Ok...I Get It....Sort Of

[Gocaps14]

I took an on-line gender identity survey yesterday. I scored what an average female would score. I wasn't surprised. I understand that this wasn't exactly science but it seemed to confirm what I already knew. I am emotional, empathetic, hold generally female characteristics.I am wired that way. I am ok with that. But I always considered myself male expressing female tendencies. I would like to discover why I wear panties, which is how I chose to express my femine side. I do enjoy looking at other female clothes but don't feel right when I wear dresses and skirts, maybe its the fit, not sure. But why dressing? Why female clothes instead of panting my room pink or collecting dolls? Why not be a male, just not rough and tumble kind of guy? Still quite confused......

[KarenS]

We all have different comfort levels with our femininity. I love to fully dress with makeup.

It doesn't really matter to me why. I simply try to enjoy the femininity.

[suchacutie]

The one thread that is common among all of us is that at least a part of our brains are not wired in the typical "masculine" manner. That's where the similarity ends.

In my mind, our journey as M2F transgendered people encompasses learning about our feminine selves. The more we learn the more we evolve and learn. It's a cycle that just keeps going on and on resulting in our inability to shut it off. We are all, in some way, feminine. Our desire to understand that is compelling and ever evolving. I'm sure that every one of us can look back a year or two and see an incredible difference in how we understand ourselves. It really is an adventure!

:)

tina

[CINDYO]

it is a sexual fetish, and it bothers your wife. If you say it is not then buy a pair of mens satin boxers, feels the same but are for men, and that't the key. No wife wants to think of husband trotting around in a pair of womens panties, it is a major turn off and to some has a creepy psychological aspect to it, besides when you put them on, any thought that maybe these just don't fit a man, no details required.... boogles my mind too. Like me wearing a pair of mens briefs with a fly.. if I am a straight gg, why would i?? dont fit no made for a women, end of story.

[vetobob9]

The brain explains why you want to do it. However the fact that you feel bad about it is entirely cultural. You were not born feeling bad about wanting to wear women's clothes. You learned that from you parents, teachers, friends, and people you work with. It's works the same as peer pressure.
The fact that some women are repulsed by the idea of men wearing women's clothing is also entirely cultural. Both men and women are products of the social pressures applied to them. This is how taboos are born. For a long time crossdressing has been a social taboo. Not because it causes biological harm but because it helps government and elites control people.
Look at this way, when you are born, your brain is empty of all most software except that needed to eat, poop, and sleep. All other software has to be programmed into it either by experiences, teaching, or social peer pressure. Being offended at the idea of crossdressing or other forms of transgenderism is a trait that is taught and learned. It is not inherent to people.

[Marleena]

I thought this was a support forum? I have to question your reasons for being a member now. Turnoff, creepy?? To you maybe. The poster didn't mention the wife either



it is a sexual fetish, and it bothers your wife. If you say it is not then buy a pair of mens satin boxers, feels the same but are for men, and that't the key. No wife wants to think of husband trotting around in a pair of womens panties, it is a major turn off and to some has a creepy psychological aspect to it, besides when you put them on, any thought that maybe these just don't fit a man, no details required.... boogles my mind too. Like me wearing a pair of mens briefs with a fly.. if I am a straight gg, why would i?? dont fit no made for a women, end of story.

[Dawn cd]

I think people here respond to their femme side in many different ways. It doesn't help Gocaps to be told that he hasn't progressed enough and that oneday he'll graduate beyond panties. While I will never transition, I fully support those who feel the need to. I also support Gocaps who believes panties are enough for him. If you don't understand why people wear dresses and skirts, Gocaps, the answer is, we all act out our femininity differently. Vive la difference!

