If only we had a gender therapist on this board to answer questions!

[Marleena]

Somebody qualified that could actually answer questions that keep coming up. You know, like a Dear Abby question area "ask the the therapist". They could answer some of the more common questions that come up. Does anybody know a therapist that might join to answer even a few questions a week? Is this possible?

Wouldn't it be great?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Lots of therapists do video chat. Skype and FaceTime and yahoo messenger...etc...

What do you do for a living? Will u do it for free for us? I think that would great too!.

Btw..kidding aside...
Google Anne vitale, Gianna Israel (sp?) , tsroadmap, etc... There are tons of resources online

[Marleena]

Do we have resource links here? That might be a good idea too.

I know everybody wants to get paid. :) We all give each other advice and ideas for free though. This board is a source of therapy.

[Michelle.M]

I think what Marleena means is that this site would be the bomb-diggity if there were a member here who was an actual therapist who offered an opinion in threads as we other members do.

I dunno, but if I were a therapist I think I'd lurk here just so I could see what the current issues are popping up in the lives of trans folks. But there's no way I'd reveal myself, as that would defeat the purpose for my being here.

[Marleena]

That was the idea Michelle. I'm allowed one bad idea per week if it turns out that way.:)

[Eryn]

I think that the collective wisdom of hundreds of forum members who have actually walked the walk is far superior to that of a single person who happens to have a diploma hanging on the wall.

[Marleena]

Please file under bad idea.:sad:

[AllieSF]

I think that a therapist would be hesitant to be that source of opinions and counseling since it takes special time to know a client, special experience to counsel on "T" specific issues, and then there is the liability, and typical forum backwash from people who will question everything the therapist says. I believe that it would be a lose - lose situation for a therapist to confront all of us and our issues and lack of communication skills, and then add in all the "My way is correct" opinionated know it alls here, and we would have some really fun threads to follow.

[Shananigans]

Not only a forum therapist...but, something like WebMD for gender issues would be the bomb haha..

But, nothing is more annoying than a patient coming in with their own diagnosis for something. I have a pain in my leg...clearly, it's a DVT! I like wearing dresses and sometimes get off on the idea of being a woman...clearly, I am a TS!

It would be nice to have a therapist that might not be able to make diagnoses, but just give general light on topics. I would think that even in therapy, there would be a number of assessments performed before a diagnosis were made. I think a lot of people on the forum want a clear cut answer on things: Does this make me bisexual? Does this mean that I am a TS? Will my wife accept me?

Often, there are no clear cut answers with anything in life. So, a therapist here making formal diagnoses would be worn thin after a few hours. But, just adding general light on things would be nice. I often want to ask why things are the way they are in the DSM, or how someone would go about treating someone who is a TS and presents with a mental disorder. I think about these things and never have answers.

[Michelle.M]

That was the idea Michelle. I'm allowed one bad idea per week if it turns out that way.:)

Actually, not a bad idea. But then we'd have to pay a subscription fee for the service! :)

[suzy1]

Some of us here have no need for therapists. I am talking about the members that have a good grip on life. That are perfectly able to work through any problems they have themselves.

And is it healthy to be guided through life by a stranger that could be talking rubbish.

[And Eryn’s comment is spot on]

SUZY

[noeleena]

Hi,

I For one have never spoken to one or talked with one,

a Pysch i told him what i had & was doing if you can call 45 mins of talking i had no concerns or had any ?'s i would ask,
For my self what would i talk about & why. as to dysphora or what ever, apart from not knowing what the word meant . i saw no point,

It comes down to knowing who you are & accepting who you are, i did , unless some one has gone through details in life as we have & some one who has not do they really understand us , no they dont & never will. they may have some good idears just they are not us, so no i would not disscuss any details thats for my self to work through, tho proberly not what people wont to hear its still the truth.

Haveing said that for my self , if others feel the need to talk with one thats not an issue & in some ways may be the best for them ,

It depends on the person at the time,

...noeleena...

