What's Masculine, What's Feminine, and What Am I? (open to all)

[sanderlay]

(Moderators...
If there is a more appropriate place for this thread... Please move it so I can learn for next time I see one from a similar point of view.)

****

I was doing a search in Google about... feminine inside myself... and I saw this article at the top of the search results.

What's Masculine, What's Feminine, and What Am I? (http://communities.ic.org/articles/72/Whats_Masculine_Whats_Feminine_and_What_Am_I)

It's about a woman that embraces more of her masculine side doing activities that have been seen as more traditional to men. She had been suppressing her feminine side much of her life and now is embracing more of her feminine side.

I've seen this most often discussed from the point of view of a male looking at their feminine side. As a GM, genetic male, it's my point of view as well. But to be fair to my feminine side and to other women I think her point of view helps to be more fair and balanced on this subject, especially from a... non TG perspective. I would like to hear what you think.

What did you think about this article and your view of the masculine and the feminine?

*** Note: Please be sensitive to each others view points. This is NOT about what is right or wrong or attacking another persons position on the subject.

[sissystephanie]

I think Scarlet Rose said it very well. If you are a "real" person, regardless of which gender you prefer to present as, you will rise to the occasion and take care of it. Gender is something we are born with, and without surgery we can't do much about it. But that doesn't mean that we can't do things that are supposedly only done by the other gender!! My late wife and I had 2 wonderful children, and I, along with my wife, played a major role in their upbringing. I did that because I had been taught that marriage is a two way street. You should share tasks, not lay most things on one person. And life is that way all the time!! As Scarlet said, it is just doing what is required!!

[Emma Leigh]

Gender is something we are born with, and without surgery we can't do much about it. But that doesn't mean that we can't do things that are supposedly only done by the other gender!! My late wife and I had 2 wonderful children, and I, along with my wife, played a major role in their upbringing. I did that because I had been taught that marriage is a two way street. You should share tasks, not lay most things on one person. And life is that way all the time!! As Scarlet said, it is just doing what is required!!

I brought 2 of my children up on my own after my wife went AWOL, I did,nt think anything of it, other than it had to be done, my gender was never an issue, and I never considered it to be an issue, I think the old issues of the roles of gender are simply that "OLD" and that in modern society there are no male or female only roles other than what nature intended, and I do not think that the fact I am a CD had any influence on this whatsoever.

[docrobbysherry]

It's one thing to discuss the ROLES of each gender.

And, quite another to discuss which gender, (or combo there of), we RELATE TO!:brolleyes:


As for myself, I don't feel fem when I dress. I may think I LOOK, ACT, or PRETEND I'm female. But, I NEVER FEEL LIKE ONE INSIDE!:straightface:

Since I'm the same person I've been my entire life, I only know what it is like to be ME!
No idea what it is like to BE "male" or "female"!:eek:

[Suzy Parker]

Throw everything out the window you read on this as is is up to each person to decide this for themselves and hopefully be tolerant of others who differ in this from you. Isn't it about just feeling good and enjoying life.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I think the boundary between female and male is getting a lot less of a barrier and that many are finding they can be in between, like a bit of gray matter. Sure I have tools for engines, machinery and welders but I also have sewing machines and a surger too.
I cook because I have to eat, I clean the house because I like it clean, I launder because I treasure my clothes and other things. I can also cut down a tree, even with an axe, mix a barrow of concrete, hammer a nail and break a nail (cries).
I like a good war movie but also cry over a good romantic novel. Love my flowers, lawn, trees and shrubs but dislike mowing in the middle of summer.
I personally do not think the type of work dictates ones gender but society, family, and personal commitments seem to direct a gender issued to you by way of "your place" to fit into society/family. I think that if there is a job to do, we all try and do it as best we can. How you do it and how successful you are at it is usually up to your experience.
Male, female or who I am I think is becoming more of like, I am a person, maybe confused but still a person.

[KellyCT2011]

Throw everything out the window you read on this as is is up to each person to decide this for themselves and hopefully be tolerant of others who differ in this from you. Isn't it about just feeling good and enjoying life.

I agree with Suzy Satin!

[Shananigans]

It's one thing to discuss the ROLES of each gender.

I actually agree with Sherry here.

It seems like in today's society, what is "masculine" and what is "feminine" in role is being smudged away with because it's just not plausible to carry on with anymore. Everyone is working and just trying to get by right now.

I mean, if I had to rely on a man every time I needed something that was inherently "masculine" to be done, I'd be old and rotted away...and, it still wouldn't be done.

Do I jump up and down because I chopped some logs for my fireplace? Not really...just doing what needs to be done.

I'd applaud more men who would step up into a more "feminine" role and do the laundry, get the kids dressed, make dinner, and clean the house. But, usually these aren't the feminine roles that men like to be involved with...most times, it's just the feminine role in the bedroom that gets attention. Believe it or not, I have to do things throughout the day that is irrelevant to how I am dressed or what is going in my various orifices. These, however, are often the types of roles that are forgotten by men.