[Katelyn B]

it is a sexual fetish, and it bothers your wife. If you say it is not then buy a pair of mens satin boxers, feels the same but are for men, and that't the key. No wife wants to think of husband trotting around in a pair of womens panties, it is a major turn off and to some has a creepy psychological aspect to it, besides when you put them on, any thought that maybe these just don't fit a man, no details required.... boogles my mind too. Like me wearing a pair of mens briefs with a fly.. if I am a straight gg, why would i?? don't fit no made for a women, end of story.

I can honestly say there is nothing sexual or fetishistic about wearing a dress or being more feminine for me personally, and I know I'm not alone on this forum feeling that way. For some it may be true but you're drawing a huge generalisation about something extremely varied.

The more I dress and the more comfortable I feel with other people knowing and seeing me as a woman the more accepting of that side of myself I become, in a way I'm embracing my feminity, which has always been there, its just been repressed. Whether that means my brain is wired "wrong" or just differently then most men or I have a female brain and the wrong body I have no idea yet, its just something I'm trying to discover.

[Piora]

I took an on-line gender identity survey yesterday. I scored what an average female would score. I wasn't surprised. I understand that this wasn't exactly science but it seemed to confirm what I already knew. I am emotional, empathetic, hold generally female characteristics.I am wired that way. I am ok with that. But I always considered myself male expressing female tendencies. I would like to discover why I wear panties, which is how I chose to express my feminine side. I do enjoy looking at other female clothes but don't feel right when I wear dresses and skirts, maybe its the fit, not sure. But why dressing? Why female clothes instead of panting my room pink or collecting dolls? Why not be a male, just not rough and tumble kind of guy? Still quite confused......

Well, you make a good point. We all have our levels of how feminine we choose to express ourselves. Yours happens to be wearing panties, and only that. Each of us is different. Some of us underdress with bras and panties for years, and never move on to dresses, shoes, wigs & makeup. Others do. I myself, only very recently have begun to dress fully, after 34 years of CDing. Prior to that it was strictly underthings. And it was a sexual thing for me. However, that is no longer the case, and I dress only for the pleasure of what I'm wearing.

Perhaps it's a time-related thing. As we change our ideas about many other things in life, it's likely we will change dressing concepts as well. If you're happy with what you're doing right now - don't worry about it. This is your level....at least for the time being, and you quite possibly might never go further than that. Enjoy it.


it is a sexual fetish, and it bothers your wife.

Nothing in GoCaps' original post shows any evidence that for him, it is sexual. It might be, but don't jump to conclusions based on assumptions.

Where is the wife mentioned? Were you reading the same original post as the rest of us? GoCaps doesn't mention his wife - or even if he's married. Don't manufacture information that isn't there.


If you say it is not then buy a pair of men's satin boxers, feels the same but are for men, and that's the key.

You don't seem to understand. Most of us (not all of course, but I'd say most) only want to wear things that are made for women, not things that look and feel like women's things, but are made for men. I'm not interested in anything if it's not designed for women. That's the whole point of crossdressing! :doh:


No wife wants to think of husband trotting around in a pair of women's panties, it is a major turn off and to some has a creepy psychological aspect to it

In your opinion. Lots of GGs find it a turn-on to see their guy in all sorts of women's things - including panties. Lots more have no problem with it. Because it's a turn-off and is creepy to you, don't make sweeping statements with the assumption that everyone feels that way.


besides when you put them on, any thought that maybe these just don't fit a man, no details required.... boogles my mind too.

Wrong again. Many of us here find that women's panties are far more comfortable than male briefs. I'm not talking about bikinis or thongs - I mean, full waist briefs for women. I have pairs that I own, that are the most comfortable things I have ever worn. As far as I'm concerned - they fit me just fine.


Like me wearing a pair of mens briefs with a fly.. if I am a straight gg, why would i?? dont fit no made for a woman, end of story.

Why do you think that so many women's panties have a design that is exactly that? Some even have a pseudo-fly as part of the design. Others look like guys briefs. I would look through many more posts on this site before making the assumptions that you have. It just seems that you haven't read very much about the rest of the site.