[Shananigans]

Some of us here have no need for therapists. I am talking about the members that have a good grip on life. That are perfectly able to work through any problems they have themselves.

And is it healthy to be guided through life by a stranger that could be talking rubbish.

[And Eryn’s comment is spot on]

SUZY

I don't know, Suzy. I think that healthy people need therapists a lot of times. A good example would be pre-marital counseling...you may be going into the marriage thinking that you have talked about all of the important issues; however, it's sometimes nice to have an outside source that can offer you advice and direct you in better discussions about your future.

[eluuzion]

Please file under bad idea.:sad:

hiya M,

Yep, I can relate to starting a thread and realizing it was probably a bad idea to post it. Come to think of it, that is true in most of my attempts to start threads,:daydreaming:

But since you know the rule about every intended good deed being punished…I feel obligated to spank you by replying with the following unnecessary comment…:D

A typical discussion forum will not have many medical or mental health “professionals” as members. If it does, the first comment any of them will make (should make) is to state the obvious, which is to recommend the first step of seeking face-to-face counsel with a licensed professional in the field.

Professionals know and amateurs should realize that any type of diagnosis, treatment suggestions or “advice” offered in response to a plea for help in a post on an internet forum has greater potential to do more harm than good.

In every case any reply is given without first-hand knowledge of the actual condition that is causing the symptoms for that particular individual. Most “symptoms” described by a poster could potentially be present in several different types of disorders or medical conditions. It is illogical and unwise to assume that anyone (professional or amateur) could accurately diagnose the cause of a health related symptom(s) solely from reading content supplied in a post on an internet forum.

The potential for error is just too high. The potential consequences of acting upon what later may prove to have been incorrect information could be devastating. For example the person may opt to follow incorrect advice posted on a forum in lieu of consulting a qualified professional to obtain a professional diagnosis of their condition.

The last thing I would consider doing is to seek advice regarding a personal medical/mental health problem on an internet forum. I would definitely not act upon any advice or information posted on the internet regarding any medical or mental health issues prior to seeing a licensed professional.

That is just me…I place a lot of value in applying common sense to most issues.

Hey, one positive aspect of internet forums is that if you happen to make a complete fool of yourself (not the case here of course) sometime on a forum...you always have the option of just disappearing forever into cyberspace with the same anonymous protection of your real identity as you have right now...:heehee:

Ah, the internet, what a planet...:D

:love:

[donnalee]

A few thoughts.
!. Why buy the cow when the milk is free; no one attempting to make a living as a therapist willingly gives away what they are selling except as a come-on, not if they want to stay in business. Sorry, but this is a fact of life.
2. "Therapy" implies a disease for which one needs to be treated. Are you ill? If not, then why do you need a therapist?
3. If 2 or more people are having a disagreement, they can seek out a referee or an arbitrator; although often these are labeled "therapists", that is not their function.
4. The only other reason to employ these is to use them to run the hurdles set up by medical insurance. Unfortunately this has become the norm even for MDs; treatment of necessary medical issues has been delayed or denied by this tactic, to the detriment of the patient.

[Jonianne]

Please file under bad idea.:sad:

Marleena, even if you think it is a bad idea, the fact is, it opens discussion that helps everyone to come to a little more knowledge. So, never beat yourself up. Even if it was a mistake (which it is not), we all must learn by making mistakes, there is no other way around it. So treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.


I think that the collective wisdom of hundreds of forum members who have actually walked the walk is far superior to that of a single person who happens to have a diploma hanging on the wall.

What I learned from good therapists, is that their job is to help you come to the place in your life, where you know how and where to go to find help and support within your own community of friends and family, outside of a therapists office.

It is the therapists job to put themselves out of a job.

[DAVIDA]

I thought that Reine was ours.:eek:
Maybe not a therapist, but a counselor.:thumbsup::D

[suzy1]

I don't know, Suzy. I think that healthy people need therapists a lot of times. A good example would be pre-marital counseling...you may be going into the marriage thinking that you have talked about all of the important issues; however, it's sometimes nice to have an outside source that can offer you advice and direct you in better discussions about your future.