I think women are very role flexible when we need to be/something needs to be done. (Maybe this why Rosie the Riveter was a big icon and still is today). And, if this helps us get in touch with our "masculine" side...so be it.

But, I just don't see assigned roles like chopping wood or taking care of kids as inherently masculine or feminine. I think everyone has both masculine and feminine energies, but men tend to feel the need to suppress their feminine sides. This suppression can be by denial of "feminine roles and traits."

However, at the same time, I don't see donning a dress and heels as really embracing your feminine side.

[ReineD]

The author sounds a bit like me. She grew up feeling she shouldn't be barred from doing certain things just because she's a girl. She said she spent a lot of time "denying her feminine side", but I think she was defining a feminine side based on old gender role constructs. She knew she still was a girl. She had three brothers and she wanted to fit in with the guys. I don't blame her. And then she moved to an area where she was "praised" for doing things she felt were not particularly gendered, such as felling trees.

You know, pioneering women did a lot of hard, physical work on the farm, and no one thought they were masculine for doing this. The idea that some activities should be restricted to men is a fairly recent construct, and thank God this period of time was only a small slice of the 20th century. :p

I also become impatient when I am praised for doing something that others consider is "man's work", but that I see as just being a chore. At the same time, I don't consider that my son is being feminine when he wants to learn how to make home made bisquits. He lives on his own and he wants to eat well. And I don't feel I treated my sons like girls when I insisted they help with the housework. lol

What we do and how we spend our time has nothing to do with gender. There are men who cook, and women who enjoy gruelling outdoor work. There are female professional athletes too. :)

So, to me it sounds as if the author did not want to have restrictions place on her. A woman can be every bit of a woman, even if she knows how to fix a tractor. :D I'm glad she has gotten rid of old gender stereotypes and she feels at peace now.

I feel so grateful that I had a father who respected my mind and my abilities, and he never, EVER, told me I couldn't do anything just because I was a girl. :)

[Badtranny]

However, at the same time, I don't see donning a dress and heels as really embracing your feminine side.

This post was just about perfect. I've been saying since I started this crazy process that the clothes ain't the point. I think a manly man (yes please) can fully embrace his "feminine" side by being sensitive and compassionate and nurturing etc, and never wear a single stitch of women's clothes. I've met many CDs over the last couple of years (they're everywhere) and most of them don't strike me as being very feminine, so I think the concept of expressing a suppressed femininity goes much deeper than the the clothes, or the walk, or the voice, or as Shan pointed out, the sex.

[Shananigans]

This post was just about perfect. I've been saying since I started this crazy process that the clothes ain't the point. I think a manly man (yes please) can fully embrace his "feminine" side by being sensitive and compassionate and nurturing etc, and never wear a single stitch of women's clothes. I've met many CDs over the last couple of years (they're everywhere) and most of them don't strike me as being very feminine, so I think the concept of expressing a suppressed femininity goes much deeper than the the clothes, or the walk, or the voice, or as Shan pointed out, the sex.

Yay! We finally agree on something! ;)

I wish the author had fleshed this point out more: "I notice that I highly value some “masculine” traits and strive to develop some of them within myself; for instance, I’d like to be more focused and goal-oriented at times. All well and good, except that I’m aware of our culture (and myself) undervaluing more “feminine” qualities."

Were these conversations also based around perceived gender "duties" in society?

I also wish she had flesh out this: "I notice that I highly value some 'masculine' traits and strive to develop some of them within myself; for instance, I’d like to be more focused and goal-oriented at times. All well and good, except that I’m aware of our culture (and myself) undervaluing more 'feminine' qualities."

Are these perceived masculine qualities? Or, are they just qualities of people who are kind of the go-getting personality? What are these feminine values that she thinks aren't as valued? Cooking and cleaning? Emotions? Are these feminine qualities?

Reine got me thinking about farms. I didn't grow up on a "farm-farm," but having 18 horses...everyone worked. The women didn't sit inside, eating bon-bons, talking about their feelings, and planning out the dinner for the night. Everyone worked and no one was too precious to scoop poop.

I just feel like gender "duties" have long been outdated and I figured they were null and void. I mean, I know guys like to push on a lot of stuff with women, but sheesh...if I only did my duties for my gender, nothing would get done.

What I wish the author had done a better job at fleshing out were these masculine and feminine traits outside of societal segregation of gender work...which...doesn't really apply in this world anymore.

[kimdl93]

I've never associated feminine and masculine qualities with the clothes...but rather a difference intrinsic to behavior, like being "emotionally intelligent". Remember that scene from Hitchiker's Guide to the Universe - where they discover an empathy gun - if dicharged at a person, he'll suddenly have empathy for the feelings of the shooter. But it doesn't work on Zoe Deschanel's character Trillian....because she's a woman...she already has empathy!

[Joanne f]

I think things are masculine or feminine by the way they look, feel, sound or move and not by a certain type of job that needs doing so a person will still be masculine or feminine what ever job they do as it is within them not the job .