[Gocaps14]

As usual you all are honest yet kind. Cindyo, almost was wondering if you were my wife.....But you touched on my question, I know my brain is wired more feminine than masculine. Ok I can deal with it, not ideal but not bad either. My ponderance is, why be female and why dress the part? Why not be a meek male? Probably no-one can answer that question for me. I am starting to think that I am finally honestly looking at myself and trying to figure out who I am, and how I can be ok with who I am. Right now I don't have an answer to either of those questions.

[JulieK1980]

it is a sexual fetish, and it bothers your wife. If you say it is not then buy a pair of mens satin boxers, feels the same but are for men, and that't the key. No wife wants to think of husband trotting around in a pair of womens panties, it is a major turn off and to some has a creepy psychological aspect to it, besides when you put them on, any thought that maybe these just don't fit a man, no details required.... boogles my mind too. Like me wearing a pair of mens briefs with a fly.. if I am a straight gg, why would i?? dont fit no made for a women, end of story.

This does not fit me, nor does it fit a description of my wife. I appreciate that you think you speak for all women, and that all of us "cds" fit into your generalized idea however, (thankfully) you do not.

[Kaz]

it is a sexual fetish, and it bothers your wife. If you say it is not then buy a pair of mens satin boxers, feels the same but are for men, and that't the key. No wife wants to think of husband trotting around in a pair of womens panties, it is a major turn off and to some has a creepy psychological aspect to it, besides when you put them on, any thought that maybe these just don't fit a man, no details required.... boogles my mind too. Like me wearing a pair of mens briefs with a fly.. if I am a straight gg, why would i?? dont fit no made for a women, end of story.

I must admit that I was quite upset by this. The OP is being honest and asking a pretty deep hearted question that is central to most of us here as it touches why we do this crazy thing that we do.

To dismiss it as a sexual fetish is unfair and unwarranted given the limited information available. It is another example of labelling CDs as sexual fetishists, which quite frankly is the same as burying your head in the sand and hoping it will go away. We are trying to understand the many diverse issues related to this and this community comprises a very broad mix of people with very different life experiences, attitudes, hopes and dreams.

I would love to see your evidence for this sweeping blanket statement that I guess sums up your opinion rather than a reasoned analysis and synthesis of the issues?

OK... in years to come, if we all finally come to the conclusion that gender dysphoria is just a sexual fetish, I will apologise and cite you as the person with the insight that could have changed the world.

Most of my GG friends here are more conducive to discussion and exploration, which I believe to be a positive way forward.


I took an on-line gender identity survey yesterday. I scored what an average female would score. I wasn't surprised. I understand that this wasn't exactly science but it seemed to confirm what I already knew. I am emotional, empathetic, hold generally female characteristics.I am wired that way. I am ok with that. But I always considered myself male expressing female tendencies. I would like to discover why I wear panties, which is how I chose to express my femine side. I do enjoy looking at other female clothes but don't feel right when I wear dresses and skirts, maybe its the fit, not sure. But why dressing? Why female clothes instead of panting my room pink or collecting dolls? Why not be a male, just not rough and tumble kind of guy? Still quite confused......

Still trying to work this out as well... but over the years and as I have understood it more, and certainly including the great insights from others, I know it won't go away. So why do I do it? I get such amazing pleasure and peace of mind when dressed. I love the way the fabrics feel and the way dresses and skirts move. When wearing suspenders (garter belts) and stocking, I love that gentle 'tug' as you walk. I love the feeling of wearing heels... especially when I can run to the car in them! When I wear forms, I love the extra weight on my torso and the way that changes my balance when I walk... I love wearing rings and bracelets... they feel so good.

Sometimes certain clothes don't fit well because of the shape we are... so learn to understand your shape and get clothes accordingly! Most GGs have every shape imaginable (as do GMs)... My wife has spent a large part of her life trying colthes on to find what works and what doesn't. My top is a size 16 (UK), my bottom half a 10... if I want tight fitting. I have a 36" bra band size and a 36" hip size. My waist size is my business!

The 16 top is because I have male broad shoulders... but wearing the right mix of clothes helps reproportion things...

We can do women's clothes to make it work, in general... the other issue is why... and for all of us here, that is the journey we are on...

BTW... those on-line gender surveys are pointless and not good. They tend to be based on opinion rather than any science... ignore them and go with your feelings.

[Gillian Gigs]

Ok...I Get It....Sort Of, that about says it all. So why do I like nylon panties???? Why do I like stockings, cami's, bras, skirts, and all of the other fixings?????? Well I do, and I have come to the point in life, that I just accept it and enjoy it for whatever it is worth. Is it transgenderism, or just the way that my brain is wired? Maybe I, or the rest of us will ever know, just accept it, move on and enjoy life. The problem with "normal" is, by who's standards are you normal? On this site I am normal, just like everyone else, and that is why I keep coming back. So put on your best panties and watch a football game,LOL.

[Aprilrain]

it is a sexual fetish, and it bothers your wife. If you say it is not then buy a pair of mens satin boxers, feels the same but are for men, and that't the key. No wife wants to think of husband trotting around in a pair of womens panties, it is a major turn off and to some has a creepy psychological aspect to it, besides when you put them on, any thought that maybe these just don't fit a man, no details required.... boogles my mind too. Like me wearing a pair of mens briefs with a fly.. if I am a straight gg, why would i?? dont fit no made for a women, end of story.

The OP said nothing about sex or a wife.

How would you know men's satin boxers feel the same? Same as what? Personally I wouldnt wear satin anything I'm all about the cotton panties

You probably should just speak for your self instead of making broad generalizations about how ALL wives feel.

My panties fit me just fine but I guess that's cause I'm a woman.

If you were a gay GG why would you wear men's tighty whiteies? Is that what you think CDing is about?

I've met a lot of lesbians and none of them cross dressed.

I'm just trying to figure out what rock you just crawled out from under.

[Kate T]

I think we can assume CINDYO has been sufficiently admonished for what seemed like a badly thought through post. Hopefully once she has a better look around this site and reads a bit more then she will understand why that post was badly received.

Gocaps, Your original question and follow up post are actually very interesting, in fact probably the more interesting question you asked in the original post and few have picked up on it i.e. why not paint room pink / collect dolls etc. I do do some "feminine" activities (make jewellery, cooking, sewing, I even used to make dolls) but I guess the thing is that these "things" or activities or whatever are not that uncommon for a male to do. Eccentric maybe but they don't necessarily identify as feminine. Wearing womens clothes is quintessentially feminine, hence those of us with a feminine gender identity use this to express that.

At least that's my thoughts for the moment. Open to argument on the point though and I actually really like the question.

[Nigella]

OK, this thread is not about one members interpretation of the OP, lets get it back on topic

Nigella
Moderator

[Katelyn B]

... Gocaps, Your original question and follow up post are actually very interesting, in fact probably the more interesting question you asked in the original post and few have picked up on it i.e. why not paint room pink / collect dolls etc. I do do some "feminine" activities (make jewellery, cooking, sewing, I even used to make dolls) but I guess the thing is that these "things" or activities or whatever are not that uncommon for a male to do.....

I would say its because your hobbies and activities are merely an expression of who you are not what you are, in the same way sexual orientation, which sex you find desirable, isn't determined by gender. There are plenty of women who enjoy what I guess would be considered transitionally mens activities, like hunting, and many men who do traditional female activities like baking, and most of those aren't doing so through any confusion of their birth gender.

Whilst non of the hobbies I have are particularly "male" (though they are quite geeky which to most people is the same thing) I spend most of my time doing them whilst wearing a dress, not because they are something a woman would do, but because I want to be a woman whilst doing them. Not sure that makes sense but to me there is a difference.