I know we can agree to disagree on this and remain friends Shannon.
So I disagree.

But lots of hugs, SUZY :hugs:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

That was the idea Michelle. I'm allowed one bad idea per week if it turns out that way.:)

LOL...i know...just bustin on you!!

it would be wonderful to have some real professional advice...of course, there are lots of quacks out there too...

[rebekkadg]

Generally I think any professional who came on board here to chat would get pretty overwealmed with questions. People would get upset that they weren't being answered and so on. It is a lot to put on someone. I know I would like to talk to a therapist myself though I don't know what help or lack of help that would be. There is a certain comfort in having someone "professional" state their opinion about something even if any number of people who aren't professionals could easily state the same thing or have more informed and knowledgeable opinions.

[OKPink]

I am sure there are many licensed therapists on this board already. Sharing experiences, learning and participating like everyone else. Therapists like to CD too!
A good therapist will see it as their job to help individuals connect with others and the world around them for long term support. That is exactly what this board does.
A therapist really has no better answer than a typical thread here. For example, in a recent thread the writer asked "am I bisexual"? There were 10-15 answers all with unique perspectives and good direction. That is far more valuable that one "expert" pontificating a simple answer to what is really a complex question.
Sure a professional can be useful in acute crisis, and should be sought by one who is distressed by their behavior, one who is suicidal or unable to generate self-acceptance. A therapist is also useful for teaching specific skills of stress management (like mindfulness) but many of these techniques can be a learned elsewhere as well.
In the end, a dear abby type service would provide interesting reads, but be no more valuable than any other dear abby type column. And certainly less useful than the regular contributions of the board members.

[kimdl93]

yeah, it would be nice to have a professional therapist, but as noted, they probably expect to get paid, which is understandable, and there may be some concerns about doling out advice w/o really knowing the person your advising.

[Eryn]

I thought that Reine was ours.:eek:
Maybe not a therapist, but a counselor.:thumbsup::D

I agree with you! Reine has a natural talent for that! :)


I don't know, Suzy. I think that healthy people need therapists a lot of times. A good example would be pre-marital counseling...you may be going into the marriage thinking that you have talked about all of the important issues; however, it's sometimes nice to have an outside source that can offer you advice and direct you in better discussions about your future.

I'd buy that, but according to the statistics that the counselors themselves quote, people who receive counseling divorce at a rate 70% that of the general population. Considering that people who self-select to seek out counseling are already more committed to having a good marriage I'd think that the divorce rate would be far lower if marriage counseling were effective.

[ashlylynn]

Please file under bad idea.:sad:

You were voicing an opinion shared by probably 80% of the members here
so don't take it personally if you FEEL that it trainwrecked. It didn't.

The fact is, Michell.M made a VERY valid point in that a therapist
might become A BETTER therapist by coming in here and reading and
participating.

But really, unless THEY are CD or TG too - they can only regurgitate
good ideas or provide IMPRACTICAL advice because not one of them
can tell you WHY you are CD / TG or understand our point of view.

I am a GG and sorta have interest in having guy parts but not a TG.
I do however have a very sympathetic ear for M2F TGs and CD males
( note I recognize they are different and the first one IS NOT MALE
wheras a therapist would tell a M2F TG that "he was born male" )

[*Vanessa*]

Some of us here have no need for therapists. And is it healthy to be guided through life by a stranger that could be talking rubbish.

SUZY

Totally agree with that statement Suzy. My Ex had one that her other psyc called her teddy-beat therapist. And he did nothing for her for 8 years. I often wondered about that give/take relationship..

