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View Full Version : HRT Questions Ref: Health, Success and Afraid



Koka
11-18-2011, 11:50 AM
Good morning wonderful people!:bighug2:

I have started my HRT about 1 1/2 month ago. I am on Estradiol and Finasteride. Although part of me is very happy about it and with the support of my therapist affirming that I am indeed a transgender woman, I feel sort of comfortable doing it, however; there is a part of me that keeps haunting me and injecting doubt about continuing with the HRT process. See, I live a very holistic lifestyle, I am 41 yo, I am a yoga instructor, vegetarian and exercise all the time. I live a very healthy lifestyle, don't smoke, don't drink, meditate twice a day, go to sleep early and the like. I have never been in any kind of medication ever, my lab results came all clean, my doctor even joked about me needing some junk food so I can raise my bad cholesterol levels, my liver is in great condition (reason he prescribed injections instead of pills as to bypass liver). In other words, I am very healthy person and when I started taking the hormones, I immediately started feeling so guilty about it, I started taking Spironolactone (very low dose) and it really put my body upside down (dizziness, headaches, etc), thank God doctor changed me to Finasteride and I now feel much better. Anyway, this part of me is not really letting me enjoy the process and keeps bugging me in the back of my mind about all the risks and the bad I am doing to my body. I have mentioned it to my therapist and although she said there are risks like with other every medicine in the world, my problem resides in the lifestyle I have and the concepts of having a pure clean, healthy body. Another friend of mine who also happens to be on HRT, she said that it sounds as if I am giving excuses to myself to find a way out of it. I cannot deny that sometimes I am afraid of what is going to happen in the future. I know transitioning is a VERY important decision and it should not be taken lightly. Again, part of me tells me to move on, but the other (i guess fear) tells me not to, by like I mentioned before, injecting all kinds of doubts in me.
I have done research about transgender women having serious problems due to HRT and I could not find any case. My therapist also mentioned people on HRT for years and not wanting to do SRS and they live a perfectly happy and healthy lives. In fact, there are lots of successful transgender women in the world who live a very productive and healthy lives.

As of today (and this might change) I don't think I will pursue SRS, as I have accepted that part of myself just the way it is and also because I lived a wonderful man life which allowed me to bring to this world two wonderful kids (1 boy 12 yo and 1 gir 10 yo) - both being accepting of their father and I want to be here for them to be able to support them, love them and help them become the best they can be.

I wish I could say I am enjoying the whole process but honestly I am not and I really want to and need to. Recently I have started developing breasts and I feel so happy but at the same time I am afraid of something happening to them in the future, lumps, cancer, etc. It is annoying because I come from a healthy family with no history of cancers or anything. The female members of the family are all super healthy. I am being very honest here with all you, I would love you to be super honest with me. If you think I am paranoid, and/or crazy and/or not ready, I would like you to please input your perceptions and comments and experiences.
Does anyone of you know or met another transgender woman who has been on HRT for long time? Do you know of any serious consequences of transgender women being on HRT for 20 or 30 years? Your input is appreciated.

Thank you all for your time and input. I really hope you could bring me some light and facts so I can considerate in my journey towards becoming a woman.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Aprilrain
11-18-2011, 01:53 PM
Be happy you are ridiculously healthy! It doesn't sound like the general health risks associated with HRT are your real problem, you just don't like the idea of "needing" a medication. I honestly don't know what to say to that. I have never had a problem ingesting copious amounts of chemicals (for all the wrong reasons! Sure was fun while it lasted....Ok maybe only for about half of the time it lasted :heehee:)
I was so dysphoric HRT HAD TO WORK! or else breast cancer wasn't going to have time to kill me!

Traci Elizabeth
11-18-2011, 01:53 PM
You do sound a bit paranoid just by the way you phrase some of your sentences, and non-committal. But that is not all bad. We all approach our transition differently than anyone else and this process is uniquely ours alone. SO there are NO right or wrong ways to transition, just different ways. Some of us wobble back and forth most of our lives before we commit to remaining male or becoming physically female. I am also sure there are some who can never reach the full transition.

You have the added pressured of being and excuse the expression but a "Health Nut" which is probably a good thing but it seems to be interfering with you judgement as it relates to transitioning.

Bottom line, DON'T FEEL ALONE as many of us have had the same questions for a long time before we came to the truth of our being.

Julia_in_Pa
11-18-2011, 01:53 PM
Koka,

I'll tell it like it is; Your being paranoid about this.

Guess what?

Before you even read this reply you could be killed in an auto accident, choke on food, etc.
I see your problem not being so much TS related but a problem related to anxiety.


If your hunting for someone that has been on HRT for a long time that would be myself.

I've been on HRT for 11 years with no ill effects.

I have had no surgery that would have lowered my dosages.

Most of that time I've been injecting estrodial along with injecting progesterone and taking spironolactone orally.

Take care of your health and manage what little risk of complications from HRT there are by living well.

Now go be you. :O)


Julia

Badtranny
11-18-2011, 09:35 PM
Koka, I'm not one to tell somebody how to live but I feel like I have to say just one thing.

Regardless of what path your transition takes, or what you decide to do about the twig and berries, there is one thing that you MUST do; Commit.

There are many shades of transsexualism, but progress is black or white. Either you are moving forward, or you're not. Since you're a health nut/yoga instructor, I'm not telling you anything about commitment that you don't already know, so make the decision already. If you plan to live as a woman than you will need HRT. Yes your body will change but everyone I know has enjoyed the estrogen and accompanying testosterone reduction immensely, it might mean something if you're not.

Kaitlyn Michele
11-19-2011, 08:02 AM
Yes Melissa is right..commit!!! or commit to NOT commit..

You laid out two excuses , your health and your kids...

HRT is a moderate and manageable health risk...nobody does it and hopes for side effects... the risks are well documented and people here are good sounding boards... doses can be changed to get you the best balance...spiro is definitely a biggie and has alot of side effects, but a testosterone blocker is neccessary for best results physically and emotionally...

as far as kids, my (daughters) were 14 and 12... what does transition or srs have to do with being with your kids???
my transition showed them i was real, and now i have the benefit of a loving and daily relationship that is authentic and real..
"dad, can i borrow your eye liner?" and "what do you think of this top with these shoes?" are recent bonding moments... srs has nothing to do with it..

How strange to use "You only live once" as an excuse to throw it away. ~Bill Copeland

Koka
11-19-2011, 09:28 AM
Be happy you are ridiculously healthy! It doesn't sound like the general health risks associated with HRT are your real problem, you just don't like the idea of "needing" a medication. I honestly don't know what to say to that. I have never had a problem ingesting copious amounts of chemicals (for all the wrong reasons! Sure was fun while it lasted....Ok maybe only for about half of the time it lasted :heehee:)
I was so dysphoric HRT HAD TO WORK! or else breast cancer wasn't going to have time to kill me!

Aprilrain,

Thank you very much for your post. You are so right when you mention that my real problem is the idea of "needing a medication". There are times when I feel completely fine about the whole process and there are other times when I feel terrified by it. I spoke to my therapist last night and she also mentioned the fact that i should not see HRT as medication because I am not sick. She said, there is no cure to it, because there is no illness. Anyway, today I am much better.

Thank you for your time sweetheart and I looking forward to more communication.:love: