeps bugging me in the back of my mind about all the risks and the bad I am doing to my body. I have mentioned it to my therapist and although she said there are risks like with other every medicine in the world, my problem resides in the lifestyle I have and the concepts of having a pure clean, healthy body. Another friend of mine who also happens to be on HRT, she said that it sounds as if I am giving excuses to myself to find a way out of it. I cannot deny that sometimes I am afraid of what is going to happen in the future. I know transitioning is a VERY important decision and it should not be taken lightly. Again, part of me tells me to move on, but the other (i guess fear) tells me not to, by like I mentioned before, injecting all kinds of doubts in me.
I have done research about transgender women having serious problems due to HRT and I could not find any case. My therapist also mentioned people on HRT for years and not wanting to do SRS and they live a perfectly happy and healthy lives. In fact, there are lots of successful transgender women in the world who live a very productive and healthy lives.
As of today (and this might change) I don't think I will pursue SRS, as I have accepted that part of myself just the way it is and also because I lived a wonderful man life which allowed me to bring to this world two wonderful kids (1 boy 12 yo and 1 gir 10 yo) - both being accepting of their father and I want to be here for them to be able to support them, love them and help them become the best they can be.
I wish I could say I am enjoying the whole process but honestly I am not and I really want to and need to. Recently I have started developing breasts and I feel so happy but at the same time I am afraid of something happening to them in the future, lumps, cancer, etc. It is annoying because I come from a healthy family with no history of cancers or anything. The female members of the family are all super healthy. I am being very honest here with all you, I would love you to be super honest with me. If you think I am paranoid, and/or crazy and/or not ready, I would like you to please input your perceptions and comments and experiences.
Does anyone of you know or met another transgender woman who has been on HRT for long time? Do you know of any serious consequences of transgender women being on HRT for 20 or 30 years? Your input is appreciated.
Thank you all for your time and input. I really hope you could bring me some light and facts so I can considerate in my journey towards becoming a woman.
Have a wonderful weekend!
I have started my HRT about 1 1/2 month ago. I am on Estradiol and Finasteride. Although part of me is very happy about it and with the support of my therapist affirming that I am indeed a transgender woman, I feel sort of comfortable doing it, however; there is a part of me that keeps haunting me and injecting doubt about continuing with the HRT process. See, I live a very holistic lifestyle, I am 41 yo, I am a yoga instructor, vegetarian and exercise all the time. I live a very healthy lifestyle, don't smoke, don't drink, meditate twice a day, go to sleep early and the like. I have never been in any kind of medication ever, my lab results came all clean, my doctor even joked about me needing some junk food so I can raise my bad cholesterol levels, my liver is in great condition (reason he prescribed injections instead of pills as to bypass liver). In other words, I am very healthy person and when I started taking the hormones, I immediately started feeling so guilty about it, I started taking Spironolactone (very low dose) and it really put my body upside down (dizziness, headaches, etc), thank God doctor changed me to Finasteride and I now feel much better. Anyway, this part of me is not really letting me enjoy the process and keeps bugging me in the back of my mind about all the risks and the bad I am doing to my body. I have mentioned it to my therapist and although she said there are risks like with other every medicine in the world, my problem resides in the lifestyle I have and the concepts of having a pure clean, healthy body. Another friend of mine who also happens to be on HRT, she said that it sounds as if I am giving excuses to myself to find a way out of it. I cannot deny that sometimes I am afraid of what is going to happen in the future. I know transitioning is a VERY important decision and it should not be taken lightly. Again, part of me tells me to move on, but the other (i guess fear) tells me not to, by like I mentioned before, injecting all kinds of doubts in me.
I have done research about transgender women having serious problems due to HRT and I could not find any case. My therapist also mentioned people on HRT for years and not wanting to do SRS and they live a perfectly happy and healthy lives. In fact, there are lots of successful transgender women in the world who live a very productive and healthy lives.
As of today (and this might change) I don't think I will pursue SRS, as I have accepted that part of myself just the way it is and also because I lived a wonderful man life which allowed me to bring to this world two wonderful kids (1 boy 12 yo and 1 gir 10 yo) - both being accepting of their father and I want to be here for them to be able to support them, love them and help them become the best they can be.
I wish I could say I am enjoying the whole process but honestly I am not and I really want to and need to. Recently I have started developing breasts and I feel so happy but at the same time I am afraid of something happening to them in the future, lumps, cancer, etc. It is annoying because I come from a healthy family with no history of cancers or anything. The female members of the family are all super healthy. I am being very honest here with all you, I would love you to be super honest with me. If you think I am paranoid, and/or crazy and/or not ready, I would like you to please input your perceptions and comments and experiences.
Does anyone of you know or met another transgender woman who has been on HRT for long time? Do you know of any serious consequences of transgender women being on HRT for 20 or 30 years? Your input is appreciated.
Thank you all for your time and input. I really hope you could bring me some light and facts so I can considerate in my journey towards becoming a woman.
Have a wonderful weekend!