We on the other hand, I don't have a hope in hell of sorting things out, it's just to darn fun playing with all this stuff in my head.. lol

[KellyJameson]

Hey Marleena. Don't feel to bad, the first time I posted a thread the moderators closed it almost immediately out of concern for the welfare of others because of the subject matter and my second was not related to crossdressing so was closed, and my third did not last long either. heee heee. Sometimes I think I really am the devil or at least seriously crazy.

Your heart was in the right place. Life is therapy all you have to do is learn what love is and what it is not.

[sandra-leigh]

Some of us here have no need for therapists. I am talking about the members that have a good grip on life. That are perfectly able to work through any problems they have themselves.

There is a strong economic theory that says that one should only produce what one can do most efficiently, and that one should outsource or purchase everything else. What I produce most efficiently are certain technology related ideas; it is most economically efficient for me to concentrate on that, and to leave situational and interpersonal analysis to those that produce that most efficiently (i.e., therapists.) It would take me a lot of studying over a long period, and a lot of "knowledge maintenance" in order to address life problems as easily as a therapist does, so the rational thing to do is to rent that expertise on an as-needed basis.

I am not at all sure what "a good grip on life" encompasses. I have seen it put forth by some on this site that, pretty much by definition, if one sees a therapist, then one does not have "a good grip on life". I consider such definitions to be baseless sophistry, and tantamount to penis-waving challenges along the line of "I'm a stronger / better / smarter man than any man who would consider going to a therapist!" I stopped playing such games about the time I became an adult.

[Sarasometimes]

Maybe Dr. Phil could help us? He is a therapist right? Frankly there would be no way of knowing if they were for real. I also wonder if giving such advice online is in a clients best interest. I pay for my therapy and it takes a few sessions to be understood, so on paper it sound's good but I will pass (pun intended, and I wish).

[Dannigirl]

Have you ever broken down the word "therapist" ?? Kinda scary. You can go with "The Rapist" or with "Thera Pist" the latter meaning an eruption of anger !!

just sayin :devil:

[Shelly Preston]

We do have some Professional people on the forum

It is there personal choice to contribute where they feel it will be useful

I have never been to a therapist, but I am sure for some people they provide a valued service. It has been said before a threapist will take time to get to know a person and their problems. Also we should also remember they are here during there free time.

[BRANDYJ]

If we had therapist on the panel, I would think the only professional advice they could give is to go see a therapist since they don't know the person seeking advice well enough to offer professional help. Perhaps the many pieces of advice, opinions and experiences we all contribute is as good as any professional can do under the circumstances of not knowing the person or situation well enough to do any better then some of us that offer our comments.

[Kathy Smith]

Please file under bad idea.:sad:


No, you got people to talk. That's what a therapist does, so your's was a self-fulfilling idea in a way! Feel better now? :-) Want a job as our new therapist?

I doubt very much if you could find a therapist with sufficient specialist training to be able to offer much on here - we would need at least 2 anyway, a TV/CD and a TG/TS as a minimum just to keep everyone more or less happy. Then they'd get into hissy fits with each other and we'd all have to council them. It's really not worth it. ;-)

[Marleena]

We do have some Professional people on the forum

It is there personal choice to contribute where they feel it will be useful

I have never been to a therapist, but I am sure for some people they provide a valued service. It has been said before a threapist will take time to get to know a person and their problems. Also we should also remember they are here during there free time.

Thanks Shelly, I never knew that there were some here. I think that if a therapist even tells people it's not a big deal that they CD could be helpful. Coming from a professional might put some minds at ease. I understand about the one on one sessions being needed. I also get it that they decide when to participate here.



Oh..and no Kathy I don't want the job! :)

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Marleena, I agree and yes you have had the initiative to ask. I remember sitting in tutorials during the first semester in my first year at Uni and never asking a question. I was open to listening and others asked a question I wanted to ask. My attitude changed in second semester, I asked questions no matter how stupid they seemed to me, others also wanted to know.

It would be nice to have an expert to answer, but there will always be that one person who will try and put the teacher down just to make themselves out a hero. Usually they drop out of the course. I also don't think they would want to be subjected to criticism when they are offering their services for free. Then how do they stand legally if someone takes their advice and stupidly applies it to their own position without consideration of their own predicament.
Thank you for posting the topic.

[Marleena]

Thanks Tania, it did get people involved in the thread so all is not lost.:)

[Sometimes Steffi]

I don't think we need a therapist.

I've seen and am seeing a therapist and I think she does 2 things:

1, She creates a judgement-free zone.

2. She asks questions, like what do you think or how do you feel about this.

She does not try to tell me the answers about myself or tell me what to think.

She will tell me, from here experience, the best way to approach my wife about this.

I think we get all the benefits of a therapist on this forum without having one.

[Raychel Torn]

When my wife and I saw a therapist to talk over my CD'ing the first thing he asked was if I had found a good forum. He seemed to think that being a part of a community like this was one of the best things I could do. I think he was right.

[Launa]

For me this site is the best therapy I could ask for. All the members are individual therapists for me, I don't want to sound too corny but its true. I've been to therapists before about other things and after several hundred dollars I get a few good pointers at best. It was still worth going to those sessions. Here I get so many view points from peers and most of you are going through or have gone through the same things as me. Thanks to all of you!

[ReineD]

All the members are individual therapists for me, I don't want to sound too corny but its true.

Agreed! Every time members gives heartfelt advice or their considered opinions, they help the OP. :hugs:

And collectively, we engage in all kinds of therapy: collaborative therapy, conflict resolution therapy, dream analysis, interplay, shock therapy :), self-acceptance training, and the forum favorites, journal therapy & existential psychotherapy ... plus my own specialty, reality therapy. :D

[TSchapes]

Just my experience with therapists, is that the medical community is not as well versed as this board is. I have been to a number and I've had to teach them more about transgender than you would believe. I even took my son to a sex specialist that concentrates on couples and gay issues (he's gay), and he surprised me by how many questions he asked about my crossdressing.

I will tell you, that in conjunction with this board, if you can attend a conference or a support group, they will prove invaluable as everyone there has walked the walk and talked the talk.

-Tracy

[Missy]

Ok Most therapist might do it for a fee but think about it a minute after work in this field all day long do you really think you would be willing to take on every one questions every night every night of the week for free not me I like helping people but I need a break form it

[Patty B.]

I agree with an earlier post ReineD is our therapist/counselor.

[ReineD]

Thanks to those of you who nominate me as the resident whatnot, but really, I'm not!!

I'm just a very opinionated person who likes to get into everyone's business but my own, and who often gets it all wrong. :p

Seriously, it's the collective effort that makes it work here. We all teach each other stuff. :)

[VioletJourney]

I don't trust gender therapists. I feel like a lot of what they do may be quackery, because I can't think of a way it can be done without some kind of humanistic or psychodynamic BS.

[sometimes_miss]

Actually, you can find the answer to most questions if you search for them. Not only here, but using google search as well. But it's work; and most people aren't willing to go through the trouble, not to mention the ones who already have an answer thay want to get just to support a decision they've already made about themselves.

[BillieJoEllen]

My feeling is that if you had a hundred different therapists there would be one hundred different opinions on any one subject. The more experienced the therapist the more their opinion(s) would vary.
Been there, done that.

[FurPus63]

I might have posted before somewhere that I am a mental health therapist. 10 years experience but none with cross-dressers, so it would be difficult for me to answer all questions. I could however; give my best educated guess. What kind of questions are you proposing?

Paulette

[Marleena]

I might have posted before somewhere that I am a mental health therapist. 10 years experience but none with cross-dressers, so it would be difficult for me to answer all questions. I could however; give my best educated guess. What kind of questions are you proposing?

Paulette

Thanks Paulette. The most basic of all questions----> Are crossdressers considered "normal". Should we feel guilty, or stop CDing because society has trouble accepting us?

Also be ready for disagreements to some of your answers. Nature of the beast. P.S. Do you crossdress too?

Marleena